Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

Saw this one coming a mile away. Particularly since Kate, The Dutchess of Cambridge, seems to be shrinking by the day (let’s hope its stress).  Turns our the Pro-anas are all over the sisters, glomming on to them as their fresh new “thinspo” material (at least that is what the media is shrieking).

How grand.

Odd thing is I searched for 15 minutes before writing this post for a video, proana site, or thinspo crap channel and I could not find ONE thing stated, noted, or expressed about Kate and Pippa.

So is this one hype or the typical situation of the media planting seeds for our dear proana community to glom on to? Either way, does it even matter at this point? Does anyone even care that there are MILLIONS of girls out there touting “Anorexia as a lifestyle.”

I found that answer many, many years ago – five to be exact, and the answer is a big fat NO. This culture is instead very interested in sensationalizing the whole thing, or of course banding together to “SHUT THE PRO ANA SITES DOWN.” Oh, yeah, that’s gonna do it. It takes what…five minutes to put up a new site or Facebook page?

We need to face this head on. We need to face the fact that every woman on the planet would like to be as thin as Kate and Pippa. Most actually spend the vast majority of their time longing to look like a waif. This is nothing new, and its no where near getting better, so what to do?

For me, I just need to rant about it a bit and get it out of my system, then I can move on with my day. How about you?

mV

A dear friend of mine sent me this song that you need to hear. This singer has struggled our struggles and she no doubt expresses it in this tune “Control.”

If only we could let it go, you know? It’s like we can gain glimpses of it, but then we slip back into our patterns of incessant worry over all the things that might happen, could be happening, will occur (even when 99% of it never does).

This is why I believe it is essential to surround yourself with people, music, images, and family who “get it” and who make you feel optimistic about yourself and life.

Have a listen, or two, or twenty — and keep your head screwed on straight today.

Lyrics: CONTROL
words and music by Dave and JJ Heller

The cut is deep, but never deep enough for me
It doesn’t hurt enough to make me forget
One moment of relief is never long enough
To keep the voices in my head
From stealing my peace

(more…)

Not all — but a large population of today’s eating disorders stem from our societies focus on body image and weight.

Let’s face it — our society is nuts.

We accept the fact that “Plus-Sized” models are now size 8-16. We accept the fact that magazines airbrush the living crap out of every single image of women within their pages yet we hold ourselves up to that standard. We accept the fact that kids as young as 4 are dieting (yes that is a f-o-u-r). We accept the fact that more lives are lost because of eating disorders than any other mental illness but God forbid we fork over the $ to treat sufferers. We accept the fact that Pro-Anorexia is a lifestyle that has infiltrated every corner of the web and our solution is to “Shut down those sites!” We accept the fact that dieting moms push their issues on their daughters. We accept the fact that sports require restricting food and water for weight requirements and pure vanity. We accept the fact that fat chat is a daily event that takes place in front of our children with listening ears.

But then we sit and wonder;

What’s wrong with our children? Why are they not happy? Why are they cutting? Why is there so much bullying? Why did that child commit suicide?

It all comes as a shock when you don’t open your eyes and walk around this insane planet for one day and notice how totally destructive our society is to our self image and body image.

Do it — I double dare you. Watch prime-time TV tonight. Google the word “thinspiration.” Open a fashion magazine, pick one, anyone and see the walking dead who are hailed the closest thing to perfect that we’ve ever seen. Browse this list of dead women consumed by their disease. Look at the athletes lost who were more dedicated to their sport than their lives. Take a stroll into Victoria Secret at the mall (actually you don’t even need to step inside since the massive promotional images on the outside of the store include a woman’s ass in a lace thong which is so appropriate).

Then go about your lovely little day. Concerned about your lovely little problems. While your children stick their fingers down their throats within earshot while you pretend to not notice. A burden you say. A frickin burden.

mamaV

XOXOXOXOX

**Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, psychiatrist, therapist or counselor. I am however a woman who has recovered (fully) from her eating disorder and I have been blogging on this topic since 2006 which stands for something. Qualified to make these statements? No. Making them anyway? Yes. Ranking like a lunatic? Absolutely.

