Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

A Swedish department store has had the gall to display a real sized female mannequin, and already the Today show is reporting controversy on the appropriateness of this image.

At left we have the “regular” sized mannequin, at left is the supposed “plus sized”  version. My take is the plus sized version is going to make many of you reading this post feel FAT because your body is (yikes) bigger that that one!

No worries, you are in the same category at the famed, admired and lusted after Kim K, J. Lo., Christina Aguilera, Pink — so here is some pics for inspiration to keep being YOU.

The power of this anti-bullying poem spoken word is unreal.

I nabbed the Fall Fashion Issue of Harpers Bazaar from the gym this morning. This mag spoke to me. I haven’t had a fashion magazine speak to me in like 20 years — so I gotta say it was a moment.

As I thumbed through the glossy ads, I was able to actually see art. I saw past the ugly modeling world that has haunted me since my twenties, and actually took pleasure in the incredible images for clothing primped on odd looking girls painted like ghosts with blank stares into nowhere.

It was Gwen Stefani peeking at me from the cover that told me to pick the thing up and sure enough her layout inside rocked it like she always does. She tells of the first time she put on red lipstick and said to herself, “Yeah, that’s the shit right there.” My mind said “that’s cool.” Quite a victory for a person who once shunned all makeup in favor of a baseball hat, pony tail and pasty white complexion to send the eyeballs elsewhere.

My girl Gracie is the other part of this equation — I always tell her she “brought the girl back in me.” She’s a total clothes horse raiding my closet with more frequency. Our jewelry has morped into a mutual stash, and I’m always hunting for the polish remover, or body spray, or my fave brush. I’m having fun telling her modeling tricks of the trade when it comes to making outfits work, putting on makeup, or caring for our skin (proactive is the greatest product on earth, take it from this 43 year old former zit face, its magic).

So there you have it, the feel good post of the year. Wow, have I evolved to a place that I never imagined would be possible so many years ago when I was drowning in the ED pits.

mamaV

If you’ve never suffered an eating disorder, you’ll think this woman is nuts.

If you know someone who has an eating disorder, you’ll have a renewed disgust for them.

If you, yourself, have an eating disorder, this is your mirror.

May you see yourself with the strength of this woman to let it all fly in the middle of the street because she knows she needs to do this to keep the monster away.  Just like me.

But I can see the truth in her eyes. She is still fat to the world and to herself. And I am not sure I believe there is a cure. We can hope, we can try, we can beg, but this is the world we live in so we can’t run from ourselves no matter how much passion we put behind it.

Our only hope is to surround ourselves with those who see through it, to the real us. I speak of those who need the exact same in return.

But we still have to return home to our own reflections. Our own thoughts. Our own body standards. And the thoughts don’t really ever stop although we claim they do.

Not even Lady Gaga can escape…but I am willing to watch her try.

Looking to loose weight before the big day? A feeding tube – of course!

Just tell ole’ doc you want the K-E diet trick, and in the tube goes, and off come the pounds.

I’ve said since day one that our society is creating eating disorders, I am not sure there is another such blatant example of proof.  The fact that a woman would even dream this up is totally pathetic, and so ignorant it pains me. The lack of empathy and understanding for what a “real” ED is unreal. Further, the press is so coy in their reporting of such tragedies tangling up the headlines stating woman are “resorting” to this treatment – when in actuality if there weren’t such nutcase doctors collaborating on the ideas there would be no story to report on. And yes, by my writing about it, more women are going to do it.

In this case, its some dude named Dr. Di Pietro is proud to placing his name on the procedure. Here’s what the genius has to say according to the New York Times (who dubbed this story “The Hunger Games”);

“At first I decided not to do it for people who just want to lose a few pounds,” Dr. Di Pietro said. “But then I thought, why should I say 5 or 10 pounds are not enough? People want to be perfect.”

What exactly IS perfect Dr. P? Do you determine this or does your patient? Have you ever met a woman who actually reached her imaginary perfection? How about a woman who dropped over on you because you gave her such an unnecessary, vain, treatment? It’s only a matter of time as far as I am concerned.

Here’s Dr. P’s very strict requirements to be eligible for tube feeding pre-wedding:

1) Cough up $1,500 cash for the 10 day treatment. For this he does includes a screening and the equipment (I wonder what the screening is? Fog a mirror and have a detectable heartbeat?)

2) Feel confident enough to wear the tube in public.

“People think I’m sick, I’m dying,” said Ms. Schnaider, a watch wholesaler in Miami. She refrained from going into her daughters’ school. “The children, they would be scared,” she said.

How intuitive of you Ms Schnaider. I am sure your daughter will have no ill effects seeing her mother prance around with a feeding tube while jumping on the scale each morning in delight as another pound falls off your already trim frame (this poor, innocent, child is basically scarred for life, can you even imagine a child seeing their parent in this “chosen” condition).

