Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

The mother of Isabelle Caro, the anorexic French model who died last year, has committed suicide according to Daily Mail. Read the full story about Isabelle here.

‘[Marie] felt guilty for having put my daughter in the Bichat Hospital. My daughter did not want to go to that hospital,’ Isabelle’s step-father Christian told Swiss newspaper 20 Minutes.

In 2008 Isabelle released an autobiography called The Little Girl Who Didn’t Want to Get Fat in which she wrote that her mother appeared to resent her growing up.

What a horribly sad story. There really is not much else to say is there?

mV

XOXO

Thanks to Amanda and Elizabeth for this thought provoking image from their FB page. If you were to build a collage such as this for yourself, what would you put in it?

As I looked at this, I noticed the medical diagnosis in the background, which had my mind expanding into that arena, as well as all the social labels we put on ourselves. Here is what I would include in a collage about me;

Pictures of models since I’ll never shake that label. This is one that I had to let go of a long time ago because if I tried to “live up” to societies expectations of what I am supposed to look like, I would die trying.

(more…)

Trust me, I have many embarrassing images from my modeling days (the worst being when a cokehead “artist” shot an image of me in a black cape, soaking wet, with eyes pitched wide open and evil like some sort a witch kid).

BUT, it wasn’t quite as bad as this, um, fashion statement?

Send your fashion freak images to mamavision@gmail.com

Source: Jezebel

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=I9827SL5an4]

Video commentary on the Faces of Pro Ana saga that occured over the weekend. Videos are a bit choppy, but I am busy as heck and I wanted to get these posted.

 [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKodYgNRCWk]

Part 2 (camera died on me!)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3u0Mi6NTMU]

 Looking forward to your response,

-mamaV

I thought I’d help Josie drive some traffic to her cute, little post on My Pro Ana Hero!

This is my ~ThInSpIrAtIoN~

That’s me by the way, 21, skinny and miserable, sent to Miami by my NY agent to shoot with some pervert photographer. I ate nothing for 3 days until my self discipline broke and I mowed down a box of Total cereal, then hit the pool for a marathon swim. Good times.

Hey, I feel that spark coming back!

Look out Josie!

-mamaV

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=uJyHFl1ox8U]

Tipster Izzy directed to me to Faces of Pro Ana  (fixed the link it works now). I guess I am not the only one swiping images of Pro Ana girls on public web sites and displaying them to make a point.

I personally think this one holding the skull is particularly creative.

Sunday 3/30 1:30pm picture removed per request of individual shown. 

Can this get anymore psycho? Or is today’s youth so bored that they cling on to some grim reality for the shock factor?

Honestly, this is getting so tired. I didn’t think I would ever say this, but after nearly two years of blogging on this topic I have no idea why I am doing this. 

-mamaV

What is the most ridiculous thing you have every tried to lose weight?

Jezebel recently posted on a Glamour Rag article dedicated to this topic, “Scary Diet Tricks No Woman Should Try!”

Before you all freak and tell me that I am providing tips and tricks for pro anas or individuals with ED’s please just stop. The web is crawling with this crap so don’t delude yourself into believing I am revealing some mystery here. Plus not one item on the Glamour list was new to me, so my guess you all won’t be surprised either.

My lamest attempt at weight loss?

Baby food. Who the hell knows how I even came up with this idea, but we all know the mind does strange things when deliberately starved. Didn’t taste bad really, but the vision of a teenage girl walking down the street chomping down strained peas from a mini glass Gerber jar is rather psycho.

Your turn,

-mamaV 

Tipster Tina led me to a great article in Forbes about the path to SuperModel Fame. This entire story reminded me of something I have been wanting to do for a while.

First, let’s set the record straight on a few things regarding my oh-so-glamorous past;

Yes, I was recruited to be a model in Paris, France at age 16. Let me tell you what this means – nada. It doesn’t mean squat. To the outside world it’s like “wow, you modeled in Paris! Holy crap, you were big time!”

I wasn’t big time, I wasn’t even small time. I wasn’t even one kernel on the cob (my husband came up with that analogy, we are cracking up as I write this).

It’s best to compare my status in the modeling world to the structure of Corporate America. 

