Eating Disorder ProAna Blogger Focused on Body Image and Self Esteem

Ok, who saw the amazing debut of Steven Tyler’s new video on American Idol last night?

There we were, my husband and I, watching our fave show with our 11 and 8 year old children, when on comes this crazy whirlwind of clips of Tyler, first with chimps, then singing to a teenage girl who ends up slowly stripping throughout the video, intermingled with scenes of Grandpa Steve slapping around with  Nicole Scherzinger.

What exactly is a parent supposed to say to their kids in this situation?

Isn’t there something wrong with promoting a 60 year old dude lusting after a teenager? (ok she is probably in her twenties, but c’mon!!)

It’s demented. It’s not normal, or reality, or cool. It’s just lame (and Anon just save your “you are just jealous” b.s. for another day because this is pathetic). And if you don’t think its pathetic, you are not a parent in your right mind.

Do you know what my kids said?

“Mama, this is really inappropriate.”

God bless America, how low can we go?

Remaining rants and questions;

1. What’s up with the beginning shot of the makeup artist chick sticking her finger up his nose?
2. What animal is Tyler’s little friend in the beginning — a seal?
3. Love how he dresses on Idol actually, but the white women’s pantsuit with floppy hat is not cutting it.
4. I mean seriously, did they cut this entire video together in a day or less?
5. I think I am really pissed because I had really grown to like Steven as a judge on Idol, and I started digging his Aerosmith songs — but now I am left feeling embarrassed for the poor guy.
6. I could not find ONE blog ripping the hell out of this video like I am, so I figure I am totally out numbered here but whateva, this is my space to let it rip.

-mamaV

XO

Andre’a sent me this video and asked me to post it. After watching it, it is my pleasure to post it. I post this with a message of hope and prayer to all of you reading my blog.

I wish for you happiness, self confidence, and freedom from self hatred.

I wish for you glimpses of hope in your daily life that give you the energy to believe a better life awaits you.

I wish for you adults that have their heads screwed on straight, capable of guiding you down a path of self confidence and respect for your body.

I wish for you friends that surround you, encourage you, and never judge you.

Even if my wishes do not come true, you will make it. You are going to make it. This ED hell is going to pass, and you are going to live the life you were meant to. As horrific as all of this is, I truly believe it is happening for a reason. That reason alludes you now, but someday it will be clear.

As clear as it became to me when I started writing this blog 20 years after my struggles had past. The day I wrote my first post was the day I understood why I suffered so much to get to this place.

Love,

mamaV

XOXO

I received an email from the producer of Oprah’s long awaited new show “Addicted To Food.” Below is the episode in full, please watch it and post your feedback. I’ll admit, I have mixed feelings — I liked it more than I thought I would. More thoughts below the video.

PROS:

1. I liked the way the show was shot, it seemed genuine, real — and as “non-exploitive” as possible.  I am thinking some of you will feel the bulimic and/or eating scenes were not necessary, but I would disagree because the realness of it added to true sickness of the disease(s).
2. The show successfully captured the deep, dark, sadness individuals with an eating disorder suffer with — alone, day after day and often year after year.
3. The philosophy that all eating disorders are at the core the same issue, I agree with and the atmosphere of placing individuals with all different disorders is different than I am accustomed to (ie anorexic and bulimics treated together, separate from compulsive overeaters for example).

CONS:

1. Individuals featured in the show may experience regret from “going  public” with their healing process.
2. Can one really be themselves with a camera in their face? If it was me — not a chance. I think it would hinder me a great deal.

Still pondering this….

I am failing at my attempt to steer clear of the Charlie Sheen saga, but it’s too sad, scary, and odd to look away. I followed, then un-followed him on Twitter, only to find myself waking up each day to watch the Today show for the latest on Sheen’s Korner.

At first I figured Mr. Tiger Blood was just a cocky drug addict on an ego driven binge (which is nothing to laugh at) but the videos in the past two days turned a corner into something different.

Something that I recognized.

The experts are now saying he may be Bi-Polar, in the midst of a maniac episode. Seems entirely reasonable to me. The part that bothers me so much is that Sheen’s public video testimony being played out in public shows how very shallow we all are. Why do we like to watch others people’s pain? They say its because it makes us feel better about ourselves. I think that is a crock. I’d say its just pure entertainment, an escape from our bla-zay lives.

Back to the public, we are a very judgmental bunch that gets their laughs out of seeing mentally ill people aka nutjobs, lunatics, crazy, insane individuals spin out of control. How hilarious.