See Ms. Schnaider in this video and you’ll see the size and shape of her body that just had to be 10 pounds lighter for her wedding day.

The fact that we make a complete and total joke out of eating disorders is unacceptable, and in this case, what about individuals that have true health conditions that require them to be feed by tube? What are we saying to them — “Wow, that looks fun! Great way to loose weight huh!” Haven’t these people suffered enough?

We are a sick, sick country. And personally, I am so damn sick of it.

mV

XO

*The term “anorexic” is one utilized by the general public therefore I have used it in the headline for it to be understood. The correct terminology is “anorectic”

Gaga launched her foundation at Harvard today, you need to watch this video, its so inspiring — this means CHANGE!

Every morning my family crunches in our bed and wakes up to the Today show. When its not about murder and mayhem, its generally some disturbing story about teens bullying the crap out of each other,  boys jumping on the eating disorder bandwagon, and now — girls asking “Am I pretty?” — on YouTube no less.

During many of these stories, I rant about how I am going to blog about the topic (which I rarely do since my day gets away from me and I forget about my outrage).  But this one stuck. It’s not going anywhere but here.

I cringed as I watched a few of these videos (turns out there are loads of them).  Take a look at this one from WickedLemons1 and then we’ll talk about all the ways that this is not the way to go about gaining approval from your peers;

Is it over? Was that painful, or was that painful? 

Did you see yourself in there?

Did you have the stomach to look at the comments WickedLemons1 is getting since this morning? Don’t bother. I’ll tell you what they say, without even looking, since when you launch a question like this (let alone any video out to the universe) you are asking for it, big time;

Honey, you are gorgeous. God made you perfect. Love yourself! XOXO

Bebe, you are HOT — what’s your numba?

Well, you are PRETTY UGLY actually.

What the !@#$%^*& is your problem. Get a life. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. I’m sick of white bitches whining………..”

Am I right? Of course I am.

So let’s get to the real question — why would anyone, regardless of age, color, class or creed think this is a good idea? What gets into the mind of a teen that decides to get all dolled up and ask if they are pretty or not? What are they expecting?

In this case, I believe WickedLemons knows she is pretty and she just wants to be validated. Not a crime.

I guess its the need for attention and validation that just kills me. One thing my teenage life gave me was a crystal clear perspective on the reality of the world. When you are tall, blond, skinny and a model  – the girls hate you, the guys love you. You’d think that would be fun, but it actually sucks because its fleeting, and fake, not to mention degrading. Yet all I see is young women (or I should say most women) flaunting themselves for the wrong kind of attention.

We just got cable (seriously, last family on earth to cave for it) and I suffered through an eposide of The Housewives of Orange County. What an embarrassment to the female population. I mean seriously, a gang of stretched faced bleached blondes cock-tailing way the hell too much, married for money, and obsessed with one thing and only one thing – themselves.

This life is pathetic so let’s just make one reality show after another featuring these freaks so we all become brainwashed to the point of no return that life priorities are in this order:

1) me

2) me

3 and me.

Don’t be one of those girls. Don’t walk with WickedLemon1 either (sorry kid – truth hurts, delete the damn video NOW before it haunts you forever). Look in the mirror, focus on what you have been GIVEN (like health for example may be a nice start since it is the biggest blessing you have and trust me you will miss it when it is gone). Figure out your passion. Focus on your SKILLS. Be a person not a damn manniquen that gets used, abused, and tossed in the trash.

You are here for a reason. Figure out what the reason is and throw your heart and soul into it. I guarantee you will be happier with this lifestyle, than sitting in your cold, dark, lonely bedroom asking perfect strangers to rate you on beauty scale.

Gotta say I get sick of writing about this crap. But its never ending.

Ok so Demi collapses. Big surprise seeing that she is a skeleton (not attractive). I can’t help but feel so sad for her. She just looks so damn sad. Thin as a rail, rumors of prescription drugs on top of it, and just —a lost soul. A lost soul with the whole world stalking her.

There’s no reason in the world for Demi to be lost. She’s got “it all.” Is it only me who finds it ironic that she had to drop out of a film in which she would be Gloria Steinem? 49 and beside herself. If she is beside herself, what hope is there for us?

So SJP swoops in to save the day. Is she any better? I hope so. I really hope so, she’s a mom for godsake (but so is Demi and that’s not stopping her self pity).

I’m 42 and I see the games aging plays. I’m not going to pretend its easy. But it’s just a facade. Why can’t we see beyond this life?

