I love this girl.

Andre’a sent me this video and asked me to post it. After watching it, it is my pleasure to post it. I post this with a message of hope and prayer to all of you reading my blog.

I wish for you happiness, self confidence, and freedom from self hatred.

I wish for you glimpses of hope in your daily life that give you the energy to believe a better life awaits you.

I wish for you adults that have their heads screwed on straight, capable of guiding you down a path of self confidence and respect for your body.

I wish for you friends that surround you, encourage you, and never judge you.

Even if my wishes do not come true, you will make it. You are going to make it. This ED hell is going to pass, and you are going to live the life you were meant to. As horrific as all of this is, I truly believe it is happening for a reason. That reason alludes you now, but someday it will be clear.

As clear as it became to me when I started writing this blog 20 years after my struggles had past. The day I wrote my first post was the day I understood why I suffered so much to get to this place.





About mamaV

Former Paris model providing advice for eating disorder sufferers who aspire to be thin, follow the proana lifestyle, and lack self esteem.
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4 Responses to I love this girl.

  1. -Jen- says:

    Amazing video!

    It’s so true, MamaV, it is possible to make it. And the other side of this ED stuff is amazing, wonderful, and glorious! =)

    I can’t help but to think that Leah would be so excited about what you’ve done here….about all the girls you’ve helped…about me finally getting my head on straight and recovering (REALLY recovering and going strong)

    It does all become clear after a while. As much damage as my ed did…it was worth it in the end. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I didn’t fight my way through it. I’m stronger for having been through that hell.

    Life is good!

  2. molly says:

    In a way it contradicts what you preach here. Truly, ask yourself, how is this different than an underweight girl making a video saying she loves her body. She stated her measurements in this video – it puts her in Obese Class 1. Why the double standard? Why is it okay to be overweight, but not underweight. Why do we praise this girl when she is unhealthy just like someone who is underweight. Both are not healthy. I just want to make this point because I’m so tired of people thinking that its okay to be overweight, it’s not. Just like it’s not okay to be underweight.

  3. Pania says:

    Hi there.

    I feel like I have some profound things to express to you, but I’m apprehensive about pulling it off… Does this sound like an anorexic speaking, or what?

    I’ll keep it brief. (Hah. Not really.) I want to thank you for providing a blog of singular insight–I can tell your brain isn’t starving…

    You impress and inspire me, yes.

    And today I came to your blog in a state of particular despair, feeling zoned-out and a bit like I’m irrevocably stagnant in recover… But then I happened (completely and utterly by chance… in fact, I normally would not have clicked on the link titled “I love this girl” except that perhaps I was hoping there would be some sort of positive role model featured… And there was.) I hadn’t anticipated what I saw, but it was truly a gift:

    As I watched her, I wondered all along, HOW did she become this way, how can she be at peace?… I began to love her, too. I paused the video when she said, “Didja pause it..?” And, OOH, hard as it was, I said that shit to myself in the mirror, like she said to. And I swear I had a religious experience: I SAW my eating disorder in my eyes, saw it flinching, saw the hollow sick glint, and saw that THAT, that sickness in my skin and my eyes, the dryness and the apathy.

    THAT was it, it flinching at the words I nonetheless spoke, it cringing at “beautiful” and “strong,” thinking, “Lie. Lie.” I looked at myself and tried to claim my body, my features, my eyes, but it was difficult. My eyes were red. Still, I spoke the words, and tried to look at the part of me that didn’t scream at me to shut the hell up. And I feel like I gained* some shred of dignity. And that’s BIG right now.

    Anyway, other than this minor little victory, I want to thank you for speaking up about the media. I think anorexia is the intentional (however insane) utilization of a convenient physical mechanism which is that our bodies have a way of preventing us from suffering when starving. Some of us, depending on how susceptible to anxiety, depression, and MEDIA suggestions, will pick up that vice. And it will make us sick in the head and heart (literally and the rest).

  4. may says:

    She´s so strong and nice.I wish I could be that confident about myself.

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