Portia DeRossi and Ellen DeGeneres

So what do you guys think about the latest two Hollywood stars to come out of about their eating disorders? Does this help you, hurt you, or do you not give a rip?

Portia De Rossi was on Oprah earlier this week talking about anorexia and recovery to promote her new book ‘Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain.’. De Rossi shared how she exercised to work off the calories from a pack of gum by running around in a parking lot (been there, done that, except I did the stairs at my apartment) and revealing that at one time she weighed 82 pounds standing 5’8. Osteoporoses, cirrhosis, organ failure and the auto-immune disease lupus were the diseases that were a result of her eating disorder. She is now happily married to Ellen Degeneres and credits her recovery to the love and acceptance they share for one another.

This morning I read about Demi Lovato, one of my 10 year old daughters favorites. In case you don’t know her, she was the star of Camp Rock and later landed her own Disney sitcom “Sunny with a Chance.” Lovato just announced she will take a break from touring with the Jonas Brothers to enter treatment for her eating disorder which she says stems from being bullied. The video below shows Lovato talking about her experience, which shows that even being part of the popular crowd doesn’t make you immune from bullying.

How do you feel when you read about these stories?

Do they matter? Does it make you feel less alone?

Or are these people totally irrelevant?

If I had to guess, we are going to have a mixed response on this one. There tends to be those who say their ED has nothing do with Hollywood or anything else, its purely their own control, perfectionism, personal issue. Then there are those who are VERY influenced by the media, Hollywood and fashion (hello pro anas!) who have succumbed to the pressure to try to measure up to weight and beauty standards.

(more…)

Gemma Ward today -- normal is not cutting it in fashion, she is ready for "plus sized" modeling according to Bryan Boy

Top Fashion Model Gemma Ward has had it — she has called it quits after years of harrassment about her weight Perhaps the final straw was being called a ”Roll Model” by the Sunday Telegraph, read more here (first person to find the roll wins!)

It’s called PUBERTY people.

Celebrating her 22nd birthday in New York last week, Ward was photographed alongside close friend and Sports Illustrated swimwear model, Jessica Gomes. Ward, who was romantically linked to Heath Ledger, disappeared from the fashion industry after his death in January 2008, The Sunday Telegraph reports.

Last week, she was snapped wearing a leopard-print jacket, shorts and biker boots - looking the very picture of a healthy young woman (above).  But the photographs were quickly posted by international fashion blogger Bryan Boy. Reader comments varied from overwhelming support to vicious attacks on her new real shape, with the blogger boy himself saying she could now give “Crystal Renn a run for her money.”

(more…)

Sorry, but the Ana-Rexia Costume you wanted is out of stock!

READ MORE HERE….

WARNING: THIS POST ABOUT TRIGGER MAY BE A TRIGGER.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0-MGTaPs58]

SITE STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION…YOU MAY SEE WACKED OUT PAGES

A poster of a second impossibly thin Ralph Lauren model has emerged in Sydney, landing the exclusive fashion house in more hot water.

See first disaster here.

The blogging website Photoshop Disasters posted an image today of an unknown model with a tiny waist posing in a Ralph Lauren advertisement.

(more…)

 

Former Ralph Lauren model Flippa Hamilton dumped for being too fat. Fake Flippa left, Real Flippa right

UPDATE: 10/15  Another incriminating photo exposes Laurens idiocy –more here 

Not such a Happy 70th Birthday for you today,  huh Ralph-ie?

Earlier this week, Lauren’s freaky-science-fiction like ad campaign featuring an oddly altered image of model Flippa Hamilton surfaced. BoingBoing said it best stating Hamilton’s “head is bigger than her pelvis (dude).”

Now the model herself has come forward to say she was fired for being “too fat.”

  (more…)

So many posts, so little time! Here is a bunch of interesting info that has come my way that I need to share in Cliff's Notes fashion!

