Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

Your wedding day. The day that you are full of excitement, bounding with energy, and beaming with confidence!

Hmmm…does this model look like she is ready to party?

Or is she ready to start balling? Or maybe ready to keel over?

The designer of these gowns is Amsale, brought to us straight from Ethiopia. Yes, Ethiopia, the country that suffered the 1985 famine that wiped out over 1 million people due to starvation. Wouldn't you think this woman would know better?

Here's her mission statement from her site;

Are you blind? This is not confidence in the eyes of your models. It's death warmed over. It's the quite obvious look of suffering and forced starvation. I would think this misery should be quite familiar to you if you bothered to care.
       
Are these bridesmaids or zombies? Both appear gaunt and tired, and the waif on the right is leaning to the side like she could drop any minute.

"In Ethiopia there were no fashion designers. I never knew that
designing beautiful clothes was a profession to which one could aspire," says Amsale.

Could it be that the people of Ethiopia have more important things to worry about than materialism? Perhaps they are most concerned with feeding their children than wrapping themselves in some overpriced garb created by a pompous designer who has forgotten her roots.

Amsale, you should be ashamed of yourself for parading these sickly girls out on stage to satisfy your ego trip.

Wake up and get real,
mV

Levi's used to be the bomb, but in recent years their brand has tanked due to competition from other small, boutique brands. I personally still love their jeans and their fit…but after seeing their recent ads I will hesitate to purchase in the future.

On Facebook this morning, I was served this disturbing ad of a young woman modeling Levi's that would fit about 1% of the entire population (no girls, this is NOT attractive).

What kind of marketing strategy is this?

This only further alienates their consumers, such as myself, who look to Levi's as a real American brand. Further, a look at their web site homepage shows some dude in skin tight, spandex like, Yellow jeans.

Ahh…I don't think so.
-mV

German Artist Ivonne Thein was so horrified by pro-anorexia web sites that she created "Thirty-Two Kilos" (70 pounds) exhibit….digitally enhanced images glorifying it? or mocking it? or perpetuating it?

If Thein got it, she would realize these images are the best youtube thinspiration yet….

Are you a former Pro-Anorexic who has quit the cult?

Are you willing to participate in a University study on the topic?

Please email me for more info mamaVISION@gmail.com.

Thank you!
mV

*Warning: Triggering & Disturbing

This image received over 1800+ diggs; one of the top pictures of all time in Digg's "General Science" category.

The inspiration for the "Attractive Face Scale" experiment was derived from two scholarly sources; Hot or Not, and my personal fave Beauty Check.

,

Beauty, it appears, is now a matter of science. And according to the genius Pierre, the inventor of this  technology, concludes his hypothesis;

"FAT IS NOT ATTRACTIVE."

Wow…dude…. now that is deep.

You have personally inspired many, many more girls to strive to meet your standards by starving themselves at the tender age of 8.

Congrats,

mV

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PS For more disturbing fun facts, click over to Pierre's flickr page, hover your mouse over the image and see all the wonderful comments users have made on each and everyone of the images within the collage http://www.flickr.com/photos/pierre_tourigny/146532556/

That's right, that's me – a certified lunatic.

At least that is the way the rest of the world makes me feel at times. Especially since just a few decades ago, one would be placed in a Sanitarium for the most common of illnesses, and Hollywood portrayed Prozac as a happy pill.

I compare my life as an anxiety freak to a "hamster on a
wheel." Heartbeat pumping, rushing off to nowhere, with an absolute inability to just
get off the damn thing and rest.

After 33 years of living like this, I had enough. I decided to try medication. A decision that turned out to be was one of the best
decisions I have ever, ever done for myself.

That decision literally
changed my life.

So much so, I have decided to share my story to encourage the many other anxiety suffers out there that there is hope;

At 33 years old, and a mother of two wonderful, amazing children, the wife of an incredible man, I was 
lost in the fog. The fog of anxiety that pulls you away from the here and now, and sucks you into an imaginary world of worries, like an incessant tap-tap-tap on the shoulder. Day, after day, after day, it pounds on you, wearing you down until you give.

