Better a bitch than a wimp.

I often wonder just how many people think I’m a bitch. A bitch because I know what I want, I know how I feel, and I don’t let people treat me like crap.

How about you?

My guess is you let people walk all over you. You spend your day worried about what everyone else thinks about you fretting around asking yourself “do they like me? Am I good enough? Am I thin enough? Am I pretty enough?”

To hell with it already. I mean seriously girls, is it working?

This is truly one of THEE hardest concepts for woman to absorb and live. I thank god that it comes naturally to me. One of my best friends told me that when she is in tough situations she thinks “what would mamaV do?” and that is one of the biggest compliments I have ever gotten.

Let’s talk a moment about how difficult being a tough chick is in the business world. I am constantly tricking myself into believing that me being a confident, strong female business owner has nothing to do with my day to day business dealings — but I have come to the conclusion that is a total crock. Men are intimidated by me, not only because I am tough and confident, but because I am good looking and I don’t flaunt my sexuality. They just can’t deal. And it is pathetic. The stories I could tell about absolutely ridiculous situations in which the underlying issue was simply; I was the woman with the power and the guy’s ego couldn’t handle it (thus the reason I started my own biz two years ago).

I have one, and only one word of advice to you when it comes to business:

Never, ever let them see you cry.

You do and you’re dead. You will never be taken seriously again (if you were in the first place) and your weakness will always be pinned against you. Truth hurts sometimes.

That’s my lovely rant for the day, I’ve been wanting to talk about this for sometime so hopefully this makes some sense. Remember this my girls;

People are naturally self centered. They think more about themselves then they do about you, so all this imagining you are hated is likely not true. And if it is, so be it.

Enjoy your weekend,


About mamaV

Former Paris model providing advice for eating disorder sufferers who aspire to be thin, follow the proana lifestyle, and lack self esteem.
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8 Responses to Better a bitch than a wimp.

  1. Ashley says:

    Have you read Why Men Love Bitches? It’s a great book! It teaches you how being a pushover will get you nowhere. This changed my life, and I am still trying to master the art of being bitchy enough to gain respect, because you don’t want to be over the top bitchy either.

    However, I’m going to have to disagree with you on the crying thing. Crying is human and just because you cry doesn’t make you weak. Yes, many men tend to not take a woman seriously after she starts crying in front of him. But hey, shit happens. Yes I try to avoid it but in some situations, you just can’t. And to the man who considers *that* weak…well, let’s just say I’ve never met a man who I couldn’t make cry if I wanted to.

  2. Lizzie says:

    I don’t think you are a bitch i think you are determined. you have definately taught me alot and have helped/continued to help me along my road to recovery. I see you as a great inspiration because you dont let people tell you who you are or what to do. I think you have alot to give the world and teach so many because of what you have been through and what you know within yourself.

  3. Alanna says:

    “My tears don’t compromise my strength. They never have.”

    I respect a lot of what you say and I know that lots of people lose respect for women when they cry. I spent many years stifling my emotions because I had to be perfect and strong. That simply landed me in 3 months of treatment for an eating disorder. If people lose respect because a woman cries, they are the problem. Be proud and real. If you need to cry, for God’s sake cry. Emotions make us real.

    • sIM'One says:

      agreed! maybe being tough works for some folks, but it’s not the only way to be successful. i am proud of being a sensitive and humane individual. if someone has a problem with me being honest and upfront about what i stand for and how i feel, than i don’t need to be around them, period.

    • mamaV says:

      Hi Alanna: Let me clarify, when I stated “never let them see you cry” I am referring specifically to men seeing women cry in a business situation.

      Do I wish this was not an issue? YES
      Do I wish I could say crying will not impact your career? YES

      BUT, the good news is that you are absolutely correct- crying is healthy, normal, and good for our mental health so in all other areas of life it should be encouraged.

      Plus, I am talking from a cutt throat business perspective. I have spent WAY too much time among arrogant men at the top, so I am jaded.

      I hope you are doing well. The fact that you posted here and stated how you feel is a good thing. Nice to meet you!

  4. sIM'One says:

    Life’s way too short to hold back.

  5. Pingback: Better a Bitch than a Wimp | We Are the Real Deal

  6. Aitch says:

    I don’t really want to be a bitch but I know that when I act abrupt or to the point or direct or I state my boundaries–I will be PERCEIVED as being a bitch–and that is where I, and most women need to watch how guilty we feel when we create this perception.
    The cliche about when women act the way men do, everyone (men AND women) will say they are a bitch, whereas if the man exhibits the same behavior, people will just think he is direct assertive and manly, is really TRUE!!!

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