Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

Video commentary on the Faces of Pro Ana saga that occured over the weekend. Videos are a bit choppy, but I am busy as heck and I wanted to get these posted.

 [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKodYgNRCWk]

Part 2 (camera died on me!)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3u0Mi6NTMU]

 Looking forward to your response,

-mamaV

**Excerpt from The Hip Bone Handbook, how to be anorexic.

I started blogging back in 2006. What started as a total whim, has grown to be a part of me. The girls of my blog community created the nickname “mamaV” and quickly took hold of my heart. The vast majority of these young women find my blog while they secretly search for pro-anorexia online.

Pro-Anorexia?

The thought of Anorexia, as a lifestyle, is so totally preposterous, I have a hard time saying it myself. Most adults are dumbfounded by the topic, as I was when I first caught wind of it.

This is not some random, underground culture. A simple search for the term on Google returns over a million pages of starvation driven content. We are talking deliberate, active, starvation here.

Pro-anorexia, a.k.a. ”pro-ana or wannarexia,”  preys on the weak, the young, the insecure. The more the pro-ana lifestyle takes hold of a young mind, followers actually start to refer to “Ana,” their fictionary god who serves to justify their actions.

This topic is ugly and disturbing.

Do not turn away and leave this one for someone else to deal with, it ain’t going away.

These are OUR girls.

You can address this issue head on, in your everyday life, through the interactions of every young person you are in contact with. You need to be aware of what is going on in the minds of young people today, in order to recognize the deadly habits of a pro-anorexic individual, perhaps even save a precious life before it is sucked into the pro-ana culture.

THIN equals beauty in this society.

We are raising a generation of of young women who would rather die, than be one of the ugly ones.

Life goals are not to be smart, or happy, or strong.

Thin is it. And it’s pathetic.

I can’t sit here, silent, when we have healthy, young, capable lives being pissed away while they are busy collaborating online on how to starve themselves to death.

Can you?

-mamaV

As 2007 comes to a close, I thought we would like to revisit this year in dreaded pictures. These are great, bad examples girls. Hold them up as what you are determined not to be.

Supermodel weighing in at under 100 pounds, standing 5’9, hailed a frickin hero.

Former model dead in dear friends arms. A 60 pound grown woman and no one blinks.

No words.

Top Model Barbie. And we thought regular old barbie was too skinny.

Mother, friend, doctor…taken from rising star son by a fat sucking surgeon. If only she would have known how truly beautiful she was.

Spine of anorexic mannequin whispers to you “size zero.”

Teeny Vogue promotes toothpick legs driving home thinspiration message to teenage girls worldwide.

Size 0 pills are all the rage.

Jennifer Hewlett’s ass is evaluated by the world.

Diabetics discover no shots = no fat.

Anorexic child paraded on American TV for our viewing pleasure.

RETRACTION AUGUST 16, 2008

I received a heartfelt message from the mother of the child above, she said the following:

We did not take pleasure having to go on our local news to try to raise money for our daughters treatment when insurance turned us down.  We did the only thing we could think of ,which was to bring to light the fact that our state insurance would not pay for a 10 year old to go into treatment because it was out of state. We told our story , and because we came forward ,the treatment center  was willing to help us. I would not have talked openly about our story otherwise. If I had to do it again I would , because it not only helped us but through my journey I have met other families in our situation.   I am all for the fact that you want to bring ED to light and show how bad they are , but we really don’t like the
 fact that it sounds like we took pleasure in going public, because we didn’t. We have had to battle this illness for 2 years now and it is the hardest thing our family has ever had to go through.  I just wish that you would think about what the families might think when they see what you put about their child on your site.

RESPONSE FROM MAMAV:

Thank you for reaching out to me and explaining your story. I will post a follow up on your daughter and revise the caption as you have requested. How is your daughter doing? Have you been able get all the help you need?
 
My blog is sharp and cutting. I feel it needs to be to express the point of desparation we are in with this disease and culture. I do not intend to hurt individuals such and yourself, and for that I sincerely apologize for hurting you and your family. You have been through enough already. I hope you will accept my sincere apology.

Size 8 is the new full size according to ANTM. Tyra also manages to make old horrifying (notice reflection in mirror).

Guys join in the anorexic fun.