Anxiety not only exhausts you, it kills you. It kills your enthusiasm, your passion for life, and your ability to be in the moment. Eventually, anxiety can turn into physical pain, chronic pain that forces you to face the reality and the magnitude of the problem. For me, the chronic pain settled in my neck and shoulders causing chronic and debilitating headaches that sent me to Mayo Clinic to seek a solution.

I tried every single possible natural solution to anxiety available. First, the usual stuff – meditation, yoga, and talk therapy. Nothing touched it. I moved on to the less known approaches, such as light therapy, behavioral therapy workbooks, cortisone shots, acupuncture, and oriental herbal teas. Still the pain and suffering continued.

So, when I was 9 months pregnant with my son, I told my therapist to get the drugs ready because the minute that kid was out, the pills are going in! (no I didn't nurse)

Side effects are difficult for some, but I was lucky because mine were minimal (especially compared to how I was feeling) so the hardest part was waiting the weeks for the medicine to take effect. When they did, I felt reborn. Sounds dramatic, and kind of cheesy, but I swear to you I was finally, finally – me….

• Reading has become a huge part of my life.

• The moment. I discovered what it is to be, to live in the moment, I don't recall being capable of my entire adult life.

• Relationships improved because one with anxiety often make others feel anxious – which can be difficult for friends and family.

It's been 6 years now, and I've accepted the fact that I will likely be on medication for a lifetime. Regardless of possible unknown health impacts, I would rather live 10 more years with this peaceful mind, than 50 more years feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.

To the 38% of you on medication according to our poll on the right, I hope you will share your story as
well.

To the 28% who have tried meds, but no longer take them, tell us about experience. I think it is very important to hear both sides of this story.

To the 15% considering medication, I hope this post has been helpful to you. This step is a very personal decision, and it is one you need to make on your own if and when you are ready.

Love,

mamaV

xoxo

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Warning: The following post contains images that may be triggering.

Pro Anorexia web sites have increased 470% from 2006 to 2007, according to Optenet.

470% – that's insane.

Yet, when I ask the average parent if they have heard of  "pro ana," their eyes immediately glaze over. Why is this?

Let's see what our Ana friends have been up to, I haven't been on their case in a while, so time to surf the web….

Enter these Google search terms to find endless pages, sites, gory images, videos, and how to information – all in the name of  – "Pro Anorexia- The Lifestyle":

"Pro Ana": 8,840,000

"Pro Anorexia": 215,000

"Thinspiration": 57,900 

"Ana Mia": 513,000

"How To Be Anorexic": 1,240,000

"How To Be Bulimic": 431,000

"I am afraid of fat": 4,810,000

If those stats have not scared the crap out of you yet, let's move on to what's happening on YouTube. These represent full length videos folks, each average a few minutes in length:

Average new video per week: 100+

First Video Upload: May 13, 2006

"Ana Mia": 12,400

"Thinspo": 6,640

"Thinspiration": 3,890

"Pro Anorexia": 1,680

This insane increase may be attributed to;

• "Look Who's FAT" headlines pelting us at every single turn in the grocery check out aisle, partnered with anorexic images of Mary Kate Olsen crossing the streets of NYC dressed like a granny, gripping a Starbucks weighing in at 90 pounds tops.

Two examples of the thousands posted on the web of "real girl" thinspiration -the bathroom generally being the most popular location of the photo shoot (note to mom and dad: she is doing more than getting rid of their dinner in there).

• Tech-savvy teens laughing at efforts to shut down the pro ana sites quickly generating more content to royally piss off their parents.

• Well intentioned mothers scheduling their perfectly healthy daughters breast implants and liposuction for their sweet 16 birthday. If they die under the knife…oh well, life happens.

• Teen magazine articles preaching "eat healthy" while a turn of the page shows a bony girl smiling at the reader as if to say "You will never be me you fat ass loser."
• Every single fashion rag in this country filling its pages with photoshopped images of already super duper skinny models in order to make us regular people feel like a pile of crap….but they wouldn't make them if WE DIDN"T BUY THEM.

• Average size fashion model shrinking to a size 00 over the past decade (fun fact: according to the documentary America The Beautiful, this trend is "because designers need to save money on fabric.")

