Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

Months back, I saw this billboard in the O’Hare airport. I was so struck by it, I stood in front of it for a few minutes just thinking about how inspiring it was. I jotted down the web address and went to the site to check it out.

As it turns out, the story behind this billboard is even cooler. A family, who prefers to remain anonomous funds this effort. They are placing billboards all over the country with the hopes to inspire.

‘The mission of The Foundation for a Better Life, is to encourage adherence to a set of quality values through personal accountability and by raising the level of expectations of performance of all individuals regardless of religion or race. Through these efforts, the Foundation wants to remind individuals they are accountable and empowered with the ability to take responsibility for their lives and to promote a set of values that sees them through their failures and capitalizes on their successes. An individual who takes responsibility for his or her actions will take care of his or her family, job, community, and country.”

The reason this specific billboard stood out to me is because here we have jolly old Shrek, not the most attractive ogre in the world, plump and but totally inspiring. If you have not seen the movie, you must. The message is awesome, and it really relates to everything we talk about here on mamaVISION.

It all starts with a thought, a single positive thought that you can and will push on through adversity. You can pick yourself up and keep going, and there is a plan for your life.

Believe, concieve, achieve. Make it your mantra,

Love,

mamaV

Half full or half empty. How do you see the world?

You may have figured out by now I am a half full kind of gal, to a fault at times. Sometimes my optimism gets me so jazzed I am told to scale it back a notch, but hey, I’ll take it. Better than the alternative, right?

I see the good in people.

I see the bright side of situations.

I let things roll off my back.

I usually can’t hold a grudge even if I try.

I believe this is because I express my feelings, bluntly, yet sincerely, and move on. This doesn’t always have me winning popularity contests, but I don’t know any other way to be.

I believe optimism is a learned behavior. Are you willing to learn it or would you prefer to stay stuck in the muck of negativity?

 If you are a half full, let’s hear your tips on how to cultivate optimism.

If you are a half empty, let’s hear your plan to work towards a more positive lifestyle.

Let’s not wallow in the wrongs that have been done, instead try to push through them, see how those wrongs will make you grow into a better person, a stronger person.

-mamaV

Quote of the day

“My dad set a great, bad example.”

- my father.

(Photo credit: cypearl http://flickr.com/photos/cypearl/475006675/)

Have we had enough doom and gloom for a while? I have, and a few of you mentioned I need to get back on my motivation kick.

I’d like to tell you about my parents.

First my dad; My dad is a total original. Some compare him to Regis Philbin, enthused,  quick witted, and full of life, its hard to keep up with him at times.

Last week he came to Chicago with me for a day business trip. We had lunch together, and he just had me rolling with his attitude and sense of humor.

Then there is my mom. Honest to god, she is one of these people that everyone loves. I remember getting jealous because everyone was always flocking all over her and I was like “back off, she’s my mom!” 

Here are the biggest life lesson’s I learned from my parents:

“Believe, conceive, achieve” – my dad drilled this into my head as a kid, so much that I thought, I mean I KNEW I was capable of anything. Nothing was out of the question. Still isn’t.

I would come up with a new, crazy idea every other week, like joining the Army, and my dad would say “Ok kid, check it out and get back to me.”

He instilled in me that the sky is the limit. To this day, this belief drives the passion in my life. Come to think of it, if it wasn’t for this ingrained trait, this blog would not exist.

On to my mom; she is the sentimental one. My mom is all about memories and family.

“Be in the moment,” she says, “you need to make your own fun in life.”

And she lives this philosophy. She never does anything half assed, when she gives of herself, she goes all out and she blows people away with her genuine generousity. What an amazing role model she has been.

When I first had my daughter, she told me this story and I try to live by this standard each and everyday. She told me about my Grandma, her mother who she loved dearly.  Grandma raised 6 kids in a 900 square foot home, worked two jobs, and has been called a Saint but those who knew her.

“My mom always stopped. She stopped, sat down, and listened. No matter what was going on she would take the time. She could be cooking, kids running around, ironing all lined up waiting to be done, but I would want to tell her something. Nothing major, maybe just something about my day, and she would stop, pull up a chair- no hesitation – and be there.”

Honest to god, this vision pops into my mind constantly. Life gets nuts when you have kids. Nuts in a great way, but in a very, very stressful way. My mom inspires me always, by setting a great example, helping me grow into the mom I want to be. What more could I ask for?

So let’s hear your stories! Lay it on me.

mamaV 

NOTE: IF YOUR PARENTS ARE NOT AN INSPIRATION…..TELL ME WHO IS, A FRIEND, A COLLEGUE, A RELATIVE?

We are officially banning a phrase from our posts “I am sorry”

Do you realize how often you apologize for your feelings? Why do you feel the need to apologize for yourself and your inner thoughts?

I believe by being conscience of not apologizing, you will start to understand you have a right to express bad, hateful, self-pity feelings. This is a healthy and a path to figuring out what your core issues are.

Most of you likely learned through your life experiences that you were either not to express conflicting feelings, and if you did you were punished for it. Is this accurate?

I am not sorry for the inner thoughts I express…kind of obvious based on this blog and youtube huh? This attitude is so freeing!

Not to get to spiritual on you, but I once read a quote from the Dalai Lama that has stuck with me. It went something like this, ”If you express yourself to others with love and compassion in your heart, than you don’t need to be concerned with your expressions.”

Starting NOW, no more:

 I’m sorry I am needy.

I’m sorry I am so stupid.

