Body Image Activist, Eating Disorders mamaVISION

Many of you state that you do not have support, you don’t relate, your family does not understand. So I pose a challenge back to you.

Find a role model.

There is one out there for each and every one of you, but you may have to keep searching until you find that individual that gets you. The person who doesn’t judge, always listens, and gently guides you to the help you need.

Let the hunt begin!

Step #1: Your Parents
First and foremost, approach your parents. You can let your guard down, and tell them- tell them what you are going through. Although you don’t believe they will understand, the vast majority of parents will understand and they want nothing more than to help their children.

I remember when I told my mom about my ED, I was so scared, but I was so sick of it all too. It was so weird to me that she didn’t notice on her own, wasn’t it obvious I was suffering? It wasn’t. My mom is the most intuitive, loving, giving person, and even she did not see all the signs I thought I was shoving in her face.  So, you need to get over the fact that no one is paying attention to your issues, and understand they may not even be aware.

Step #2: Siblings & Relatives
If the parent route doesn’t fly, or they are simply not good role models, you need to look beyond them.

Many of you have expressed that your mother has pushed her body hate on to you. Or you have an insensitive father who calls you fat or is just plain abusive. Their issues are not your issues. Just get it out of your head that you were meant to be in this position and you will never get out of it. There is a way out — you just need to open your eyes, and trust you will be guided.

You need to look to siblings and other family members. Most of us have
someone in our lives we kind of trust, someone that has the potential to be real, so you need to reach out to them.

Step #3: Friends
No,no no – you are not stopping here. If you’ve gotten this far and everyone has disappointed you, take a few deep breaths and regroup.

You have likely been squashed to the mat. It sucks, big time. But you have got to get up again. When you get knocked down in life, do your crying, and then get up. Get up and keep moving.

Ok, so what friends to you have? Don’t say “none. Chances are you have pushed everyone away so you can immerse yourself in your ED. Call a few of those people back into your life. Take the chance that they will listen and that they will help.

Step #4: Teachers & Colleagues
If the family has failed you, your friends are not there, you then move on to search for people that it will likely be harder to approach. I am talking about teachers, colleagues, hell – try the gym instructor.

Guys, life is really rough sometimes. You may very well fall down several times before you find the right person, but you will if you persevere. No one said it was going to be easy.

So that’s the plan. Let’s do it and see where we end up.

What I see is young women stuck. Stuck in a pattern of self hate that has become the norm, it is expected, it is all in compassing.

But it doesn’t need to be- you just have to step outside your boundaries. Take chances. Make mistakes. This is all part of growing up and living life. And living life hating yourself not a life at all. You know this.

If you are ready, I challenge you to find that role model this week.

Figure out who that person is, muster up the courage to tell them who you really are, and let it all fly.

I am expecting we will have some good stories, some not so good stories. But such is life. The only way out of this big black hole is to crawl out. At least you’ll do the crawling with others who understand.

You are not alone,

mamaV

xoxo

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Post inspired by The National Report on the State of Self Esteem, Real Girls, Real Pressure, commissioned by Dove. Read it, absorb it, and tell yourself you will not be a statistic.

I checked the results of the latest poll on Self Esteem, and I feel discouraged….but not surprised. Check this out;

Question: How is our Self Esteem these days?

See full poll results at the right side of the blog. Sorry – only US map available!

Nearly 60% hate ourselves. Hate. That is the strongest word we can use against ourselves, and I chose it deliberately for the poll.

I want to hear from you…

Why did you vote how you did? 

If you didn't vote – do so now and explain your choice.

I could sit here and tell you all the benefits about the power of positive thinking, and try to convince you to put on a happy face, but unless you feel it and believe it, and want it…you'll never get there.

I love myself. I truly do, and I am not afraid to say it.

I'll be 40 this year and I am excited about life! Sure, aging is kinda scary, the wrinkles are starting to show, the body not the same as 20 years ago, but I say who cares! Who cares because I am here to live my life and I am not going to miss one single moment of it on vanity.

