Tag Archives: hollywood

Pro Ana Privacy, part 2

27 Nov

Since Pro Ana Privacy is the most visited post these days, I figured it was time for another go around. Especially since I can really feel the love in the comments.


For what it’s worth; I heard a story on the radio that I wanted to share.

A talented young woman recently applied for a job just after she graduated from college. A dream job really, everything she ever wanted. Mom and Dad were so proud.


Little did she know that some pictures that she uploaded to the web many years prior would come back to haunt her.

One in a bikini.
Several in her underwear.


One doing a frickin’ back-bend in her undies.

Not good. No job. Worst of all? No way to remove them – ever.


This thing is permanent girls. It’s called the world wide web and once you CHOOSE to serve yourself up for the taking, you are gone, your privacy is gone, and your future opportunities are at stake.


Think about it next time you want to ask one of your dear ana friends “Do I look fat?”


Kanya West's Mama Dies of Beauty Attack

23 Nov


Dr. Donna West had absolutely everything going for her. Her son a rap star, herself a retired English Professor for Chicago State University, a recently published author, co-founder of Kanye’s Foundation dedicated to improving the nation’s drop out rates.

Why then is she dead?

Beauty attack at 58 years of age.

With fame and money comes vanity. Her quest is a familiar story, an aging woman looking to take off a few curves here and there. Except for Dr. Donna, she suffered complications. She will now miss out on all life had in store for her and it is  doubtful her son will ever be the same. 

Are we nuts?

I mean seriously, how has this society been conned into believing that sucking fat out of various parts of our bodies is normal? Then we take it a step further and inject that same fat elsewhere. I just don’t get it. There is so much at stake.

I’ve had a few times in my life I have had the opportunity to alter what I looked like.

At 16, my agent offered to spring for a boob job. I didn’t even blink before responding ”Hell no.” Then at around 30 years of age, I could no longer wear my contacts, so I seriously considered laser eye surgery. No go. As a mother, I would never, ever forgive myself if I could not see my children grow up, so asking a doctor to take a knife to my eyeballs was out of the question.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming Donna West for her actions. I feel very sad for her. Sad that she took the bullet. Sad that 11million people will follow in her footsteps this year as they go about their beauty quest. Sad that as a society we just are not getting it.

Are you one to think there’s no harm in a nip and tuck here and there?

Read Backlash, by Susan Faludi.


I will never forget reading this book in college for a Women’s Study course I took. Faludi outlines, in agonizing detail, the great lengths we are willing to look pretty.  Honest to god, if you can get through this book and still believe cosmetic plastic surgery is the route to go;

I give up.


The Pro Ana Experiment

8 Nov


 We’ve created quite a little research pool here. The way this community picks apart topics, and analyzes issues is truly commendable. I don’t know about you, but I am still smiling about it, and I am passionate about heading into Year 2 as mamaV.  

I look forward to seeing who is saying what, who is pissed at me today, and what you all believe to be life’s truths. Why? Because it challenges our minds, our thoughts, and opinions. Between you and I, I am one of the most wishy washy people you’d ever meet (stop laughing panda07).

Give me a great debate on a topic and I am most easily swayed. In my personal and business life, I give people WAY too many chances, and I am optimistic to a fault. This personality trait has gotten me burned time and time again, but I keep doing it. I am just wired this way.

BUT, there are a few topics in life I am stone cold set on. It is this side of mamaV you see here and these topics drive the passion behind this blog. 

In the past year, one topic that continually gets debated with great passion is;



To tell you the truth, sometimes the discussions get my head spinning so much, I really couldn’t tell you. But at the end of the day I always come back to this;

If you are looking for support, don’t lean on others with your same problem.

Trust me, this path is bad news.

I just don’t buy it, and no amount of tongue lashing has torn me away from this opinion. Why girls, for the love of God, would you think that when you have an eating disorder, the direction to head for support is to a bunch of eating disordered women?

You’ll sink deeper.



Kristi4 is an example of this and her journal serves a very important purpose. Her life message is plain and simple – don’t turn to pro ana forums for support, instead run, as fast as you can, in the other direction. I have refused to edit what I have written about her, much to Josie’s dismay, because I know in my heart I have written this out of kindness, not hatred.

I’ve read Kristi’s journal too many times to count, and I am always left with the same impression. Here was a young woman (she was young, only in her 30′s) trying to lead a pro ana “support” community. Although she was surrounded by others in her same situation, she felt alone, depressed and ultimately suicidal. I can’t help but think if she would have turned outside for help that she may still be here today.

This topic gets to the core of why I do this blog, to create forum for discussion, inspiration, and thoughts beyond your eating disorders. There is a whole life out there waiting for you and I am fighting like hell to help you find it.

So if you find yourself part of the pro ana “support” community, I’d like to know this…..as Dr. Phil would say “How’s it workin’ for ya?”