Pro Ana Halloween costume makes its debut. Add some fake jugs and we are in for some fun.

Supermodel Gemma Ward put to shame for her chubby appearance.

Anorexic poses for billboard in Italy, causing nothing more than a blip on the fashionista radar.

Ugly Betty beautified and skinnyfied on Glamour.

Mum kisses her little girl goodbye as she sends the 12 year old to the wolves.

Young woman holds coins and rings in her collarbones and shouts to mamaV “it was a joke!” (still don’t get it).

Spooky models remind girls far and wide runway modeling is not for the faint of heart.

Tunsdall kicks ass when she is told she is “too old to be a rockstar” at 26 years of age.

Faith Hill’s imperfections gleefully brushed away for her adoring fans.

“Skinny bitches” continue to shoot odd pictures of themselves, in various awkward poses and launch them to cyberspace with total disregard of conseqence.

Gil falls silent. But rumor has it she is still with us.

Hollywood knob Perez Hilton makes fun of mental illness and is applauded for his efforts.

Beauty lives on through murder and mayhem, thanks to Tyra Banks deeming this image “fierce!”

The notion of aging gracefully disapears from society.

New Beauty magazine offers every possible way to nip, tuck, and butcher your god given body.

MamaV blows the dust off her 1987 Vogue to remind us where we have been.

We are all still here. We are trying and we are hopeful.

-mamaV

A time bomb was ticking. It was time to face the facts.

Neck problems have plagued me the past decade. Physical therapy, trigger point injections, herbal medicine, yoga….you name it, I’ve tried it. Back in 2006, my mom convinced me to have an MRI, and what do you know, they found something.

A benign tumor, not the worst thing in the world. But the placement was a bit odd, since the thing had grown inside a vertebrae of my neck. Was this the source of my constant, sometime debilitating neck tension and headaches?

I set out on a journey to find the answer.

Opinion 1:
Top surgeon in the city, a bit cocky, but hey, you gotta be confident if you are going to be operating on spines all day. He recommends injecting cement into my vertebrae, in order to essentially “push” the tumor out. The bad news is he has to cut straight through the front of my throat, possibly affecting speech and swallowing.

Not an option.

Opinion 2:
Another highly regarded surgeon, 25 years experience, and nice demeanor. I trusted this guy. He looked me in the eye and said “If you were my wife, I would be concerned. You have a time bomb ticking.”

He goes on to say that his main concern is that this tumor, yet benign, may have grown through the back of the bone. Worst case scenario? The bone cracks, emergency surgery required, possible paralysis from the waist down.

Paralyzed? That’s a word you can’t quite swallow as a 38 year old mom. My kids. All I saw was my kids, and my ability to still see them, touch them, watch them. Ok, waist down. I can deal with that. There’s a hell of a lot worse health conditions to deal with right?

I haggle around these thoughts, these options, and possibilities for a good 6 months. I am procrastinating, I know this. I tell my husband, my dad, to stay on my case, make sure I follow through and call Mayo.

Opinion 3:
Mayo neurology department. I arrive in the Gonda building on Wednesday December 18th. Its the crack of dawn, after trekking the family on a 4 1/2 hour drive the night before. My husband and kids are back at the hotel pool, while I make my way up to the 8th floor to face my fate.

First, the Neurosurgeon sees me, runs his tests, asks a multitude of questions. He leaves, and comes back in the room joined by a smiley faced Neurologist.

“Have your prior doctors explained your films?” he asks me.
“Ahh, kind of” I respond.

They proceed by explaining to me where my tumor is, and why it is not endangering my spinal cord. I think I am getting the message, but I am hesitant to believe it. What about the “time bomb” and bone cracking paralysis?

“You shouldn’t even be here. This condition is benign, not the source of your muscle tension and head pain. Your vertebrae is stable, and I fully expect it to remain that way. I never say never to my patients, so I will say this. If your situation was to lead to paralysis due to spinal cord impingement, this would be a case we would record in medical journals due to the rarity of the occurrence.”

And with that, Smiley Face hands me his card, tells me to call anytime with questions, and wishes me a Merry Christmas.

I sit. I stare. I am stunned.

I’ve won the lottery. It’s more than I could have ever imagined,

mamaV