You’ve got your big wig Chairman of the Board, phone ringing incessantly, crackberry glued to his palm, as he watches the company stock….tick, tock, tick, tock.  The A-Hole is filthy rich, and doesn’t give two shits about other human beings. His day is about money, fame, and prestige.

Cut to the dude in the company mail-room. In the basement, sorting through stacks of random envelopes. Mr. Mail sets out for his big day, delivering packages to coworkers backs, as they cower in their tiny cubicles, just too busy to turn around and greet this fellow coworker.

Mailroom dude doesn’t mean squat to Mr. Bigwig - not even on the damn radar, and never will be. He doesn’t exist.

As a model, I was mail-room guy.

This must be understood, so you all stop dreaming about being “America’s Next Top Model.

I was just one little girl, plucked out of my rinky-dink hometown, being used by one dirty old Modeling Agent to sell stuff. Sell sex, sell beauty, sell anything he could get away with. That was me and about 4o other “chosen ones” during the summer of 87′,  all random beauties trying to make a go of it in the big city.

Me, as a kid.

Sure, I posed for some catalogs, and magazines, a couple runway shows here and there – but who cares? The mags land in the garbage within a month and getting to that point was hell on wheels.

Pretty damn glamorous huh? It was a pile of crap I tell you, a total and complete pile of crap. Ahhh…I feel better getting that out, thanks for listening. 

On to the Forbes Top Ten Ways YOU! Can Be A Supermodel!:

1. Stop eating. Grow.
2. Be photogenic
3. Get signed.
4. Be quiet.
5. Don’t party. Don’t be a diva.
6. Befriend powerful people.
7. Date celebrities.
8. Expand your brand.
9. Now you can talk.
10. Don’t gain weight, ever.

mamaV’s add ons:

11. Take your clothes off.

12. Sleep with your modeling agent and/or booker.

13. Be serious arm candy.

14. Wear teeny tiny skirts to castings.

15. Get a boob job.

16. Sell your soul.

Ok that last one was dramatic, but I’m in a mood.

Still want to be a model?

God help ya.

-mamaV

P.S. song for the day

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB7pQpNx-F4]

Lauren Greenfield’s latest film “kids + money”strikes at the cord of the last post HollyHell and an earlier one focused on an $18K pair of jeans.

The question for today is are we completely nuts?

Image Source: Lauren Greenfield, kids + money

An original short film by award-winning filmmaker and photographer Lauren Greenfield, kids + moneyis a conversation with young people from diverse Los Angeles communities about the role of money in their lives.  From rich to poor, Pacific Palisades to East L.A., kids address how they are shaped by a culture of consumerism.  

“In L.A., the money is on the surface level. When you meet someone, it’s like, “Hi.  I’m this person. I’m rich,” or “Hi, I’m this person. I wish I was rich.”  It shows up everywhere.  How tan you are, what jewelry you’re wearing. Girls have $3000 book  bags just for school.  It doesn’t stop in high school—what car you drive, where you work, what kind of suit you are wearing. It’s a whole image thing that Hollywood  forces you to fit into.”

A family member once said to me “the more you make, the more you spend.” I don’t live by that motto. It’s pure guttony as far as I am concerned.

I prefer the simple life.

Simplicity is driving a 1997 Camry, knowing that you are squirreling away funds for your children’s education.

Simplicity is giving your children $50.00 each for a shopping spree after a job promotion, and watching them go completely wild in Toys R Us.

Simplicity is buying a Bose I-Pod dock for your husband, and watching his face as he hears the music streaming from it for the first time, and then wondering what took you so long to make the purchase.

Simplicity is bargain hunting. Hitting up Goodwill with your eight year old daughter while in LA on vacation, and walking out with a bag full of stuff for $48 bucks.

Simplicity is having a home you can afford. One that you have time to clean yourself, with a lawn that you take pride in trimming with your own bare hands.

Simplicity is living on one income, committing yourself to cutting all corners, in order to live the life you truly believe in.

Simplicity is looking out your bedroom window, and feeling like you live in a palace, as you remember the 900 sq. ft. home your mom and five siblings grew up in.