Tyra's Twisted Logic

15 Oct


Let’s continue our discussion on Sarah Hartshorne, the size 8 “plus sized” model on America’s Next Top Model, since the first post brought out such great thinking and debate!


Sarah Hartshorne, the too fat for the big time “real model”

Many of you pointed me back to Kerry Elizabeth’s post and suggested I should get my facts straight on this situation before posting about it. True, I did not see the show, my comments came from seeing Sarah speaking on Entertainment Tonight (for the life of me I can’t find it! It’s on youtube somewhere).

Here is what Kerry Elizabeth had to say;

“In the first episode of this cycle she (Tyra) made several comments about how “she (Sarah) wasn’t “plus enough” to be a plus model” that she was “on the thin” side,
but instead of saying “lose weight” to be a high fashion model…or instead of saying “gain weight” to be a true plus size, they are keeping her at her normal weight.


Then they said “if it’s not plus what is she?” and Ms. Jay said “real size modeling” and Tyra said-”i like that, i’m a real size model too!” …..so i guess i dont really see her as saying size 8 is plus.

and on top of that in the first epidsode….Last night’s episode during the deliberation- when they looked at Sarah’s picture, they said they loved her, but it makes them Upset that she’s LOST weight. because its straying away from the idea that she was going to be herself-this “real sized” model. “

so…while i practically am always in favor of your posts and the beliefs behind them…
this is one i dont completely agree with, especially after i’ve watched all of the episodes so far. and i really do believe that Tyra is on our side of this battle..

 Here is my rebuttal:

What is Sarah the “real model” going to be doing after the show?

She is too big to land any “real” modeling jobs, too small to work the plus model circuit so she will need to find a….real job.

For those of you that cringed when I said Sarah is “too big,” why did you? Sarah is the exact size as I am. I know I am not “big,” but I know I am ”too big” to be a model according to today’s standards. Are you able to make this differentiation, or somewhere deep down does this make you feel like you don’t measure up? 


Tyra planned this….poorly.

This is a planned ploy. Do you think Sarah was just a random pick for the show? The producers deliberately picked her so they could make this point, and they did a sucky job at it.  No doubt Tyra speaks out about her objection to today’s modeling standards, after all she no longer fits the bill, and she has been berated by the press for it (totally unfair in my view).

Here’s my issue with Tyra- she could be doing so much more, but she is falling back on her modeling roots, and that bothers me. She is placing herself out front and center as a role model, choosing the next top model, yet trying to make this weak side commentary about how things “should be.”

Seems like a totally lame attempt for change, no? 


Why are you all watching America’s Top Model?

It would seem to me that this program would not be the best for your psyche when you are dealing with and ED, but hey, that’s just me.

What does attract you to this show? Pure and simple entertainment, or a desire to watch the pretty people and make yourself feel like crap? Just curious.

Bottom line, Tyra needs a new business manager. This girl could work wonders with the right cause, right time, right place.

But hey, who am I to judge. Tyra’s raking in the millions thanks to all of you who tune in each week.

As always, to each her own.


Size 8 is the new Size 14!

11 Oct

Tyra Banks is off her rocker. After being stalked and humilated by the paparazzi for her weight, she turns around and redefines “plus size” as a skinny mini size 8.


We are all now “plus-sized” thanks to America’s Next Top Model show and the model of the moment Sarah Hartshorne!


Sarah leads the plus sized parade prancing in at:

Height: 5’10

Weight: 150 pounds

Size : 8

Hang on, that’s me, that’s my size. I’m confused.

As most of you know, when I was modeling the size requirement was size 8. I am a size 8 now, but I am 30 pounds heavier. Hmm…..

Have I been duped?

Did the sizes change?

Did the scale change?

Did I fry too many brain cells starvation dieting?


(Let’s not even go into the image in the mirror…oh the horror of aging!)

Sarah is no plus size and this is a load of crap. Why the hell did she accept the title “plus size” when she knows she doesn’t fit the bill? I guess she was not willing to miss her 15 minutes of fame.

Girls, this is bullshit. Don’t buy into it.

If you do, you’ll be sunk like the rest of the pro anorexia suckers that paste on their smile as they die inside from starvation and self hatred. They will quickly reel you into their misery filled existence because they need company, reassurance, and purpose to keep their hope alive. Their heads filled with nothing but desire to become someone else.


(Ugly, Ugly, and Ugly)

It’s a dead end. Pro ana’s don’t care about you- they care about themselves. This is simply about one thing, and one thing only only - self esteem. Starving yourself will not grow it. Let’s be real already.

Bones are not attractive.

Bones are not sexy.

Bones are not cool.

Vanity. Damn ugly.



Thanks to Tipster Laura for this story.

Yes Vanessa, I had to drag Pro Ana’s into this story.

