Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

Video commentary on the Faces of Pro Ana saga that occured over the weekend. Videos are a bit choppy, but I am busy as heck and I wanted to get these posted.

 [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKodYgNRCWk]

Part 2 (camera died on me!)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3u0Mi6NTMU]

 Looking forward to your response,

-mamaV

I thought I’d help Josie drive some traffic to her cute, little post on My Pro Ana Hero!

This is my ~ThInSpIrAtIoN~

That’s me by the way, 21, skinny and miserable, sent to Miami by my NY agent to shoot with some pervert photographer. I ate nothing for 3 days until my self discipline broke and I mowed down a box of Total cereal, then hit the pool for a marathon swim. Good times.

Hey, I feel that spark coming back!

Look out Josie!

-mamaV

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=uJyHFl1ox8U]

Tipster Izzy directed to me to Faces of Pro Ana  (fixed the link it works now). I guess I am not the only one swiping images of Pro Ana girls on public web sites and displaying them to make a point.

I personally think this one holding the skull is particularly creative.

Sunday 3/30 1:30pm picture removed per request of individual shown. 

Can this get anymore psycho? Or is today’s youth so bored that they cling on to some grim reality for the shock factor?

Honestly, this is getting so tired. I didn’t think I would ever say this, but after nearly two years of blogging on this topic I have no idea why I am doing this. 

-mamaV

What is the most ridiculous thing you have every tried to lose weight?

Jezebel recently posted on a Glamour Rag article dedicated to this topic, “Scary Diet Tricks No Woman Should Try!”

Before you all freak and tell me that I am providing tips and tricks for pro anas or individuals with ED’s please just stop. The web is crawling with this crap so don’t delude yourself into believing I am revealing some mystery here. Plus not one item on the Glamour list was new to me, so my guess you all won’t be surprised either.

My lamest attempt at weight loss?

Baby food. Who the hell knows how I even came up with this idea, but we all know the mind does strange things when deliberately starved. Didn’t taste bad really, but the vision of a teenage girl walking down the street chomping down strained peas from a mini glass Gerber jar is rather psycho.

Your turn,

-mamaV 

Who ventures out without makeup? If not, why not?

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One of my friends recently told me her mothers perspective of makeup was that it only covers up your natural beauty,  that is why you look so “weird” to yourself without it. This was kind of a religious perspective against makeup, which I don’t buy, but I thought it was interesting none the less.

When I head out of the house, I generally don’t think all that much about what my face looks like, especially if I am going to the grocery store, Target, who cares really?  What have I got to hide?

When I do wear it, I generally find myself digging through my purse at stoplights. It’s just kind of a hassle, and I hate taking time to put it on. Sure, I like how I look with some makeup on, I just need it to be quick and easy.

In modeling, we weren’t allowed to wear makeup. This is why I crack up at ANTM, the girls are all jazzed up and made to believe they will need this skill in the modeling world. Magazines and photographers want to see you “clean faced,” nothing to hide behind, so the whole facade Tyra creates is bogus.

I always find it sad when I hear of a woman that won’t leave the house without makeup, or someone is so totally overdone while out shopping, that I wonder how long they spent in front of the mirror analyzing their imaginary imperfections. We put alot of pressure on ourselves don’t we?

Where do you  fit into this picture?

mamaV

I stumbled upon a book last weekend, Beauty Junkies by Alex Kuczynski. The stories told by this New York Times Style reporter are literally stunning.

Alex worked the beauty beat for years, in one of America’s most plastic obsessed cities, riddled with wannabes from all ages, and lifestyles. She tells of male lawyers obsessed with botox injections, because they need to have that perfect “poker face” in court.

Botox injections are recommended no more than every 6 months, but these dudes rotate dealers, I mean doctors, every 8-9 weeks for their necessary fix.

Liposuction for the feet, botox in the wrinkles of the palms. I wish I was kidding.  

And I know all about Body Dismorphic Disorder, but I suspect that in the majority of cases Alex details in her book, BDD is not the culprit. Our good old friend Self Esteem is lacking in these individuals, and lacking badly.