Trust me I pray, and I pray that I will beat it. I won’t be one of those pathetic stretched faced broads carrying on like a frozen alien face is normal. I’ll just deal with the natural path of things. I’ll use night cream from ALDI. I’ll say wise things. I’ll be happy, and smart, and content. I won’t think about how people are saying “she’s aging well.” I’ll blow off all that crap and live life, fingers crossed.

One thing is for sure. I don’t want to look like Demi — she is the picture of fear to me. Fear of life, fear of time, fear of just everything. And she is stuck, she’s got no choice but to live it, so pop some pills and forget about it all….

But you know, you gotta wake up in the morning. You’ve got to put one foot in front of the other just like the rest of us, and God’s got a plan for you. There’s a purpose. And that purpose is not sitting around worrying that the big 30, or 40, or 50, 0r 60, or 70 is around the corner.

That’s enough depressing talk for the evening.

Good night and good luck -

mv XOXO

—-

Hi mamaV,

I have recently come across this website and was going to post in the forum but im not sure in ready for the public yet! However I really needed to tell someone how im feeling right now even if they dont respond and something inside tells me that you ‘will get it’.

I have struggled with bulimia since I was 18 and I guess you could say I am still in ‘recovery’. I have just turned 25 and am really trying to understand the way I feel right now and working out if it is normal.

Ok.. so Im at the stage where I am in the normal weight range and I no longer binge or purge on a daily basis. I do on occasion but only if I really feel it is needed. I eat and maintain my weight because I know its the right thing to do but inside I feel more miserable than ever! Its strange because people seem to think that if you are a certain weight then you must be fine but I can’t seem to stop the way my brain thinks.

(more…)

I can’t get enough of Lady Gaga; A Very Gaga Thanksgiving had me balling, then I happened to catch the Monster Ball concert last night, which led me to this post.

Lady Gaga has just launched an Anti-Bullying Foundation Born This Way and she is working to make bullying a hate crime (which will change criminal punishment for offenses).

What a nobel cause. And she’s so real about it; the video below is directed at a high school student council president who had sought help with an anti-bullying assembly he was hosting. Full story here.

Join Born This Way Foundation, tweet it, Facebook it, spread it — this is enough if intolerance. This is enough of kids being KILLED for being ‘different,’ –what kind of country are we anyway??

We are a country where a beautiful, young boy takes his own life over bullying; yet recorded this heartfelt video titled “It does get better, I promise!…sometimes all of this is too much.

mV

XO

—

Miley's Twitter reaction to the fat attack

Hannah Montana has grown up to be a wonderful young woman, with beautiful curves and a flowing mane — but what do we see?

FAT

Yep, just another fat ass, just like Demi Lovato who ended up getting (successful) treatment thank God.

I hope and pray both of these brave women will stand up and fight, and keep fighting, not breaking down to the pressure to be something that does not exist. The challenge has got to be completely overwehlming since at the end of the day its just…

YOU

and the

MIRROR

And we all know the mirror lies as we are criticized. A day can start out all bright and sunny, only to
turn ugly, fat and gross due to a sly comment from some irrelevant bastard. Your body has not changed, your mind has, but somehow you convince yourself the bastard was right. Your thighs are disgusting. Your arms? Kinda big, no? And your stomach, from the side, is a lot pudgier than 7 hours earlier, really sticking out, you look kinda pregnant actually. Out comes the evil scale that proves your thoughts, the number WAY higher than it “should” be.

And there the downward cycle goes, eventually into the toilet where you upchuck after breaking your fast out of pure desperation, leaving you feeling like the big – fat- loser that you are.

Let’s watch (and pray) Miley proves them all wrong. Pray she withstands all the naysayers trying to bring her down, giving her strength to strap on her boxing gloves to keep posting pictures of Marilyn so she becomes the new “norm.”

What a world that would be.

mV

XO

I got home from a business trip at 1am, and went in to snuggle up with my 8 year old son before heading to bed. As I left the room, I noticed he had tacked these “RULES” on his door, and I had to share.

I’m thinking I am adopting these rules in my life as well….if only life was that easy.

mamaV

XOXO

Crap, I’ve had a hellava couple months so hope you are in the mood for a rant.

Diagnosed with mono (again). I mean, come on — I am 42 years old (total grandma to most of you I know, plus its not like I am making out with some dude behind the bleachers — happily married soon to be 15 years!)

Anyway, I’ve been through a battery of tests. Everything normal. Actually, perfectly normal. I am healthy as a horse, except for this mono mystery virus that keeps pulling me down every few years. Needless to say, this doesn’t feel normal to me, I can’t help thinking there is something more behind it you know?

In case you don’t know mono is caused by the Epstein Barr virus. Basically, you have to have it in order to be diagnosed officially with mono. Same deal with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or CFS.  I don’t know about you, but CFS is the last label I want slapped on me. I don’t feel like carrying that ball and chain around the rest of my life. Plus, in the US of A,  CFS, just like Fibromyalgia are in our societies crock o’ shit diseases category.

