Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

Here’s a “Dear Abbey” of sorts. I received this email today, name and location has been changed to protect privacy. I figured this community would give some interesting advice.

The story is all too familiar…

Hello mamaVISION,

My name is Zoe i am 17 years old and weigh a healthy 13
stone. I was walking around a fashion show which was being held in my
local area, when i was spotted by Storm models the very same people
who manage Kate Moss.

They asked me if i was interested in modeling and i immediately said
yes to them. I was asked to go downtown the very next day to
meet a photographer who would take some photos for a portfolio.

This was all fine until two months afterwards, i was told to lose 3
stone so i was 10 stone! That would make me have a BMI of 18.0 which i
do not think is healthy. I am now on a diet of 270 calories each day
and have collapsed twice in the last four days. I am not sure what to
do, because they are relying on me to do fashion week!

I feel trapped, and was handed some laxatives by a fellow model what
should i do?

Dear ZT:  

You, and only you can make this decision. If you want to be a model, you need to follow the rules. All of which are quite clear.

I have never been one to tell others what to do when it comes to modeling, its a personal choice. I do try to forewarn others what they are getting into with the fashion industry, and fortunately for you Zoe, you have discovered the facts early in the game.

Ask yourself this question: 

How will you feel if you walk away from this opportunity?

When I was asked this question at 16, I said:

I’ll wonder my whole life what I could have done.

I wanted it. I wanted to be a model. I wanted the excitement, the attention, and really it was a blessing in disguise for me. Crap, I barely got out alive, but still would not change a thing.

Zoe, I wish you health and happiness, and I would never encourage anyone to starve. But the reality is, it goes with the territory. Now you need to decide if being a model is worth the pain and suffering.

I encourage you to reach out to your parents, or any other friend or family member that you trust to help you think through this decision. I posted you question here so you can also ponder the thoughts of others.

Take care,

mamaV

This is an image from a Tokyo Fashion Magazine.

Fact or Fiction?

Photoshopped or Real?

Does it really even matter either way?

The fact is it is in print, and therefore it is real. The image exists, and the message is clear, isn’t it girls.

2008 is off to a great frickin’ start.

-mamaV

Taken from: Numéro Tokyo Magazine (February 2008 issue)
Photo: René Habermacher and Jannis Tsipoulanis

As 2007 comes to a close, I thought we would like to revisit this year in dreaded pictures. These are great, bad examples girls. Hold them up as what you are determined not to be.

Supermodel weighing in at under 100 pounds, standing 5’9, hailed a frickin hero.

Former model dead in dear friends arms. A 60 pound grown woman and no one blinks.

No words.

Top Model Barbie. And we thought regular old barbie was too skinny.

Mother, friend, doctor…taken from rising star son by a fat sucking surgeon. If only she would have known how truly beautiful she was.

Spine of anorexic mannequin whispers to you “size zero.”

Teeny Vogue promotes toothpick legs driving home thinspiration message to teenage girls worldwide.

Size 0 pills are all the rage.

Jennifer Hewlett’s ass is evaluated by the world.

Diabetics discover no shots = no fat.

Anorexic child paraded on American TV for our viewing pleasure.

RETRACTION AUGUST 16, 2008

I received a heartfelt message from the mother of the child above, she said the following:

We did not take pleasure having to go on our local news to try to raise money for our daughters treatment when insurance turned us down.  We did the only thing we could think of ,which was to bring to light the fact that our state insurance would not pay for a 10 year old to go into treatment because it was out of state. We told our story , and because we came forward ,the treatment center  was willing to help us. I would not have talked openly about our story otherwise. If I had to do it again I would , because it not only helped us but through my journey I have met other families in our situation.   I am all for the fact that you want to bring ED to light and show how bad they are , but we really don’t like the
 fact that it sounds like we took pleasure in going public, because we didn’t. We have had to battle this illness for 2 years now and it is the hardest thing our family has ever had to go through.  I just wish that you would think about what the families might think when they see what you put about their child on your site.

RESPONSE FROM MAMAV:

Thank you for reaching out to me and explaining your story. I will post a follow up on your daughter and revise the caption as you have requested. How is your daughter doing? Have you been able get all the help you need?
 
