Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

Gotta say I get sick of writing about this crap. But its never ending.

Ok so Demi collapses. Big surprise seeing that she is a skeleton (not attractive). I can’t help but feel so sad for her. She just looks so damn sad. Thin as a rail, rumors of prescription drugs on top of it, and just —a lost soul. A lost soul with the whole world stalking her.

There’s no reason in the world for Demi to be lost. She’s got “it all.” Is it only me who finds it ironic that she had to drop out of a film in which she would be Gloria Steinem? 49 and beside herself. If she is beside herself, what hope is there for us?

So SJP swoops in to save the day. Is she any better? I hope so. I really hope so, she’s a mom for godsake (but so is Demi and that’s not stopping her self pity).

I’m 42 and I see the games aging plays. I’m not going to pretend its easy. But it’s just a facade. Why can’t we see beyond this life?

Trust me I pray, and I pray that I will beat it. I won’t be one of those pathetic stretched faced broads carrying on like a frozen alien face is normal. I’ll just deal with the natural path of things. I’ll use night cream from ALDI. I’ll say wise things. I’ll be happy, and smart, and content. I won’t think about how people are saying “she’s aging well.” I’ll blow off all that crap and live life, fingers crossed.

One thing is for sure. I don’t want to look like Demi — she is the picture of fear to me. Fear of life, fear of time, fear of just everything. And she is stuck, she’s got no choice but to live it, so pop some pills and forget about it all….

But you know, you gotta wake up in the morning. You’ve got to put one foot in front of the other just like the rest of us, and God’s got a plan for you. There’s a purpose. And that purpose is not sitting around worrying that the big 30, or 40, or 50, 0r 60, or 70 is around the corner.

That’s enough depressing talk for the evening.

Good night and good luck -

mv XOXO

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Hi mamaV,

I have recently come across this website and was going to post in the forum but im not sure in ready for the public yet! However I really needed to tell someone how im feeling right now even if they dont respond and something inside tells me that you ‘will get it’.

I have struggled with bulimia since I was 18 and I guess you could say I am still in ‘recovery’. I have just turned 25 and am really trying to understand the way I feel right now and working out if it is normal.

Ok.. so Im at the stage where I am in the normal weight range and I no longer binge or purge on a daily basis. I do on occasion but only if I really feel it is needed. I eat and maintain my weight because I know its the right thing to do but inside I feel more miserable than ever! Its strange because people seem to think that if you are a certain weight then you must be fine but I can’t seem to stop the way my brain thinks.

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I heard the news of this commercial Yoplait commercial that was pulled after receiving pressure from the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) from several people and finally had a chance to see it this morning.

My reaction;

1) No shit this is triggering.

2) The second woman who grabs the yogurt, the one who inspires the first to make her decision on what to eat, looks gaunt, pale, and way thin…nice casting.

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A dear friend of mine sent me this song that you need to hear. This singer has struggled our struggles and she no doubt expresses it in this tune “Control.”

If only we could let it go, you know? It’s like we can gain glimpses of it, but then we slip back into our patterns of incessant worry over all the things that might happen, could be happening, will occur (even when 99% of it never does).

This is why I believe it is essential to surround yourself with people, music, images, and family who “get it” and who make you feel optimistic about yourself and life.

Have a listen, or two, or twenty — and keep your head screwed on straight today.

Lyrics: CONTROL
words and music by Dave and JJ Heller

The cut is deep, but never deep enough for me
It doesn’t hurt enough to make me forget
One moment of relief is never long enough
To keep the voices in my head
From stealing my peace

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Here is a video I recorded for a national effort to spread awareness for eating disorders, you NEED to get involved — if you are comfortable with exposing your self on video of course. Below is more detail on how to submit your video.

In this vid, I am responding to the question; “What do you wish people knew about eating disorders?” (I held it done to 4 min, but could have gone on for an hour, I am sure you relate).

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Not all — but a large population of today’s eating disorders stem from our societies focus on body image and weight.

Let’s face it — our society is nuts.

