Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

Saw this one coming a mile away. Particularly since Kate, The Dutchess of Cambridge, seems to be shrinking by the day (let’s hope its stress).  Turns our the Pro-anas are all over the sisters, glomming on to them as their fresh new “thinspo” material (at least that is what the media is shrieking).

How grand.

Odd thing is I searched for 15 minutes before writing this post for a video, proana site, or thinspo crap channel and I could not find ONE thing stated, noted, or expressed about Kate and Pippa.

So is this one hype or the typical situation of the media planting seeds for our dear proana community to glom on to? Either way, does it even matter at this point? Does anyone even care that there are MILLIONS of girls out there touting “Anorexia as a lifestyle.”

I found that answer many, many years ago – five to be exact, and the answer is a big fat NO. This culture is instead very interested in sensationalizing the whole thing, or of course banding together to “SHUT THE PRO ANA SITES DOWN.” Oh, yeah, that’s gonna do it. It takes what…five minutes to put up a new site or Facebook page?

We need to face this head on. We need to face the fact that every woman on the planet would like to be as thin as Kate and Pippa. Most actually spend the vast majority of their time longing to look like a waif. This is nothing new, and its no where near getting better, so what to do?

For me, I just need to rant about it a bit and get it out of my system, then I can move on with my day. How about you?

mV

A dear friend of mine sent me this song that you need to hear. This singer has struggled our struggles and she no doubt expresses it in this tune “Control.”

If only we could let it go, you know? It’s like we can gain glimpses of it, but then we slip back into our patterns of incessant worry over all the things that might happen, could be happening, will occur (even when 99% of it never does).

This is why I believe it is essential to surround yourself with people, music, images, and family who “get it” and who make you feel optimistic about yourself and life.

Have a listen, or two, or twenty — and keep your head screwed on straight today.

Lyrics: CONTROL
words and music by Dave and JJ Heller

The cut is deep, but never deep enough for me
It doesn’t hurt enough to make me forget
One moment of relief is never long enough
To keep the voices in my head
From stealing my peace

(more…)

Not all — but a large population of today’s eating disorders stem from our societies focus on body image and weight.

Let’s face it — our society is nuts.

We accept the fact that “Plus-Sized” models are now size 8-16. We accept the fact that magazines airbrush the living crap out of every single image of women within their pages yet we hold ourselves up to that standard. We accept the fact that kids as young as 4 are dieting (yes that is a f-o-u-r). We accept the fact that more lives are lost because of eating disorders than any other mental illness but God forbid we fork over the $ to treat sufferers. We accept the fact that Pro-Anorexia is a lifestyle that has infiltrated every corner of the web and our solution is to “Shut down those sites!” We accept the fact that dieting moms push their issues on their daughters. We accept the fact that sports require restricting food and water for weight requirements and pure vanity. We accept the fact that fat chat is a daily event that takes place in front of our children with listening ears.

But then we sit and wonder;

What’s wrong with our children? Why are they not happy? Why are they cutting? Why is there so much bullying? Why did that child commit suicide?

It all comes as a shock when you don’t open your eyes and walk around this insane planet for one day and notice how totally destructive our society is to our self image and body image.

Do it — I double dare you. Watch prime-time TV tonight. Google the word “thinspiration.” Open a fashion magazine, pick one, anyone and see the walking dead who are hailed the closest thing to perfect that we’ve ever seen. Browse this list of dead women consumed by their disease. Look at the athletes lost who were more dedicated to their sport than their lives. Take a stroll into Victoria Secret at the mall (actually you don’t even need to step inside since the massive promotional images on the outside of the store include a woman’s ass in a lace thong which is so appropriate).

Then go about your lovely little day. Concerned about your lovely little problems. While your children stick their fingers down their throats within earshot while you pretend to not notice. A burden you say. A frickin burden.

mamaV

XOXOXOXOX

**Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, psychiatrist, therapist or counselor. I am however a woman who has recovered (fully) from her eating disorder and I have been blogging on this topic since 2006 which stands for something. Qualified to make these statements? No. Making them anyway? Yes. Ranking like a lunatic? Absolutely.

Thanks to SS for keeping me abreast of this story over the past week. I contemplated writing about this dude, but didn’t because I figured it was a waste of breath, and less publicity would make him go away faster. But todays turn of events just made this story worth my time.