My blog is sharp and cutting. I feel it needs to be to express the point of desparation we are in with this disease and culture. I do not intend to hurt individuals such and yourself, and for that I sincerely apologize for hurting you and your family. You have been through enough already. I hope you will accept my sincere apology.

Size 8 is the new full size according to ANTM. Tyra also manages to make old horrifying (notice reflection in mirror).

Guys join in the anorexic fun.

Pro Ana Halloween costume makes its debut. Add some fake jugs and we are in for some fun.

Supermodel Gemma Ward put to shame for her chubby appearance.

Anorexic poses for billboard in Italy, causing nothing more than a blip on the fashionista radar.

Ugly Betty beautified and skinnyfied on Glamour.

Mum kisses her little girl goodbye as she sends the 12 year old to the wolves.

Young woman holds coins and rings in her collarbones and shouts to mamaV “it was a joke!” (still don’t get it).

Spooky models remind girls far and wide runway modeling is not for the faint of heart.

Tunsdall kicks ass when she is told she is “too old to be a rockstar” at 26 years of age.

Faith Hill’s imperfections gleefully brushed away for her adoring fans.

“Skinny bitches” continue to shoot odd pictures of themselves, in various awkward poses and launch them to cyberspace with total disregard of conseqence.

Gil falls silent. But rumor has it she is still with us.

Hollywood knob Perez Hilton makes fun of mental illness and is applauded for his efforts.

Beauty lives on through murder and mayhem, thanks to Tyra Banks deeming this image “fierce!”

The notion of aging gracefully disapears from society.

New Beauty magazine offers every possible way to nip, tuck, and butcher your god given body.

MamaV blows the dust off her 1987 Vogue to remind us where we have been.

We are all still here. We are trying and we are hopeful.

-mamaV

I contributed to an article for the Seattle Post Intelligencer, and I’d like your perspective on the topic.

Did your father contribute to or help you with your eating disorder?

It seems to me fathers, and men in general, are more active and involved on this blog, my youtube and in email. I believe they are tuned eating disorders, and their concern for their daughters rises with the tide.

The 1950′s are over. No more stern, old Fathers sitting at the sidelines watching gentle Mother handle the girlie issues. Thank goodness. Today’s dad’s seem to be willing to jump right in there and express themselves, and urge their daughters to do the same.

My father was and is nothing short of amazing. Always has been and always will be. He had a way of listening, not judging, and above all trusting me (even when he sure as hell shouldn’t have!)

I knew he would love me no matter what. I was a model, and yes he was proud of that, but only because I was proud of it. When my interests shifted elsewhere, he followed along, with a keen sense awareness that my woven path was part of growing up.

His role was to observe my path, not drive it. 

Did you father realize this? Or did he push, and preach, and send you mixed messages?

Paul Nyhan, SeattlePI

The main advice I gave to Paul Nyhan, the reporter for SeattlePI, and a father of a two year old girl;

1) If you call your daughter fat, she will never, ever forget it.

2) Listen to her express her feelings about her body. Don’t shove her feelings away or cut her off. Just listen.

3) Don’t pretend to be the expert, because you aren’t. No man possibly could be. The female conscience on body image is a long, weird, tangled mess – us girls don’t even get it half the time!

What advice would you add to this list?

Be real. Be blunt. Tell him the facts.

I’ll invite Paul to read your responses so he can gather a full view a father’s impact on eating disorders, body image, and the whole beauty saga.

-mamaV

Commenter Anne dared me to post about this story so I couldn’t resist. Although I am not sure why this required such a dare, because this story is old news

NEWS FLASH: Stop blaming models, stars, media – blame your genes.

Here’s a brief on what The Times Online article has to say:

Anorexia may be caused by inherited differences in the way a sufferer’s brain operates, leading to obsessive behaviour, according to research. Rather than being triggered by images of super-thin models and celebrities, the eating disorder could be brought on by the in-built way in which the brain responds to pleasure and reward. It has been argued that images of unhealthily thin stars in the media have encouraged anorexic behaviour in impressionable young women. But a study published in The American Journal of Psychiatry suggests that the brains of anorexia sufferers behave differently to those of the rest of the population and that certain people are born with a susceptibility to develop the condition.

