Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

Found this list on Facebook written by Sarah and wanted to share. This just struck me as a really cool idea…add thoughts as they come about and read through them to reinforce positive reality. See list in process here

-Move forward eagerly, while embracing the now.

-I am free to choose to live as I wish and to give priority to my desires.

-Remember that your body only is not you. The sum of who you are is more important than your body.

-I’ll definitely remember who Stephen Hawking is – but not who won Miss Universe’s last contest.

-I am thankful for all the parts of my body that function correctly

-I appreciate all the movements that my body let me perform

-I am thankful for being able to touch, see, smell, hear and taste

-“I don’t ask for more: the sky above me and the path under my feet.”Robert Louis Stevenson

-Our physical body is a key part of our existence.

-I listen to my intuition.

—–

I often wonder just how many people think I’m a bitch. A bitch because I know what I want, I know how I feel, and I don’t let people treat me like crap.

How about you?

My guess is you let people walk all over you. You spend your day worried about what everyone else thinks about you fretting around asking yourself “do they like me? Am I good enough? Am I thin enough? Am I pretty enough?”

To hell with it already. I mean seriously girls, is it working?

(more…)

New album cover for Kelly Clarkson.

Photoshopped to hell.

Artist likes it.

Why?

“We decided the cover of the album and
just in case you haven’t seen it I’ll post it! It’s very colorful and
they have definitely Photoshopped the crap out of me – but I don’t
care, haha!

“Whoever she is, she looks great, ha! I’ve had so much fun with this album; I really hope y’all dig it woohooooooooooo!!!!” - Clarkson's blog

How can you not care?

I wonder what Dove thinks? See Walmart/Dove soundcheck sponsorship

Here's where I am going with this;

Imagine you are going to be featured on the cover of a local magazine. The cover comes out and its not you, its some perfectly-smooth-no-bumps-no-lumps-version of you. Wouldn't you feel weird cruising around town having people see you in real life and think ing"Wow, she doesn't look like that cover? She sure as hell is not as pretty."

Allowing this fake-ery (if that is even a word) is just asking for it. Asking for criticism. Inviting public analysis,. And generally just, well, an unwise move.

I lived this crap and it sucks. As a model, you have these amazing pictures produced  of  yourself. It made me feel like an impostor. The model version becomes your evil twin.  The one everyone thinks you are…but are then disappointed when they see the real you. So; the evil twin had to go.

 

My Evil Twin. Dead as a door nail.

I killed her years ago.

I killed her by going everywhere and anywhere with no makeup. 

I finished her off by letting my body go back to its normal, healthy size.

I wiped her off the face of the earth by letting every single ugly flaw show to the world; zits , cellulite and all.

I said goodbye to the fake me, and I said hello to the real me. The one with perfect imperfections that are mine for life and I wouldn't give them up for anything.

Beauty will always go downhill, so you gotta just enjoy the ride.

-mV

This is part 2 of a post about the book About Face.

I said I would follow up with my story about "what I see in the mirror," but I've got to tell you- this was a rough one. I wrote two totally separate versions; one nice, one angry. I choose to post the nice one, with a few angry jabs stuffed in. Here goes;

Who is this freaky chick?*

Happy-Go-Lucky

I can't remember a time that I looked
in the mirror and I did not like what I see.

 Sure, there was the gangling teeth stage,
the teenage zit phase (which has not ended by the way and I am almost
40 for cripes sake), and the post modeling days when I cruised around
in a black baseball hat and baggy clothes in an effort to keep all
eyes OFF of me so I didn't have to live up to everyone's beauty
expectations.

But all in all, I've never wanted to
change anything about myself.

I am well aware there are way more beautiful
women in the world; those beaming with perfectly
symmetrical faces,
exotic expressions, and sex appeal leaking out of their pores…but I
have never wanted to be someone else.

 Ever.

My nose is kinda crooked, and its
getting bigger with age. We joke my dad that he has a “bulb” at
the end of his nose, just like his mother, and now I see mine growing
slowly but surely. It makes me proud to know, a part of him is now
part of me.

My facial structure is from my mom. I
remember when she came to Paris with me and my agent took one look at
her and said “I see where she gets her high cheekbones from!” My
mom was grinning from ear to ear. We still joke about it, and when
she brings it up kiddingly I say “yeah, yeah….its all because of
you mom.”