I am sorry I am taking your time.

You are worthy of attention. You are worthy of other’s listening ear. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.

Got it? Good.

Love you,

mamaV

My dad said to me recently “Why can’t there just be a ‘self esteem’ injection.”

He said this comment during a discussion we were having about how self esteem makes or breaks you. It literally does. Lack of it has broken the majority of you.

Where is your self esteem?

Did you ever have it?

If no, why not?

If yes, when did you lose it?

The concept of not believing in myself is totally foreign to me. The only time I ever remember not being self confident is when I was modeling. They shriveled me up like a prune. They shrunk me down to a tiny ant that could be killed with a quick flick of their finger.

(Above: me, photo shoot in Paris at 16. These images always remind me of how low I felt about myself during this time in my life. The eyes always tell the truth don’t they?)

As I read through posts, particularly on the new open forum, I am disheartened. I wish I could inject self esteem into each and every one of you.

In my dream, you would all slowly stand up, look to me with eyes wide, as the view of the true, beautiful, compassionate, wonderful world folds open before you.

Love you all,

mamaV

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/ED-wFsXmQv0]

Oprah lives by it.  Millions are reading it. Have you heard “The Secret?”

I’ll save you some cash and tell you the big secret…positive thinking.

Author Rhonda Byrnes did a great job repackaging this concept, marketing genius is all it is, and American’s lapped it up in our desparate quest for happiness.

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=vC_zzCvfGg8]

Here’s the concept:

If you think positive, you will be positive.

What you give, you’ll get back.

Smile, its contagious.

New? Hardly.

Hard to live by? Depends.

I do think this concept is especially important for eating disorder sufferers.

The mind is a powerful tool, fill it with self doubt, body hate, and your life will undoubtedly shrink down to a world of misery, and obsession with food.

Do I think eating disorders can be cured by positive thinking? Not a chance. But I do believe that it can help. Positive thoughts can lead towards a path of change, it can send you in new directions, and it may even land you in therapy where you belong.

-mamaV

It’s not too late to join the 30 Day Pro-Ana Challenge! Join us today!

In a prior post, I stated I live by the philosophy, “This is who I am, take it or leave it.”

The response to this statement was positive, but I heard in your voices that you admire this, and wish you could be this way. You can.

I don’t know how I grew to be so strong about this, my parents no doubt instilled it in me, and my grandma’s were some toughy’s, so maybe its genetic. I’d like to believe its not. I would prefer to say you can learn to think like this, its all about believing in yourself.

Here’s a few more for you to ponder:

mamaV quote #2: “The time you spend trying to please others, is time wasted being untrue to yourself.”

I submitted this one for a Starbucks “The Way I see it” coffee cup quote, and my husband thought it sounded too selfish. We debated it and I brought him around my way. The point is, the more you try to please others, the more miserable you will be. Trust me, its like a law of physics (women tend to be the worst at this). We all sit around fretting about what everyone is thinking about us…. do they like us? did they think I was ugly, fat, weird, stupid?

We need to get over it. You’ve got one life on the planet, and you need to live it for yourself and your own well being.

mamaV quote #3 : “I don’t care what others think of me”

I said this to a former boss and he sat me down to discuss it because he didn’t think I could be successful with this mindset. At face value, this seems snippy and self righteous, but at its base it is a road to peace. Seriously, what if you didn’t care what others thought about you? Think of how free you would be.

So why I live by this rule?  In business and in life, if I sat around worried about all the people that think I am a bitch, I’d d go home, curl up in the closet and cry. Life is not about trying to be everyone’s friend. Someone is always going to dislike you, so accept it and hang with the people that like you….they’ll give you strength.

mamaV thought for the day: “The base of eating disorders seems to be centered around what others think about us.”

I worry only about the following individuals and their feelings about me 1) my husband 2) my children 3) my parents 4) close family members 5) close friends. To these people, my heart is with them always. I would give my life for them. If ever hurt them with words or actions, it is always my first priority, above anything to talk about it and make it right.

So let’s let rest of ‘em have fun gossiping away, because they are invisible and miserable. Try it girls, it will feel like a huge boulder has been lifted off your shoulders.

Love,

mamaV

“whatever the mind can conceive, and believe, it will achieve.”

I watched a segment on Arrianna Huffington CBS Sunday Morning. Her latest book On Becoming Fearless caught my attention on the title alone.

To blog is to be fearless. Fearless of what others will think, say and criticize you about. Arrianna stresses the need to grow, change your mind, express your views….and feel good about it.

“Fearlessness is not the absence of fear, its the mastery of fear,” Huffington states. It’s doing what you want to do, even though you are scared doing it.

I am often perceived as a fearless (bitchy) person. In fact, a male family member recently called me “evil.” I’m a direct, tell it like it is kind of person. Do I sometimes look back and struggle with what I have said, or expressed in public? Certainly. But I also look back with pride. Pride that I am not afraid to be who I am, take it or leave it.

This sounds harsh to some, in fact in business I’ve been criticized for it after making a statement “I don’t care what others think of me” to my boss. He sat me down and told me I needed to care what others thought of me, or in otherwords “play the game.” After continplating his advice, I circled back to my ingrained belief, which makes me who I am today.

If you spend your time trying to please everyone, they’ll eat you alive.

I think I’ll stick with my “fearless” style. I simply don’t know any other way to live. And as a mother of two, its my responsibility to do so.

As my dad always told me, “Hold your head up high, and walk in like you own the place.”I like it.