Snore….huh? I’m up here’s a brief on my perspective;

Genes can play a role in anorexia, agreed. I wholeheartedly support any and all efforts to provide these anorexia sufferers with treatment for their disease. This blog is not aimed at that audience. I write to a whole other segment of the population. The young girls and women that tune into “Nip and Tuck” and can’t wait for ANTM (if you don’t know what that stands for, good, you are on the right track).

One can not ignore the overwhelming evidence of cultural and societal influence, a few of the best reports on the other side of this story can be read here;

Dove Global Study: print this thing out and read it. It’s sad as hell. For the record, I am beautiful and not afraid to admit it or say it or be it or think it (psst…Dove is owned by Evil Unilever. My vote? Who cares).

More common than Alzheimer’s:yet insurance stinks. 5-10 Million affected by eating disorders in the US alone. Research funding totals a whopping $1.20 per sufferer (we all need another Gucci bag after all).

You’ve got to live in the US of A to get it, but we are a country obsessed. Forget Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll, we Binge, Purge & Lipo 24/7 in this country. There is no way in hell we are going to spend money to actually figure out why we are all eating disordered – it’s a lifestyle babe.

Been there, done that: Fashion Designers control the sizes. The chic sizes are currently 0, and 00. I am waiting for the negative sizes to make their debut (ie. -3, now that would be rad).

1980′s SuperModels

1990 SuperModel…better known now as ”lard ass.”

2000 SuperModel…way the hell too fat for runway now.

2006 SuperModel…rexy figure maintained by coke on the rocks.

2006-2007 SuperModels….dead.

Yep, all in the genes.

-mamaV

I dug my Vogue magazines out of the basement, dated August 1987. You’ll never guess what I found…..

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfZuDDj-pJ8] 

Size 0 is now available in pill form! Just pop one, I mean four, of these little beauties a day and you too can look like a zombie runway model.

This simply fabulous breakthrough secret is contained in a dainty little black box, with the answer to happiness  plastered front and center just in case you forgot that anything above a size zero is, well, eeewwww.

Brought to you by your friendly mall vitamin store GNC, the leaders in converting lard asses nationwide, into “Hot, Radiant, Alluring, Elegant & Beautiful” creatures.

Just a few silly warnings, pay no mind:

Not intended for use by individuals under the age of 18 (but what about my 10 year old daughter who is dieting with me?)

Consult with a physician prior to, during and after use (I’ll get right on that)

If you are taking any prescription medication or have any medical condition (wait, that eliminates 99% of the population) 

If you have been treated for or diagnosed with, or have a family history of, any medical condition including, but not limited to:high blood pressure, heart disease, liver disease, kidney disease, peptic and gastric ulcers, cardiac arrhythmia, renal disease, hyperthyroidism, spasms, glaucoma, psychiatric disease, psychological conditions, anxiety, depression, nervousness, seizure disorder, stroke, angina, diabetes, asthma, suffer from migraines, are allergic to tyramine or chocolate or sensitive to the effects of caffeine (that eliminates the other 1% of us)

Do not take in conjunction with any supplement or over-the-counter drug containing ephedrine alkaloids, caffeine, pseudoephedrine, phenylpropanolamine or any stimulants. One serving of this product contains approximately as much caffeine as two cups of coffee (catch a buzz off the stuff simultaneously, I like it).

Do not use if you have a history of drug use. Do not use with alcohol (I’m out)

Do not use during high intensity activities in high temperature conditions (exercise not allowed.)

Discontinue use and consult a physician immediately if you experience any of the following: nervousness, sleeplessness, dizziness, cardiac irregularities or rapid heart beat, shortness of breath, tremors, nausea, chest pain, tingling sensations, behavioral changes, loss of consciousness, or other similar symptoms (any one still alive?)

NOTE: The product name Size 0 does not depict the amount of weight loss or clothing size goals that will be achieved with use of this product. Individual results will vary depending of body type and fitness goals.

Manufactured Exclusively for Size 0 Labs
3133 Fortune Way Suite #4 (nice address)

Well, since this one won’t do the trick for me, I’ll pop some “clen.”

Never heard of it? Get with the program man, they’ve been vaccinating horses with it for years.

We are one desperate bunch ladies, and I don’t see any light at the end of this tunnel.

mamaV

Pro anorexia sites are running rampant. We must shut them down quickly and swiftly to save society!

Microsoft steps in and shuts down pro anorexia sites, without a court order. YouTube and Facebook are under the microscope too.

