I think this is the very first post I have ever written about religion. I am not sure why I have avoided the topic, but if I had to guess I would say the topic tends to be off-putting to some (and I certainly don’t want to seem like some holy roller).
So, on to the topic; do you pray?
I started wondering about this when I responded to a direct email I received from an eating disorder sufferer. I found myself almost typing the advice to add prayer to her life, but then I thought it was inappropriate since how do I know her background, culture, and other factors of her beliefs? For me to state she should pray seemed rude.
What do you think?
I have a regular prayer that I somehow made up in my head, I have no idea when, it goes like this;
“God, help show me the way and help me be the best person I can be.”
That statement encompasses what I would call my faith, because it reflects the fact that I believe that God or someone is guiding my life, that there is a plan for my life. I believe this wholeheartedly. No matter how bad a situation seems to be (death, murder, suffering, torture) I can honestly say I believe it happens for a reason.
The impact a person’s death or suffering has on all the people around them is like a rock dropping into the water sending ripples out ward. Relationships are formed, emotions are shown, love is exposed, and in the end; all of this is part of that suffering/dead person’s life purpose.
For example, my sister-in-law had a double mastectomy a few weeks back, and all the family came together to support her during her days at the hospital. As a result, I ended up talking with her Father-in-Law, a man I had spend many holidays with but never having the opportunity to REALLY talk to. What a down-to-earth, interesting person he is, what a relationship I was missing out on. I hope he felt the same when reflecting on our conversations.
My point here is that I believe there was a true purpose for he and I to establish our relationship that day. This wasn’t random, it was planned, and someday I will know why.
So how the heck does this have anything to do with you and your eating disorder?
This is about believing your life has a purpose. I find most ED sufferers are so far removed from this fact. They are deep down in the slowly ticking day to day agony they are stuck in, that the thought that there is a life out there waiting for them is too distant to recognize.
You have a purpose.
There is a reason for your suffering.
You will come out of this a different person.
And this is all a part of your journey in life.
The other important part of my prayer is that it reflects that I have let go of control, because I am asking God, or Buhdda, or whomever I believe in to “show me the way.” I trust that God will do that. I trust that when really shitty, hard things happen its for a reason.
This blog is a perfect example of how a really bad experience can turn into a life changing one. When I was a model in Paris, starving myself to death for who the hell knows what, do you think I could ever visualize that someday I would write about my experiences and they would actually matter? Actually help someone?
And that I find to be an incredible miracle in my life (no exaggeration).
And that is why I keep on typing away here because I know that I am here, in this moment, to share my thoughts and perspective, because somewhere, someone is being touched by my words and hopefully helped by them.
What else can you ask for?
Its a beautiful thing.
P.S. This post was inspired by Lael.