Another life lost.

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At 28 years of age, Maggie took her own life. She struggled for 10 years with her eating disorder, before she decided to commit suicide Sunday night, March 4th. A friend of Leah, another ED sufferer who passed away unexpectedly in January and other readers of this blog, our hearts go out to her boyfriend and family during this time.

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12 Responses to Another life lost.

  1. Danyel says:

    How scary.
    I don’t want to die.

  2. It’s very sad that people think death is the only solution. :(

  3. Danyel says:

    What’s sad, is I understand those thoughts.

  4. Muse says:

    We need to all work together and help each other to get stronger. Healthier. We must make this the new “cool”. We must normalize recovery, together. All of us. I don’t care what forum, what blogging community, where ever you are. Just make it your daily focus to be positive, to help others, and to above all help yourself. (If you don’t make your own recovery process real, you won’t expect it to be real from anyone else.) If we all become a culture of encouragement rather than allowing others to passively self-destruct, the world will change. This is what will make recovery meaningful for all – working together to build a new movement based on love, help, support and health. Ethics above aesthetics!!

    Muse

  5. fracas says:

    Mama, this is so sad. I’m so sorry for the families.

    Danyel, do you have people you can talk to? Please keep coming back here. Mama cares, trust her.

    I’m going to visit your blog now. Please feel free to make mine a place you can visit too.

  6. Danyel says:

    Fracas, no worries- I’m not suicidal by any means. And, don’t worry- I will keep coming back. mamaV is amazing. And, I don’t have people that I can talk to in person because for the past 6 months or more people have thought I grew out of the “phase” I was in. But- I just grew ashamed and did things a little different. So- I can’t talk to anyone in person because I don’t want the extra attention. So, this is really my only means of… support & comfort. Thanks for replying.

  7. bri says:

    I am so terrified. Because I know that I am heading there again….towards death….towards wasting away….and i can’t bring myself to tell anyone in my life. My mother would hate me. She has always told me that this “anorexia business” is selfish, and i need to start living my life. but if it were that simple, i would. i just want this hell to end. and i am scared of what i would do to make it end.

    i want SOOO much out of life…i knwo i could make a difference, but the distance between the “future” happy me and this hollow person i am now just seems too vast.

    i feel like i am too much. too big, too heavy, too burdened, too laden down with self-harted and confusion to float through life as an innocent. too shameful. too ugly. too hurt to recover.

    like i am damaged goods.

    like maybe i would cause less pain if i were gone?

    a poem i wrote a few months ago:

    take me
    twist me
    bend me to your will
    send sweet tears
    raining
    rushing to meet death
    slipping along their bitter path
    over my stomach
    over my bones
    as i fall
    in blackness
    to the earth
    humbled
    in your iron fist
    in your soft embrace

    about this trap. this ed that has so ensnared me…and i can’t seem to get loose.

  8. mamavision says:

    Hi Bri: Thank you for posting such a heart felt, honest post. Oh how you are struggling, your pain exudes through your post.

    First and foremost, I feel compleled to say your mother is the selfish one. For a mother to look her own daughter in the eye and say “I won’t help you,” is just so very sad for you.

    You state that you can’t talk to your mother, because she would hate you. Why would she hate you, because she doesn’t believe this is a real problem, correct? What if you tried to educate her, or if someone else tried to?

    Perhaps if she understand the true depths of this disease she would realize you need her more than ever, and if she doesn’t come your our aid, NOW, she may not ever have a chance too.

    Please write back, I will wait to hear from you and if you would like to speak privately please send your email address.

    Take care,
    mamaV
    xoxo

  9. bri says:

    people have tried to educate her. i think her refusal to see this as an actual problem has something to do with the fact that her mother committed suicide 3 years ago. adn she and i were very close and very much alike. so maybe she feels that if i am like her, and i DO have a problem, i will end up like her?

    the thing is, i know that if she can’t find it in herself to support me or i can’t find it in myself to get help WITHOUT her support….i might end up like gramma. i’m not saying i would commit suicide, but that this disease would consume me. it already has eaten so much of me and my life.

    my email is bria_date@yahoo.com if you want to email me.

    bri

  10. RUS*tnMe says:

    My GF got MS 6 months before she finished her masters. Now 2 years later she cannot do anything without help. Her family bailed and I am stuck with no help. I have lost everything as has she thru no fault of our own.

    Hopefully you can get a dreaded disease thru no fault of your own so you’ll really know what it feels like.

    You’ve done this too yourself, get over it or go die like someone in a concentration camp.

    I have no pity for your B.S. and the things your putting everyone thru because you can’t screw your head on right, dumbass.

    You do realize we only get one ride, right ? If you don’t like it don’t f*ck it up for anyone else.

  11. Jamie says:

    RUS*tnMe,
    A lot of people feel the same way you do about eating disorders and thats one of the many reasons why I have never told anyone about it. I know there are way too many illnesses out there like cancer, what my mom had, that people have that didn’t do it to themselves. It doesn’t mean that an eating disorder isn’t serious though. But, your right, I am doing this to myself so why should I even be given the chance to live?

  12. digearth says:

    My sister died 11/15/2007. I feel guilty that I couldn’t find the treatment she needed but what she needed was to EAT AND NOT THROW UP. I watched as they feed her nutrients in a tube. I watch her stomach distend like a staving third world child. I watched her as they suctioned the bile out of her belly when her innards stopped functioning. I watched her hands and feet curl up into useless rigid claws. I watched her die.

    you are already dying.

    dig.

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