Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

I received an email from the producer of Oprah’s long awaited new show “Addicted To Food.” Below is the episode in full, please watch it and post your feedback. I’ll admit, I have mixed feelings — I liked it more than I thought I would. More thoughts below the video.

PROS:

1. I liked the way the show was shot, it seemed genuine, real — and as “non-exploitive” as possible.  I am thinking some of you will feel the bulimic and/or eating scenes were not necessary, but I would disagree because the realness of it added to true sickness of the disease(s).
2. The show successfully captured the deep, dark, sadness individuals with an eating disorder suffer with — alone, day after day and often year after year.
3. The philosophy that all eating disorders are at the core the same issue, I agree with and the atmosphere of placing individuals with all different disorders is different than I am accustomed to (ie anorexic and bulimics treated together, separate from compulsive overeaters for example).

CONS:

1. Individuals featured in the show may experience regret from “going  public” with their healing process.
2. Can one really be themselves with a camera in their face? If it was me — not a chance. I think it would hinder me a great deal.

Still pondering this….

I caught this video on whim, and loved it! Katy Perry has been iffy to me in terms of appropriateness (cupcakes as boobs…..really?)

But the theme for Firework is so inspiring;

4 young adults with different issues/insecurities that are holding them back from being themselves;

An girl who feels overweight not swimming at a party.

A child with cancer, bald from chemo stuck in the hospital.

Kids in a household with fighting parents.

Gay young male wanting to come out.

Check it out and tell me what you think. Love, mv

See the FaceBook Group here! We are up to 1,200 members!

Misery. We wallow in it, we promote it, we continue behaviors to fuel it, all while telling others we are trying. Are we trying? Or have you given up at the moment?

If you are at the depths of your ED, you are probably ready to smack me right now, but that’s good. At least you are alive and thinking. The hard thing about eating disorders is they are all encompassing. You are either in, or out, there’s is not a lot of in between.

Plus nothing phases you when you are in deep. The mind reels incessantly, like a hamster on a wheel, squeaking as it spins, day in and day out, until you don’t know what normal is anymore. Can you imagine if someone was tape recording your daily thoughts? Nuts. Absolutely insane.

How many times would you say negative feelings about yourself?

How much would you be questioning your actions? What you said? How you said it? What ‘they’ think of you?

It’s a damn living nightmare, but I am here to say you can come back. Come back stronger, and harder, and more confident. You can beat this devil of a disease, but it takes persistence, resilience, and one hell of a lot of energy.

Let me tell you what’s waiting for you on the other side. Visualize being capable of;

Reading a book and not losing your place because you can’t concentrate on anything but hunger pains.

Sitting at the dinner table with friends, focused on their faces, expressions, and their words, rather than the food that will not stop calling your name.

The mirror becomes just a mirror, not the arch enemy, judge and jury.

Forgetting, honestly, forgetting to eat because you were so engaged in an activity.

Tell me the last thing you did where you felt like you were in the moment?

Just living life for life’s sake.

Let’s talk new year.  Fresh start. Breaking old habits. Building upon healthy ones.

I want you to: Believe, conceive, achieve.

-mamaV

PS my new year’s resolution is to stop underestimating. When it comes to time, energy, effort, you name it- I will underestimate what it will take to accomplish it. I like to call it “optimism….to a fault.”

Thanksgiving is a living hell.

Food. Everywhere, all day long. Endless talk of food, thoughts of food, an eating disordered nightmare.

Thanksgiving is about family and togetherness…but the food takes center stage. When I was in the height of my eating disorder wanted to crawl under the table, pop in some earplugs and hide.

I recall thinking everyone was watching what I was eating. In reality they could have cared less, they were too busy enjoying themselves.

I recall watching others enjoy their food, eyes lit up with excitement when the huge, glistening brown turkey finally landed on the table. As their mouths watered, mine dried up as I calculated the fat grams in my head.

That was then, and this is now.

I spent Thanksgiving first with my parents, for brunch at the house I grew up in. Grandma whipped up the usually 14 course meal.  We grazed as we talked, eating accompanying our lively discussion.

We headed back home in the late afternoon to spend our first Thanksgiving “as a family,”  just the four of us; my husband, and two children. We had beef roast, and pasta, and garlic bread…and homemade apple pie. Our “traditional” favorites since we had no one else to please.

It’s the little things.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-a2mf4ymuY]

Simplicity.

I hope and I pray that one day you to will join me here on the other side.

Where life is about living.

And eating is an afterthought.

Love,

mamaV