Rant over,
mamaV

With all of Oprah's drama over her weight gain, and the resulting encouragement for us all to "get back on the wagon" as to not embarrass ourselves -one would think her diet plan is free in order to build a true sense of community.

Not a chance.

Oprah's savior of the moment, Bobby Greene, charges $9.95 per month for his wisdom – after a 30 day trial.

Quite interesting, especially since this price has been reduced already, which last week was $19.95 per month with no trial- I guess sales are a bit slow?

The article
about her talking about her weight gain wasn't even free until recently – instead it was printed in a two page excerpt as a teaser – with a call to action to "buy the magazine for the full story."

Irritating.

Both Oprah and Bob are rolling in dough, and this feels like they are preying upon the vulnerable with the latest bogus diet scam. With all due respect Oprah, your diet history speaks for itself;

Your 20+ million viewers have watched you tout the "Liquid Diet" in the late 80's, then on to the Rosie Daley Best Chef on the Planet meal plan, to a Vegan cleanse as recent as June 2008 – and now on to Bobby's Best Life Secret -  your newest hero with THE answer.

Sorry Oprah, I love ya, but you are going to be crying in your soup again before we know it. I think you have a serious responsibility to not drag all of us along for ride….much less benefit financially from it.

Oh, before I forget – I tried a little test just for the heck of it. I entered my weight 148 and my goal weight 108 into Bob Greene's Best Life Diet sign up form.

Not a problem! You want to be pro anorexic, Bob will be there for you (and not hesitate take your cash)

Sloppy. The whole thing is just sloppy.

Disappointed,
-mamaV

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Fun Facts: Oprah's Reach:

Every day, she reaches more than 26 million Americans – and countless
viewers in 100 other countries – from the comfortable sofa of her own
chat show. Fans have rejoiced that she's just signed a deal to host 140
episodes per year, up until 2010. Her website, www.oprah.com, averages
two million visitors a month and receives an astonishing 10,000 emails
each week.

Last year, I posted a video "Thanksgiving without an eating disorder," showing my daughter and I making a pie.

This one is a little more nutty- I had my kids and some friends over, and we decided to make cookies.

"We just want to eat them," said the boys, moaning and groaning about decorating them.

I got them rolling, the only rule being – no licking the tubes of frosting, too grody for me. As you can see from the looks of my kitchen table, we had a blast.

My daughters little buddy from China said, "You know, this is really, really fun!" He had never made "American style" Christmas cookies before and it was so neat to see his face light up.

Out they went, carrying their tray of cookies, excitedly telling their parents what they did, and thanking me over and over.

Needless to say, I felt like a queen for a day.

What special traditions do you do during the holidays?

-mamaV

Smile of the day.

Compliments of Feministing

-mV

I've been pondering the discussion about Oprah outing herself on her weight gain. My intial reaction, was similar to the rest of you;

Why does Oprah feel she needs to beat herself up in front of the world?

Does she really look so bad at 200lbs?

Or as Tracey Z put it "When one of the most powerful women in America can't feel good about herself at a weight that is still considered fairly average by today's standards, how are the rest of us supposed to feel?"

If I am honest with myself, and with you, I would be freaking out if I weighed 200lbs. I would not be happy with my body, I would be working the weight of, and I, like Oprah would be apologizing for myself.

I have never been overweight.

I likely never will be overweight due to my height and metabolism.

I will never, ever know what it is like to be fat in a society of fat haters.

I would not feel like a "fat cow" standing between Cher and Tina Turner, as Oprah admitedly did.

The fact of the matter is this; I can talk all I want about fat acceptance. I can be compassionate towards obese individuals and try to influence all of you to think twice about your feelings about fat…but deep down I am glad I am not fat. And if I was, I would do everything I could to get rid of it.

Am I a total hypocrite or what?

-mamaV

“Our all-or-nothing nation is built on foundations of fantasy. Our imagination is harnessed to America’s adolescent fantasy – how much prettier, thinner, richer, and more successful we will be one day,” states Courtney Martin in Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters (page 209).

