Body Image Activist, Eating Disorders mamaVISION

Call it disordered eating. Call it a diet. Call it balanced lifestyle. It’s all whacked.

This was a topic of conversation over the weekend at a blogger meeting in Chicago. I had the pleasure to meet up with a group of women bloggers including my longtime friend Stephanie from BISJ, and new friends Melissa from Talesofadisorderedeater, PastaQueen the author of "Half-Assed", Linda from FatDontWrinkle (gotta love that name).

I realized I come from a unique perspective because I have never "dieted" (yeah, yeah, I know "skinny bitch," you can say it). I went from normal Midwestern girl, to psycho-workout-starvation-freak, right back to normal Midwestern woman. Trust me, I don’t take it for granted. 

I sat and listened what it takes to maintain a goal weight on a Weight Watchers program. The measuring, the calorie journals, food calculations before every bite. It’s your basic time-consuming, mind-numbing, obsessive behaviors necessary for lifetime diet success. Hmmm….sounds quite familiar doesn’t it?

Here’s the difference, at least from the "Weight Watcher" girl perspective-

1) They aren’t deadly thin.

2) They don’t purge.

Don’t worry, I piped in with my big mouth to say "being thin is not a prerequisite to an ED, nor is purging."

I can’t tell you how many times I have been emailed by frustrated EDNOS sufferers with this very same thought. How many girls have posted here saying they were sent home from the hospital, after finally confiding their eating disorder "mind", only to be sent home because they were not "anorexically thin?"

At the end of the day, the whole thing just made me sad. It’s sad that the most fun I had with a group of women in a long time was around a table relating on eating behaviors.

The worst part, I am afraid, is that all of this, every single, sick part of it – is simply part of being a girl.

-mamaV

I am a bit behind the news these days due to job constraints, but I figured you would all like a chance to comment on the latest celebrity reaction to the dreaded, EVIL CELLULITE SAGA.

Former beauty, turned lard ass Jennifer Love Hewitt defends herself against the legal stalkers who snapped her images during a vacation to Hawaii, stating for the record her ”size 2 is not fat!”

Not sure what her size has to do with the argument, by hey, she tried. She also posted a nice message on her blog to all of us fellow porkers to “stay strong.”

My bet is Jennifer Love turns up about 30 pounds lighter a few months from now. Would you blame her? Who the hell could take this kind of heat? Not I.

Let’s discuss cellulite for a moment. Why do we fight it? Why is it deemed so bad, ugly and horrid? Who decided this? There is no cream, lipo, or other bullshit treatment that is going to get rid of it – so let it go and live your damn life already ladies.

 Just $30 of your hard earned money will get you this con job in a jar by Sephora, the beauty marketing geniuses dedicated to stealing you blind.

Even when I was a bone, I still had it. Trust me, it was there. Now that I am a normal weight, still there, don’t care.

Be friend your damn cellulite already and move on for gods sake. I have spent the last two summers at Girl Scout Camp, pleading with the other mom’s to hop in the pond with me and the troop. They always claim one excuse or another, as they sweat to death in the sun, all while their eyes tell me their real story.

They are scared. Scared of their cellulite. Scared of what others will think. Scared to be called the F-word.

This saddens me deeply, because I know all they are missing. Worse yet, I know the message being sent to the girls – hide your body, its ugly and fat.

I hope for you, your day of freedom comes soon. The day that you catch a glimpse of your rear in the mirror, and smile, is a glorious awakening.  

It’s all for naught,

mamaV

This woman really needs no introduction. I think we can all listen and learn.

-mamaV

I am often asked my views on the obesity epidemic in this country, and up until now my response has been “different problem, different solution.”

But then, I started thinking how obesity is not a totally different problem – it’s just another form of disordered eating.

We are country full of disordered eaters. Marketers are pumping out new diets to masses, and we gladly fork over $$$ in a pathetic, desperate search for happiness. We accept any and all side effects in order to lose weight, such as the risk of shitting in your pants with a beauty of a drug called Alli.

Why are we at war with our bodies? 

What is an eating disorder anyway?

How much of our desire to be thin is driven by what others think of us?

Holidays are food fests, and Sunday football games are just another reason to fill our faces. When I think of an obese person and a person with an eating disorder sitting through a family event, I visualize the similar thoughts spinning in their heads; 

Should I eat? I will not eat that. Screw it! I’m fat and a loser. Who cares? I’ll eat it, but then fast tomorrow. Or run an extra mile. Or purge. Or….

(All the while the little girl’s ears are keenly tuned into their oblivious Aunts, Grandmas, and even their own Mother gab on and on about their fat asses….the little ones finger rolls of skin underneath their t-shirts and stare at their pie as their new arch enemy).

Sad state of affairs. But do you know what is even more depressing? We don’t support each other. We mock each other, look each other up and down and judge, judge, judge.

C’mon ladies. Women are caddy as hell. We make this situation worse. We revel in a friend or celebrity gaining weight (ie. the slaughter of Britney Spears) and we are green eyed monsters when a friend is looking good.

Why? Is gossip fun? Well, it’s not. Its cruel, and frankly it’s evil. Strong word but necessary.

I’ve had enough of fat jokes. They are not funny. Even the word “fat” is offensive. I prefer overweight, and I have taught my children the same. I have compassion for obese individuals, just as I do for those with eating disorders.

And you should too. Listen to this quite popular blogger talk about fat people and look at the pure satisfaction in her eyes. Why does she get such pleasure from other people’s pain? What have obese individuals done to her?

She states the “skinny” are oppressed. Her argument is a stretch, but ok, she has a right to her opinion. The main reason I point to this young woman is because she reflects the passion behind the divide between the underweight and overweight in this country

And finally, I feel that unless a person’s health is being affected by their weight, so be it. Let ’em be already. I like those with some meat on their bones (lord knows all I do is look at twigs all day for this blog, it gets quite sickening). I say, as long you are happy with yourself inside, awesome, be you. Let’s live LIFE….and everyone get off the FAT attacks.

To quote a phrase from good ole’ Rodney King “can’t we all just get along?”

-mamaV 

*Delibrate Title. Mean spirited stories draw in readers. God forbid someone calls you a fat ass, but when someone else suffers this insult it’s like bring it on!