Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

Reality sets in today for us at mamaVISION.

Although we talk, support, argue, laugh and tease here on the blog….the truth we must always remember is we are discussing a deadly topic. Eating disorders take the lives of women every single day, but statistics don’t really hit home do they?

“10 Million Females in the United States Are Battling Eating Disorders.”

If you are like me, you think, “Ok, 10 million…big number.” and life goes on. We can’t even process this figure.

But today is different. We have lost 3, that’s three, of our own.

Three young, vibrant lives snuffed out by an disease that tortures the mind and soul, until the body simply surrenders.

Emily

Ellie

Sheri

Emily started posting here well over a year ago. Her mom Brooke was concerned about her, so she searched her computer to see what she was doing online and found mamaVISION.com. She bravely and responsibility reacted by reaching out to me and asking me what she should do. She was a mother desperate to help. A mother willing to do anything in her power to heal her beloved daughter.

But as we all know, as friends and family we can listen, we can love, we can stand by their side and help with therapy and treatment. But the sufferer then needs to do the work. The work is often too much to bare and when those feelings of fear, shame, and negativity creep in..they retreat to the habits they know will eventually take their life. Starving. Restricting. Binging. Purging.

Emily was 17 years old. She suffered a heart attack. The attack was not her first, the unfortunate veteran of an eating disorder. She survived in a coma, but eventually passed in peace.

Ellie and Sheri are two others being remembered on the open forum. I need you to post about these women, because I didn’t have the pleasure to know them. Please tell us their stories, and send me their pictures to post to the memorial if appropriate.

Stop today, and think about these three women. Take a few breaths, and think.

And please don’t naively believe for one moment this won’t be you if you don’t reach out for help. I would bet Emily, Ellie and Sheri never imagined they would be written about today.

Love always,

mamaV

As women, we fantasize about being someone else.

If only we could be perfect chick, with the ideal bod. The one that makes it all look effortless. You love her and hate her at the same time….and would like nothing more than to be her.

It’s called Perfection Projection. And its total B.S. It will destroy you, if it has not already.

"The habit of comparing ourselves mercilessly to others first forms at this age, and it proves central to the development and continuation of eating disorders and eating-disordered behavior," suggests Courtney Martin in Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters.

Are you like Gina? The willing subject of Martin’s "girl talk" research, who finds herself stating "Sure, she has a nice body. She doesn’t have to worry. It makes me feel self conscience standing next to her."

Well, I got news for you- I was that perfect girl. And it sucked, bigtime.

I was the one everyone hated standing next to. As I entered a room, I was looked up and down by every jealous female, feeling the mean spirited eyes of judgment through their fake smiles, all the while hearing their whispers; "She’s the model. She thinks she’s hot shit. She isn’t that pretty,"

All of it sucked. But more importantly, I never felt perfect. I never had less self esteem than when I was a model. Those six years of my life were the most trying on my self esteem and confidence, which got so low I never thought I would get my groove back.

I dressed down in baseball hats and no makeup for years. I hid my true self for the sake of others insecurities. Perhaps the saddest part is I know why I did it, and I am not sure I would change a thing. I wanted others to be comfortable with me. I didn’t want to stand out in a crowd, in fact after my modeling hell ride, I wanted to fade into oblivion.

We need compassion. True compassion for others. True understanding that there is no perfect, and a commitment to stop striving for it.

If you are longing to be another, you need to look yourself in the mirror today and ask why? Why are you so unhappy with what god gave you that you waste your time absorbed in self comparison.

Your issue is much deeper than your thinner, prettier friend that you wish you could push away from standing by your side.

Love,

mamaV

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Half full or half empty. How do you see the world?

You may have figured out by now I am a half full kind of gal, to a fault at times. Sometimes my optimism gets me so jazzed I am told to scale it back a notch, but hey, I’ll take it. Better than the alternative, right?

I see the good in people.

I see the bright side of situations.

I let things roll off my back.

I usually can’t hold a grudge even if I try.

I believe this is because I express my feelings, bluntly, yet sincerely, and move on. This doesn’t always have me winning popularity contests, but I don’t know any other way to be.

I believe optimism is a learned behavior. Are you willing to learn it or would you prefer to stay stuck in the muck of negativity?

If you are a half full, let’s hear your tips on how to cultivate optimism.

If you are a half empty, let’s hear your plan to work towards a more positive lifestyle.

Let’s not wallow in the wrongs that have been done, instead try to push through them, see how those wrongs will make you grow into a better person, a stronger person.

-mamaV

Quote of the day

"My dad set a great, bad example."

- my father.

(Photo credit: cypearl http://flickr.com/photos/cypearl/475006675/)

As I aways say, your life is now. Are you living today?

 Much has changed in these past few months, and I am not sure where I am headed at the moment. Then again none of us know what the future brings do we?