Kenneth Tong, wearing what appears to be a Rosary around his neck (either that or a pearl necklace which may be a fashion statement) spent the last week firing up the Twitter-sphere with a “hoax” pro-anorexia site or as he likes to call it ‘managed anorexia.”

Tong claims the site was simply a bet. A bet with a friend to try and become a “trending topic” on Twitter in less than a week (because he loves a challenge!) Tong figured the topic “pro-anorexia” would do the trick, so he started tweeting deranged commentary that unfortunately most of us are quite used to such as;

“”To be thinner, skip dinner. Anorexia is not evil, it is an often mismanaged blessing. Yadda, yadda, yadda”

Sorry gang, but in my world, what is the big deal? Proanorexia sites are EVERYWHERE. I have been screaming this from the rooftops for, let’s see, 5 years now and for some reason this dude awoke the masses to this topic. I guess I need to make it a joke for anyone to pay attention. In a sense, I guess I am glad this is happening because maybe some parents will start googling proana and thinspo to get a seriously painful reality check.

Ok, now I am fired up.

(more…)

I am saddened and amazed that no matter what I write about, my web statistics on this blog and my collective body image blog WeAreTheRealDeal.com show that the Number #1 search term is…..

PRO ANA

And variations of Pro Ana as you can see below. WTF? (Of course the beloved Nicole still pops up).

So, since this tells me many proana girls are here, let’s have a chat. It’s been awhile. For those of you that are new, like those I connected with on Twitter recently, here’s the brief history about this blog 2006-present:

-Started this blog to talk about how shitty the modeling industry is, and try to knock some sense into the girls chasing the proana dream.

-Got really, really pissed off over ANTM show, and blew my stack on my first youtube video (most asked question about my vlogs? Why am I in my car? Here’s the answer for the curious).

-Proceeded to stalk  emerse myself in the proana online culture to really, really get a true sense of what was happening “out there.” News articles either skimmed the surface or exploited the whole trend, so I wanted to dig in.

-My plan was to educate parents, but the blog itself dictated its path (those of you who are bloggers will understand this, blogs are best when you let them go the way the wind blows).  But I found the site community was mostly girls and young women. Hmm…. I thought. I’ve tapped into something here.

-With that revelation, I instead focused on trying to be a voice of reason for pro ana girls (and women, moms,  TV anchors, teachers …….yes I have been contacted by ALL of the above either for advice, or for requests to pull their picture off my site before they lose their job.

-Plus, I figure; why go after the parents to educate when you are all old enough and smart enough to figure out if you want to live a real life, or go down in proana flames of hell. Right?

-I got fired up, continually wrote posts based on my observation, and to date these two posts get the most traffic (again, not in my plan but reality bites);

Pro Ana Privacy part 1 / Pro Ana Privacy part 2

This  post is read obsessvely, obviously because I posted a bunch of public pictures from ProAna websites and everyone freaked (no I never, ever trolled or faked to be a member to grab images — these were on the public web, unmoderated, and free for the taking).

The lesson? This is the  world wide web kids — you take a picture of yourself in your undies in your bathroom, slap it online for your proana friends to stroke your self-confidence, and BAM–next thing you know some whack job mom blogger has it splashed all over the place).

Internet Suicide

Before Twitter, and still today I guess, Pro Ana Live Journal was the place to be if you wanted to talk about your crisis over eating half an Oreo and three extra celery sticks. PALJ have had all sorts of mods over the years, some completely out of their minds, others teaching the CR lifestyle, and a few with actual good intentions of being a source of “help” for those with anorexia.

But at the end of the day, this shit kills.

Image Credit: http://thekristiproject.webs.com/

Enter Kristi Lanford. A moderator who decided to document the end of her life online. Scary part was and is, many of us watched it happen — live. I never, ever want to experience something like this again. I hope you will read the last moments of her life here, perhaps Kristi will now save a few lives by taking her own. As you will read, Kristi was depressed, drinking, pill popping, and watching Skinny Celebrities as she went off to hopefully a new better place. An online memorial for Kristi was created by her friend “K” and can be viewed here. In K’s words, here is how Kristi’s passing impacted her;

On January 27th, 2007, Kristi took her own life, choosing to document the final moments of her life. There was shock, followed by sadness, followed by anger, followed by guilt, followed by emotions that I never wanted to feel; emotions that I didn’t know existed. There were moments where I beat myself up for not signing online sooner, not calling her just to check up on her, not doing something that could have saved her life. I, like so many others, regret not reaching out to help her more. It takes time to let those feelings go, it takes time to let the death of someone that you love so much go. 

