Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

Gaga launched her foundation at Harvard today, you need to watch this video, its so inspiring — this means CHANGE!

“I’m to pretty to do homework, so my brother does it for me.”

This is the tagline sprawled on a “back to school” t-shirt for girls sold at JCPenney. No, I’m serious, this is a real shirt sold in the United States of America in 2011.

I mean seriously people, WTF is wrong with this country?

Who in the hell comes up with this crap? Was it a man or woman? A mother perhaps? And then, who were the JcPenney BUYERS that went for it. What about the stock people that put it out on the shelves. They only all caved due to pressure from the almighty Twitterverse (us, a band of users who cry holy hell until they give)

And finally, I would LOVE to see the parent and/or grandparent who actually purchased this offensive rag. There’s got to be a handful of girls who strutted into school this week, hair all curled up, makeup slathered on, booty shakin’ just the way mama taught her.

How cute and sassy.

Oh, and here is another one that has not been pulled. I guess it’s not offensive enough. 

This really, really bugs me guys. It’s probably because my daughter is 11 years old, and she is so awesome. The kid just amazes me, and it scares me to think about girls who have demented mothers or fathers who would purchase this shirt and allow their dear child to wear it. How would my girl feel about herself if she didn’t have a mom that is always making her aware of how screwed up fashion and media is? Would she be a different person than she is today?

I remember thinking that maybe because I am so passionate about these topics that I would screw her up by talking about it too much, or saying the wrong thing, or exposing her to stuff she is too young to understand. No worries on that, not a one. The key is talking, being open, making all of this a regular part of life conversation — and, without a doubt, being a shining example. An example of how to dress, act, be, believe, think, breathe and see the world.

Many of you ask me “don’t you sometimes just want to give up on all this?” — I always say “No, never, it’s not hopeless, change is coming slowly,” but today, right now, I feel like we are taking gigantic steps backwards into the sewer and the vast majority of girls have zero chance of turning out healthy and happy because the reality is that society doesn’t respect them. Society sure as hell doesn’t respect women as a whole.

Man we’ve go a long way to go girls,

mV

Please sign the petition to remove this lovely shirt from Zazzle telling girls “It’s better to look good than to feel good.”  Yet another example of societies insanity.

Actually, not really.

Here is a video I recorded for a national effort to spread awareness for eating disorders, you NEED to get involved — if you are comfortable with exposing your self on video of course. Below is more detail on how to submit your video.

In this vid, I am responding to the question; “What do you wish people knew about eating disorders?” (I held it done to 4 min, but could have gone on for an hour, I am sure you relate).

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If you happen to be in Milwaukee on October 24th. 2010, or close enough to drive on over, join me for the SELF ESTEEM STOMP!

This event is sponsored by NORMAL in Schools (NIS), a non-profit association that is very close to my heart. I met Robyn Hussa, the President of NIS, a few years back while in Madison, WI at a NEDA session. We clicked immediately. We became friends and business associates. And now we need to raise some serious cash for the organization ( so if you happen to have a spare million laying around please let us know).

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mamaV needs a breather! I am on hiatus for a few weeks…..in the meantime visit We Are The Real Deal, my collective blog from body image activists.

Cankles.

A new          A new term I discovered, which means basically – fat ankles. Mine have always been on the heavier side, not really in proportion to my legs and calves.

I'm here to say cankles are hereditary. My weight is on the low side of normal, and yet the cankles persist. Here's the actual urban definition according to WillRunForCake:

                     Subject: Cankles: Urban Word of the Day

“The area in affected female legs where the calf meets the foot in
an abrupt, nontapering terminus; medical cause: adipose tissue
surrounding the soleus tendon, probably congenital, worsened by weight
gain and improved in appearance only by boots. From the English “calf”
meaning wide portion of the lower leg, and “ankle” meaning slender
joint of leg with foot."

Anklets are a love of mine, but I have to search for a style that won't cut off my circulation.

My cankles look great in high heels, but in flip flops–not so much.

When I was pregnant, my OB said I looked like I was carrying 5 pounds of water in each one. Which actually cracked me up because she was right. She is the bluntest person I ever met, which is why I love her (it was her way of saying – cut down on the salt will ya lady!)

But you know, I've learned to live with them, and love them actually.

After all they are a part of me, and without them I would feel like something is missing from "me"

So if you've got 'em – flaunt 'em baby!

-mV

On my way to Chicago, presenting a session
Blogs and Body Image: What are we teaching our kids?
All that YOU have taught me over the past 3 years has prepared me for this- and I could not be more grateful.
Question for you- what is the #1 thing parents should never do or say to their children in regards to eating/weight?
Love, MV X0X0
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

I am spending the week in a glorious cabin with my husband, kids and parents; boating, fishing, eating, drinking, laughing, and unplugging.