Martin focuses in on her best friend Gareth. a Brooklyn based beauty. She is an activist and an actor – mentoring a little girl with AIDS, marching in Pro Choice rallies, writing and performing monologues in off Broadway productions.

All of her accomplishments are buried and invisible because she is fat. Obesity strips away everything.

Gareth is on the subway headed into the city, knitting as she rides. As she stuffs her yarn into her purse and stands to get off, a man sitting nearby yells “Yeah, that’s right, get off the train you fat bitch!”

Gareth stands there, staring straight ahead, humiliated and silent, unsurprised. She has suffered a lifetime of these cruel remarks, yet later she will relive this moment over and over in her head. It is a loneliness so deep, she must turn it into anger to survive.

“Sizeism remains the only truly socially acceptable form of discrimination on the planet,” Martin notes. “Today fat is the death penalty of the twenty-first century.”

When asking a group of 14 year old Manhattanites how their life would be if they were fat. They were struck silent. After a few moments, one responded “I would be dead.”

Dead.

Death over Fat

Cancer over Fat

Even Oprah is willing to humiliate herself in front of the whole damn world due to the fact that she gained 40 pounds. Shit. If Oprah can’t even get her head around the purpose of life, how are all the women that look up to her going to do it?

The story of Gareth weaves through her daily life, and ends in a tattoo parlor in St. Marks,  the punker hang out of NYC. Gareth is on the table, scared and pale, suffering for the purpose of inking forever more the message that she wants to yell to the world;

A zipper, at least two feet long, is etched into her pale skin. The top appears to be open a few inches, as if Gareth is aching to crawl out of her own skin.

-mamaV

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Fat Acceptance Blogs:

Big Fat Deal: http://www.bfdblog.com/

FatFu: http://fatfu.wordpress.com/

Big Fat Blog: http://bigfatblog.com

Adios Barbie: http://adiosbarbie.com

What do you think about Oprah outing herself on gaining 40 pounds?

My immediate reaction was- why is she announcing this to the world?

I understand that this is a major issue for her, and weight gain impacts her self esteem a great deal, but I guess that is what bugged me. She gained 40 pounds and she is totally beating herself up about it, like it is a massive, personal failure.

First of all, she was diagnosed with a thyroid condition which causes weight gain, and secondly she is in her 50's which I believe impacts your metabolism overall making it harder to keep weight off.

Oprah goes on to say she felt like a "fat cow" standing in between Cher and Tina Turner.

Fat cow. This powerful, dynamic, inspiring, amazing women is shrunk down to being a fat cow. Here I ask if this was in her own mind, or could she feel the judgment of others eyes scanning her "thinking she's fat again." I would guess both.

Is 200 pounds really that fat?

Put the number aside for a moment, and look at Oprah's image above. The thinner version of Oprah does not look to me to be her natural body state, meaning she had to work her ass off to get down to that weight, and I don't believe her body is built to maintain that weight, so if she attempts to achieve it again she will inevitably gain it back (her head looks too big for her body for one, and secondly she looks like a marathon runner so you can just tell that she was working out hours a day to maintain that bod).

The "fat cow" image on the right doesn't look very overweight to me. I actually think she looks pretty good. What do you think?

I think societal brainwashing is at work here, and sadly one of our strongest female icons has fallen victim to the scam that thin is the ticket to freedom.

-mamaV

Alba is the latest photoshop victim, airbrushed into some sort of cartoonish SuperHero version of herself.

A little nip and tuck at the waist, and slim down those chunky thighs please. Those collarbones need to really pop, we want to see bones. Vulptuious breasts must literally be pouring out of the top of the halter dress. Add some slutty red lipstick and a few sexy wisps to the hair – and now one of the world's most gorgeous women is good enough for Campari.

Freaky-ist part? Check out her eyeballs. They moved her damn pupils so she is staring at the camera!

For cripes sake, if this doesn't make you ill, not sure what will.

-mamaV

Watching Caroline Rothstein got me rattled. Time for a mind dump;

Women have hated their bodies since the beginning of time. Fat is fear. Fat is grotesque. Most would choose death over fat.

Hate the fat people, they are contagious.