Take Mrs. X, the wife of a powerful Hollywood Executive (she refrained from revealing her real name). She manages her daily schedule around  primping and pumping needs. “It is her profession, hobby, passion, and primary relationship,” Alex explains. 

Hairdresser: 2 times per week for color, style, stripping, you name it.

Exercise: Daily tennis for toning

Skin: Self Tanner (separate one for face, body and hands), once a week a facialist steams her pores and gently squeezes them, Marina Chicet Brain Lipid Serum slathered on the face daily to allow the cow brain extract to conceal her wrinkles.

Water: Only Penta, due to the high-energy sound waves that are used to make this water more hydrating than any other.

Vitamins: Murad Wet Suit to build collagen, and a cup of probiotic blue-green algae each morning for who the hell knows what.

Nails: Twice per week, buffed not polished, for a younger look.

State of Mind: Rolfing treatments in a series, not sure how many sessions that includes.

Makeup: She does not leave the house, without a professional appling her makeup. Oh, and her makeup artist has an assistant.

Teeth: Cleaned every 8 weeks, natural ones are whitened, veneers replaced annually

Eyebrows: Tweezed and tinted every other week.

Eyes: Lasik perfect.

Doctor visits: monthly, utilizing various techniques including Gore-Tex, Botox, collagen, Retylane, Artecoll.

Plastic surgeon visits: consultations 3 times per year, about 1 surgery annually.

Procedures done: liposuction, tummy tuck, two variations of a brow lift and face lift, upper eyes, lower eyes, implants twice (first batch were not large enough).

And finally – Labiaplasty. Yep, trimming and tucking of the vagina, you know, to make them “neat and tidy” as Mrs. X explains. Labiaplasty happens to be the fastest growing area of plastic surgery. You can even have lipo on the pad of fat on the top of your vagina, making wearing tight dresses much easier! (Quote from a plastic surgeon not me!)

I am exhausted just thinking about this woman’s schedule. Exhausted, and so very sad for her. This quote encompasses her lack of self worth in a nutshell.

Alex asks her ” Is it difficult to be the wife of a powerful guy in Hollywood?

“How do you mean,” Mrs. X inquires.

“Do you ever wish you had a career?” Alex states.

There is a briefest of pauses.

“No, because I was never really going to be that good at anything,” she says. “Or at least I was never going to be so good at anything that I would have made a difference.”

 Damn, I am glad to be me.

-mamaV

Here’s a “Dear Abbey” of sorts. I received this email today, name and location has been changed to protect privacy. I figured this community would give some interesting advice.

The story is all too familiar…

Hello mamaVISION,

My name is Zoe i am 17 years old and weigh a healthy 13
stone. I was walking around a fashion show which was being held in my
local area, when i was spotted by Storm models the very same people
who manage Kate Moss.

They asked me if i was interested in modeling and i immediately said
yes to them. I was asked to go downtown the very next day to
meet a photographer who would take some photos for a portfolio.

This was all fine until two months afterwards, i was told to lose 3
stone so i was 10 stone! That would make me have a BMI of 18.0 which i
do not think is healthy. I am now on a diet of 270 calories each day
and have collapsed twice in the last four days. I am not sure what to
do, because they are relying on me to do fashion week!

I feel trapped, and was handed some laxatives by a fellow model what
should i do?

Dear ZT:  

You, and only you can make this decision. If you want to be a model, you need to follow the rules. All of which are quite clear.

I have never been one to tell others what to do when it comes to modeling, its a personal choice. I do try to forewarn others what they are getting into with the fashion industry, and fortunately for you Zoe, you have discovered the facts early in the game.

Ask yourself this question: 

How will you feel if you walk away from this opportunity?

When I was asked this question at 16, I said:

I’ll wonder my whole life what I could have done.

I wanted it. I wanted to be a model. I wanted the excitement, the attention, and really it was a blessing in disguise for me. Crap, I barely got out alive, but still would not change a thing.