What genius is still beating on this dead drum? 

Don’t tell anyone…but it takes about 5 minutes to set up a new site…hehe…the pro ana’s have their sites back up and running before you can blink. 

Even more scary is there is no logic to this madness.  I overuse this phrase, but I like it; nothing like sticking your head in the sand. And since everyone got really fired up the last time I posted this picture, let’s post it again just for shits and giggles. 

A few stats, which are growing as I type this: 

Google “pro ana” to view over 5 million results

YouTube “thinspiration” hauls in well over 5000 full length videos, a total of 8 uploaded TODAY.

ProAnaThinspo is just an unbelieveable mashup of thin bodies, body parts, stars and real girls that will blow your mind.

How about we face reality think about what the hell we have created here.

On second thought, that sounds like a lot of time and energy. Let’s stick with ‘out of sight, out of mind,’ it’s a lot more convenient, plus I have a lot of shit to buy before Christmas.

-mamaV

Since Pro Ana Privacy is the most visited post these days, I figured it was time for another go around. Especially since I can really feel the love in the comments.

For what it’s worth; I heard a story on the radio that I wanted to share.

A talented young woman recently applied for a job just after she graduated from college. A dream job really, everything she ever wanted. Mom and Dad were so proud.

Little did she know that some pictures that she uploaded to the web many years prior would come back to haunt her.

One in a bikini.
Several in her underwear.

One doing a frickin’ back-bend in her undies.

Not good. No job. Worst of all? No way to remove them – ever.

This thing is permanent girls. It’s called the world wide web and once you CHOOSE to serve yourself up for the taking, you are gone, your privacy is gone, and your future opportunities are at stake.

Think about it next time you want to ask one of your dear ana friends “Do I look fat?”

-mamaV

Hila weighed 60 pounds. My 7 1/2 year old daughter weighs 50.

A fashion model stricken with an all too familiar disease of anorexia. But this time, a friend was at her side. Adi Barkan documented Hila’s struggle, and sent shock waves out to the fashion world, by showing the reality of this situation in one still photograph.

Fashion photographer Adi Barkan is shown cradling Hila Elmalich in a still from a video shot when the model fell ill. (Gil Sadan/Tamar Golan Film)

There’s not much more to say here. Either the fashion industry is going to step up to the plate and make changes, or they are going to continue on their merry way in this deadly game they are playing.

You know what I thought when I saw this photograph?

How, for the love of god, can one be a part of an industry so full of themselves? How do you sit in an audience and stare up at these young women who are clearly not well, and focus on the clothing? Why do clothes, and prestige, and beauty mean this much in our society?

Bless Mr. Barkan’s heart for leading the effort in Israel to change fashion standards for the past three years. Your friend will not die in vain, she will be with you as you carry on in her name.

-mamaV

Dr. Donna West had absolutely everything going for her. Her son a rap star, herself a retired English Professor for Chicago State University, a recently published author, co-founder of Kanye’s Foundation dedicated to improving the nation’s drop out rates.

Why then is she dead?

Beauty attack at 58 years of age.

With fame and money comes vanity. Her quest is a familiar story, an aging woman looking to take off a few curves here and there. Except for Dr. Donna, she suffered complications. She will now miss out on all life had in store for her and it is  doubtful her son will ever be the same. 

Are we nuts?

I mean seriously, how has this society been conned into believing that sucking fat out of various parts of our bodies is normal? Then we take it a step further and inject that same fat elsewhere. I just don’t get it. There is so much at stake.

I’ve had a few times in my life I have had the opportunity to alter what I looked like.

At 16, my agent offered to spring for a boob job. I didn’t even blink before responding ”Hell no.” Then at around 30 years of age, I could no longer wear my contacts, so I seriously considered laser eye surgery. No go. As a mother, I would never, ever forgive myself if I could not see my children grow up, so asking a doctor to take a knife to my eyeballs was out of the question.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming Donna West for her actions. I feel very sad for her. Sad that she took the bullet. Sad that 11million people will follow in her footsteps this year as they go about their beauty quest. Sad that as a society we just are not getting it.

Are you one to think there’s no harm in a nip and tuck here and there?

Read Backlash, by Susan Faludi.