We chatter obsessively about food, shaming ourselves, rewarding our cravings, oblivious to the finely tuned in ears of our daughters, who see themselves our distorted mirrors.

Women suck at supporting one another.

We are fake in our sympathy because we can not escape ourselves. The green eyed monster clings on to our bloated stomachs and cellulite thighs, halting real relationships with a thinner friend. This I know, for I am a skinny bitch.

We all have a story. 

Diagnosis is individual, and sometimes flawed. Control, shame, and abuse rank high on the list of reasons for our destruction. Genes plague many, but for the growing group of others its pure and simple vanity, like it or not.

Anorexics… just eat already.

Bulimics don't purge…they vomit. Alone. In places and ways unimaginable.

Athletes…they are just following the rules. It's dedication.

EDNOS sufferers flounder somewhere in between hoping to qualify.

We are Weight-Watcher Lifers, Pro Ana Wannabes, Morbidly Obese Shut Ins, and True-Blue Anorexics. We have more in common than we care to admit. 

Parents are a saving grace or the nail in our coffin.

Mothers who would give their life for their child, wrongly blaming themselves for our condition. Others who have knowingly brainwashed since birth. 

Insurance companies fight to blame us, getting back to their paperwork as we die in silence. Mental disease doesn't count in this country you weak, pathetic soul. Just keep it hidden, hold it down, don't bother us with your nonsense. Bring back the good ole' sanitariums. Lock 'em up.

Only you can stop self hate chatter.

It is you who must seek the help you so desperately need. Only you can turn off the racket. But it is us who must unite.

I have escaped, but I still want to ride along with you. 

Absorbed in your misery to force different thoughts. Momentarily causing a pause. Hoping ideas will bring you the soul you have never known.

-mamaV

I want you all to meet a really cool chick.

Jeanette Fulda, aka PastaQueen, author of Half-Assed, and incognito tech geek has accomplished one hell of a lot in her 27 years.

She stands in her fat pants on the cover of her book, showing her dramatic weight loss of half of herself. Check out her reccomendations if you want to follow in her footsteps and don't miss her video 'How to loose 192 pounds in 7 seconds;"

How to lose 192 pounds in 7 seconds from PastaQueen on Vimeo.

I had the pleasure to meet Jeanette during a blogger get together in Chicago a month or so back, and what struck me immediately about her is how laid back she was, and how comforting her expression was. Jeanette is one of those people that makes you feel comfortable, because she is so comfortable in her own skin.

What also cracked me up about Jeanette is that she had no intention to write a book, the publisher sought her out (damn, now that is raw talent).

Here's some insight on Jeanette's perspective of the world, now standing 5'9 and weighing her perfect size of 180 pounds;

MV: How are your relationships different now?

JF: I am more willing to engage people, make small talk, and try to make a connection with others than I was when I was fat. I used to feel uncomfortable in my body and didn't want people to see me, so I would avoid interacting with others unnecessarily. I'd avoid eye contact and didn't like talking to salesclerks when I was shopping. Otherwise, my relationships with old friends and family members are basically the same. I was somewhat concerned how my relationship might change with a friend of mine who is still obese, but we are still as close as ever. She's happy for me, even though she wishes she could lose weight too.

MV: So this is what we do to fat people in this country- shame them into hiding. Think about this the next time you socialize with an obese individual, why not go out of your way to let them know they are are not being judged in your presence.

MV: How has your personality changed?

JF: Like I said, I'm more outgoing. I used to be so shy I wondered if I had social anxiety disorder, but those people are afraid to go to the grocery store, which was a problem I obviously never had. As I became successful at losing weight I gained confidence in myself. With that success behind me, I became more willing to imagine myself successful in other things. The confidence I gained through weight loss bled into other areas of my life. I was more assertive when job hunting and imagined writing a book and living on my own.

MV: Why did you change your goal weight from 160 to 180?

I pulled the number 160 out of the air because it ended in a zero and it was at the high end of the BMI recommendations for my height. However, after I had maintained a weight of 180 for about a year, I decided that was the weight I was happiest at, even if it technically made me still overweight by the BMI system. It's the weight my body maintains when I am moderately active and eating well 90% of the time. To lose more weight I would have to make my life more uncomfortable than I'm willing to, either via going hungry or exercising more than I'd like to. I think I look good at 180 and my doctor says I'm in excellent health, so I didn't see any benefit to trying to lose more weight.