Simplicity is what you make it, it’s up to you to define it. I believe all of these temptations in front of us for a reason. It’s all very complicated for a reason.

How are you passing the test?

-mamaV

“Simplicity, simplicity” - Walden, Thoreau 

(I am no literary genius, I learned this one from my husband. Walden is about a dude who lives out in the woods for a long time, and learns to understand the basic, simplicity of life through nature. Crack it open at the library, you may find it interesting. We visited Walden pond on a vacation about 5 years back, it was cool to see the actual location and replica cabin where Thoreau wrote his book).

**Excerpt from The Hip Bone Handbook, how to be anorexic.

I started blogging back in 2006. What started as a total whim, has grown to be a part of me. The girls of my blog community created the nickname “mamaV” and quickly took hold of my heart. The vast majority of these young women find my blog while they secretly search for pro-anorexia online.

Pro-Anorexia?

The thought of Anorexia, as a lifestyle, is so totally preposterous, I have a hard time saying it myself. Most adults are dumbfounded by the topic, as I was when I first caught wind of it.

This is not some random, underground culture. A simple search for the term on Google returns over a million pages of starvation driven content. We are talking deliberate, active, starvation here.

Pro-anorexia, a.k.a. ”pro-ana or wannarexia,”  preys on the weak, the young, the insecure. The more the pro-ana lifestyle takes hold of a young mind, followers actually start to refer to “Ana,” their fictionary god who serves to justify their actions.

This topic is ugly and disturbing.

Do not turn away and leave this one for someone else to deal with, it ain’t going away.

These are OUR girls.

You can address this issue head on, in your everyday life, through the interactions of every young person you are in contact with. You need to be aware of what is going on in the minds of young people today, in order to recognize the deadly habits of a pro-anorexic individual, perhaps even save a precious life before it is sucked into the pro-ana culture.

THIN equals beauty in this society.

We are raising a generation of of young women who would rather die, than be one of the ugly ones.

Life goals are not to be smart, or happy, or strong.

Thin is it. And it’s pathetic.

I can’t sit here, silent, when we have healthy, young, capable lives being pissed away while they are busy collaborating online on how to starve themselves to death.

Can you?

-mamaV

2008 is starting out with a bang. Here’s a highlight of some leaders in the effort to bring some real, healthy, interesting perspective on beauty:

Real Magazine

Fed up with “Impossible Princesses,” Erin Young, 20 set out to create Real Magazine debuting this month in Australia. Her 18 year old sister Jean, joined in the effort, and together  they set up the magazine with funds from the State Government and distributed more than 5000 copies. The girls, from Stanhope, in north-central Victoria, are seeking sponsors for the second issue.

“I just wanted to be thinner. Even though I was so skinny I still thought I was fat. Every one of my friends in high school had some level of eating disorder and was worried about the way they looked,” Ms Young said as she explained her motivation behind her magazine.

Indigo

Indigo founder Leanne Koster with cover girl Gemma Patista, 14, at home in Barwon Heads.
Photo: Drew Ryan

Mother of two Leanne Koster founded Indigo, a glossy magazine for girls aged 10 to 14, with the catchline “Giving Girls a Voice”.  More than 250 schools have taken out subscriptions, and many of the stories — tackling topics such as cyber-bullying, self-esteem and fashion — are written by girls whose mothers are thrilled with a positive media role model.

Reality Diaries

It appears Dove is in it for the long haul, defining real beauty, creating the term “pro-age”, and now Reality Diaries. Their goal is to reach 5 million women by 2010.

The diaries follow the lives of several young women and highlight their struggles with self esteem, body image, and beauty. I’d like to see the production of this a bit less polished, but overall I think the message is great.

Are you media smart? Do the quiz, it’s kind of interesting (you should know that Dove is owned by Unilever, a company that owns several other beauty brands for both men and women. Some have issues with this, I do not, but I like to point it out since this topic tends to come up with I post about Dove).

Girl Scouts

The good ole’ Girl Scouts are still plugging along, strong as ever after 95 years. That’s really incredible if you think about it.

If you are not a Scout, join.

If you are, get more involved.

If you are a mom, be a leader.