Its in our head.

Lady, seriously, see the psych already.

Have you tried caffeine?

All statements that have been said directly to my face by arrogant doctors, including a kiddish resident that called me ma’am. I called him dude. Tit for tat.

So in the cyclone of these doctor appointments I catch a glimpse of my online chart which states I have a “mood problem.”

Seriously, a mood problem.

Those of you who know me know that anxiety is one of those old friends I have tried to ditch my entire life but failed. So, I resorted to medicine, prescribed by a highly skilled psychiatrist whom I respect very much. Meds that literally changed my life, allowed me to read, concentrate, be a better mother, perform better at my job, and basically be a real person. The little cocktail of pills that I wish to God I had known about way back in my teenage years.

But to the kid, to the oh-so-wise resident doctor, this medicine is basically for total losers. Plus, my prescribed dosage is WAYY the hell to high, in fact he is shocked because he has never, ever seen a patient taking these dosages of psych drugs (which is not saying much since I think I was his first patient EVER).

But still, his words sting.  I know you know what I mean. 

Here’s the point, we’ve got to blow off all the people that regard mental illness as some sort of weakness. Its all in our head, we are all mad. Might as well bring back the sanitariums and shock treatments to get these crazed people under control already. To this day, I struggle with this, but ultimately I come out on top.

In this situation (you’ll get a kick out of this), I listened to the kid rattle on with his ball of crap philosophy, asking me questions like

“What do you have to be so anxious about? So you just hang your hat on believing anxiety is genetic?” In the next breath, he went on to tell me there is simply NO WAY I have mono. After all, I don’t look sick. He tells me how people with mono can barely walk, and me? I look perfectly healthy.

I insist on the test anyway. He acts pissed but runs it. I ditch out of the office before getting the results because I’ve had my fill of this dude.

Mono tests come back positive.

The guy is a genius! I wonder what his face looked like when he saw those test results…man I wish  would have stayed around for that.

So here I sit. Resting. Resting. Resting. And thinking about how glad I am ME and not HIM. Thinking about how proud I am that I express these things here in the hopes that one of you may relate and feel just a little bit better about yourself.

You are not nuts. They are. Save yourself a lot of heartache and trust me.

Love,

mV

XOXO

“I’m to pretty to do homework, so my brother does it for me.”

This is the tagline sprawled on a “back to school” t-shirt for girls sold at JCPenney. No, I’m serious, this is a real shirt sold in the United States of America in 2011.

I mean seriously people, WTF is wrong with this country?

Who in the hell comes up with this crap? Was it a man or woman? A mother perhaps? And then, who were the JcPenney BUYERS that went for it. What about the stock people that put it out on the shelves. They only all caved due to pressure from the almighty Twitterverse (us, a band of users who cry holy hell until they give)

And finally, I would LOVE to see the parent and/or grandparent who actually purchased this offensive rag. There’s got to be a handful of girls who strutted into school this week, hair all curled up, makeup slathered on, booty shakin’ just the way mama taught her.

How cute and sassy.

Oh, and here is another one that has not been pulled. I guess it’s not offensive enough. 

This really, really bugs me guys. It’s probably because my daughter is 11 years old, and she is so awesome. The kid just amazes me, and it scares me to think about girls who have demented mothers or fathers who would purchase this shirt and allow their dear child to wear it. How would my girl feel about herself if she didn’t have a mom that is always making her aware of how screwed up fashion and media is? Would she be a different person than she is today?

I remember thinking that maybe because I am so passionate about these topics that I would screw her up by talking about it too much, or saying the wrong thing, or exposing her to stuff she is too young to understand. No worries on that, not a one. The key is talking, being open, making all of this a regular part of life conversation — and, without a doubt, being a shining example. An example of how to dress, act, be, believe, think, breathe and see the world.

Many of you ask me “don’t you sometimes just want to give up on all this?” — I always say “No, never, it’s not hopeless, change is coming slowly,” but today, right now, I feel like we are taking gigantic steps backwards into the sewer and the vast majority of girls have zero chance of turning out healthy and happy because the reality is that society doesn’t respect them. Society sure as hell doesn’t respect women as a whole.

Man we’ve go a long way to go girls,

mV

Please sign the petition to remove this lovely shirt from Zazzle telling girls “It’s better to look good than to feel good.”  Yet another example of societies insanity.

Actually, not really.

Found this lovely pic on BoingBoing, creepy headless mannequins at Gap. Saggy leggings on anorexic frames. “Always Skinny” branding makes this even more sick.

How exactly are we supposed to be normal with this influence in our face 24/7?

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