I will never forget reading this book in college for a Women’s Study course I took. Faludi outlines, in agonizing detail, the great lengths we are willing to look pretty.  Honest to god, if you can get through this book and still believe cosmetic plastic surgery is the route to go;

I give up.

mamaV

 We’ve created quite a little research pool here. The way this community picks apart topics, and analyzes issues is truly commendable. I don’t know about you, but I am still smiling about it, and I am passionate about heading into Year 2 as mamaV.  

I look forward to seeing who is saying what, who is pissed at me today, and what you all believe to be life’s truths. Why? Because it challenges our minds, our thoughts, and opinions. Between you and I, I am one of the most wishy washy people you’d ever meet (stop laughing panda07).

Give me a great debate on a topic and I am most easily swayed. In my personal and business life, I give people WAY too many chances, and I am optimistic to a fault. This personality trait has gotten me burned time and time again, but I keep doing it. I am just wired this way.

BUT, there are a few topics in life I am stone cold set on. It is this side of mamaV you see here and these topics drive the passion behind this blog. 

In the past year, one topic that continually gets debated with great passion is;

WHAT THE HELL IS PRO ANA ANYWAY?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lJmuOPzqcs]

To tell you the truth, sometimes the discussions get my head spinning so much, I really couldn’t tell you. But at the end of the day I always come back to this;

If you are looking for support, don’t lean on others with your same problem.

Trust me, this path is bad news.

I just don’t buy it, and no amount of tongue lashing has torn me away from this opinion. Why girls, for the love of God, would you think that when you have an eating disorder, the direction to head for support is to a bunch of eating disordered women?

You’ll sink deeper.

Faster.

Guaranteed.

Kristi4 is an example of this and her journal serves a very important purpose. Her life message is plain and simple – don’t turn to pro ana forums for support, instead run, as fast as you can, in the other direction. I have refused to edit what I have written about her, much to Josie’s dismay, because I know in my heart I have written this out of kindness, not hatred.

I’ve read Kristi’s journal too many times to count, and I am always left with the same impression. Here was a young woman (she was young, only in her 30′s) trying to lead a pro ana “support” community. Although she was surrounded by others in her same situation, she felt alone, depressed and ultimately suicidal. I can’t help but think if she would have turned outside for help that she may still be here today.

This topic gets to the core of why I do this blog, to create forum for discussion, inspiration, and thoughts beyond your eating disorders. There is a whole life out there waiting for you and I am fighting like hell to help you find it.

So if you find yourself part of the pro ana “support” community, I’d like to know this…..as Dr. Phil would say “How’s it workin’ for ya?”

-mamaV

A child is one of life’s most precious gifts. As a mother of two, I simply can not understand or accept how a mother could possibly decide to live the “anorexic lifestyle” or be “pro ana.”

Does it get anymore vain and selfish than this?

Live Journal has quite a growing bunch of mothers who share their pro anorexic lifestyle stories, right out there for the world to see, as if this is something to be proud of. 

318 members

302 watchers

They carry on as if this is a game, all the while their children suffering in the background, as seen in this lovely post;

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME
I CANT HOLD FOOD IN MY STOMACH ANYMORE EVEN THE KIDS R ASKING QUESTION
MOM U R ALWAYS BARFING

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO YOUR KIDS IN A SITUATION LIKE MINE
I HATE MYSELF
I THOUGH I WAS FOOLING EVERYONE I GUESS NOT

Kids are keen. They are intuitive. They do not miss a beat, even at just a few years of age they sense what is going on in the household.

When you are able to give birth to a child, and that child is happy and healthy, I don’t think there is much more one can ask for in life. From that day forward, our job as mothers is to protect that child. Provide them with a secure, balanced, positive enviroment  to grow and to thrive, and to become the person they desire to be.

There is no way in hell a mother can be pro ana, and be a healthy positive influence on her child. It’s impossible. These women who are are CHOOSING this selfish, dangerous, vain lifestyle shouldn’t be parents. I believe if a social worker were to see their online behavior, their parental ability would be in jeopardy.

For the past year, I have read countless stories from courageous young women who post here with their horror stories about their own mothers. They tell how their mothers influenced their own beauty and body image, they express details on their recollection of a childhood filled with negativity towards food, and their mothers constantly warning them not to eat for they too would fall victim to the dreaded fat. They reveal hurt feelings about their mother’s who were more concerned about themselves, than for them or their other siblings.