So there you have it – Pro Ana, the lifestyle!*

Somehow, somewhere, I became the resident expert on proanorexia as it pertains to the internet usage, history, sites, language, etc. I’ll take that title. At least I know that while I post triggering thinspo — I also have got you where I want you, and that is listening to one voice — at least one voice that may in fact instead “trigger” your common sense.

My hope is that it saves your life.
-mamaV

*Kristi’s friends have been adamant that she was not “pro ana.” I have a different opinion on where Kristi was in her head, mostly based upon the way she died, so I wanted to point out this important detail out of respect for K and her other friends. 

Sorry, but the Ana-Rexia Costume you wanted is out of stock!

READ MORE HERE….

WARNING: THIS POST ABOUT TRIGGER MAY BE A TRIGGER.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0-MGTaPs58]

Video commentary on the Faces of Pro Ana saga that occured over the weekend. Videos are a bit choppy, but I am busy as heck and I wanted to get these posted.

 [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKodYgNRCWk]

Part 2 (camera died on me!)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3u0Mi6NTMU]

 Looking forward to your response,

-mamaV

I thought I’d help Josie drive some traffic to her cute, little post on My Pro Ana Hero!

This is my ~ThInSpIrAtIoN~

That’s me by the way, 21, skinny and miserable, sent to Miami by my NY agent to shoot with some pervert photographer. I ate nothing for 3 days until my self discipline broke and I mowed down a box of Total cereal, then hit the pool for a marathon swim. Good times.

Hey, I feel that spark coming back!

Look out Josie!

-mamaV

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=uJyHFl1ox8U]

Tipster Izzy directed to me to Faces of Pro Ana  (fixed the link it works now). I guess I am not the only one swiping images of Pro Ana girls on public web sites and displaying them to make a point.

I personally think this one holding the skull is particularly creative.

Sunday 3/30 1:30pm picture removed per request of individual shown. 

Can this get anymore psycho? Or is today’s youth so bored that they cling on to some grim reality for the shock factor?

Honestly, this is getting so tired. I didn’t think I would ever say this, but after nearly two years of blogging on this topic I have no idea why I am doing this. 

-mamaV

**Excerpt from The Hip Bone Handbook, how to be anorexic.

I started blogging back in 2006. What started as a total whim, has grown to be a part of me. The girls of my blog community created the nickname “mamaV” and quickly took hold of my heart. The vast majority of these young women find my blog while they secretly search for pro-anorexia online.

Pro-Anorexia?

The thought of Anorexia, as a lifestyle, is so totally preposterous, I have a hard time saying it myself. Most adults are dumbfounded by the topic, as I was when I first caught wind of it.

This is not some random, underground culture. A simple search for the term on Google returns over a million pages of starvation driven content. We are talking deliberate, active, starvation here.

Pro-anorexia, a.k.a. ”pro-ana or wannarexia,”  preys on the weak, the young, the insecure. The more the pro-ana lifestyle takes hold of a young mind, followers actually start to refer to “Ana,” their fictionary god who serves to justify their actions.

This topic is ugly and disturbing.

Do not turn away and leave this one for someone else to deal with, it ain’t going away.

These are OUR girls.

You can address this issue head on, in your everyday life, through the interactions of every young person you are in contact with. You need to be aware of what is going on in the minds of young people today, in order to recognize the deadly habits of a pro-anorexic individual, perhaps even save a precious life before it is sucked into the pro-ana culture.

THIN equals beauty in this society.

We are raising a generation of of young women who would rather die, than be one of the ugly ones.

Life goals are not to be smart, or happy, or strong.

Thin is it. And it’s pathetic.

I can’t sit here, silent, when we have healthy, young, capable lives being pissed away while they are busy collaborating online on how to starve themselves to death.

Can you?

-mamaV

Here’s a “Dear Abbey” of sorts. I received this email today, name and location has been changed to protect privacy. I figured this community would give some interesting advice.

The story is all too familiar…

Hello mamaVISION,

My name is Zoe i am 17 years old and weigh a healthy 13
stone. I was walking around a fashion show which was being held in my
local area, when i was spotted by Storm models the very same people
who manage Kate Moss.

They asked me if i was interested in modeling and i immediately said
yes to them. I was asked to go downtown the very next day to
meet a photographer who would take some photos for a portfolio.