Zoe, I wish you health and happiness, and I would never encourage anyone to starve. But the reality is, it goes with the territory. Now you need to decide if being a model is worth the pain and suffering.

I encourage you to reach out to your parents, or any other friend or family member that you trust to help you think through this decision. I posted you question here so you can also ponder the thoughts of others.

Take care,

mamaV

This is an image from a Tokyo Fashion Magazine.

Fact or Fiction?

Photoshopped or Real?

Does it really even matter either way?

The fact is it is in print, and therefore it is real. The image exists, and the message is clear, isn’t it girls.

2008 is off to a great frickin’ start.

-mamaV

Taken from: Numéro Tokyo Magazine (February 2008 issue)
Photo: René Habermacher and Jannis Tsipoulanis

Commenter Anne dared me to post about this story so I couldn’t resist. Although I am not sure why this required such a dare, because this story is old news

NEWS FLASH: Stop blaming models, stars, media – blame your genes.

Here’s a brief on what The Times Online article has to say:

Anorexia may be caused by inherited differences in the way a sufferer’s brain operates, leading to obsessive behaviour, according to research. Rather than being triggered by images of super-thin models and celebrities, the eating disorder could be brought on by the in-built way in which the brain responds to pleasure and reward. It has been argued that images of unhealthily thin stars in the media have encouraged anorexic behaviour in impressionable young women. But a study published in The American Journal of Psychiatry suggests that the brains of anorexia sufferers behave differently to those of the rest of the population and that certain people are born with a susceptibility to develop the condition.

Snore….huh? I’m up here’s a brief on my perspective;

Genes can play a role in anorexia, agreed. I wholeheartedly support any and all efforts to provide these anorexia sufferers with treatment for their disease. This blog is not aimed at that audience. I write to a whole other segment of the population. The young girls and women that tune into “Nip and Tuck” and can’t wait for ANTM (if you don’t know what that stands for, good, you are on the right track).

One can not ignore the overwhelming evidence of cultural and societal influence, a few of the best reports on the other side of this story can be read here;

Dove Global Study: print this thing out and read it. It’s sad as hell. For the record, I am beautiful and not afraid to admit it or say it or be it or think it (psst…Dove is owned by Evil Unilever. My vote? Who cares).

More common than Alzheimer’s:yet insurance stinks. 5-10 Million affected by eating disorders in the US alone. Research funding totals a whopping $1.20 per sufferer (we all need another Gucci bag after all).

You’ve got to live in the US of A to get it, but we are a country obsessed. Forget Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll, we Binge, Purge & Lipo 24/7 in this country. There is no way in hell we are going to spend money to actually figure out why we are all eating disordered – it’s a lifestyle babe.

Been there, done that: Fashion Designers control the sizes. The chic sizes are currently 0, and 00. I am waiting for the negative sizes to make their debut (ie. -3, now that would be rad).

1980′s SuperModels

1990 SuperModel…better known now as ”lard ass.”

2000 SuperModel…way the hell too fat for runway now.

2006 SuperModel…rexy figure maintained by coke on the rocks.

2006-2007 SuperModels….dead.

Yep, all in the genes.

-mamaV

I dug my Vogue magazines out of the basement, dated August 1987. You’ll never guess what I found…..

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfZuDDj-pJ8] 

Size 0 is now available in pill form! Just pop one, I mean four, of these little beauties a day and you too can look like a zombie runway model.

This simply fabulous breakthrough secret is contained in a dainty little black box, with the answer to happiness  plastered front and center just in case you forgot that anything above a size zero is, well, eeewwww.

Brought to you by your friendly mall vitamin store GNC, the leaders in converting lard asses nationwide, into “Hot, Radiant, Alluring, Elegant & Beautiful” creatures.

Just a few silly warnings, pay no mind:

Not intended for use by individuals under the age of 18 (but what about my 10 year old daughter who is dieting with me?)

