The world mocks a man in the depths of mental illness.

I am failing at my attempt to steer clear of the Charlie Sheen saga, but it’s too sad,CHarlie Sheen Video Sheens Korner scary, and odd to look away. I followed, then un-followed him on Twitter, only to find myself waking up each day to watch the Today show for the latest on Sheen’s Korner.

At first I figured Mr. Tiger Blood was just a cocky drug addict on an ego driven binge (which is nothing to laugh at) but the videos in the past two days turned a corner into something different.

Something that I recognized.

The experts are now saying he may be Bi-Polar, in the midst of a maniac episode. Seems entirely reasonable to me. The part that bothers me so much is that Sheen’s public video testimony being played out in public shows how very shallow we all are. Why do we like to watch others people’s pain? They say its because it makes us feel better about ourselves. I think that is a crock. I’d say its just pure entertainment, an escape from our bla-zay lives.

Back to the public, we are a very judgmental bunch that gets their laughs out of seeing mentally ill people aka nutjobs, lunatics, crazy, insane individuals spin out of control. How hilarious.

No doubt people are just gunning for Sheen’s downfall or death because after all he is not a ‘real’ person. He is just some celebrity with too much money, too many women, and waaayyyyy too many Twitter followers (Guinness Book of World Records? Cripes)

So, I guess  I ask that as you watch Sheen’s life play out, you start first with compassion (I am reminding myself of this as I say it to you).  Remember he is a person with feelings buried deep inside that are going to have to come out someday and its gonna be ugly.

I hope the poor guy survives. I mean really, he is somewhat talented, he’s got kids, and whether he is on drugs, bi-polar, or both this is something that should bring sadness — not entertainment to this media obsessed planet.


PS my 11 year old daughter just walked in the room and I asked her what she thought about Sheen’s situation, here is what she said;

“I think that someone should be protecting him. If he’s doing drugs or he has mental problems, its not funny.  Why is the news reporting on it? It’s like they are trying not to laugh at him while they are cover the story.”



Posted in Life Perspective | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

Man, I love P!nk, new vid F**kin’ Perfect

The first I heard of P!nk’s new video was from some parenting group freaking out about it (god forbid we should show reality to the children!!!!)

Ok, so here is what they have their undies in a bundle about; the video shows a young woman struggling from childhood to adulthood, engaging in various illegal activities, and then on to cutting, an eating disorder, and suicide attempt.

As a parent of a 10 year old girl, and a 7 year old boy, I fit the demographic of a mom that should be in a state of shock over this.  As you all know, this stuff is everyday life here at mamaV, so I am totally digging this.  This is how kids feel for god’s sake!

Do parents think ignoring this is going to make it not happen to their daughter or son?

The truth is if you are a parent that ignores the cuts on the arms and the bones sticking out of the collarbones (aka PLEASE HELP ME warning signs) you just missed your shot at saving your child’s life.

Let me know what you guys think, below is P!nk in her own words talking about why she did this video (didn’t know she was pregnant herself, I gotta get with the program). Click to next page to view video and Pink’s commentary

Continue reading

Posted in Chicks That Rock | Tagged , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Isabelle Caro’s Mother Commits Suicide

Isabelle Caro_Anorexia_ mom suicideThe mother of Isabelle Caro, the anorexic French model who died last year, has committed suicideIsabelle Caro Book The little girl who did not want to get fat according to Daily Mail. Read the full story about Isabelle here.

‘[Marie] felt guilty for having put my daughter in the Bichat Hospital. My daughter did not want to go to that hospital,’ Isabelle’s step-father Christian told Swiss newspaper 20 Minutes.

In 2008 Isabelle released an autobiography called The Little Girl Who Didn’t Want to Get Fat in which she wrote that her mother appeared to resent her growing up.

What a horribly sad story. There really is not much else to say is there?



Posted in Model Misery | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I am not a label. Are you?

Thanks to Amanda and Elizabeth for this thought provoking image from their FB page. If you were to build a collage such as this for yourself, what would you put in it?

As I looked at this, I noticed the medical diagnosis in the background, which had my mind expanding into that arena, as well as all the social labels we put on ourselves. Here is what I would include in a collage about me;

America's Next Top Models Posing MamavisionPictures of models since I’ll never shake that label. This is one that I had to let go of a long time ago because if I tried to “live up” to societies expectations of what I am supposed to look like, I would die trying.