This was all fine until two months afterwards, i was told to lose 3
stone so i was 10 stone! That would make me have a BMI of 18.0 which i
do not think is healthy. I am now on a diet of 270 calories each day
and have collapsed twice in the last four days. I am not sure what to
do, because they are relying on me to do fashion week!

I feel trapped, and was handed some laxatives by a fellow model what
should i do?

Dear ZT:  

You, and only you can make this decision. If you want to be a model, you need to follow the rules. All of which are quite clear.

I have never been one to tell others what to do when it comes to modeling, its a personal choice. I do try to forewarn others what they are getting into with the fashion industry, and fortunately for you Zoe, you have discovered the facts early in the game.

Ask yourself this question: 

How will you feel if you walk away from this opportunity?

When I was asked this question at 16, I said:

I’ll wonder my whole life what I could have done.

I wanted it. I wanted to be a model. I wanted the excitement, the attention, and really it was a blessing in disguise for me. Crap, I barely got out alive, but still would not change a thing.

Zoe, I wish you health and happiness, and I would never encourage anyone to starve. But the reality is, it goes with the territory. Now you need to decide if being a model is worth the pain and suffering.

I encourage you to reach out to your parents, or any other friend or family member that you trust to help you think through this decision. I posted you question here so you can also ponder the thoughts of others.

Take care,

mamaV

This is an image from a Tokyo Fashion Magazine.

Fact or Fiction?

Photoshopped or Real?

Does it really even matter either way?

The fact is it is in print, and therefore it is real. The image exists, and the message is clear, isn’t it girls.

2008 is off to a great frickin’ start.

-mamaV

Taken from: Numéro Tokyo Magazine (February 2008 issue)
Photo: René Habermacher and Jannis Tsipoulanis

Commenter Anne dared me to post about this story so I couldn’t resist. Although I am not sure why this required such a dare, because this story is old news

NEWS FLASH: Stop blaming models, stars, media – blame your genes.

Here’s a brief on what The Times Online article has to say:

Anorexia may be caused by inherited differences in the way a sufferer’s brain operates, leading to obsessive behaviour, according to research. Rather than being triggered by images of super-thin models and celebrities, the eating disorder could be brought on by the in-built way in which the brain responds to pleasure and reward. It has been argued that images of unhealthily thin stars in the media have encouraged anorexic behaviour in impressionable young women. But a study published in The American Journal of Psychiatry suggests that the brains of anorexia sufferers behave differently to those of the rest of the population and that certain people are born with a susceptibility to develop the condition.

Snore….huh? I’m up here’s a brief on my perspective;

Genes can play a role in anorexia, agreed. I wholeheartedly support any and all efforts to provide these anorexia sufferers with treatment for their disease. This blog is not aimed at that audience. I write to a whole other segment of the population. The young girls and women that tune into “Nip and Tuck” and can’t wait for ANTM (if you don’t know what that stands for, good, you are on the right track).

One can not ignore the overwhelming evidence of cultural and societal influence, a few of the best reports on the other side of this story can be read here;

Dove Global Study: print this thing out and read it. It’s sad as hell. For the record, I am beautiful and not afraid to admit it or say it or be it or think it (psst…Dove is owned by Evil Unilever. My vote? Who cares).

More common than Alzheimer’s:yet insurance stinks. 5-10 Million affected by eating disorders in the US alone. Research funding totals a whopping $1.20 per sufferer (we all need another Gucci bag after all).

You’ve got to live in the US of A to get it, but we are a country obsessed. Forget Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll, we Binge, Purge & Lipo 24/7 in this country. There is no way in hell we are going to spend money to actually figure out why we are all eating disordered – it’s a lifestyle babe.

Been there, done that: Fashion Designers control the sizes. The chic sizes are currently 0, and 00. I am waiting for the negative sizes to make their debut (ie. -3, now that would be rad).

1980′s SuperModels

1990 SuperModel…better known now as ”lard ass.”

2000 SuperModel…way the hell too fat for runway now.

2006 SuperModel…rexy figure maintained by coke on the rocks.

2006-2007 SuperModels….dead.

Yep, all in the genes.

-mamaV

I dug my Vogue magazines out of the basement, dated August 1987. You’ll never guess what I found…..

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfZuDDj-pJ8] 

Size 0 is now available in pill form! Just pop one, I mean four, of these little beauties a day and you too can look like a zombie runway model.