Consult with a physician prior to, during and after use (I’ll get right on that)

If you are taking any prescription medication or have any medical condition (wait, that eliminates 99% of the population) 

If you have been treated for or diagnosed with, or have a family history of, any medical condition including, but not limited to:high blood pressure, heart disease, liver disease, kidney disease, peptic and gastric ulcers, cardiac arrhythmia, renal disease, hyperthyroidism, spasms, glaucoma, psychiatric disease, psychological conditions, anxiety, depression, nervousness, seizure disorder, stroke, angina, diabetes, asthma, suffer from migraines, are allergic to tyramine or chocolate or sensitive to the effects of caffeine (that eliminates the other 1% of us)

Do not take in conjunction with any supplement or over-the-counter drug containing ephedrine alkaloids, caffeine, pseudoephedrine, phenylpropanolamine or any stimulants. One serving of this product contains approximately as much caffeine as two cups of coffee (catch a buzz off the stuff simultaneously, I like it).

Do not use if you have a history of drug use. Do not use with alcohol (I’m out)

Do not use during high intensity activities in high temperature conditions (exercise not allowed.)

Discontinue use and consult a physician immediately if you experience any of the following: nervousness, sleeplessness, dizziness, cardiac irregularities or rapid heart beat, shortness of breath, tremors, nausea, chest pain, tingling sensations, behavioral changes, loss of consciousness, or other similar symptoms (any one still alive?)

NOTE: The product name Size 0 does not depict the amount of weight loss or clothing size goals that will be achieved with use of this product. Individual results will vary depending of body type and fitness goals.

Manufactured Exclusively for Size 0 Labs
3133 Fortune Way Suite #4 (nice address)

Well, since this one won’t do the trick for me, I’ll pop some “clen.”

Never heard of it? Get with the program man, they’ve been vaccinating horses with it for years.

We are one desperate bunch ladies, and I don’t see any light at the end of this tunnel.

mamaV

Pro anorexia sites are running rampant. We must shut them down quickly and swiftly to save society!

Microsoft steps in and shuts down pro anorexia sites, without a court order. YouTube and Facebook are under the microscope too.

What genius is still beating on this dead drum? 

Don’t tell anyone…but it takes about 5 minutes to set up a new site…hehe…the pro ana’s have their sites back up and running before you can blink. 

Even more scary is there is no logic to this madness.  I overuse this phrase, but I like it; nothing like sticking your head in the sand. And since everyone got really fired up the last time I posted this picture, let’s post it again just for shits and giggles. 

A few stats, which are growing as I type this: 

Google “pro ana” to view over 5 million results

YouTube “thinspiration” hauls in well over 5000 full length videos, a total of 8 uploaded TODAY.

ProAnaThinspo is just an unbelieveable mashup of thin bodies, body parts, stars and real girls that will blow your mind.

How about we face reality think about what the hell we have created here.

On second thought, that sounds like a lot of time and energy. Let’s stick with ‘out of sight, out of mind,’ it’s a lot more convenient, plus I have a lot of shit to buy before Christmas.

-mamaV

Since Pro Ana Privacy is the most visited post these days, I figured it was time for another go around. Especially since I can really feel the love in the comments.

For what it’s worth; I heard a story on the radio that I wanted to share.

A talented young woman recently applied for a job just after she graduated from college. A dream job really, everything she ever wanted. Mom and Dad were so proud.

Little did she know that some pictures that she uploaded to the web many years prior would come back to haunt her.

One in a bikini.
Several in her underwear.

One doing a frickin’ back-bend in her undies.

Not good. No job. Worst of all? No way to remove them – ever.

This thing is permanent girls. It’s called the world wide web and once you CHOOSE to serve yourself up for the taking, you are gone, your privacy is gone, and your future opportunities are at stake.

Think about it next time you want to ask one of your dear ana friends “Do I look fat?”

-mamaV

Hila weighed 60 pounds. My 7 1/2 year old daughter weighs 50.

A fashion model stricken with an all too familiar disease of anorexia. But this time, a friend was at her side. Adi Barkan documented Hila’s struggle, and sent shock waves out to the fashion world, by showing the reality of this situation in one still photograph.