Continue reading

Posted in Life Perspective | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Pro Anorexia “Hoax” — Ex Big Brother star Kenneth Tong has way too much time on his hands.

Thanks to SS for keeping me abreast of this story over the past week. I contemplated writing about this dude, but didn’t because I figured it was a waste of breath, and less publicity would make him go away faster. But todays turn of events just made this story worth my time.

Kenneth Tong, wearing what appears to be a Rosary around his neck (either that or a pearl necklace which may be a fashion statement) spent the last week firing up the Twitter-sphere with a “hoax” pro-anorexia site or as he likes to call it ‘managed anorexia.”

Tong claims the site was simply a bet. A bet with a friend to try and become a “trending topic” on Twitter in less than a week (because he loves a challenge!) Tong figured the topic “pro-anorexia” would do the trick, so he started tweeting deranged commentary that unfortunately most of us are quite used to such as;

“”To be thinner, skip dinner. Anorexia is not evil, it is an often mismanaged blessing. Yadda, yadda, yadda”

Sorry gang, but in my world, what is the big deal? Proanorexia sites are EVERYWHERE. I have been screaming this from the rooftops for, let’s see, 5 years now and for some reason this dude awoke the masses to this topic. I guess I need to make it a joke for anyone to pay attention. In a sense, I guess I am glad this is happening because maybe some parents will start googling proana and thinspo to get a seriously painful reality check.

Ok, now I am fired up.

Continue reading

Posted in Media Madness, Pro Anorexia | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

‘No Anorexia’ model Isabelle Caro dies at age 28

Many of you will remember Isabelle Caro, the brave model who bared all to show the true horror of anorexia.

Isabelle, the model who was told to lose weight, lose weight, lose weight.

Isabelle, the model who walked into modeling agencies and was treated as if she looked totally normal although she weighed 86 frickin’ pounds.

Isabelle, the model who posed in the billboard above to try and send a message to women that anorexia is a disease, it is not beautiful, it is in fact a killer.

Isabelle, the model I can’t stop thinking about because she reminds me so much of myself, and reminds me how smart I was to leave the industry, and reminds me how lucky I was to beat my eating disorder, and how fortunate I was to have access to treatment, and how thankful I am to have the support of my parents and husband who saw me through.

What exactly is wrong with us, the fact that we need a young woman to plaster her shriveled self on a humongous billboard towering over a city to try to make the very simple point that the modeling industry is sick?

Then, we ban the damn thing so no one can see it, continually hiding from the truth of what our society has become.

Continue reading

Posted in Eating Disorders | Tagged | 11 Comments

Katy Perry, Firework: What does this vid do for you?

I caught this video on whim, and loved it! Katy Perry has been iffy to me in terms of appropriateness (cupcakes as boobs…..really?)

But the theme for Firework is so inspiring;

4 young adults with different issues/insecurities that are holding them back from being themselves;

An girl who feels overweight not swimming at a party.

A child with cancer, bald from chemo stuck in the hospital.

Kids in a household with fighting parents.

Gay young male wanting to come out.

Check it out and tell me what you think. Love, mv

Posted in Role Models, Self Esteem | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

Holiday Headaches

Posted in Holiday Guilt Trippin | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Holiday Guilt Trippin’

This is the top post today on AllTop. Talk about a guilt-trip?

Then we have the entire society totally focused on obesity, calorie counting, and restricting. How the hell are we supposed to be “normal” (it normal even exists anymore) with all of this shoved in our face 24/7?

In the eating disordered days, holidays were hell-a-days. I mean c’mon, entire days with the entire family talking, cheering, complaining, and focused on one thing, and only one thing F-O-O-D.

Total recipe for disaster.

I can remember those who knew of my condition eyeballing me during the festivities, watching every thing I put in my mouth. Then the busy body aunts who didn’t have a clue what I was going through raving about how “disciplined” I was for not having dessert while they shove in eighteen desserts fat chatting incessantly oblivious of the young ones watching and rubbing their tummy rolls under the table, thinking how maybe they should be more “disciplined.”

So, how did you all do yesterday? How are you feeling today?

Time to let it go! Tell us how you feel, felt, and are coping. There is something about hearing from others experiencing what you are that makes this season just a bit more tolerable.

Some off the cuff advice:

1) Limit your TV watching. Diet commercials are endless, followed by promos for Mickey D’s and Applebees. You can’t win.

2) Ditch the magazines. Ask your husband or partner to chuck them in the garbage when they arrive in the mailbox. The same damn articles are recycled year after year, you could probably recite the content from memory so what is the point of reading them again?