My height and big feet are from my
Grandma, the one that walked a bit hunched over, but held her head
up high, and didn't take any shit. She lived in the ghetto of
Milwaukee, the only white women among many black families, who
accepted her as one of their own. She was a firecracker, independent
as hell, as she walked the blocks to the bus daily, and never, ever
got mugged (sure, they tried, but she held on to her pocketbook and
told them to get lost). And the tough little punks ran from the
little old lady, with a glare that could knock you sideways. I'd like
to think I also got my spunk from her.

Image Laura Bell Flickr

My features are now passed on to my
children. A “mini-me” daughter and my blue-eyed-boy that is going
to give me an ulcer when his hormones kick in. They both were lucky
enough to inherit two very distinct features from my husband –
dimples and flat feet, the true sign of a Blessington.

When I ask my parents what I was like
as a child, they smile and say “you were happy-go-lucky.”

I love that saying, perhaps because I
believe it fits me to this day, and now I see the same quality in my
children which makes me so very proud.

What more could you ask for than to be
happy-go-lucky? A free spirit, born to roam, totally immune to
cultural expectations. Free to just be who you were meant to be
without looking back, without questioning, and without the imaginary
stress the masses carry from day to day.

Perhaps the best part of this quality
is that one doesn't care much about how others view them. Not in a
crass, selfish way, but in a realistic world view way.

 Truth be told, I did spend the bulk of
my twenties ashamed of my beauty.

With beauty comes attention.

With attention comes envy.

With envy comes hurt.

With hurt comes shame.

Who is this sad skinny chick?*

I was shamed for my beauty, made to
feel as if I was somehow selfish for it (actually I should say I was
told point blank I was selfish over and over and over and over until
I started to believe it). I spent some time convinced it was true, until I got smart. This ploy is always just a front to
accommodate the nay-sayers insecurities.

So here I sit, approaching 40 years of
age, still that happy-go-lucky girl that my parents admired, doing
nothing more than looking forward to what the next 40 will bring,
paying no mind to the the signs of aging that will continue to creep
across my face and body, because if I have learned anything at all, I
have learned that you can not get the time back.

Who is this happy, cool chick?*

You live with the memories you create,
the destiny you chase, and the legacy you leave.

And I, for one am enjoying the ride.

Your turn,

mamaV

—–

Image Info

Freaky chick is me in NY, perhaps during the one and only photo shoot I enjoyed. Wearing a wig was so fun!

Sad, skinny chick is me in gay Parie' way back when. My mom found these images last weekend, they make me sad because I remember it like it was yesterday.

Happy, cool chick is me, now, 39 and feeling fine!

DeLaVega Site

Smile of the day.

Compliments of Feministing

-mV

I want you all to meet a really cool chick.

Jeanette Fulda, aka PastaQueen, author of Half-Assed, and incognito tech geek has accomplished one hell of a lot in her 27 years.

She stands in her fat pants on the cover of her book, showing her dramatic weight loss of half of herself. Check out her reccomendations if you want to follow in her footsteps and don't miss her video 'How to loose 192 pounds in 7 seconds;"

How to lose 192 pounds in 7 seconds from PastaQueen on Vimeo.

I had the pleasure to meet Jeanette during a blogger get together in Chicago a month or so back, and what struck me immediately about her is how laid back she was, and how comforting her expression was. Jeanette is one of those people that makes you feel comfortable, because she is so comfortable in her own skin.

What also cracked me up about Jeanette is that she had no intention to write a book, the publisher sought her out (damn, now that is raw talent).

Here's some insight on Jeanette's perspective of the world, now standing 5'9 and weighing her perfect size of 180 pounds;

MV: How are your relationships different now?

JF: I am more willing to engage people, make small talk, and try to make a connection with others than I was when I was fat. I used to feel uncomfortable in my body and didn't want people to see me, so I would avoid interacting with others unnecessarily. I'd avoid eye contact and didn't like talking to salesclerks when I was shopping. Otherwise, my relationships with old friends and family members are basically the same. I was somewhat concerned how my relationship might change with a friend of mine who is still obese, but we are still as close as ever. She's happy for me, even though she wishes she could lose weight too.

MV: So this is what we do to fat people in this country- shame them into hiding. Think about this the next time you socialize with an obese individual, why not go out of your way to let them know they are are not being judged in your presence.

MV: How has your personality changed?

JF: Like I said, I'm more outgoing. I used to be so shy I wondered if I had social anxiety disorder, but those people are afraid to go to the grocery store, which was a problem I obviously never had. As I became successful at losing weight I gained confidence in myself. With that success behind me, I became more willing to imagine myself successful in other things. The confidence I gained through weight loss bled into other areas of my life. I was more assertive when job hunting and imagined writing a book and living on my own.

