Body Image Activist, Eating Disorders mamaVISION

I'm reading "You would be so pretty if…" by Dana Chadwick in preparation for a BlogHer session I may be leading.

The title made me think back to when I have heard these words from someone, so it made me curious as to what hurtful comments all of you have buried over the years.

"You'd be so pretty if you just wore a little more makeup."

This one was basically saying I was a "plain Jane" and I should jazz it up a bit. I basically let it roll off, but it did kind of bug me anyway because it was just such an necessary thing to say.

"You'd be so pretty with a little more color."

Ok, I know I am a major whitey – but that is by choice. This is perhaps the one good thing I learned from the modeling days – stay out of the sun. This was to of course protect my skin from wrinkles but also because any sort of tan line was a no-no.

So, it's your turn. Tell me when you heard someone utter these words and how you felt.

-mV

As women, we fantasize about being someone else.

If only we could be perfect chick, with the ideal bod. The one that makes it all look effortless. You love her and hate her at the same time….and would like nothing more than to be her.

It’s called Perfection Projection. And its total B.S. It will destroy you, if it has not already.

"The habit of comparing ourselves mercilessly to others first forms at this age, and it proves central to the development and continuation of eating disorders and eating-disordered behavior," suggests Courtney Martin in Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters.

Are you like Gina? The willing subject of Martin’s "girl talk" research, who finds herself stating "Sure, she has a nice body. She doesn’t have to worry. It makes me feel self conscience standing next to her."

Well, I got news for you- I was that perfect girl. And it sucked, bigtime.

I was the one everyone hated standing next to. As I entered a room, I was looked up and down by every jealous female, feeling the mean spirited eyes of judgment through their fake smiles, all the while hearing their whispers; "She’s the model. She thinks she’s hot shit. She isn’t that pretty,"

All of it sucked. But more importantly, I never felt perfect. I never had less self esteem than when I was a model. Those six years of my life were the most trying on my self esteem and confidence, which got so low I never thought I would get my groove back.

I dressed down in baseball hats and no makeup for years. I hid my true self for the sake of others insecurities. Perhaps the saddest part is I know why I did it, and I am not sure I would change a thing. I wanted others to be comfortable with me. I didn’t want to stand out in a crowd, in fact after my modeling hell ride, I wanted to fade into oblivion.

We need compassion. True compassion for others. True understanding that there is no perfect, and a commitment to stop striving for it.

If you are longing to be another, you need to look yourself in the mirror today and ask why? Why are you so unhappy with what god gave you that you waste your time absorbed in self comparison.

Your issue is much deeper than your thinner, prettier friend that you wish you could push away from standing by your side.

Love,

mamaV

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I had to post a few images from the inside of the new book My Beautiful Mommy, since a peek inside makes this even more of a joke.

Check this out;

Pea-head Dr. Michael has been pumping some serious iron, and I doubt this dude has 8 legit certifications to hang on his wall.

Here Mommy dreams of being a beauty queen as she assures her little girl she needs to be prettier. Are you fricken kidding me?

Here Mommy explains in her half shirt and flat stomach how she is going to have a bandaged tummy and nose. Um…where exactly is this fat that is going to be removed from her midsection?

The author has stated this book was written partially for women who undergo surgery after pregnancy… but doesn’t explain what a nose job has to do with post pregnancy. What a total farce.

Sometimes I think I am in the twilight zone. Am I alone here?

-mamaV

Miss Bimbo is an online beauty contest designed around our society. I am amazed at the total freak out over this game, especially since we created this world, we feed it so now marketers are cashing in on it.

Pure capitalism at it’s finest.

Launched in February 2008, Bimbo is so popular, their servers crashed and the creators can’t even keep up with the demand, so here is the basic concept per Wikepedia;

“The aim of the Miss Bimbo beauty contest game, which was launched in the United Kingdom in February 2008, is to make your virtual “bimbo” attractive and famous. Players create a virtual persona and compete against other players to earn “bimbo” dollars. These dollars are used to take one’s character partying or to purchase new clothes. The players are given assignments, such as gaining plastic surgery at the game’s clinic to give their character bigger breasts. They used to have to keep their character at its target weight using diet pills, however, due to the massive negative media attention it has received, that option has been eliminated.”

Nicolas Lacquart, the creator of Bimbo defends his game stating the mission is to teach children about the real world. Not sure I want this dude teaching my kids anything, but I have to hand it to him because it is absolutely right.

We reap what we sow.

-mamaV

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Fun Facts About Our Beauty Deranged Society:

$1.3 billion is spent on Botox annually

Breast implants have become gifts from parents to their teenage daughters.

Dreaming Girl’s Fantasy plastic surgery hospital in China serves patients seeking a extensive head to toe cosmetic reworking.

The Miss Plastic Surgery competition in Beijing awarded the grand prize to a plastic beauty boasting 10 surgical procedures.

MTV’s I Want A Famous Face and The Swan are only two of the many reality shows dedicated to plasticising.

Hollywood pops “clen,” a deadly steroid for horses to treat asthma.

Dr. Vail Reese, an LA dermatologist hosts the “Skinnies Awards” designed to rip on celebrities with less than perfect complexions.

More more read Beauty Junkies by Alex Kuszynski

This video response was posted to me from YouTube regarding the Internet Suicide post. I feel this individual articulates a point of view that is worth sharing because she speaks as an outsider coming into a pro ana community, and being caught off guard on what she finds.

Thoughts?

mamaV