If your mother is one of these individuals, you need to know this, and believe this. Make it your mantra.

It is not your fault. It is not about you. Your mother was a selfish person before you were born, and she will continue to be this selfish person as you grow and recover from your eating disorder.

Let her be your great bad example. Let her be the person you think of when you think of what you never want to be.

And when the glorious, life changing day comes, when you are given the gift of a child you will understand the depth of love a real mother should have and want nothing more then for your child to live a happy, healthy life providing them with nothing but unconditional love.

Please feel free to share your personal story of your mother. Was she a positive influence on your beauty and body image? Or did she contribute to you low self esteem and/or eating disorder?

Let these pro ana Mom’s know what they are doing to their kids, maybe a few of them will head our advice and get their head screwed on straight.

-mamaV

Mother daughter image credit: Julie Harris

This woman really needs no introduction. I think we can all listen and learn.

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=yUTJQIBI1oA]

-mamaV

Pole dancing, as done in strip clubs, is the new trend for kids.

Children, as young as seven years of age, are being taught and encouraged to use pole dancing moves as a form of exercise, causing an uproar in Sydney, Australia.

Touted as a “confidence booster” … Angela Perry instructs 11-year-old Angela at her Pole Fitness Studio and (inset) Britney Spears. Picture: Brad Newman

The Australian Family Association said the classes were inappropriate. “There are plenty of exercise tools out there. Why choose a pole, the classic phallic symbol of the pornographic world?” spokeswoman Angela Conway said.

“By putting children in a pole dancing exercise class you’re teaching children a sexual body language that they don’t know the meaning of but adults do,” she said.

With all the many activities and sports out there for our children, why do we resort to this crap, and then have parents justifying it?

“It’s not slutty or anything. I’ve seen pole dancing on TV and they don’t do anything like that here,” Julie the 42-year-old mother of Angela said. “It’s building up her strength after she got ill and it doesn’t put too much pressure on her muscles. She’s much stronger, healthier and more confident.”

Not slutty? Not sexualization of children? 

One question Julie….exactly how many boys do we have signed up for pole dancing?

My guess would be a big ole’ zero,

-mamaV 

Thanks to Tipster Christine for this story. 

Let’s continue our discussion on Sarah Hartshorne, the size 8 “plus sized” model on America’s Next Top Model, since the first post brought out such great thinking and debate!

Sarah Hartshorne, the too fat for the big time “real model”

Many of you pointed me back to Kerry Elizabeth’s post and suggested I should get my facts straight on this situation before posting about it. True, I did not see the show, my comments came from seeing Sarah speaking on Entertainment Tonight (for the life of me I can’t find it! It’s on youtube somewhere).

Here is what Kerry Elizabeth had to say;

“In the first episode of this cycle she (Tyra) made several comments about how “she (Sarah) wasn’t “plus enough” to be a plus model” that she was “on the thin” side,
but instead of saying “lose weight” to be a high fashion model…or instead of saying “gain weight” to be a true plus size, they are keeping her at her normal weight.

Then they said “if it’s not plus what is she?” and Ms. Jay said “real size modeling” and Tyra said-”i like that, i’m a real size model too!” …..so i guess i dont really see her as saying size 8 is plus.

and on top of that in the first epidsode….Last night’s episode during the deliberation- when they looked at Sarah’s picture, they said they loved her, but it makes them Upset that she’s LOST weight. because its straying away from the idea that she was going to be herself-this “real sized” model. “

so…while i practically am always in favor of your posts and the beliefs behind them…
this is one i dont completely agree with, especially after i’ve watched all of the episodes so far. and i really do believe that Tyra is on our side of this battle..

 Here is my rebuttal:

What is Sarah the “real model” going to be doing after the show?

She is too big to land any “real” modeling jobs, too small to work the plus model circuit so she will need to find a….real job.

For those of you that cringed when I said Sarah is “too big,” why did you? Sarah is the exact size as I am. I know I am not “big,” but I know I am ”too big” to be a model according to today’s standards. Are you able to make this differentiation, or somewhere deep down does this make you feel like you don’t measure up? 

REALITY CHECK: SARAH IS THIN.

Tyra planned this….poorly.