MV: Read that twice and absorb it for a moment. I am a huge believer that our bodies have a natural weight gauge, and you will basically stay within a 10 pound range as you maintain a healthy, balanced lifestyle. The key here, I think is that Jeanette realized this, and just decided she was happy with herself, and most importantly blew off the damn BMI chart (FYI- According to the BMI chart, Michael Jordan is fat).

MV: What is the meanest thing anyone ever said to you or about you?

JF: I've gotten 3 or 4 blog comments that were rather harsh and I'd rather not repeat. People will be meaner online than they ever would be in real life because they are anonymous and know they won't be held accountable for their actions. That being said, 99.9% of my blog comments are kind, thoughtful and polite. I have to remind myself that comments aren't about me, they're about the person leaving the comment. Comments are shaped my our own experiences. If someone leaves a mean comment or accuses me of having a negative attribute, it usually reflects an insecurity they have about themselves.

MV: What is the most significant difference between being thin vs fat?

JF: The freedom of mobility is the biggest difference. When I was morbidly obese I became exhausted walking half a mile from a concert to the parking lot. I wasn't able to walk up 3 flights of stairs without pausing on each landing to catch my breath. I barely fit behind the steering wheel of my car, and my seatbelt wouldn't buckle in some of my friends' automobiles. I may have been big, but my world was small. There were serious limitations on where I could go and what I could do. Now I can walk miles with ease, and if I wanted to go kayaking or spelunking, I know I could.

MV: What has not changed about you?

JF: My sense of humor, my personality and my outlook on life have not changed. I've always been a rather positive person, and even at my fattest I thought I was pretty cool That probably makes me sound arrogant, but I don't think there's anything wrong with liking who you are.

MV: Who or what is the most significant influence in your life?

JF: This is a cliched answer, but it's true: my mom. She's helped shape me into the woman I am today and I owe her a lot for not screwing me up She never put me on a diet and never made me feel bad about my weight. She always made me feel loved and let me know I had someplace to come home to.

—————–

I sat down today to write about Jeanette, and started doing my homework, checking out her blog more in depth, reading exerpts from her book…..and what do I discover?

She is a frickin' rock star! Not only has she appeared live on CBS and NBC morning shows, with total poise and confidence, but she has beeninterviewed by an amazing list of journalists. It just shows how down to earth Jeanette is that she doesn't say a peep about her accomplishments.

I guess it's true – when you're good, you're good, no need to brag about it.

Enjoy your weekend,

-mamaV

I am thinking I don't thank you all enough. The emails, the thoughtful comments, the everything…its really quite overwhelming at times.

This blog has been an incredible journey, one that has caused me to dig deep inside at times, take time to ponder where my head is at, but most of all it has given me you. This community means the world to me. Do you know that?

I know, I know…we argue, disagree, bat each other around from time to time – but when all is said and done we have a purpose here. We are all serving a purpose here. This would be nothing but a bunch of words without your breath of life.

I literally have no interest in listening to myself talk. It's the interaction with all of you that keeps me writing.

Plus, I know we are making a difference. I know this has become a daily meeting place for many, a safe place, and a place of hope amidst the darkness.

I hope you all were able to pause, and appreciate your families today. Thanksgiving is generally hell day  for ED sufferers…a nightmare of tradition revolving around food and stuffing ourselves silly. Crap, I remember dreading this day. I would plan how I would duck and dodge to get out of eating, flush my food down the toilet, or sneak it to the dog under the table.

Usually it was too nuts for anyone to notice, so I usually made it through, but I was miserable inside. So I wanted you all to know my heart was and is with you today.

To a better tomorrow my friends.

Love,

mamaV

XOXO

My last post Fran The Fat Lady, has generated quite a bit of discussion, so we are going to keep rolling on this topic;

Obesity. Morbid Obesity. Fat. Overweight. Whateveryouwanttocallit.

While writing about Franny on Saturday afternoon, my husband walked in the room as asked what I was up to.