The highlight of my year is when I lead my daughters troop for a week at camp. The sharing and experiences that happen out in the wilderness are something to be experienced. There still is something about getting away from it all that puts things in perspective.

So who do you think is doing a good job fighting for the “real beauty” cause?

-mamaV

Who ventures out without makeup? If not, why not?

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=2qmi_jdb4qc]

One of my friends recently told me her mothers perspective of makeup was that it only covers up your natural beauty,  that is why you look so “weird” to yourself without it. This was kind of a religious perspective against makeup, which I don’t buy, but I thought it was interesting none the less.

When I head out of the house, I generally don’t think all that much about what my face looks like, especially if I am going to the grocery store, Target, who cares really?  What have I got to hide?

When I do wear it, I generally find myself digging through my purse at stoplights. It’s just kind of a hassle, and I hate taking time to put it on. Sure, I like how I look with some makeup on, I just need it to be quick and easy.

In modeling, we weren’t allowed to wear makeup. This is why I crack up at ANTM, the girls are all jazzed up and made to believe they will need this skill in the modeling world. Magazines and photographers want to see you “clean faced,” nothing to hide behind, so the whole facade Tyra creates is bogus.

I always find it sad when I hear of a woman that won’t leave the house without makeup, or someone is so totally overdone while out shopping, that I wonder how long they spent in front of the mirror analyzing their imaginary imperfections. We put alot of pressure on ourselves don’t we?

Where do you  fit into this picture?

mamaV

I stumbled upon a book last weekend, Beauty Junkies by Alex Kuczynski. The stories told by this New York Times Style reporter are literally stunning.

Alex worked the beauty beat for years, in one of America’s most plastic obsessed cities, riddled with wannabes from all ages, and lifestyles. She tells of male lawyers obsessed with botox injections, because they need to have that perfect “poker face” in court.

Botox injections are recommended no more than every 6 months, but these dudes rotate dealers, I mean doctors, every 8-9 weeks for their necessary fix.

Liposuction for the feet, botox in the wrinkles of the palms. I wish I was kidding.  

And I know all about Body Dismorphic Disorder, but I suspect that in the majority of cases Alex details in her book, BDD is not the culprit. Our good old friend Self Esteem is lacking in these individuals, and lacking badly.

Take Mrs. X, the wife of a powerful Hollywood Executive (she refrained from revealing her real name). She manages her daily schedule around  primping and pumping needs. “It is her profession, hobby, passion, and primary relationship,” Alex explains. 

Hairdresser: 2 times per week for color, style, stripping, you name it.

Exercise: Daily tennis for toning

Skin: Self Tanner (separate one for face, body and hands), once a week a facialist steams her pores and gently squeezes them, Marina Chicet Brain Lipid Serum slathered on the face daily to allow the cow brain extract to conceal her wrinkles.

Water: Only Penta, due to the high-energy sound waves that are used to make this water more hydrating than any other.

Vitamins: Murad Wet Suit to build collagen, and a cup of probiotic blue-green algae each morning for who the hell knows what.

Nails: Twice per week, buffed not polished, for a younger look.

State of Mind: Rolfing treatments in a series, not sure how many sessions that includes.

Makeup: She does not leave the house, without a professional appling her makeup. Oh, and her makeup artist has an assistant.

Teeth: Cleaned every 8 weeks, natural ones are whitened, veneers replaced annually

Eyebrows: Tweezed and tinted every other week.

Eyes: Lasik perfect.

Doctor visits: monthly, utilizing various techniques including Gore-Tex, Botox, collagen, Retylane, Artecoll.

Plastic surgeon visits: consultations 3 times per year, about 1 surgery annually.

Procedures done: liposuction, tummy tuck, two variations of a brow lift and face lift, upper eyes, lower eyes, implants twice (first batch were not large enough).

And finally – Labiaplasty. Yep, trimming and tucking of the vagina, you know, to make them “neat and tidy” as Mrs. X explains. Labiaplasty happens to be the fastest growing area of plastic surgery. You can even have lipo on the pad of fat on the top of your vagina, making wearing tight dresses much easier! (Quote from a plastic surgeon not me!)

I am exhausted just thinking about this woman’s schedule. Exhausted, and so very sad for her. This quote encompasses her lack of self worth in a nutshell.