Pro Anorexia Documentary
Watch for "The Truth about Online Anorexia"
airing in the UK April 9th 21:00 on ITV. After it airs, it can be
viewed online here by those of us residing in other countries. I am sure
this will spark much conversation.

Cerulean Butterfly
Pro Ana support site or high school drama queen landing place? More to
come on this…if you have info to share bring it on. The stories of
admin abuse going on here is completely unacceptable.

Side note: This picture from the homepage of their site really, really creepy and it should probably be a warning to wannabe members that some evil-ness lurks inside.

Looking Glass Foundation
Canadian Eating Disorder center produced these awesome ED commericals with DDB. They will leave you breathless:

German Artist Ivonne Thein was so horrified by pro-anorexia web sites that she created "Thirty-Two Kilos" (70 pounds) exhibit….digitally enhanced images glorifying it? or mocking it? or perpetuating it?

If Thein got it, she would realize these images are the best youtube thinspiration yet….

Alba is the latest photoshop victim, airbrushed into some sort of cartoonish SuperHero version of herself.

A little nip and tuck at the waist, and slim down those chunky thighs please. Those collarbones need to really pop, we want to see bones. Vulptuious breasts must literally be pouring out of the top of the halter dress. Add some slutty red lipstick and a few sexy wisps to the hair – and now one of the world's most gorgeous women is good enough for Campari.

Freaky-ist part? Check out her eyeballs. They moved her damn pupils so she is staring at the camera!

For cripes sake, if this doesn't make you ill, not sure what will.

-mamaV

I am thinking I don't thank you all enough. The emails, the thoughtful comments, the everything…its really quite overwhelming at times.

This blog has been an incredible journey, one that has caused me to dig deep inside at times, take time to ponder where my head is at, but most of all it has given me you. This community means the world to me. Do you know that?

I know, I know…we argue, disagree, bat each other around from time to time – but when all is said and done we have a purpose here. We are all serving a purpose here. This would be nothing but a bunch of words without your breath of life.

I literally have no interest in listening to myself talk. It's the interaction with all of you that keeps me writing.

Plus, I know we are making a difference. I know this has become a daily meeting place for many, a safe place, and a place of hope amidst the darkness.

I hope you all were able to pause, and appreciate your families today. Thanksgiving is generally hell day  for ED sufferers…a nightmare of tradition revolving around food and stuffing ourselves silly. Crap, I remember dreading this day. I would plan how I would duck and dodge to get out of eating, flush my food down the toilet, or sneak it to the dog under the table.

Usually it was too nuts for anyone to notice, so I usually made it through, but I was miserable inside. So I wanted you all to know my heart was and is with you today.

To a better tomorrow my friends.

Love,

mamaV

XOXO

We have about 150 votes on the poll posted on the right side of the blog. If you click on the "comments" link at the bottom of the poll you can view this map which I found quite interesting. Kind of odd how the central part of the U.S does not have many voters, I wonder why?

I thought was pretty cool be be able to visualize where readers are coming from in the U.S., Canada and Mexico. We also have many friends in the 74 countries including the UK, Australia, Europe and even Kazakhstan as shown below on this Google Analytics map;

Isn't technology mind-boggling? For those of you who don't know I am a tech-geek. I live for this stuff. The thought that I can communicate with others all across the world just fascinates me. It keeps me up at night, thinking about the possibilities.

A blog is such a unique form of expression too. I would have absolutely NO interest in this if it was a one way conversation. Posting my viewpoint out there with no feedback is boring- I want to hear YOU. I am always excited to read comments, differing points of view, and get into great debates.

Thank you for being a part of my life girls! 

-mamaV

PS Please post your ideas for a new poll, what are you curious to ask this community?

Call it disordered eating. Call it a diet. Call it balanced lifestyle. It’s all whacked.

This was a topic of conversation over the weekend at a blogger meeting in Chicago. I had the pleasure to meet up with a group of women bloggers including my longtime friend Stephanie from BISJ, and new friends Melissa from Talesofadisorderedeater, PastaQueen the author of "Half-Assed", Linda from FatDontWrinkle (gotta love that name).