Fashion photographer Adi Barkan is shown cradling Hila Elmalich in a still from a video shot when the model fell ill. (Gil Sadan/Tamar Golan Film)

There’s not much more to say here. Either the fashion industry is going to step up to the plate and make changes, or they are going to continue on their merry way in this deadly game they are playing.

You know what I thought when I saw this photograph?

How, for the love of god, can one be a part of an industry so full of themselves? How do you sit in an audience and stare up at these young women who are clearly not well, and focus on the clothing? Why do clothes, and prestige, and beauty mean this much in our society?

Bless Mr. Barkan’s heart for leading the effort in Israel to change fashion standards for the past three years. Your friend will not die in vain, she will be with you as you carry on in her name.

-mamaV

 We’ve created quite a little research pool here. The way this community picks apart topics, and analyzes issues is truly commendable. I don’t know about you, but I am still smiling about it, and I am passionate about heading into Year 2 as mamaV.  

I look forward to seeing who is saying what, who is pissed at me today, and what you all believe to be life’s truths. Why? Because it challenges our minds, our thoughts, and opinions. Between you and I, I am one of the most wishy washy people you’d ever meet (stop laughing panda07).

Give me a great debate on a topic and I am most easily swayed. In my personal and business life, I give people WAY too many chances, and I am optimistic to a fault. This personality trait has gotten me burned time and time again, but I keep doing it. I am just wired this way.

BUT, there are a few topics in life I am stone cold set on. It is this side of mamaV you see here and these topics drive the passion behind this blog. 

In the past year, one topic that continually gets debated with great passion is;

WHAT THE HELL IS PRO ANA ANYWAY?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lJmuOPzqcs]

To tell you the truth, sometimes the discussions get my head spinning so much, I really couldn’t tell you. But at the end of the day I always come back to this;

If you are looking for support, don’t lean on others with your same problem.

Trust me, this path is bad news.

I just don’t buy it, and no amount of tongue lashing has torn me away from this opinion. Why girls, for the love of God, would you think that when you have an eating disorder, the direction to head for support is to a bunch of eating disordered women?

You’ll sink deeper.

Faster.

Guaranteed.

Kristi4 is an example of this and her journal serves a very important purpose. Her life message is plain and simple – don’t turn to pro ana forums for support, instead run, as fast as you can, in the other direction. I have refused to edit what I have written about her, much to Josie’s dismay, because I know in my heart I have written this out of kindness, not hatred.

I’ve read Kristi’s journal too many times to count, and I am always left with the same impression. Here was a young woman (she was young, only in her 30′s) trying to lead a pro ana “support” community. Although she was surrounded by others in her same situation, she felt alone, depressed and ultimately suicidal. I can’t help but think if she would have turned outside for help that she may still be here today.

This topic gets to the core of why I do this blog, to create forum for discussion, inspiration, and thoughts beyond your eating disorders. There is a whole life out there waiting for you and I am fighting like hell to help you find it.

So if you find yourself part of the pro ana “support” community, I’d like to know this…..as Dr. Phil would say “How’s it workin’ for ya?”

-mamaV

I figured I might as well repost these for review as well. Do you see yourself here?

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=gUsKIApTewQ]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li3mg1GrKe0]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vilUhBhNnQc]

Cool anti ana avatars, read em’ & live em’ girls!

Next up, a fun little weekend project.

1) Go to office depot and get some bright orange post its.

2) Write a positive body message of inspiration for yourself and others.

3) Stick it in a public place, one frequented by women (bathrooms are perfect).

4) Be a part of the real body revolution started by WeBiteBack!

5) Believe what you wrote, repeat it, live it.

6) Report your posting to The Orange Revolution.

This thing is going international….check out this one in Australia!

chuck the scale : ditch the fashion rags : check out the library : buy some new music : learn something new: no fat chat : be kind : believe in you :

Love you, enjoy the warm air and do something different this weekend

mv

A teenage model has been found dead only six months after her model sister, Luisel died at a fashion show of complications arising from anorexia, as reported by Times Online.

