There’s a lot of things I think of but I don’t post because I always try to add an image, add links, etc., etc. etc. Problem is that takes time, which I don’t have a lot of , and I miss this blog. So, you’re going to get more writing, and less fancy schmancy stuff and we will see how that goes. Cool?
Todays topic: What to do when your mother is on a diet.
Here’s the scenario; your mom comes home from her coffee clutch all excited about joining Weight Watchers. She is on a mission to lose 30 pounds, she’s pumped, and then she just happens to mention you could afford to lose some weight too.
Your mind races about thinking; “I am happy with how I look (I am quite sexy actually) why doesn’t mom think so? If she thinks she is fat, well, I have her body, so I must be fat. She’s right. What have I been thinking. I am a fat loser…….”
Stop right there. Your mom’s weight issue, is not your weight issue.
Say it again, and say it out loud until you believe it. I see soooooo much of this going on today and its scary. Moms, Grandmas, Aunts, all sitting around fat chatting, talking about diets, all the while their daughters are sitting there listening intently, thinking;“I am one of them. I am fat too. I have to start a diet because they are and if I don’t they are going to tell me to. Plus Grandma is kind of big, if I don’t start now that is how I will look.”
Seeing that this is a blog focused on eating disorders, I am going to assume the majority of you out there don’t have the greatest body image. I am going to assume that somewhere, sometime, you started being down on yourself and your body, and you started spiraling down that hellish ED hole.
Please tell me how it happened?
Please tell me why it happened?
Did your mom (or dad) have anything to do with your body image?
Statistics show that mothers are the #1 influence on their daughters body image. Number 1 ; more influential than boyfriends, peers, anyone. So why do some moms not get it?
From my 40 year old mom perspective, its because they never learned to love themselves. They never had a role model to teach them about positive body image. Maybe they did feel great at one time, but with age, the lumps and bumps took over and it was hard to accept.
But regardless, it is your mom’s (and dad’s) responsibility to teach you how to have a positive attitude, love who you are, what you are, and how you look. If they aren’t doing that –worse yet, if they are actually telling you — you suck, you’re a loser, you are not worthy… I am here to say you have a right to find different role models.
You do. Look around and find one — maybe a teacher, maybe a cousin, maybe a friend’s mom. Find one, and find her quick — before your own mother sinks your self esteem.
Gotta run, headed to a meeting for girls and their moms about — self esteem and body image.