Do you pray?

I think this is the very first post I have ever written about religion. I am not sure why I have avoided the topic, but if I had to guess I would say the topic tends to be off-putting to some (and I certainly don’t want to seem like some holy roller).

So, on to the topic; do you pray?

I started wondering about this when I responded to a direct email I received from an eating disorder sufferer. I found myself almost typing the advice to add prayer to her life, but then I thought it was inappropriate since how do I know her background, culture, and other factors of her beliefs? For me to state she should pray seemed rude.

What do you think?

I have a regular prayer that I somehow made up in my head, I have no idea when, it goes like this;

“God, help show me the way and help me be the best person I can be.”

That statement encompasses what I would call my faith, because it reflects the fact that I believe that God or someone is guiding my life, that there is a plan for my life. I believe this wholeheartedly. No matter how bad a situation seems to be (death, murder, suffering, torture) I can honestly say I believe it happens for a reason.

The impact a person’s death or suffering has on all the people around them is like a rock dropping into the water sending ripples out ward. Relationships are formed, emotions are shown, love is exposed, and in the end; all of this is part of that suffering/dead person’s life purpose.

For example, my sister-in-law had a double mastectomy a few weeks back, and all the family came together to support her during her days at the hospital. As a result, I ended up talking with her Father-in-Law, a man I had spend many holidays with but never having the opportunity to REALLY talk to. What a down-to-earth, interesting person he is, what a relationship I was missing out on. I hope he felt the same when reflecting on our conversations.

My point here is that I believe there was a true purpose for he and I to establish our relationship that day. This wasn’t random, it was planned, and someday I will know why.

So how the heck does this have anything to do with you and your eating disorder?

This is about believing your life has a purpose. I find most ED sufferers are so far removed from this fact. They are deep down in the slowly ticking day to day agony they are stuck in, that the thought that there is a life out there waiting for them is too distant to recognize.

You have a purpose.

There is a reason for your suffering.

You will come out of this a different person.

And this is all a part of your journey in life.

The other important part of my prayer is that it reflects that I have let go of control, because I am asking God, or Buhdda, or whomever I believe in to “show me the way.” I trust that God will do that. I trust that when really shitty, hard things happen its for a reason.

This blog is a perfect example of how a really bad experience can turn into a life changing one. When I was a model in Paris, starving myself to death for who the hell knows what, do you think I could ever visualize that someday I would write about my experiences and they would actually matter? Actually help someone?


And that I find to be an incredible miracle in my life (no exaggeration).

And that is why I keep on typing away here because I know that I am here, in this moment, to share my thoughts and perspective, because somewhere, someone is being touched by my words and hopefully helped by them.

What else can you ask for?

Its a beautiful thing.




P.S. This post was inspired by Lael.

About mamaV

Former Paris model providing advice for eating disorder sufferers who aspire to be thin, follow the proana lifestyle, and lack self esteem.
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8 Responses to Do you pray?

  1. Alison says:

    I don’t pray because I’m agnostic. To my mind, whatever works for you and gets you through the day is A Good Thing.

    The bad stuff that happens to us shapes who we become; we are not the same at 20 as at 40, and so on. But the bad stuff shouldn’t get the best of us, and I say if prayer works for a person, then he or she should go ahead and pray.

    On the other hand, if someone suggested I pray, that would raise my hackles, so I think you were right to refrain.

  2. -Jen- says:

    “You have a purpose.

    There is a reason for your suffering.

    You will come out of this a different person.

    And this is all a part of your journey in life.”


    I wouldn’t be who I am today without that journey. I wouldn’t have met Leah, and I wouldn’t have found the amazing support system I have. I wouldn’t be alive to be doing what I love.

    I have never stopped praying…maybe because I was raised Southern Baptist….There were times when I wasn’t sure my prayers were being heard, but I never stopped.

  3. Lamdas says:

    I have floated around Atheism, Agnosticism, and nihilism

    since probably high school. I just chose not to believe.

    I choose to fight my own battles. And my fight against my

    ed is my war. And I’m winning.

  4. sIM_One. says:

    i do.

  5. myowndisaster says:

    I pray, more often now than before. And, one day, I hope more often than I do now. Prayer can be powerful. It can be amazing and quite beautiful. However prayer without genuine knowing, belief, and faith is essentially useless. In the Christian faith, a sinner’s (and by sinners I mean every person on this earth) prayer is not heard before acceptance. One must accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior for God to hear their prayer. Without Jesus there is no deliverance, there is no hope.

    I think encouraging others to pray is great advice. A true belief and trust in God can bring a peace not of this world. To be honest, I’m new when it comes to this whole Christian thing but one thing is for certain, I’ve found more happiness in 3 months than I have in 6 years. If I were striving to be politically correct, I would say this isn’t for everyone. I’m not going to do that though. It is for everyone, seek out God, call upon Him and if you do this genuinely and in good faith you will find the answers you have been looking for. This is not to say your life will all of the sudden become perfect and your eating disorder will simply go away, because it won’t. Trust me, it won’t, I’m still struggling as much as before. You will encounter adversity and you will struggle, but God’s touch in your life will show a larger purpose. You will find that the story you’re living and thought was all about you, is much larger and much more powerful than you could have ever imagined.

    If anyone is curious about Christianity, I encourage you to start a spiritual journey. I know it sounds strange but spiritual “journey” is what I like to refer to it as because, from my experience, I’ve never been so moved while standing still. It’s not easy and I felt an array of emotions, some I hope to never repeat. It was worth it though. I would suggest going to a church but I know some churches aren’t always the accepting, loving places they should be. So before I took the church step, I read. A lot. If you are questioning the validity of Christianity, read I Don’t Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist. It’s well written and gives factual information we often aren’t exposed to. If you are passed the intellectual battle with God, read Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. The combination of these two books, with bits and pieces from others, pretty much changed my life.

    Not everyone will find God, which makes me sad but I think Blaise Pascall said it best: “In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don’t.”

  6. Ashley says:

    This is such an inspiring post, thank you!

  7. Lael says:

    yeah i’m with ‘myowndisaster’ on this one! except i’ve only been a Christian 2 weeks.. so ‘new to the faith’ is abit of an understatement.
    i spent a lot of time trying different religons because i’ve always felt something else, then i went through a phase of being an atheist which was around the time when i developed an eating disorder, but to cut a long story short, i’ve become a christian& things are going good :)i find my prayers do get answered as long as i pray them with faith.
    im not meaning to sound preachy because i remember how much that used to p*ss me off! & i totally respect all other religons but i think this is the one that suits me :)

  8. Nina says:

    I love your message “There is a reason for your suffering.”
    I have found this to be so true! After enduring the hell of an eating disorder and coming out on the other side, I am genuinely grateful for everything that the eating disorder has taught me.
    My favorite prayer at the moment is “God heal my heart”.
    I dont subscribe to any particular religion but I do believe that there is a guiding force that is available to help move through our challenges and become our best.

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