"I am writing about Fran." I said. We both smiled.

My daughter Grace was sitting beside me absorbed in her book, until she heard us talking.

"I remember her!" Grace said.

"You do?" I replied, a bit surprised because Grace was like 5-6 when she did her ballerina routine for Fran a few years back at the hospice.

"What do you remember babe?"

"She had purple skin."

She had purple skin.

Grace didn't see a 400+ pound woman stuffed in her death bed, her tired lungs struggling with each breath. She didn't think about how Fran looked different than most people she knew. She just saw Fran.

Fran, the nice lady that was always happy, smiling, bringing over little, fun gifts an oxygen tank trailing behind her.

Fran, the one our neighbor helped out of her Black Chevy pickup, so she could deliver to us a box of Krispie Cremes (one missing).

Fran, the lady mama always sat by at holiday parties, and spent time engrossed in conversation or laughing her ass off at some crazy joke that was told.

——-

This reminded me of a related experience we had at the grocery store when Grace was only a toddler, and my son Sid was just an infant, cozy in his little carrier hooked on top of our steel cart. I had bought this huge load of stuff.

"Is there a bagger that can help me out to the car?" I said to the elderly cashier.

"Sure," she said flipping on her lighted, blinking sign to signal the bagger he had a customer.

Suddenly, she switched the light off, and looked to me with a serious face.

"Actually, the only bagger we have today has a birthmark on his face…it might scare your kids," she whispered, nervously glancing back over her shoulder to see if he, monster boy, was coming.

"We're good" I said with out hesitating.

Out came a nice young man, obviously self conscience as hell, covered with a large purple birthmark on his face and neck.

I didn't even blink. I slid over and let him push the cart. My little Siddy kicked his feet, happy as a clam in his baby seat facing the monster boy. I reached for Gracie's hand and started walking beside him, trying not to glare back at every person in the store who was at the poor kid.

We chit-chatted our way to the car, monster boy unloaded, and I got the kids tucked in their car seats.

"He had a different face," said my girl.

"Yep, everyone is different, that's what is cool about the world."

A different face.

Purple skin.

What a testament to the fact that we teach our children acceptance. We somewhere, somehow learned from someone to be discriminating and intolerant. Then we learned to like it.

I vote that we reprogram our prejudice, mean spirited, self righteous minds back to childhood.

-mamaV

Reality sets in today for us at mamaVISION.

Although we talk, support, argue, laugh and tease here on the blog….the truth we must always remember is we are discussing a deadly topic. Eating disorders take the lives of women every single day, but statistics don’t really hit home do they?

“10 Million Females in the United States Are Battling Eating Disorders.”

If you are like me, you think, “Ok, 10 million…big number.” and life goes on. We can’t even process this figure.

But today is different. We have lost 3, that’s three, of our own.

Three young, vibrant lives snuffed out by an disease that tortures the mind and soul, until the body simply surrenders.

Emily

Ellie

Sheri

Emily started posting here well over a year ago. Her mom Brooke was concerned about her, so she searched her computer to see what she was doing online and found mamaVISION.com. She bravely and responsibility reacted by reaching out to me and asking me what she should do. She was a mother desperate to help. A mother willing to do anything in her power to heal her beloved daughter.

But as we all know, as friends and family we can listen, we can love, we can stand by their side and help with therapy and treatment. But the sufferer then needs to do the work. The work is often too much to bare and when those feelings of fear, shame, and negativity creep in..they retreat to the habits they know will eventually take their life. Starving. Restricting. Binging. Purging.

Emily was 17 years old. She suffered a heart attack. The attack was not her first, the unfortunate veteran of an eating disorder. She survived in a coma, but eventually passed in peace.

Ellie and Sheri are two others being remembered on the open forum. I need you to post about these women, because I didn’t have the pleasure to know them. Please tell us their stories, and send me their pictures to post to the memorial if appropriate.

Stop today, and think about these three women. Take a few breaths, and think.

And please don’t naively believe for one moment this won’t be you if you don’t reach out for help. I would bet Emily, Ellie and Sheri never imagined they would be written about today.

Love always,

mamaV