Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

Video commentary on the Faces of Pro Ana saga that occured over the weekend. Videos are a bit choppy, but I am busy as heck and I wanted to get these posted.

 [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKodYgNRCWk]

Part 2 (camera died on me!)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3u0Mi6NTMU]

 Looking forward to your response,

-mamaV

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=uJyHFl1ox8U]

This video response was posted to me from YouTube regarding the Internet Suicide post. I feel this individual articulates a point of view that is worth sharing because she speaks as an outsider coming into a pro ana community, and being caught off guard on what she finds.

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=GFyjHGUE3bU]

Thoughts?

mamaV 

Here’s a “Dear Abbey” of sorts. I received this email today, name and location has been changed to protect privacy. I figured this community would give some interesting advice.

The story is all too familiar…

Hello mamaVISION,

My name is Zoe i am 17 years old and weigh a healthy 13
stone. I was walking around a fashion show which was being held in my
local area, when i was spotted by Storm models the very same people
who manage Kate Moss.

They asked me if i was interested in modeling and i immediately said
yes to them. I was asked to go downtown the very next day to
meet a photographer who would take some photos for a portfolio.

This was all fine until two months afterwards, i was told to lose 3
stone so i was 10 stone! That would make me have a BMI of 18.0 which i
do not think is healthy. I am now on a diet of 270 calories each day
and have collapsed twice in the last four days. I am not sure what to
do, because they are relying on me to do fashion week!

I feel trapped, and was handed some laxatives by a fellow model what
should i do?

Dear ZT:  

You, and only you can make this decision. If you want to be a model, you need to follow the rules. All of which are quite clear.

I have never been one to tell others what to do when it comes to modeling, its a personal choice. I do try to forewarn others what they are getting into with the fashion industry, and fortunately for you Zoe, you have discovered the facts early in the game.

Ask yourself this question: 

How will you feel if you walk away from this opportunity?

When I was asked this question at 16, I said:

I’ll wonder my whole life what I could have done.

I wanted it. I wanted to be a model. I wanted the excitement, the attention, and really it was a blessing in disguise for me. Crap, I barely got out alive, but still would not change a thing.

Zoe, I wish you health and happiness, and I would never encourage anyone to starve. But the reality is, it goes with the territory. Now you need to decide if being a model is worth the pain and suffering.

I encourage you to reach out to your parents, or any other friend or family member that you trust to help you think through this decision. I posted you question here so you can also ponder the thoughts of others.

Take care,

mamaV

I dug my Vogue magazines out of the basement, dated August 1987. You’ll never guess what I found…..

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfZuDDj-pJ8] 

Thanksgiving is a living hell.

Food. Everywhere, all day long. Endless talk of food, thoughts of food, an eating disordered nightmare.

Thanksgiving is about family and togetherness…but the food takes center stage. When I was in the height of my eating disorder wanted to crawl under the table, pop in some earplugs and hide.

I recall thinking everyone was watching what I was eating. In reality they could have cared less, they were too busy enjoying themselves.

I recall watching others enjoy their food, eyes lit up with excitement when the huge, glistening brown turkey finally landed on the table. As their mouths watered, mine dried up as I calculated the fat grams in my head.

That was then, and this is now.

I spent Thanksgiving first with my parents, for brunch at the house I grew up in. Grandma whipped up the usually 14 course meal.  We grazed as we talked, eating accompanying our lively discussion.

We headed back home in the late afternoon to spend our first Thanksgiving “as a family,”  just the four of us; my husband, and two children. We had beef roast, and pasta, and garlic bread…and homemade apple pie. Our “traditional” favorites since we had no one else to please.

It’s the little things.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-a2mf4ymuY]

Simplicity.

I hope and I pray that one day you to will join me here on the other side.

Where life is about living.

And eating is an afterthought.

Love,

mamaV

 We’ve created quite a little research pool here. The way this community picks apart topics, and analyzes issues is truly commendable. I don’t know about you, but I am still smiling about it, and I am passionate about heading into Year 2 as mamaV.  

I look forward to seeing who is saying what, who is pissed at me today, and what you all believe to be life’s truths. Why? Because it challenges our minds, our thoughts, and opinions. Between you and I, I am one of the most wishy washy people you’d ever meet (stop laughing panda07).

Give me a great debate on a topic and I am most easily swayed. In my personal and business life, I give people WAY too many chances, and I am optimistic to a fault. This personality trait has gotten me burned time and time again, but I keep doing it. I am just wired this way.

BUT, there are a few topics in life I am stone cold set on. It is this side of mamaV you see here and these topics drive the passion behind this blog. 

In the past year, one topic that continually gets debated with great passion is;

WHAT THE HELL IS PRO ANA ANYWAY?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lJmuOPzqcs]

To tell you the truth, sometimes the discussions get my head spinning so much, I really couldn’t tell you. But at the end of the day I always come back to this;

If you are looking for support, don’t lean on others with your same problem.

Trust me, this path is bad news.

I just don’t buy it, and no amount of tongue lashing has torn me away from this opinion. Why girls, for the love of God, would you think that when you have an eating disorder, the direction to head for support is to a bunch of eating disordered women?

You’ll sink deeper.

Faster.

Guaranteed.

Kristi4 is an example of this and her journal serves a very important purpose. Her life message is plain and simple – don’t turn to pro ana forums for support, instead run, as fast as you can, in the other direction. I have refused to edit what I have written about her, much to Josie’s dismay, because I know in my heart I have written this out of kindness, not hatred.

I’ve read Kristi’s journal too many times to count, and I am always left with the same impression. Here was a young woman (she was young, only in her 30′s) trying to lead a pro ana “support” community. Although she was surrounded by others in her same situation, she felt alone, depressed and ultimately suicidal. I can’t help but think if she would have turned outside for help that she may still be here today.

This topic gets to the core of why I do this blog, to create forum for discussion, inspiration, and thoughts beyond your eating disorders. There is a whole life out there waiting for you and I am fighting like hell to help you find it.

So if you find yourself part of the pro ana “support” community, I’d like to know this…..as Dr. Phil would say “How’s it workin’ for ya?”

-mamaV