MV: Why did you change your goal weight from 160 to 180?

I pulled the number 160 out of the air because it ended in a zero and it was at the high end of the BMI recommendations for my height. However, after I had maintained a weight of 180 for about a year, I decided that was the weight I was happiest at, even if it technically made me still overweight by the BMI system. It's the weight my body maintains when I am moderately active and eating well 90% of the time. To lose more weight I would have to make my life more uncomfortable than I'm willing to, either via going hungry or exercising more than I'd like to. I think I look good at 180 and my doctor says I'm in excellent health, so I didn't see any benefit to trying to lose more weight.

MV: Read that twice and absorb it for a moment. I am a huge believer that our bodies have a natural weight gauge, and you will basically stay within a 10 pound range as you maintain a healthy, balanced lifestyle. The key here, I think is that Jeanette realized this, and just decided she was happy with herself, and most importantly blew off the damn BMI chart (FYI- According to the BMI chart, Michael Jordan is fat).

MV: What is the meanest thing anyone ever said to you or about you?

JF: I've gotten 3 or 4 blog comments that were rather harsh and I'd rather not repeat. People will be meaner online than they ever would be in real life because they are anonymous and know they won't be held accountable for their actions. That being said, 99.9% of my blog comments are kind, thoughtful and polite. I have to remind myself that comments aren't about me, they're about the person leaving the comment. Comments are shaped my our own experiences. If someone leaves a mean comment or accuses me of having a negative attribute, it usually reflects an insecurity they have about themselves.

MV: What is the most significant difference between being thin vs fat?

JF: The freedom of mobility is the biggest difference. When I was morbidly obese I became exhausted walking half a mile from a concert to the parking lot. I wasn't able to walk up 3 flights of stairs without pausing on each landing to catch my breath. I barely fit behind the steering wheel of my car, and my seatbelt wouldn't buckle in some of my friends' automobiles. I may have been big, but my world was small. There were serious limitations on where I could go and what I could do. Now I can walk miles with ease, and if I wanted to go kayaking or spelunking, I know I could.

MV: What has not changed about you?

JF: My sense of humor, my personality and my outlook on life have not changed. I've always been a rather positive person, and even at my fattest I thought I was pretty cool That probably makes me sound arrogant, but I don't think there's anything wrong with liking who you are.

MV: Who or what is the most significant influence in your life?

JF: This is a cliched answer, but it's true: my mom. She's helped shape me into the woman I am today and I owe her a lot for not screwing me up She never put me on a diet and never made me feel bad about my weight. She always made me feel loved and let me know I had someplace to come home to.

—————–

I sat down today to write about Jeanette, and started doing my homework, checking out her blog more in depth, reading exerpts from her book…..and what do I discover?

She is a frickin' rock star! Not only has she appeared live on CBS and NBC morning shows, with total poise and confidence, but she has beeninterviewed by an amazing list of journalists. It just shows how down to earth Jeanette is that she doesn't say a peep about her accomplishments.

I guess it's true – when you're good, you're good, no need to brag about it.

Enjoy your weekend,

-mamaV

Who ventures out without makeup? If not, why not?

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=2qmi_jdb4qc]

One of my friends recently told me her mothers perspective of makeup was that it only covers up your natural beauty,  that is why you look so “weird” to yourself without it. This was kind of a religious perspective against makeup, which I don’t buy, but I thought it was interesting none the less.

When I head out of the house, I generally don’t think all that much about what my face looks like, especially if I am going to the grocery store, Target, who cares really?  What have I got to hide?

When I do wear it, I generally find myself digging through my purse at stoplights. It’s just kind of a hassle, and I hate taking time to put it on. Sure, I like how I look with some makeup on, I just need it to be quick and easy.

In modeling, we weren’t allowed to wear makeup. This is why I crack up at ANTM, the girls are all jazzed up and made to believe they will need this skill in the modeling world. Magazines and photographers want to see you “clean faced,” nothing to hide behind, so the whole facade Tyra creates is bogus.

I always find it sad when I hear of a woman that won’t leave the house without makeup, or someone is so totally overdone while out shopping, that I wonder how long they spent in front of the mirror analyzing their imaginary imperfections. We put alot of pressure on ourselves don’t we?

Where do you  fit into this picture?

mamaV