No doubt people are just gunning for Sheen’s downfall or death because after all he is not a ‘real’ person. He is just some celebrity with too much money, too many women, and waaayyyyy too many Twitter followers (Guinness Book of World Records? Cripes)

So, I guess  I ask that as you watch Sheen’s life play out, you start first with compassion (I am reminding myself of this as I say it to you).  Remember he is a person with feelings buried deep inside that are going to have to come out someday and its gonna be ugly.

I hope the poor guy survives. I mean really, he is somewhat talented, he’s got kids, and whether he is on drugs, bi-polar, or both this is something that should bring sadness — not entertainment to this media obsessed planet.

mV

PS my 11 year old daughter just walked in the room and I asked her what she thought about Sheen’s situation, here is what she said;

“I think that someone should be protecting him. If he’s doing drugs or he has mental problems, its not funny.  Why is the news reporting on it? It’s like they are trying not to laugh at him while they are cover the story.”

The first I heard of P!nk’s new video was from some parenting group freaking out about it (god forbid we should show reality to the children!!!!)

Ok, so here is what they have their undies in a bundle about; the video shows a young woman struggling from childhood to adulthood, engaging in various illegal activities, and then on to cutting, an eating disorder, and suicide attempt.

As a parent of a 10 year old girl, and a 7 year old boy, I fit the demographic of a mom that should be in a state of shock over this.  As you all know, this stuff is everyday life here at mamaV, so I am totally digging this.  This is how kids feel for god’s sake!

Do parents think ignoring this is going to make it not happen to their daughter or son?

The truth is if you are a parent that ignores the cuts on the arms and the bones sticking out of the collarbones (aka PLEASE HELP ME warning signs) you just missed your shot at saving your child’s life.

Let me know what you guys think, below is P!nk in her own words talking about why she did this video (didn’t know she was pregnant herself, I gotta get with the program). Click to next page to view video and Pink’s commentary

(more…)

The mother of Isabelle Caro, the anorexic French model who died last year, has committed suicide according to Daily Mail. Read the full story about Isabelle here.

‘[Marie] felt guilty for having put my daughter in the Bichat Hospital. My daughter did not want to go to that hospital,’ Isabelle’s step-father Christian told Swiss newspaper 20 Minutes.

In 2008 Isabelle released an autobiography called The Little Girl Who Didn’t Want to Get Fat in which she wrote that her mother appeared to resent her growing up.

What a horribly sad story. There really is not much else to say is there?

mV

XOXO

Thanks to Amanda and Elizabeth for this thought provoking image from their FB page. If you were to build a collage such as this for yourself, what would you put in it?

As I looked at this, I noticed the medical diagnosis in the background, which had my mind expanding into that arena, as well as all the social labels we put on ourselves. Here is what I would include in a collage about me;

Pictures of models since I’ll never shake that label. This is one that I had to let go of a long time ago because if I tried to “live up” to societies expectations of what I am supposed to look like, I would die trying.

(more…)

Thanks to SS for keeping me abreast of this story over the past week. I contemplated writing about this dude, but didn’t because I figured it was a waste of breath, and less publicity would make him go away faster. But todays turn of events just made this story worth my time.

Kenneth Tong, wearing what appears to be a Rosary around his neck (either that or a pearl necklace which may be a fashion statement) spent the last week firing up the Twitter-sphere with a “hoax” pro-anorexia site or as he likes to call it ‘managed anorexia.”

Tong claims the site was simply a bet. A bet with a friend to try and become a “trending topic” on Twitter in less than a week (because he loves a challenge!) Tong figured the topic “pro-anorexia” would do the trick, so he started tweeting deranged commentary that unfortunately most of us are quite used to such as;

“”To be thinner, skip dinner. Anorexia is not evil, it is an often mismanaged blessing. Yadda, yadda, yadda”

Sorry gang, but in my world, what is the big deal? Proanorexia sites are EVERYWHERE. I have been screaming this from the rooftops for, let’s see, 5 years now and for some reason this dude awoke the masses to this topic. I guess I need to make it a joke for anyone to pay attention. In a sense, I guess I am glad this is happening because maybe some parents will start googling proana and thinspo to get a seriously painful reality check.

Ok, now I am fired up.

(more…)

Thanks to Heidi Dalzell of Philadelphia Examiner for this informative list! We are making progress!