We accept the fact that “Plus-Sized” models are now size 8-16. We accept the fact that magazines airbrush the living crap out of every single image of women within their pages yet we hold ourselves up to that standard. We accept the fact that kids as young as 4 are dieting (yes that is a f-o-u-r). We accept the fact that more lives are lost because of eating disorders than any other mental illness but God forbid we fork over the $ to treat sufferers. We accept the fact that Pro-Anorexia is a lifestyle that has infiltrated every corner of the web and our solution is to “Shut down those sites!” We accept the fact that dieting moms push their issues on their daughters. We accept the fact that sports require restricting food and water for weight requirements and pure vanity. We accept the fact that fat chat is a daily event that takes place in front of our children with listening ears.

But then we sit and wonder;

What’s wrong with our children? Why are they not happy? Why are they cutting? Why is there so much bullying? Why did that child commit suicide?

It all comes as a shock when you don’t open your eyes and walk around this insane planet for one day and notice how totally destructive our society is to our self image and body image.

Do it — I double dare you. Watch prime-time TV tonight. Google the word “thinspiration.” Open a fashion magazine, pick one, anyone and see the walking dead who are hailed the closest thing to perfect that we’ve ever seen. Browse this list of dead women consumed by their disease. Look at the athletes lost who were more dedicated to their sport than their lives. Take a stroll into Victoria Secret at the mall (actually you don’t even need to step inside since the massive promotional images on the outside of the store include a woman’s ass in a lace thong which is so appropriate).

Then go about your lovely little day. Concerned about your lovely little problems. While your children stick their fingers down their throats within earshot while you pretend to not notice. A burden you say. A frickin burden.

mamaV

XOXOXOXOX

**Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, psychiatrist, therapist or counselor. I am however a woman who has recovered (fully) from her eating disorder and I have been blogging on this topic since 2006 which stands for something. Qualified to make these statements? No. Making them anyway? Yes. Ranking like a lunatic? Absolutely.

I received an email from the producer of Oprah’s long awaited new show “Addicted To Food.” Below is the episode in full, please watch it and post your feedback. I’ll admit, I have mixed feelings — I liked it more than I thought I would. More thoughts below the video.

PROS:

1. I liked the way the show was shot, it seemed genuine, real — and as “non-exploitive” as possible.  I am thinking some of you will feel the bulimic and/or eating scenes were not necessary, but I would disagree because the realness of it added to true sickness of the disease(s).
2. The show successfully captured the deep, dark, sadness individuals with an eating disorder suffer with — alone, day after day and often year after year.
3. The philosophy that all eating disorders are at the core the same issue, I agree with and the atmosphere of placing individuals with all different disorders is different than I am accustomed to (ie anorexic and bulimics treated together, separate from compulsive overeaters for example).

CONS:

1. Individuals featured in the show may experience regret from “going  public” with their healing process.
2. Can one really be themselves with a camera in their face? If it was me — not a chance. I think it would hinder me a great deal.

Still pondering this….

The mother of Isabelle Caro, the anorexic French model who died last year, has committed suicide according to Daily Mail. Read the full story about Isabelle here.

‘[Marie] felt guilty for having put my daughter in the Bichat Hospital. My daughter did not want to go to that hospital,’ Isabelle’s step-father Christian told Swiss newspaper 20 Minutes.

In 2008 Isabelle released an autobiography called The Little Girl Who Didn’t Want to Get Fat in which she wrote that her mother appeared to resent her growing up.

What a horribly sad story. There really is not much else to say is there?

mV

XOXO

Thanks to SS for keeping me abreast of this story over the past week. I contemplated writing about this dude, but didn’t because I figured it was a waste of breath, and less publicity would make him go away faster. But todays turn of events just made this story worth my time.

Kenneth Tong, wearing what appears to be a Rosary around his neck (either that or a pearl necklace which may be a fashion statement) spent the last week firing up the Twitter-sphere with a “hoax” pro-anorexia site or as he likes to call it ‘managed anorexia.”