This is a planned ploy. Do you think Sarah was just a random pick for the show? The producers deliberately picked her so they could make this point, and they did a sucky job at it.  No doubt Tyra speaks out about her objection to today’s modeling standards, after all she no longer fits the bill, and she has been berated by the press for it (totally unfair in my view).

Here’s my issue with Tyra- she could be doing so much more, but she is falling back on her modeling roots, and that bothers me. She is placing herself out front and center as a role model, choosing the next top model, yet trying to make this weak side commentary about how things “should be.”

Seems like a totally lame attempt for change, no? 

REALITY CHECK: TYRA IS NOT PUSHING FOR YOU, TYRA IS PUSHING FOR TYRA.

Why are you all watching America’s Top Model?

It would seem to me that this program would not be the best for your psyche when you are dealing with and ED, but hey, that’s just me.

What does attract you to this show? Pure and simple entertainment, or a desire to watch the pretty people and make yourself feel like crap? Just curious.

Bottom line, Tyra needs a new business manager. This girl could work wonders with the right cause, right time, right place.

But hey, who am I to judge. Tyra’s raking in the millions thanks to all of you who tune in each week.

As always, to each her own.

-mamaV

I have been pondering this whole Britney Spears saga since her painful performance at the MTV awards a few weeks back. The entire discussion of her being a lard ass was so beyond my comprehension, I didn’t feel a need to discuss it.  

But stumbling on her new video ”Gimme More” this morning, featuring Britney humping a mirror, put me completely over the edge. 

The name of the song is slutty. 

The first words uttered are “it’s Britney bitch.”

The video looks like it was shot is some rat hole strip joint.

And Britney….well, it ain’t pretty.

“Gimme More” Strip Show Video

May I ask that the hell is going on here?

We have a young woman, reportedly with a drug problem, being totally and completely exploited for her sexuality, and we are all just watching the collapse of this human being, salivating.

I am not a prude, but c’mon already. Did she really need a video, shot in a strip joint, moaning & humping in all out hooker garb?!

Here’s the kicker: The song is topping the charts. We are one classy society people.

Here’s the questions I have for you:

1 What makes a woman want to flaunt herself in this manner (drugs aside)?

I realize I was never really cut out to be a model. I was totally embarrassed to give the camera sexy, pursed looks.  It just felt weird and silly to me. I recall my agent telling me I needed to be more sexy, at 16 mind you, and coaching in his ugly french accent ”you have to make them want you.”

Want me for what? Rape? Porn? Bondage?

2) What is this video expressing to young women?

Same old crap, use your body cause its all you got. This is why you are on the earth girls. Got it, flaunt it. Sex is all that matters.

What happened to modesty? What happened to grace and class?

3) What does this say about us?

We are a country totally and completely obsessed with celebrity and fame. We chase these stars unto the ground, waiting for them to crack, and when they do we live and breath their pain.

We wish we were them. We starve, nip and tuck ourselves to be them.

I’ll let you in on a little secret…..they hate themselves, we hate ourselves, and the world goes round and round.  Nuts. The whole thing is totally nuts, and I don’t want any part of it.

Britney, bless your heart child. I hope you find your way,

-mamaV

We have had some healthy debates since the loss of Kristi and the Internet Suicide post. I wanted to thank you all for your heartfelt, pissed off, sometimes angry, sometimes sad comments – I can not thank you enough.

Here is what I have learned about the Pro-Anorexia community, thanks to you.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZNSc0BAxZk]

With that said, I think we need to separate eating disorder sufferers into groups – they are vast and different. We all tend to relate back to our own experiences and this can really limit our perspective. I see the differentiation as follows:

1 Anorexia/Bulimia is a brain disease.

Food and control go hand in hand. The control gained by restricting food intake is done in an attempt to compensate for feelings and emotions that may otherwise seem over-whelming. For some, dieting, bingeing, and purging may begin as a way to cope with painful emotions and to feel in control of one’s life, but ultimately, these behaviors will damage a person’s physical and emotional health, self-esteem, and sense of competence and control.

(Images from documentary THIN by Lauren Greenfield)

Studies show that in some individuals with eating disorders, certain brain chemicals that control hunger, appetite, and digestion are imbalanced. The exact meaning and implications of these imbalances remains under investigation.