To often the news contains stories that glorify eating disorders or involve the latest celeb struggling with anorexia or bulimia. But 2010 contained many positive stories about eating disorders —successes, advocacy and advancements in the field — both in the Philadelphia area and beyond. Here is a recap of those stories, in chronological order:

1. Local group advocates for eating disorders. A Chance to Heal based in Montgomery County, Pa. continues its efforts in advocacy and prevention. Key among these are helping Senator Daylin Leach promote Pa. Bill 1138, which, if passed, would extend insurance coverage for the treatment of eating disorders in Pennsylvania.

(more…)

Many of you will remember Isabelle Caro, the brave model who bared all to show the true horror of anorexia.

Isabelle, the model who was told to lose weight, lose weight, lose weight.

Isabelle, the model who walked into modeling agencies and was treated as if she looked totally normal although she weighed 86 frickin’ pounds.

Isabelle, the model who posed in the billboard above to try and send a message to women that anorexia is a disease, it is not beautiful, it is in fact a killer.

Isabelle, the model I can’t stop thinking about because she reminds me so much of myself, and reminds me how smart I was to leave the industry, and reminds me how lucky I was to beat my eating disorder, and how fortunate I was to have access to treatment, and how thankful I am to have the support of my parents and husband who saw me through.

What exactly is wrong with us, the fact that we need a young woman to plaster her shriveled self on a humongous billboard towering over a city to try to make the very simple point that the modeling industry is sick?

Then, we ban the damn thing so no one can see it, continually hiding from the truth of what our society has become.

(more…)

I caught this video on whim, and loved it! Katy Perry has been iffy to me in terms of appropriateness (cupcakes as boobs…..really?)

But the theme for Firework is so inspiring;

4 young adults with different issues/insecurities that are holding them back from being themselves;

An girl who feels overweight not swimming at a party.

A child with cancer, bald from chemo stuck in the hospital.

Kids in a household with fighting parents.

Gay young male wanting to come out.

Check it out and tell me what you think. Love, mv

This is the top post today on AllTop. Talk about a guilt-trip?

Then we have the entire society totally focused on obesity, calorie counting, and restricting. How the hell are we supposed to be “normal” (it normal even exists anymore) with all of this shoved in our face 24/7?

In the eating disordered days, holidays were hell-a-days. I mean c’mon, entire days with the entire family talking, cheering, complaining, and focused on one thing, and only one thing F-O-O-D.

Total recipe for disaster.

I can remember those who knew of my condition eyeballing me during the festivities, watching every thing I put in my mouth. Then the busy body aunts who didn’t have a clue what I was going through raving about how “disciplined” I was for not having dessert while they shove in eighteen desserts fat chatting incessantly oblivious of the young ones watching and rubbing their tummy rolls under the table, thinking how maybe they should be more “disciplined.”

So, how did you all do yesterday? How are you feeling today?

Time to let it go! Tell us how you feel, felt, and are coping. There is something about hearing from others experiencing what you are that makes this season just a bit more tolerable.

Some off the cuff advice:

1) Limit your TV watching. Diet commercials are endless, followed by promos for Mickey D’s and Applebees. You can’t win.

2) Ditch the magazines. Ask your husband or partner to chuck them in the garbage when they arrive in the mailbox. The same damn articles are recycled year after year, you could probably recite the content from memory so what is the point of reading them again?

3) Scale watchers –make a commitment to yourself to limit the number of times you will step on the evil machine. We all know its in our nature to weigh in every five minutes, so if you a scale addict ask a loved one to hide it and give it to you maybe once a week if you can swing it. I mean seriously, there is no (none, zippo, zero) need  for any human being to weigh in more than that. You know this. You do.

4) Go to the gym, or stick with your regular exercise routine. On days you just don’t have the time or energy, so something different like throw the football around with your son or friends, take a walk with your daughter, mom, grandma, aunt or cousin— or just yourself for a great timeout!

5) Be kind to yourself. Serious, cut yourself some slack already. You are awesome just the way you are, and with a little luck, you will figure that out on your own.

Love,

mV

P.S Here is one of my most cherished YouTube videos that I made a few years back. It’s my daughter, husband and I making an apple pie, something that I would have NEVER imagined myself doing, or allowing myself to do when I was deep in the ED hell zone….which proves there is life after an eating disorder.

Portia DeRossi and Ellen DeGeneres

So what do you guys think about the latest two Hollywood stars to come out of about their eating disorders? Does this help you, hurt you, or do you not give a rip?