I was born with one gift, and that gift is to have a very distinct, constant, awareness of death.

Life can not and should not ever be taken for granted because it can be over in a snap. If I was gone tomorrow, I would go knowing that I lived my best life, I spent everyday trying to be the best person I could be, I tried to give and love to the fullest, and most of all – no regrets.

No regrets…now that's an amazing thing to be able to claim.

How about you?

Love,
mamaV

Just got back from Madtown, our capital city, a college town that had me absorbed in its free spirit and sense of identity. I came back with a bag full of clothes from Goodwill, a budda necklace, and tons of cool stickers and buttons.

Time to share;

Think big girls.

Kind of over the top, but got to love ‘em! More here from Ann Taintor, and OliveSandwiches

That’s US!

Be you.

Hope one of these brought a smile to your face! 

Love,

mamaV

enjoy your weekend,

Love,

mamaV

XOXO

Sisters Erin and Jean, publishers of REAL magazine call themselves “Inspired Realists.”

That sure has a nice ring to it.

Download REAL magazine here!

The first issue of REAL magazine is wrapped in a fantastic design featuring an funky, elegant, witch, beauty queen. Inside, the creativity explodes with unique articles such as “Harajuku Girls” (brought to fame by Gwen Stefani), and “Happy or Hungry?” a must read for all mamaV fans.

They even resurrect the tired old phrase “Beauty is skin deep,” with their insightful piece that challenges the reader to understand their own beauty perceptions with a self poll that is sure to make you stop. Think. And rethink.

The only slight disappointment I had in REAL magazine is the editors were sucked into the same photo-shopped pro ana pictures I have fallen for in the past, with their showcase article “Hot, Blonde, Famous and Rich.”

I’m not sure how these two Aussie’ s, just 18 and 20, managed to gather so much wisdom so quickly, but they amaze me. I’m not the only one they have impressed.  The funds for this debut issue was provided by Rushworth Community House. Visit their myspace page to donate to the next issue. 

Hmmm…they even managed to coax me out of my funk. 

I’M BACK BABY!

-mamaV

Download REAL magazine here!

Misery. We wallow in it, we promote it, we continue behaviors to fuel it, all while telling others we are trying. Are we trying? Or have you given up at the moment?

If you are at the depths of your ED, you are probably ready to smack me right now, but that’s good. At least you are alive and thinking. The hard thing about eating disorders is they are all encompassing. You are either in, or out, there’s is not a lot of in between.

Plus nothing phases you when you are in deep. The mind reels incessantly, like a hamster on a wheel, squeaking as it spins, day in and day out, until you don’t know what normal is anymore. Can you imagine if someone was tape recording your daily thoughts? Nuts. Absolutely insane.

How many times would you say negative feelings about yourself?

How much would you be questioning your actions? What you said? How you said it? What ‘they’ think of you?

It’s a damn living nightmare, but I am here to say you can come back. Come back stronger, and harder, and more confident. You can beat this devil of a disease, but it takes persistence, resilience, and one hell of a lot of energy.

Let me tell you what’s waiting for you on the other side. Visualize being capable of;

Reading a book and not losing your place because you can’t concentrate on anything but hunger pains.

Sitting at the dinner table with friends, focused on their faces, expressions, and their words, rather than the food that will not stop calling your name.

The mirror becomes just a mirror, not the arch enemy, judge and jury.

Forgetting, honestly, forgetting to eat because you were so engaged in an activity.

Tell me the last thing you did where you felt like you were in the moment?

Just living life for life’s sake.

Let’s talk new year.  Fresh start. Breaking old habits. Building upon healthy ones.

I want you to: Believe, conceive, achieve.

-mamaV

PS my new year’s resolution is to stop underestimating. When it comes to time, energy, effort, you name it- I will underestimate what it will take to accomplish it. I like to call it “optimism….to a fault.”

This woman really needs no introduction. I think we can all listen and learn.

-mamaV

For your interpretation girls.

Hmmm, what would mamaV say?

Love you!

XOXO