I realized I come from a unique perspective because I have never "dieted" (yeah, yeah, I know "skinny bitch," you can say it). I went from normal Midwestern girl, to psycho-workout-starvation-freak, right back to normal Midwestern woman. Trust me, I don’t take it for granted. 

I sat and listened what it takes to maintain a goal weight on a Weight Watchers program. The measuring, the calorie journals, food calculations before every bite. It’s your basic time-consuming, mind-numbing, obsessive behaviors necessary for lifetime diet success. Hmmm….sounds quite familiar doesn’t it?

Here’s the difference, at least from the "Weight Watcher" girl perspective-

1) They aren’t deadly thin.

2) They don’t purge.

Don’t worry, I piped in with my big mouth to say "being thin is not a prerequisite to an ED, nor is purging."

I can’t tell you how many times I have been emailed by frustrated EDNOS sufferers with this very same thought. How many girls have posted here saying they were sent home from the hospital, after finally confiding their eating disorder "mind", only to be sent home because they were not "anorexically thin?"

At the end of the day, the whole thing just made me sad. It’s sad that the most fun I had with a group of women in a long time was around a table relating on eating behaviors.

The worst part, I am afraid, is that all of this, every single, sick part of it – is simply part of being a girl.

-mamaV

Try out for MTV’s new reality show Model Maker and you’ll be dead in no time! But hey- you’ll be famous.

They pulled out all the stops and got this Mo-Fo to produce the program which calls for losing up to 80 pounds in 3 months.

America is off it’s rocker.

So how does reading this impact you? Do you realize how totally out of reality this crap is or does this somehow, somewhere make you feel like you are not good enough?

I’m in a mood, so let’s have some fun with this for a change, rather than wallowing in this BS.

Here’s the email address to the web site where they are casting for models: mtvmodel@madwood.com.

CORRECTION: I was told the above is invalid, try this one mtv@madwood.tv

Just for shits and giggles pelt them with messages expressing your personal point of view. Or even better, tell them you are 6 foot 2, and weigh 100 pounds….tell them you are willing to die to be on their pathetic, arrogant show.

Ahhh, it’s damn good to be back!!

Love,

mamaV

I thought I’d help Josie drive some traffic to her cute, little post on My Pro Ana Hero!

This is my ~ThInSpIrAtIoN~

That’s me by the way, 21, skinny and miserable, sent to Miami by my NY agent to shoot with some pervert photographer. I ate nothing for 3 days until my self discipline broke and I mowed down a box of Total cereal, then hit the pool for a marathon swim. Good times.

Hey, I feel that spark coming back!

Look out Josie!

-mamaV

Tipster Izzy directed to me to Faces of Pro Ana  (fixed the link it works now). I guess I am not the only one swiping images of Pro Ana girls on public web sites and displaying them to make a point.

I personally think this one holding the skull is particularly creative.

Sunday 3/30 1:30pm picture removed per request of individual shown. 

Can this get anymore psycho? Or is today’s youth so bored that they cling on to some grim reality for the shock factor?

Honestly, this is getting so tired. I didn’t think I would ever say this, but after nearly two years of blogging on this topic I have no idea why I am doing this. 

-mamaV

What is the most ridiculous thing you have every tried to lose weight?

Jezebel recently posted on a Glamour Rag article dedicated to this topic, “Scary Diet Tricks No Woman Should Try!”

Before you all freak and tell me that I am providing tips and tricks for pro anas or individuals with ED’s please just stop. The web is crawling with this crap so don’t delude yourself into believing I am revealing some mystery here. Plus not one item on the Glamour list was new to me, so my guess you all won’t be surprised either.

My lamest attempt at weight loss?

Baby food. Who the hell knows how I even came up with this idea, but we all know the mind does strange things when deliberately starved. Didn’t taste bad really, but the vision of a teenage girl walking down the street chomping down strained peas from a mini glass Gerber jar is rather psycho.

Your turn,

-mamaV