*All photos complements of the World Wide PUBLIC Web! 

Britney the lard ass, sex pot.

5 Oct

I have been pondering this whole Britney Spears saga since her painful performance at the MTV awards a few weeks back. The entire discussion of her being a lard ass was so beyond my comprehension, I didn’t feel a need to discuss it.  

But stumbling on her new video ”Gimme More” this morning, featuring Britney humping a mirror, put me completely over the edge. 

The name of the song is slutty. 


The first words uttered are “it’s Britney bitch.”


The video looks like it was shot is some rat hole strip joint.


And Britney….well, it ain’t pretty.


“Gimme More” Strip Show Video

May I ask that the hell is going on here?

We have a young woman, reportedly with a drug problem, being totally and completely exploited for her sexuality, and we are all just watching the collapse of this human being, salivating.

I am not a prude, but c’mon already. Did she really need a video, shot in a strip joint, moaning & humping in all out hooker garb?!

Here’s the kicker: The song is topping the charts. We are one classy society people.

Here’s the questions I have for you:

1 What makes a woman want to flaunt herself in this manner (drugs aside)?

I realize I was never really cut out to be a model. I was totally embarrassed to give the camera sexy, pursed looks.  It just felt weird and silly to me. I recall my agent telling me I needed to be more sexy, at 16 mind you, and coaching in his ugly french accent ”you have to make them want you.”

Want me for what? Rape? Porn? Bondage?

2) What is this video expressing to young women?

Same old crap, use your body cause its all you got. This is why you are on the earth girls. Got it, flaunt it. Sex is all that matters.

What happened to modesty? What happened to grace and class?

3) What does this say about us?

We are a country totally and completely obsessed with celebrity and fame. We chase these stars unto the ground, waiting for them to crack, and when they do we live and breath their pain.

We wish we were them. We starve, nip and tuck ourselves to be them.

I’ll let you in on a little secret…..they hate themselves, we hate ourselves, and the world goes round and round.  Nuts. The whole thing is totally nuts, and I don’t want any part of it.

Britney, bless your heart child. I hope you find your way,


Hey, FAT ass!*

2 Oct

I am often asked my views on the obesity epidemic in this country, and up until now my response has been “different problem, different solution.”

But then, I started thinking how obesity is not a totally different problem – it’s just another form of disordered eating.

We are country full of disordered eaters. Marketers are pumping out new diets to masses, and we gladly fork over $$$ in a pathetic, desperate search for happiness. We accept any and all side effects in order to lose weight, such as the risk of shitting in your pants with a beauty of a drug called Alli.

Why are we at war with our bodies? 

What is an eating disorder anyway?

How much of our desire to be thin is driven by what others think of us?


Holidays are food fests, and Sunday football games are just another reason to fill our faces. When I think of an obese person and a person with an eating disorder sitting through a family event, I visualize the similar thoughts spinning in their heads; 

Should I eat? I will not eat that. Screw it! I’m fat and a loser. Who cares? I’ll eat it, but then fast tomorrow. Or run an extra mile. Or purge. Or….

(All the while the little girl’s ears are keenly tuned into their oblivious Aunts, Grandmas, and even their own Mother gab on and on about their fat asses….the little ones finger rolls of skin underneath their t-shirts and stare at their pie as their new arch enemy).

Sad state of affairs. But do you know what is even more depressing? We don’t support each other. We mock each other, look each other up and down and judge, judge, judge.

C’mon ladies. Women are caddy as hell. We make this situation worse. We revel in a friend or celebrity gaining weight (ie. the slaughter of Britney Spears) and we are green eyed monsters when a friend is looking good.

Why? Is gossip fun? Well, it’s not. Its cruel, and frankly it’s evil. Strong word but necessary.

I’ve had enough of fat jokes. They are not funny. Even the word “fat” is offensive. I prefer overweight, and I have taught my children the same. I have compassion for obese individuals, just as I do for those with eating disorders.

And you should too. Listen to this quite popular blogger talk about fat people and look at the pure satisfaction in her eyes. Why does she get such pleasure from other people’s pain? What have obese individuals done to her?


She states the “skinny” are oppressed. Her argument is a stretch, but ok, she has a right to her opinion. The main reason I point to this young woman is because she reflects the passion behind the divide between the underweight and overweight in this country

And finally, I feel that unless a person’s health is being affected by their weight, so be it. Let ’em be already. I like those with some meat on their bones (lord knows all I do is look at twigs all day for this blog, it gets quite sickening). I say, as long you are happy with yourself inside, awesome, be you. Let’s live LIFE….and everyone get off the FAT attacks.

To quote a phrase from good ole’ Rodney King “can’t we all just get along?”


*Delibrate Title. Mean spirited stories draw in readers. God forbid someone calls you a fat ass, but when someone else suffers this insult it’s like bring it on!

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