Alex asks her ” Is it difficult to be the wife of a powerful guy in Hollywood?

“How do you mean,” Mrs. X inquires.

“Do you ever wish you had a career?” Alex states.

There is a briefest of pauses.

“No, because I was never really going to be that good at anything,” she says. “Or at least I was never going to be so good at anything that I would have made a difference.”

 Damn, I am glad to be me.

-mamaV

Vanity. No limit to the insanity.

I have been pondering this topic for quite a while, so when I read about a pair of $18,000 blue jeans in 944 Magazine, I blew a gasket.

“The diamonds set in white 14K gold on the back pockets depict snow on 7th Avenue, as it would be during the holidays,” according to Chasi Prasad, Wynn’s Bishop of Seventh co-founder. (What is ole’ Chasi smokin? And can I have some? I wanna see the winter wonderland.)

Bottomline: We just have too damn much money on our hands.

I am in Sin City, Las Vegas, at the Hard Rock of all places. Sex, beauty, money, and glamour rules here. Yeah, it’s fun to watch, but at the end of the day, it makes me very sad because I don’t get it.

Ladies, do we really need a $20, 000  designer handbag?

Martha strutting into court with her now famous Hermes bag. (Rent here)

Is it crucial to have a diamond encrusted ass?

Do we need to have liposuction on our feet to fit into Jimmy Choos? 

Jimmy Choo addicts can’t live without several pairs of these babies.

Are we really this pathetic? I use the word pathetic, in a nice way, if that’s possible. Pathetic because this screams “I HAVE NO SELF ESTEEM.”

Why? Because its just so totally over the top, and selfish, I can’t take it.

How in the hell do you march up and down the street in such silly clothing and accessories without noticing the homeless guy sleeping against his shopping cart?

Sure, we all deserve nice things. We work hard for our money, it’s ok to spend it, but what happened to spending wisely?

This is way the hell out of hand.

-mamaV

Here’s a “Dear Abbey” of sorts. I received this email today, name and location has been changed to protect privacy. I figured this community would give some interesting advice.

The story is all too familiar…

Hello mamaVISION,

My name is Zoe i am 17 years old and weigh a healthy 13
stone. I was walking around a fashion show which was being held in my
local area, when i was spotted by Storm models the very same people
who manage Kate Moss.

They asked me if i was interested in modeling and i immediately said
yes to them. I was asked to go downtown the very next day to
meet a photographer who would take some photos for a portfolio.

This was all fine until two months afterwards, i was told to lose 3
stone so i was 10 stone! That would make me have a BMI of 18.0 which i
do not think is healthy. I am now on a diet of 270 calories each day
and have collapsed twice in the last four days. I am not sure what to
do, because they are relying on me to do fashion week!

I feel trapped, and was handed some laxatives by a fellow model what
should i do?

Dear ZT:  

You, and only you can make this decision. If you want to be a model, you need to follow the rules. All of which are quite clear.

I have never been one to tell others what to do when it comes to modeling, its a personal choice. I do try to forewarn others what they are getting into with the fashion industry, and fortunately for you Zoe, you have discovered the facts early in the game.

Ask yourself this question: 

How will you feel if you walk away from this opportunity?

When I was asked this question at 16, I said:

I’ll wonder my whole life what I could have done.

I wanted it. I wanted to be a model. I wanted the excitement, the attention, and really it was a blessing in disguise for me. Crap, I barely got out alive, but still would not change a thing.

Zoe, I wish you health and happiness, and I would never encourage anyone to starve. But the reality is, it goes with the territory. Now you need to decide if being a model is worth the pain and suffering.

I encourage you to reach out to your parents, or any other friend or family member that you trust to help you think through this decision. I posted you question here so you can also ponder the thoughts of others.

Take care,

mamaV

This is an image from a Tokyo Fashion Magazine.

Fact or Fiction?

Photoshopped or Real?

Does it really even matter either way?

The fact is it is in print, and therefore it is real. The image exists, and the message is clear, isn’t it girls.

2008 is off to a great frickin’ start.