We saw Green Day earlier this week in Chicago, and I nearly peed my pants. Tenth row, thanks to my wonderful husband, an event to celebrate our 40th birthdays (we were born 11 days apart). You would not have recognized me with black eyes, lips, and nails – fake lip ring….kind of scary but I liked how I looked (hey, everyone needs an alter ego right?). Crappy image I took with my crackberry at right (better than nothin')

Today, I headed to Girl Scout Camp leading fifteen third graders on a great summer adventure. I look forward to this opportunity all year long, a tradition we have shared since they were in Kindergarten, and I can guarantee I will be balling the closing flag goes down the last day.

Tomorrow the girls will bury me in the sand by the pond, while the other moms stand by afraid to put their suits on (but that is another story), and then on to the final celebration where the girls throw pies in my face.

Love it, love it, love it.

At left, is a poster I found hanging in one of the cabins today…we have got to start working on 'em early.

Next week, I am gearing up for BlogHer, thee blog event of the year held in Chicago. I have never attended so it should be interesting. I assembled a panel of bloggers that I feel represent the body image perspective from all angles, and I am proud to say we won the vote to host a "Room of Our Own" session, sponsored by the Dove Self Esteem Fund titled;

Blogs & Body Image: What are we teaching our kids?

Be sure to swing by if you are attending BlogHer!

Check out these talkers while I am away…lots to learn from them;

MizFitOnline
Carla has become a buddy of mine, she has one heck of a following, and as you can see she is in phenomenal shape. At left is Carla's pipe featuring her trademark tagline – "Unapologetically Myself"  -which we will all be tattooing on our bodies for the session.

KateHarding
Queen of the fat acceptance blogosphere, Kate spouts her intelligent, controversial, f-bomb ridden "Shapely Prose" on her well respected blog. Her views on fat discrimination, truths about fat and health, and the B.S about BMI are must reads.

Claire Mysko
Author, expert on "girl psychology, and creator of the "Healthy Beauty Pledge, designed to be a formal commitment for those looking to breed positive body image for themselves and others. Read more about her new book coming out in October 2009, dedicated to Moms And Moms To Be.

Ronisweigh

The before and after pics of Roni are simply amazing. A mom, and an inspiration to those who desire to adapt a healthy lifestyle.

Stay tuned for the launch of a collective blog on positive body image featuring the bloggers above. More on this next week.

Unplugged for now, hope all is well gang!

mV

PAGE IN DEVELOPMENT

In the meantime, read my updated mission before writing me to tell me I am full of it.

Email address is mamaVISION@gmail.com

mamaVISION has been writing since 2006, here are the most read/most discussed posts of all time;

Topic: Pro Anorexia

Internet Suicide

Ana & Mia

Calorie Restriction or Pro Anorexia?

Pro Ana Nation

Pro Ana Privacy

Topic: Disordered Eating

Disordered Eating, Eating Disorder – what’s the diff?

Role Model

Perfection Projection

Topic: Kids on Diets

In The Zone

It’s Slim Fast for lunch kids!

Topic: Feminism

Don’t Say Feminism

Topic: Modeling Crap

So you want to be a model?

Child Model

About mamaV

Topic: Celebrity Influence

If Tyra’s a pork chop, what am I?

What’s up with Oprah?

Topic: THIN Documentary

THIN Women

Shelly speaks

Reality sets in today for us at mamaVISION.

Although we talk, support, argue, laugh and tease here on the blog….the truth we must always remember is we are discussing a deadly topic. Eating disorders take the lives of women every single day, but statistics don’t really hit home do they?

“10 Million Females in the United States Are Battling Eating Disorders.”

If you are like me, you think, “Ok, 10 million…big number.” and life goes on. We can’t even process this figure.

But today is different. We have lost 3, that’s three, of our own.

Three young, vibrant lives snuffed out by an disease that tortures the mind and soul, until the body simply surrenders.

Emily

Ellie

Sheri

Emily started posting here well over a year ago. Her mom Brooke was concerned about her, so she searched her computer to see what she was doing online and found mamaVISION.com. She bravely and responsibility reacted by reaching out to me and asking me what she should do. She was a mother desperate to help. A mother willing to do anything in her power to heal her beloved daughter.

But as we all know, as friends and family we can listen, we can love, we can stand by their side and help with therapy and treatment. But the sufferer then needs to do the work. The work is often too much to bare and when those feelings of fear, shame, and negativity creep in..they retreat to the habits they know will eventually take their life. Starving. Restricting. Binging. Purging.