I’ve been consulting for a pretty cool social media company Sway and I posted to their blog for the first time today! Perhaps you will enjoy some of the more FUN topics I will be discussing over there so check it out. I wrote about the blogging process so I want to hear the perspective of some of you like Josie, TS, and yes even you Vanessa!

Also, we have a new product launching in the next few weeks….stay tuned all you web junkies, you are going to LOVE it and I could use your help testing.

My web 2.0 project is limping along, it’s a” My Space” for families…that I have been working on for two years now.

Kids are great, husband is the best. Summer has been treating us well. I have been going totally nuts on yard work…great for us anxiety ridden individuals. Dig through some dirt, rip up the weeds, hack down a few bushes and you’ll be good as new!

OPEN FORUM IS BACK!

I am going to go ahead and open up the forum, so you can all start chatting there again. I have time now to check in from time to time, so I’ll be in an out.

Your turn, how have you all been?

I  love you all.
mamaV

I’ve been working on a little publication for the last 6 months or so. It got nixed.

 Various reasons, but bottom line is its not going to happen. This knocked the wind out of my sails more than I expected. I’ll get my groove back, but for now, I am laying low. I’m a blogger not a writer.

Everything happens for a reason.

Not a doubt in my mind.

-mamaV

As 2007 comes to a close, I thought we would like to revisit this year in dreaded pictures. These are great, bad examples girls. Hold them up as what you are determined not to be.

Supermodel weighing in at under 100 pounds, standing 5’9, hailed a frickin hero.

Former model dead in dear friends arms. A 60 pound grown woman and no one blinks.

No words.

Top Model Barbie. And we thought regular old barbie was too skinny.

Mother, friend, doctor…taken from rising star son by a fat sucking surgeon. If only she would have known how truly beautiful she was.

Spine of anorexic mannequin whispers to you “size zero.”

Teeny Vogue promotes toothpick legs driving home thinspiration message to teenage girls worldwide.

Size 0 pills are all the rage.

Jennifer Hewlett’s ass is evaluated by the world.

Diabetics discover no shots = no fat.

Anorexic child paraded on American TV for our viewing pleasure.

RETRACTION AUGUST 16, 2008

I received a heartfelt message from the mother of the child above, she said the following:

We did not take pleasure having to go on our local news to try to raise money for our daughters treatment when insurance turned us down.  We did the only thing we could think of ,which was to bring to light the fact that our state insurance would not pay for a 10 year old to go into treatment because it was out of state. We told our story , and because we came forward ,the treatment center  was willing to help us. I would not have talked openly about our story otherwise. If I had to do it again I would , because it not only helped us but through my journey I have met other families in our situation.   I am all for the fact that you want to bring ED to light and show how bad they are , but we really don’t like the
 fact that it sounds like we took pleasure in going public, because we didn’t. We have had to battle this illness for 2 years now and it is the hardest thing our family has ever had to go through.  I just wish that you would think about what the families might think when they see what you put about their child on your site.

RESPONSE FROM MAMAV:

Thank you for reaching out to me and explaining your story. I will post a follow up on your daughter and revise the caption as you have requested. How is your daughter doing? Have you been able get all the help you need?
 
My blog is sharp and cutting. I feel it needs to be to express the point of desparation we are in with this disease and culture. I do not intend to hurt individuals such and yourself, and for that I sincerely apologize for hurting you and your family. You have been through enough already. I hope you will accept my sincere apology.

Size 8 is the new full size according to ANTM. Tyra also manages to make old horrifying (notice reflection in mirror).

Guys join in the anorexic fun.

Pro Ana Halloween costume makes its debut. Add some fake jugs and we are in for some fun.

Supermodel Gemma Ward put to shame for her chubby appearance.

Anorexic poses for billboard in Italy, causing nothing more than a blip on the fashionista radar.

Ugly Betty beautified and skinnyfied on Glamour.

Mum kisses her little girl goodbye as she sends the 12 year old to the wolves.

Young woman holds coins and rings in her collarbones and shouts to mamaV “it was a joke!” (still don’t get it).

Spooky models remind girls far and wide runway modeling is not for the faint of heart.

Tunsdall kicks ass when she is told she is “too old to be a rockstar” at 26 years of age.

Faith Hill’s imperfections gleefully brushed away for her adoring fans.

“Skinny bitches” continue to shoot odd pictures of themselves, in various awkward poses and launch them to cyberspace with total disregard of conseqence.

Gil falls silent. But rumor has it she is still with us.

Hollywood knob Perez Hilton makes fun of mental illness and is applauded for his efforts.

Beauty lives on through murder and mayhem, thanks to Tyra Banks deeming this image “fierce!”

The notion of aging gracefully disapears from society.

New Beauty magazine offers every possible way to nip, tuck, and butcher your god given body.

MamaV blows the dust off her 1987 Vogue to remind us where we have been.

We are all still here. We are trying and we are hopeful.

-mamaV