-mamaV

Taken from: Numéro Tokyo Magazine (February 2008 issue)
Photo: René Habermacher and Jannis Tsipoulanis

I contributed to an article for the Seattle Post Intelligencer, and I’d like your perspective on the topic.

Did your father contribute to or help you with your eating disorder?

It seems to me fathers, and men in general, are more active and involved on this blog, my youtube and in email. I believe they are tuned eating disorders, and their concern for their daughters rises with the tide.

The 1950′s are over. No more stern, old Fathers sitting at the sidelines watching gentle Mother handle the girlie issues. Thank goodness. Today’s dad’s seem to be willing to jump right in there and express themselves, and urge their daughters to do the same.

My father was and is nothing short of amazing. Always has been and always will be. He had a way of listening, not judging, and above all trusting me (even when he sure as hell shouldn’t have!)

I knew he would love me no matter what. I was a model, and yes he was proud of that, but only because I was proud of it. When my interests shifted elsewhere, he followed along, with a keen sense awareness that my woven path was part of growing up.

His role was to observe my path, not drive it. 

Did you father realize this? Or did he push, and preach, and send you mixed messages?

Paul Nyhan, SeattlePI

The main advice I gave to Paul Nyhan, the reporter for SeattlePI, and a father of a two year old girl;

1) If you call your daughter fat, she will never, ever forget it.

2) Listen to her express her feelings about her body. Don’t shove her feelings away or cut her off. Just listen.

3) Don’t pretend to be the expert, because you aren’t. No man possibly could be. The female conscience on body image is a long, weird, tangled mess – us girls don’t even get it half the time!

What advice would you add to this list?

Be real. Be blunt. Tell him the facts.

I’ll invite Paul to read your responses so he can gather a full view a father’s impact on eating disorders, body image, and the whole beauty saga.

-mamaV

Commenter Anne dared me to post about this story so I couldn’t resist. Although I am not sure why this required such a dare, because this story is old news

NEWS FLASH: Stop blaming models, stars, media – blame your genes.

Here’s a brief on what The Times Online article has to say:

Anorexia may be caused by inherited differences in the way a sufferer’s brain operates, leading to obsessive behaviour, according to research. Rather than being triggered by images of super-thin models and celebrities, the eating disorder could be brought on by the in-built way in which the brain responds to pleasure and reward. It has been argued that images of unhealthily thin stars in the media have encouraged anorexic behaviour in impressionable young women. But a study published in The American Journal of Psychiatry suggests that the brains of anorexia sufferers behave differently to those of the rest of the population and that certain people are born with a susceptibility to develop the condition.

Snore….huh? I’m up here’s a brief on my perspective;

Genes can play a role in anorexia, agreed. I wholeheartedly support any and all efforts to provide these anorexia sufferers with treatment for their disease. This blog is not aimed at that audience. I write to a whole other segment of the population. The young girls and women that tune into “Nip and Tuck” and can’t wait for ANTM (if you don’t know what that stands for, good, you are on the right track).

One can not ignore the overwhelming evidence of cultural and societal influence, a few of the best reports on the other side of this story can be read here;

Dove Global Study: print this thing out and read it. It’s sad as hell. For the record, I am beautiful and not afraid to admit it or say it or be it or think it (psst…Dove is owned by Evil Unilever. My vote? Who cares).

More common than Alzheimer’s:yet insurance stinks. 5-10 Million affected by eating disorders in the US alone. Research funding totals a whopping $1.20 per sufferer (we all need another Gucci bag after all).

You’ve got to live in the US of A to get it, but we are a country obsessed. Forget Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll, we Binge, Purge & Lipo 24/7 in this country. There is no way in hell we are going to spend money to actually figure out why we are all eating disordered – it’s a lifestyle babe.

Been there, done that: Fashion Designers control the sizes. The chic sizes are currently 0, and 00. I am waiting for the negative sizes to make their debut (ie. -3, now that would be rad).

1980′s SuperModels

1990 SuperModel…better known now as ”lard ass.”

2000 SuperModel…way the hell too fat for runway now.

2006 SuperModel…rexy figure maintained by coke on the rocks.

2006-2007 SuperModels….dead.

Yep, all in the genes.

-mamaV