Eliana Ramos, 18, was found dead in her bedroom in Montevideo, Uraguay, by her grandmother, with whom she was staying. She is believed to have had a heart attack.

She is the sister of Luisel Ramos, dead from a heart attack. She also starved herself to fit the fashion industry standards.

HOW MANY GIRLS ARE WE GOING TO KILL BEFORE WE WAKE UP.

I am absolutely livid, so please excuse my emotion and passion. I read this story 10 minutes ago and my heart is pounding out of my chest.

1 Modeling agents and bookers are at the center of this problem. They see the girls daily, they pressure the girls daily, they measure the girls daily, so stop acting like you are not aware of this and this is not a major influence in this problem. I know you have one modeling agent on your panel, how is he playing a part?

2 What size are your clothes that you are producing for your fashion shows? It’s this simple: To be a model, I must fit into your clothes. If my body is to large to fit, I will lose weight to make the cut. End of story.

3 Why do the fashion magazines showcase children as the women? Just stop already.

The findings of a post-mortem examination have yet to be released but local reports suggested that Ms Ramos, who was taking part in the Montevideo fashion week, suffered from “alimentary deficiency”.

Her parents, who were on holiday at the time of her death, were said to be devastated by the loss of a second daughter in six months.

Their father said afterwards that his daughter had been on a diet of lettuce and diet-cola in an attempt to lose weight. Her body mass index (BMI) was found to be below the level considered starvation by the World Health Organization.

Despite her sister’s fate Ms Ramos, nicknamed Elle by family and friends, had decided to continue her modeling career. She had signed with one of Argentina’s top agencies and the blonde, blue-eyed teenager was considered to have a promising career in Europe and the US.

She had been signed up recently by Dotto Models, the agency that represented her sister. Pancho Dotto, the owner of the agency, today dismissed claims that an eating disorder was responsible for Elian’s death.

“She was very healthy, she ate well and played sports,” said Mr Dotto. “She was never extremely thin. It is absurd to talk of alimentary deficiency, anorexia, bulimia and all that. It is clear that the deaths of the Ramos sisters are due to a genetic problem and not an eating disorder.”

At the time of her death she weighed only 6st (40kg).

Please take a moment today to say a prayer for the Ramos family. Their grief must be simply unbearable, and my heart is broken, once again for them.

-mamaVISION

This week LATimes asks the question “Is Skinny Going Out Of Style? ” The ultra-thin model issue remains at the forefront thanks to designer Diane von Furstenberg’s letter to the Council of Fashion Designers of America urging them to take a position on the issue of underweight models.

Frankly, it’s pathetic that someone of von Furstenberg’s status needs to literally sit down and draft a letter to her cohorts in the Fashion Industry asking them actually look their beloved, pre-teen models in the eyes and see their pain.

Put aside the designers themselves for a moment, and let’s talk about the audience. Anyone who sat there during this show, and watched this obviously sick, young girl prance the damn “catwalk”, as it is favorably called, and didn’t react should be ashamed of yourselves.

How do you watch this, see her bones literally sticking out of her frail frame, the dark circles under her eyes, and the pain in her expression, and clap for this year’s amazing collections, yelling “Bravo” to the warped designers who created this monster of a business?

This whole thing is totally beyond me.

Von Furstenbery recognized this as a global fashion issue and stated ”as designers, we cannot ignore the impact fashion has on body image. We share a responsibility to protect women, and very young girls in particular, within the industry, sending the message that health is beauty.”

We need to share in this responsibility…remember that each one of those fashion magazines you purchase only drives this business. So, think about ditching them. What do they do for your self esteem besides send you deeper into your body image issues? Free yourself of this trap and how happy you will be.

I got a bad feeling, skinny ain’t going out of style anytime soon.

___________________________________________________________

7 million women and 1 million men have anorexia, an epidemic level according to the National Assn. of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders of Highland Park, Ill.

If you need help, please call the ANAD hotline, 847-831-3438 (Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm, Central Time)