This simply fabulous breakthrough secret is contained in a dainty little black box, with the answer to happiness  plastered front and center just in case you forgot that anything above a size zero is, well, eeewwww.

Brought to you by your friendly mall vitamin store GNC, the leaders in converting lard asses nationwide, into “Hot, Radiant, Alluring, Elegant & Beautiful” creatures.

Just a few silly warnings, pay no mind:

Not intended for use by individuals under the age of 18 (but what about my 10 year old daughter who is dieting with me?)

Consult with a physician prior to, during and after use (I’ll get right on that)

If you are taking any prescription medication or have any medical condition (wait, that eliminates 99% of the population) 

If you have been treated for or diagnosed with, or have a family history of, any medical condition including, but not limited to:high blood pressure, heart disease, liver disease, kidney disease, peptic and gastric ulcers, cardiac arrhythmia, renal disease, hyperthyroidism, spasms, glaucoma, psychiatric disease, psychological conditions, anxiety, depression, nervousness, seizure disorder, stroke, angina, diabetes, asthma, suffer from migraines, are allergic to tyramine or chocolate or sensitive to the effects of caffeine (that eliminates the other 1% of us)

Do not take in conjunction with any supplement or over-the-counter drug containing ephedrine alkaloids, caffeine, pseudoephedrine, phenylpropanolamine or any stimulants. One serving of this product contains approximately as much caffeine as two cups of coffee (catch a buzz off the stuff simultaneously, I like it).

Do not use if you have a history of drug use. Do not use with alcohol (I’m out)

Do not use during high intensity activities in high temperature conditions (exercise not allowed.)

Discontinue use and consult a physician immediately if you experience any of the following: nervousness, sleeplessness, dizziness, cardiac irregularities or rapid heart beat, shortness of breath, tremors, nausea, chest pain, tingling sensations, behavioral changes, loss of consciousness, or other similar symptoms (any one still alive?)

NOTE: The product name Size 0 does not depict the amount of weight loss or clothing size goals that will be achieved with use of this product. Individual results will vary depending of body type and fitness goals.

Manufactured Exclusively for Size 0 Labs
3133 Fortune Way Suite #4 (nice address)

Well, since this one won’t do the trick for me, I’ll pop some “clen.”

Never heard of it? Get with the program man, they’ve been vaccinating horses with it for years.

We are one desperate bunch ladies, and I don’t see any light at the end of this tunnel.

mamaV

Pro anorexia sites are running rampant. We must shut them down quickly and swiftly to save society!

Microsoft steps in and shuts down pro anorexia sites, without a court order. YouTube and Facebook are under the microscope too.

What genius is still beating on this dead drum? 

Don’t tell anyone…but it takes about 5 minutes to set up a new site…hehe…the pro ana’s have their sites back up and running before you can blink. 

Even more scary is there is no logic to this madness.  I overuse this phrase, but I like it; nothing like sticking your head in the sand. And since everyone got really fired up the last time I posted this picture, let’s post it again just for shits and giggles. 

A few stats, which are growing as I type this: 

Google “pro ana” to view over 5 million results

YouTube “thinspiration” hauls in well over 5000 full length videos, a total of 8 uploaded TODAY.

ProAnaThinspo is just an unbelieveable mashup of thin bodies, body parts, stars and real girls that will blow your mind.

How about we face reality think about what the hell we have created here.

On second thought, that sounds like a lot of time and energy. Let’s stick with ‘out of sight, out of mind,’ it’s a lot more convenient, plus I have a lot of shit to buy before Christmas.

-mamaV

Since Pro Ana Privacy is the most visited post these days, I figured it was time for another go around. Especially since I can really feel the love in the comments.

For what it’s worth; I heard a story on the radio that I wanted to share.

A talented young woman recently applied for a job just after she graduated from college. A dream job really, everything she ever wanted. Mom and Dad were so proud.

Little did she know that some pictures that she uploaded to the web many years prior would come back to haunt her.

One in a bikini.
Several in her underwear.

One doing a frickin’ back-bend in her undies.

Not good. No job. Worst of all? No way to remove them – ever.

This thing is permanent girls. It’s called the world wide web and once you CHOOSE to serve yourself up for the taking, you are gone, your privacy is gone, and your future opportunities are at stake.

Think about it next time you want to ask one of your dear ana friends “Do I look fat?”

-mamaV