3) Scale watchers –make a commitment to yourself to limit the number of times you will step on the evil machine. We all know its in our nature to weigh in every five minutes, so if you a scale addict ask a loved one to hide it and give it to you maybe once a week if you can swing it. I mean seriously, there is no (none, zippo, zero) need  for any human being to weigh in more than that. You know this. You do.

4) Go to the gym, or stick with your regular exercise routine. On days you just don’t have the time or energy, so something different like throw the football around with your son or friends, take a walk with your daughter, mom, grandma, aunt or cousin— or just yourself for a great timeout!

5) Be kind to yourself. Serious, cut yourself some slack already. You are awesome just the way you are, and with a little luck, you will figure that out on your own. :)



P.S Here is one of my most cherished YouTube videos that I made a few years back. It’s my daughter, husband and I making an apple pie, something that I would have NEVER imagined myself doing, or allowing myself to do when I was deep in the ED hell zone….which proves there is life after an eating disorder.

Posted in Holiday Guilt Trippin | Tagged , , , | 14 Comments

Hollywood & Eating Disorders: Lovato, De Rossi, who is next?

Portia DeRossi and Ellen DeGeneres

Portia DeRossi and Ellen DeGeneres

So what do you guys think about the latest two Hollywood stars to come out of about their eating disorders? Does this help you, hurt you, or do you not give a rip?

Portia De Rossi was on Oprah earlier this week talking about anorexia and recovery to promote her new book ‘Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain.’. De Rossi shared how she exercised to work off the calories from a pack of gum by running around in a parking lot (been there, done that, except I did the stairs at my apartment) and revealing that at one time she weighed 82 pounds standing 5’8. Osteoporoses, cirrhosis, organ failure and the auto-immune disease lupus were the diseases that were a result of her eating disorder. She is now happily married to Ellen Degeneres and credits her recovery to the love and acceptance they share for one another.

This morning I read about Demi Lovato, one of my 10 year old daughters favorites. In case you don’t know her, she was the star of Camp Rock and later landed her own Disney sitcom “Sunny with a Chance.” Lovato just announced she will take a break from touring with the Jonas Brothers to enter treatment for her eating disorder which she says stems from being bullied. The video below shows Lovato talking about her experience, which shows that even being part of the popular crowd doesn’t make you immune from bullying.

How do you feel when you read about these stories?

Do they matter? Does it make you feel less alone?

Or are these people totally irrelevant?

If I had to guess, we are going to have a mixed response on this one. There tends to be those who say their ED has nothing do with Hollywood or anything else, its purely their own control, perfectionism, personal issue. Then there are those who are VERY influenced by the media, Hollywood and fashion (hello pro anas!) who have succumbed to the pressure to try to measure up to weight and beauty standards.

Continue reading

Posted in Hollywood Nightmares | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

HELP… now!!

Knowledge is power.

I support the National Eating Disorder Association, and if you are looking for help NOW they have an awesome ANONYMOUS helpline your can call to chat with someone who gets it.

What do you have to lose?

Just call ’em will ya?!




PS Life is MUCH better on the other side.

Posted in Recovery | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Reality TV: What’s eating you? on E!

Ok, the promos for this new E! show are so totally sensationalized its pathetic…but the show itself, I have mixed feelings about.

First, check out the promo.

The music, the images, the narrator voice — totally over the top. But then I went the E! site to see videos of the actual show and I thought it may have some value. What do you think?

Continue reading

Posted in Reality TV | Tagged , , , , , | 14 Comments

Time for the Shrink

I recently made a new friend I’ll call JH who said she was ready to see her doctor but she kept chickening out. She asked me for my advice on what to say to the doctor; here’s what I had to say.

First stop – psychologist, not a medical doctor.

Now don’t freak out over this thought and start worrying about what everyone will think about you visiting a shrink (who really gives a rip about this at this point since your life is in total shambles, plus screw ‘em, if they want to judge you so be it) The basis of your eating disorder is the way you think and the sooner you own up to this the better (and just an FYI in case you don’t know a Psychologist can not prescribe medicine, he/she would have you see a Psychiatrist for those needs).

Update 10/7/10 Reminder: mamaV is not a professional, nor do I claim to be.