Portia De Rossi was on Oprah earlier this week talking about anorexia and recovery to promote her new book ‘Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain.’. De Rossi shared how she exercised to work off the calories from a pack of gum by running around in a parking lot (been there, done that, except I did the stairs at my apartment) and revealing that at one time she weighed 82 pounds standing 5’8. Osteoporoses, cirrhosis, organ failure and the auto-immune disease lupus were the diseases that were a result of her eating disorder. She is now happily married to Ellen Degeneres and credits her recovery to the love and acceptance they share for one another.

This morning I read about Demi Lovato, one of my 10 year old daughters favorites. In case you don’t know her, she was the star of Camp Rock and later landed her own Disney sitcom “Sunny with a Chance.” Lovato just announced she will take a break from touring with the Jonas Brothers to enter treatment for her eating disorder which she says stems from being bullied. The video below shows Lovato talking about her experience, which shows that even being part of the popular crowd doesn’t make you immune from bullying.

How do you feel when you read about these stories?

Do they matter? Does it make you feel less alone?

Or are these people totally irrelevant?

If I had to guess, we are going to have a mixed response on this one. There tends to be those who say their ED has nothing do with Hollywood or anything else, its purely their own control, perfectionism, personal issue. Then there are those who are VERY influenced by the media, Hollywood and fashion (hello pro anas!) who have succumbed to the pressure to try to measure up to weight and beauty standards.

(more…)

Knowledge is power.

I support the National Eating Disorder Association, and if you are looking for help NOW they have an awesome ANONYMOUS helpline your can call to chat with someone who gets it.

What do you have to lose?

Just call ‘em will ya?!

Love,

mamaV

XOXO

PS Life is MUCH better on the other side.

Ok, the promos for this new E! show are so totally sensationalized its pathetic…but the show itself, I have mixed feelings about.

First, check out the promo.

The music, the images, the narrator voice — totally over the top. But then I went the E! site to see videos of the actual show and I thought it may have some value. What do you think?

(more…)

I recently made a new friend I’ll call JH who said she was ready to see her doctor but she kept chickening out. She asked me for my advice on what to say to the doctor; here’s what I had to say.

First stop – psychologist, not a medical doctor.

Now don’t freak out over this thought and start worrying about what everyone will think about you visiting a shrink (who really gives a rip about this at this point since your life is in total shambles, plus screw ‘em, if they want to judge you so be it) The basis of your eating disorder is the way you think and the sooner you own up to this the better (and just an FYI in case you don’t know a Psychologist can not prescribe medicine, he/she would have you see a Psychiatrist for those needs).

Update 10/7/10 Reminder: mamaV is not a professional, nor do I claim to be.

I am not stating an ED sufferer should not go to a medical doctor.  It is my opinion that a psychologist is an appropriate first step, with the next step being a medical doctor.  The truth is that many of us end up in the ER or in a medical doctor’s office due to our physical condition, so in many cases the sufferer does not have a choice. However, when faced with a choice, I believe many medical doctors do more harm than good if they are not trained in eating disorders, leaving sufferers with questions about their illness & diagnosis. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard from individuals who are told to simply go home and start eating. Wow. Now that is great professional advice.

Would I go so far to say that eating disorders are 100% mental illness?

(more…)

I think this is the very first post I have ever written about religion. I am not sure why I have avoided the topic, but if I had to guess I would say the topic tends to be off-putting to some (and I certainly don’t want to seem like some holy roller).

So, on to the topic; do you pray?

I started wondering about this when I responded to a direct email I received from an eating disorder sufferer. I found myself almost typing the advice to add prayer to her life, but then I thought it was inappropriate since how do I know her background, culture, and other factors of her beliefs? For me to state she should pray seemed rude.

What do you think?

I have a regular prayer that I somehow made up in my head, I have no idea when, it goes like this;

“God, help show me the way and help me be the best person I can be.”

(more…)

If you happen to be in Milwaukee on October 24th. 2010, or close enough to drive on over, join me for the SELF ESTEEM STOMP!

This event is sponsored by NORMAL in Schools (NIS), a non-profit association that is very close to my heart. I met Robyn Hussa, the President of NIS, a few years back while in Madison, WI at a NEDA session. We clicked immediately. We became friends and business associates. And now we need to raise some serious cash for the organization ( so if you happen to have a spare million laying around please let us know).

(more…)