Eating disorders often run in families. Current research is indicates that there are significant genetic contributions to eating disorders.

2 Anorexia/Bulimia is a media disease.

Women of today look to models and hollywood for their standard of beauty, thinspiration images fill their heads, and send these individuals on a quest to “be anorexic.”

One does not need to try to be anorexic if they fall into category #1 above. When your eating disorder stems from brain chemicals or genetics, your goal is to try NOT to be anorexic.

In the case of the anorexic wanna-be’s it seems the desire to be thin starts innocently enough but overtime evolves into something more complicated-something I equate to brainwashing.

You know what really scares me? This group seems to dominate the Pro-Anorexia sites and YouTube. Their influence can not be underestimated. Day after day I receive messages from women stating they are drawn to their Thinspiration videos and images even though they know how detrimental they are to their recovery.

3 Anorexia/Bulimia is a family disease.

Not don’t freak out here, I am not pulling the ole’ Giselle theory on you.

By saying “family” I mean to say that many girls can point back to a specific incident or one comment made by a family member and/or friend that seemed to immediately trigger their dieting, which evolved to restricting, purging, exercising and ultimately anorexia.

A grandpa that called you fat.

A sister that compared her thighs to yours.

A mom that dieted incessantly.

A father that spoke of women being fat.

Sound familiar? All too familiar, I hear these stories daily.

It is these types of comments that take us from here:

True Colors by Dove

To here:

THIN documentary

4 Anorexia/Bulimia is a combination of all of the above.

To confuse things more, many of us likely see parts of our disorder in 1, 2, and 3. So how to make sense of it all? I am not sure we need to. Instead focus on indentifying where your disorder stems from, and seek help. Professional help, perhaps supplemented by online forms of support. I do understand the insurance related issues many of you face, but please reach out to NEDA to see if there are free or discounted forms of treatment available.

—

Which brings me to my final thought for the day.

Pro-Anorexia groups are receiving a bad rap…time for a name change. You need to re-invent yourselves into something that is not an immediate RED FLAG to every parent out there, not to mention the media who loves to jump all over you.

Those of you who a receiving support from the Pro-Anorexia sites, namely the Live Journal friends who have posted here, what to you think of differentiating yourself from the pack? I really think this is essential. There is a site called WeBiteBack which may interest you. They call their group post-pro-anorexia.

Check it out and let me know your thoughts,

mamaVISION

(a.k.a. mamaV as I have come to be known by some. So hip.).

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Anorexia has killed yet another, but this time the death of a young girl is documented, minute by minute, for the world to see.

Kristi, the ring leader of the Live Journal Pro-Anorexia site documents her last moments of life on the post below, proving yet again the adapting pro-ana lifestyle is messing with fire.

No fear pro-anas, your journals will not miss a beat. Your new leader immediately took over for Kristi, reiterated the PRO-ANA MISSION, and dedicated to convincing us all you are an eating disorder “support” site.

Hold your comments Pro-Anas: I have no intention of interfering with your beloved sites, since I am a believer in free speech and removing the pro-ana sites from the web serves no purpose. I refuse to put my head in the sand.

My purpose is to educate. Educate parents, friends, and family on the rampant nature of the Pro-Anorexia community online.

My message is getting through, I receive comments from girls from all over the world that admit they visit your sick community, and have realized you are leading them down a path towards destruction.

PARENTS, HERE IS WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

These are the bracelets they where, proud of their starvation lifestyle. The bracelets readily available online:

This is their status symbol. A feeding tube, afterall, proves you are a hard core anorexic:

This is what they stress about, a day over 200 calories is a total crisis:

These are their proud snapshots, showing off their accomplishments for all to see:

Why do I care? This was me, a model at 16, 5’9, 125 pounds and miserable as hell. My self confidence stripped from me by my Modeling agent and the Fashion Industry.

No one is going to tell me that the Media does not play a role in anorexia- not in every case, but in many.

The worst part of this story? The pro-anorexic girls I “featured” here would be proud to have their skeletons highlighted for the world to see. Their starvation success achieved, the attention they crave fulfilled.

If you want to join my cause, please leave your comments on the Official Public Petition to the Council of American Fashion Designers.

Together we can end this absolute madness.

-mamaVISION

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=IiTkekeTuBE&v2]

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