Emily was 17 years old. She suffered a heart attack. The attack was not her first, the unfortunate veteran of an eating disorder. She survived in a coma, but eventually passed in peace.

Ellie and Sheri are two others being remembered on the open forum. I need you to post about these women, because I didn’t have the pleasure to know them. Please tell us their stories, and send me their pictures to post to the memorial if appropriate.

Stop today, and think about these three women. Take a few breaths, and think.

And please don’t naively believe for one moment this won’t be you if you don’t reach out for help. I would bet Emily, Ellie and Sheri never imagined they would be written about today.

Love always,

mamaV

At 28 years of age, Maggie took her own life. She struggled for 10 years with her eating disorder, before she decided to commit suicide Sunday night, March 4th. A friend of Leah, another ED sufferer who passed away unexpectedly in January and other readers of this blog, our hearts go out to her boyfriend and family during this time.

The tragic death of the Ramos sisters is the topic of Chasing Beauty this week. Iliana, the 18 year old sister of Luisel Ramos, 21 followed in the anorexic footsteps of her sister. Models, anorexics, heart attacks take their life just six months apart.

Here more about it on Chasing Beauty Podcast, click here to play.

Download from ITunes here.

No hoax.

Pro-Anorexia forum leader Kristi documented the moments leading up to her suicide.

I have verified that Kristi has indeed taken her life, through reliable sources in the pro-ana community. The community pulled down the online debate that ensued after Kristi’s death, since they did not want the words of their members open for the world to see. They too where very concerned, and emotional about what had occured.

(Kristi’s body shot) (Kristi as a child) (Kristi and her beloved cat)

Pro-Anorexia communities have their right to exist online, as all other groups do. They continually make claims they are a “support site”, and in may ways they are. My problem is, in most ways they are not.

What I see is support for:

• How to engage in deadly behaviors to lose weight
• How to hide it from your parents.
  
• How to stay motivated in your quest to starve by shaming yourself continually.
• How to keep “trolls” off their sites…yeah,I am one of them.

A few disturbing examples to backup my statements:

Purge_Chick leads the pack on how to best throwup your food, the creativity here is quite sickening, she calls this her Purgatorium:

The community shows their style and personal flair through their avatars:

No, fashion and models have no influence in our society, c’mon!

Hello CFDA, anyone home?

Do these break your heart or is it just me?

One more example for the parents reading this story. The pro-ana sites support your daughters in many ways, they just don’t teach them how to starve and purge, they will tell them exactly how to hide it from you….and trust me they are.

My job is to show you how to do your own detective work.

Here’s how to view your children’s history on their computer.

Click on Tools on your internet browser , it should be on the top left.

A menu will pull down and you will see Internet Options or Options.
Click on Internet Options or Options.

This is the screen that stores the history of all sites viewed. Click on the tabs for History, Cookies, and Downloads. Each tab will show you information on what was viewed. If you see anything related to pro-ana, ana and mia, or thinspiration – your child is visiting Pro-Anorexia web sites. If you can’t find this info or need asssistance interpreting it, please email me or post a comment and I will help you in your detective work.

Pro-Ana’s if this post ticks you off, good. My work is done for the day.

-mamaVISION

Anorexia has killed yet another, but this time the death of a young girl is documented, minute by minute, for the world to see.

Kristi, the ring leader of the Live Journal Pro-Anorexia site documents her last moments of life on the post below, proving yet again the adapting pro-ana lifestyle is messing with fire.

No fear pro-anas, your journals will not miss a beat. Your new leader immediately took over for Kristi, reiterated the PRO-ANA MISSION, and dedicated to convincing us all you are an eating disorder “support” site.

Hold your comments Pro-Anas: I have no intention of interfering with your beloved sites, since I am a believer in free speech and removing the pro-ana sites from the web serves no purpose. I refuse to put my head in the sand.

My purpose is to educate. Educate parents, friends, and family on the rampant nature of the Pro-Anorexia community online.

My message is getting through, I receive comments from girls from all over the world that admit they visit your sick community, and have realized you are leading them down a path towards destruction.

PARENTS, HERE IS WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

These are the bracelets they where, proud of their starvation lifestyle. The bracelets readily available online:

This is their status symbol. A feeding tube, afterall, proves you are a hard core anorexic:

This is what they stress about, a day over 200 calories is a total crisis:

These are their proud snapshots, showing off their accomplishments for all to see:

Why do I care? This was me, a model at 16, 5’9, 125 pounds and miserable as hell. My self confidence stripped from me by my Modeling agent and the Fashion Industry.