I am not stating an ED sufferer should not go to a medical doctor.  It is my opinion that a psychologist is an appropriate first step, with the next step being a medical doctor.  The truth is that many of us end up in the ER or in a medical doctor’s office due to our physical condition, so in many cases the sufferer does not have a choice. However, when faced with a choice, I believe many medical doctors do more harm than good if they are not trained in eating disorders, leaving sufferers with questions about their illness & diagnosis. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard from individuals who are told to simply go home and start eating. Wow. Now that is great professional advice.

Would I go so far to say that eating disorders are 100% mental illness?

Continue reading

Posted in Recovery | Tagged , , , , , | 26 Comments

Do you pray?

I think this is the very first post I have ever written about religion. I am not sure why I have avoided the topic, but if I had to guess I would say the topic tends to be off-putting to some (and I certainly don’t want to seem like some holy roller).

So, on to the topic; do you pray?

I started wondering about this when I responded to a direct email I received from an eating disorder sufferer. I found myself almost typing the advice to add prayer to her life, but then I thought it was inappropriate since how do I know her background, culture, and other factors of her beliefs? For me to state she should pray seemed rude.

What do you think?

I have a regular prayer that I somehow made up in my head, I have no idea when, it goes like this;

“God, help show me the way and help me be the best person I can be.”

Continue reading

Posted in Random Thoughts | 8 Comments


If you happen to be in Milwaukee on October 24th. 2010, or close enough to drive on over, join me for the SELF ESTEEM STOMP!

This event is sponsored by NORMAL in Schools (NIS), a non-profit association that is very close to my heart. I met Robyn Hussa, the President of NIS, a few years back while in Madison, WI at a NEDA session. We clicked immediately. We became friends and business associates. And now we need to raise some serious cash for the organization ( so if you happen to have a spare million laying around please let us know).

Continue reading

Posted in Mission | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Better a bitch than a wimp.

I often wonder just how many people think I’m a bitch. A bitch because I know what I want, I know how I feel, and I don’t let people treat me like crap.

How about you?

My guess is you let people walk all over you. You spend your day worried about what everyone else thinks about you fretting around asking yourself “do they like me? Am I good enough? Am I thin enough? Am I pretty enough?”

To hell with it already. I mean seriously girls, is it working?

Continue reading

Posted in Life Perspective | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments

Let’s remove your freckles honey, you would be so much cuter!

Meet Sophie Watson.

Quite a lovely, 14 year old girl isn’t she?

(She would be lovelier without those freckles though, don’t ya think? But at least her tattooed eyeliner, eyebrows and lip liner makes her otherwise shallow features stand out).

“I am happy. I just look a lot better, Sophie says.

“I like it now that it is always there and I don’t need to bother with it every morning.”

Her mother, a demented beauty therapist (that’s a new one), said she gave permission for the make-up treatment, according to BBC News.

Continue reading

Posted in Fake Beauty, Your Mother | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

How about some wart remover with your mascara?!?!

As if I wasn’t paranoid enough, now I have to find out about all the cancer causing chemicals in makeup. Take a deep breath and read this pile of crap;

To date, the European Union (EU) has banned 1,100 chemicals in cosmetics; the Food and Drug Administration in America has banned only ten. Yeah, I said 10.

Hello America???!! WTF?

One of the best examples is that Cover Girl waterproof mascara contains the same ingredient (petroleum distillates, an oil by-product) as Dr. Scholl’s Wart Remover—both of which are illegal in Europe (oh, so that is why “every lash for volumized  at their boldest, rain or shine” like the commerical says!)

How lovely. But at least we LOOK good right girls?

Continue reading

Posted in Chemicals Are Fun | Tagged , | 8 Comments


I love to find hidden blogs, those focused on body image and eating disorders, they are like little gems just waiting to be discovered. I found Patricia,  the blogger of Beutiful, because she posted on a comment here about her blog. If you enjoy her poem below “Raisins, I highly recommend you go check it out, and sign up for her upcoming newsletter here.

AND, lets do something new,  please post your blog URL so I can find you, I’ll add you to my blogroll, and if you would return that favor that would be great!




Yea. I used to look in the mirror. Naked. Hoping. For perfection. Yea. I used to eat raisins all day. I used to want to be everything you wanted and never thought about anything that I wanted. I didn’t know. All I knew was that that mirror had better say “perfect.”

I saw the way you loved models. And celebrities. I saw the media. I saw the fitting room, how my body could not look “right.” To feel guilty for eating, to feel guilty about one pound, to feel anything at all, just to be “perfect.”

Continue reading

Posted in Random Thoughts | Tagged | 5 Comments