Tong claims the site was simply a bet. A bet with a friend to try and become a “trending topic” on Twitter in less than a week (because he loves a challenge!) Tong figured the topic “pro-anorexia” would do the trick, so he started tweeting deranged commentary that unfortunately most of us are quite used to such as;

“”To be thinner, skip dinner. Anorexia is not evil, it is an often mismanaged blessing. Yadda, yadda, yadda”

Sorry gang, but in my world, what is the big deal? Proanorexia sites are EVERYWHERE. I have been screaming this from the rooftops for, let’s see, 5 years now and for some reason this dude awoke the masses to this topic. I guess I need to make it a joke for anyone to pay attention. In a sense, I guess I am glad this is happening because maybe some parents will start googling proana and thinspo to get a seriously painful reality check.

Ok, now I am fired up.

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Knowledge is power.

I support the National Eating Disorder Association, and if you are looking for help NOW they have an awesome ANONYMOUS helpline your can call to chat with someone who gets it.

What do you have to lose?

Just call ‘em will ya?!

Love,

mamaV

XOXO

PS Life is MUCH better on the other side.

Ok, the promos for this new E! show are so totally sensationalized its pathetic…but the show itself, I have mixed feelings about.

First, check out the promo.

The music, the images, the narrator voice — totally over the top. But then I went the E! site to see videos of the actual show and I thought it may have some value. What do you think?

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Meet Sophie Watson.

Quite a lovely, 14 year old girl isn’t she?

(She would be lovelier without those freckles though, don’t ya think? But at least her tattooed eyeliner, eyebrows and lip liner makes her otherwise shallow features stand out).

“I am happy. I just look a lot better, Sophie says.

“I like it now that it is always there and I don’t need to bother with it every morning.”

Her mother, a demented beauty therapist (that’s a new one), said she gave permission for the make-up treatment, according to BBC News.

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Everything is wrong about this story -EVERYTHING (and don’t you dare rip into me about calling this girl anorexic, I don’t even want to hear it, let’s just call a spade a spade already and stop with this PC non-sense).

Ahhh, on to my points;

Healthy Magazine (oh, the irony) has digitally altered a model to appear to weigh more than she actually does. Or as the rest of the articles on this topic are quoting “Skinny Model Airbrushed To Look Fatter”

Irritating. Ridiculous. Just plain wrong.

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See the FaceBook Group here! We are up to 1,200 members!

Tipsters informed us of the location of Oprah’s Inside Rehab program, Shades of Hope Treatment Center in Buffalo Gap, Texas. This treatment facility is where the program “Ruby” was filmed, shown at left with Oprah herself. Read more about it here.

Shades of Hope will be featured on Dr. Oz this Friday during the segment on food addiction. And they are twittering away about it today, so I am thinking they aren’t planning on keeping their involvement a secret.

Here’s what I am wondering, why would a treatment center want to participate in a Reality TV show? If you are so inclined, feel free to contact Shades of Hope and share your feelings. However, I ask that you do NOT go ballistic on these people.

Tell them your feelings in a mature, professional manner so we are viewed as the serious eating disorder community that we are, a group that truly cares and wants to make sure patients are not exploited in any way, shape or form. I understand this is a highly emotional topic, but we really do need to be respectful in order to be heard.

Ok, breathe…..here’s the contact info:

Phone Number: 1-800-588-4673
Mailing Address: P.O. Box 639, Buffalo Gap, TX 79508
Physical Address: 402-A Mulberry Street, Buffalo Gap, TX 79508

Email: Contact Us Form

Here is a video of the owner talking about why she got into this field of work;

Have you been interviewed for the show? If you would like to share your experience email mamavision@gmail.com

Join our FB group working hard to gain the attention of Oprah’s publicity team to let them know our concerns.

WARNING: I DO NOT DO TRIGGER WARNINGS.

For 4 years I have been attempting to educate the public, parents, mental health professionals and anyone else that will listen about pro-anorexia.

Pro-anorexia is the belief that “anorexia is a lifestyle.” Google the terms “proana,” “thinspo” to be sickened. On YouTube, an average of five videos per day are uploaded filled with images, music, and mantras all meant to keep these proana girls motivated on their goal to starve themselves to be like the Hollywood stars they admire.

Most people turn away and tell me “I can’t handle that, but guess what, we must. Others tell me I should be softer, and nicer to celebs who pave the way for girls. Ain’t happenin’

Check out these links to get a sense of what I am talking about here:

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