No one is going to tell me that the Media does not play a role in anorexia- not in every case, but in many.

The worst part of this story? The pro-anorexic girls I “featured” here would be proud to have their skeletons highlighted for the world to see. Their starvation success achieved, the attention they crave fulfilled.

If you want to join my cause, please leave your comments on the Official Public Petition to the Council of American Fashion Designers.

Together we can end this absolute madness.

-mamaVISION

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=IiTkekeTuBE&v2]

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A teenage model has been found dead only six months after her model sister, Luisel died at a fashion show of complications arising from anorexia, as reported by Times Online.

Eliana Ramos, 18, was found dead in her bedroom in Montevideo, Uraguay, by her grandmother, with whom she was staying. She is believed to have had a heart attack.

She is the sister of Luisel Ramos, dead from a heart attack. She also starved herself to fit the fashion industry standards.

HOW MANY GIRLS ARE WE GOING TO KILL BEFORE WE WAKE UP.

I am absolutely livid, so please excuse my emotion and passion. I read this story 10 minutes ago and my heart is pounding out of my chest.

1 Modeling agents and bookers are at the center of this problem. They see the girls daily, they pressure the girls daily, they measure the girls daily, so stop acting like you are not aware of this and this is not a major influence in this problem. I know you have one modeling agent on your panel, how is he playing a part?

2 What size are your clothes that you are producing for your fashion shows? It’s this simple: To be a model, I must fit into your clothes. If my body is to large to fit, I will lose weight to make the cut. End of story.

3 Why do the fashion magazines showcase children as the women? Just stop already.

The findings of a post-mortem examination have yet to be released but local reports suggested that Ms Ramos, who was taking part in the Montevideo fashion week, suffered from “alimentary deficiency”.

Her parents, who were on holiday at the time of her death, were said to be devastated by the loss of a second daughter in six months.

Their father said afterwards that his daughter had been on a diet of lettuce and diet-cola in an attempt to lose weight. Her body mass index (BMI) was found to be below the level considered starvation by the World Health Organization.

Despite her sister’s fate Ms Ramos, nicknamed Elle by family and friends, had decided to continue her modeling career. She had signed with one of Argentina’s top agencies and the blonde, blue-eyed teenager was considered to have a promising career in Europe and the US.

She had been signed up recently by Dotto Models, the agency that represented her sister. Pancho Dotto, the owner of the agency, today dismissed claims that an eating disorder was responsible for Elian’s death.

“She was very healthy, she ate well and played sports,” said Mr Dotto. “She was never extremely thin. It is absurd to talk of alimentary deficiency, anorexia, bulimia and all that. It is clear that the deaths of the Ramos sisters are due to a genetic problem and not an eating disorder.”

At the time of her death she weighed only 6st (40kg).

Please take a moment today to say a prayer for the Ramos family. Their grief must be simply unbearable, and my heart is broken, once again for them.

-mamaVISION

Leah was one of my girls. There are several of you that email me and post to my blog, sharing your intimate feelings about your eating disorders. You all are the reason I am totally driven to do this.

Since Leah’s death early Tuesday morning, I have thought quite a bit about her and how she has now brought my mission to a whole different level.

I am reading all the posts from her friends, either sent to me directly, or to Jen, or to Polly, and I realize how the lost of this wonderful young life has sent a waves across many lives. All of us connected by one common, ugly cause.

Will Leah’s death make at least one girl stop and think about what she is doing to herself when she throws up her binged dinner or sets her daily calorie intake to 200? I sure as hell hope so.

As Leah would say, I guess for now we need to “just be.”

Thanks Leah for touching my life. You are a light and I believe you are watching. I won’t let you down kiddo.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HTes_SwASw]

Leah was a regular reader of my blog. She posted an inpirational message just days ago, a message full of hope and determination that she was on the upside of her eating disorder.

Leah died January 8, 2007 at 1:15am.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPa0qJtZ_C4]

She went out for a run with her partner Emily, collapsed, was brought to emergency, but apparently her heart was too damaged due to her eating disorder, and it could no longer sustain her life.

Poof. Gone. Another young beauty taken from us because she could not escape the beauty myth pressures of this world.

She is not a model, she never made it to Hollywood, so you won’t see Leah’s life profiled in the star obsessed media. Instead, she will fade away quietly, leaving her light with all knew her.

Leah: You were, and will continue to be an inspiration in my life. You are the reason for this blog, and your memory will live on in those if us who knew you.

Leah’s friend Jen wrote a poetic post about how Leah would “just be.” Take the time to read it today, and think about how precious your life is.

Your life is now.

-mamaVISION