Chris Brown is a chump.

Brown apologized for beating the living crap out of his girlfriend Rhianna.

Took him 5 months.

The apology self-preservation video is nothing more than a career saving move. His expression fake, while he read from a teleprompter for goodness sake.


HERE'S THE REAL DEAL GIRLS:

1) If he hits you once – he will do it again. Statistics prove it again and again.

2) Brown's fan base is teenagers, primarily young girls. Do you think parents of these young women are really going to drive their beloved daughters to see some scumbag girl beater? Not happening.

3) In know, I know – Brown came from a family of domestic violence (as did Rhianna). Then he should have seen the warning signs, and did something about it prior to the incident.

Do you really think a person goes from 0 to 60 in an instant?

No way.

This dude has been brewing for a while, probably pushing and slapping, and spouting verbal abuse – all while telling himself and his girlfriend it was "no big deal."

It is a big deal isn't it Chris? Your fresh faced-million dollar career is in the toilet and it's not coming back.

Here's the message:

ANY physical contact between a couple, friends or family members is not acceptable.

No one touches you.

No one.

You hold this level of respect for yourself and you will get it.

No exceptions.

-mV
XO

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21 Responses to Chris Brown is a chump.

  1. Hannah says:

    This is kind of random MamaVision but maybe could you do a post on the positives/negatives of food blogs on girls with self-esteem issues or eating disorders? I know that when I read these documents of every morsel people eat, or their vegan, high-raw lifestyles, makes me feel like eating chicken or even skim dairy is bad for me, and I restrict. It would be interesting to read some of these and share how sometimes, they can be a bad influence.

  2. MCP says:

    I sent her something a few weeks ago when she herself blogged about everything she ate from Pop tarts to kashi cookies and told her I thought that her comment that she knows that when a thin person says they eat everything they don’t believe them, but that she really does eat everthing. I told her it was my opinion that we don’t need nor care to know what and how much she eats and that posting such things fuels the for girls with eating disorders- I only ate x today… I haven’t had a cookie in ten years… etc. She didn’t respond, but I know I am right and that every eating disorder therapist on the planet would agree with me-sharing that stuff on eating disorder website is not HELPFUL.
    I do however agree with her on Chris Brown- but I thought the last comment was very oddly worded. Perhaps a better way to say it is that no unconsensual or violent physical contact between a couple, friends or family is appropriate. I often wonder does she really think before she types.

  3. Meryt Bast says:

    Chris Brown…sheesh. I think he’s mostly sorry he got caught. If he doesn’t get help, he will hit someone again. I do wish him the best, that he will get healthier and happier and, most of all, learn that intimate partner violence leaves scars beyond the physical on the victim.

  4. Bela says:

    I was an equally devoted fan of Chris and Rihanna before he violently abused her. Now I refuse to listen to his music. His apology is simply insincere – only way to describe it. Anyone who has heard him speak in interviews is familiar with his normal composure and this entire apology was obviously a prompted by his people; as well as completely scripted.
    The only way that I will forgive him is if she shows his sincerity through his actions. I’m talking doing entire world wide concerts with the procedures going to some kind of Domestic Violence Organization, reputable talk shows (Oprah or 20/20)…
    Anyway, I doubt he will do so but in light of his age, I really hope he and Rihanna can both recover fully.
    This entire ordeal has left me with an entire stronger support of Rihanna… but I cannot say the same for Chris Brown.

  5. amber says:

    if this teaches young girls anything its that domestic abusers can change, and right not that isn’t the right message. can they? sure, but that doesn’t mean you should wait and continue to be with them until they do. coming out of an abusive relationship that i did do back to earlier this yeah, i know how shitty and how much of a cycle it is. i also know so many young girls wont have the help i did, thats why this shouldn’t be handled so lightly.

  6. SmudgerUK says:

    MCP, your negative attitude to every single post on here is really starting to get on my nipples – maybe if you dislike what MamaV has to say so very, very much, perhaps you should just stop reading, hmm?

  7. MCP says:

    I am honestly not trying to be negative, but since people feel that way, then I will stop reading and commenting.
    I simply think it’s an odd comment to say that friends, family, and spouses can never touch you- perhaps it was a typo. I mean- seriosuly- does she not kiss her kids goodnight or braid her daughter’s hair?
    Coming from a very long history of incest and rape, I have found physical contact from safe people I trust to be extremely comforting- especially during flashbacks or panic attacks.
    As for what I say when it comes to what MV has to say on what she eats everyday- I am simply saying that in my experience with an eating disorder, the many hospitalizations I have been through, the many therapists I have encountered, and the many friends I know who have an ED, such sharing of information is not viewed as very helpful to someone with an eating disorder and should only be discussed with a nutritionist.
    If you have ever seen the Documentary “THIN” you will notice that there is a rule amongst the eating disorder patients not to discuss weight, food, calories or numbers in group therapy.
    In addition- there is one scene where the nutritionist says to Brittney “Should you listen to your nutritionist, or to the other Eating Disorder Patients?”
    My point is that sometimes, she says and does things sometimes that I think are inappropriate and often unhelpful to people with eating disorders- like what she eats and pictures of Pro anna websites.
    So then, if people don’t like what I have to say then fine. I will stop reading it because she doesn’t listen to what I say anyway. But I am only sharing what I have found to be helpful verses not in my 23 year battle with Anorexia. If that offends anyone, than I apologize. I am recovered now, thank GOD, but I am not going to sit here and say that I think it’s approrpriate to post pictures of skeletons on a pro-recovery website along with a food journal that says you eat pop tarts at some crazy hour of the night.

  8. smudgeruk says:

    Hey MCP – I’m not saying anyone wants you to leave or stop posting, it’s not my place to say that and I wouldn’t dream of doing it.
    It just feels like you’re picking holes in absolutely everything on here, sometimes, and I personally find that sort of negativity draining. Besides, when I come across sites that I find triggering, I just don’t go back there. They’re not for me.
    Also – I think this site has grown to be about so much more than just eating disorders, it’s dealing with wider women’s issues now.
    I don’t think MamaV has ever claimed to be an expert here, she’s not offering a treatment programme – at the end of the day, it’s a private blog, and whether you like it or not she can ultimately post what she wants. I don’t always agree with the content, but it’s her right to post what she believes in on her own site.
    (As for the “touching / physical contact” comment above – I think it was poorly worded, but from the context it is clear what she means…)

  9. twistedSISTER says:

    woooo guys chill out yeah?!
    I have been on this site for years and never in my experience has mamav backed away from people expressing their views to herself or her blog. Yes what MCP says can be defined as either rude or abrupt but thats her choice to write it.
    Smudge babe I do understand what you are saying I really really do but babe at the end of the day its between mamav and mcp if they want to battle it out, let em.
    Yes I find this post to be a bit random, yes I agree that maybe mamav should have put her “touching” comment in another way so it could not be misunderstood but at end of day if I dont think I agree with it I just dont ead it or comment but that is my choice.
    I dunno maybe I am now over reacting lol I dunno ill just sit in corner and shut up LOL.
    on another point there is a size zero petition to be signing if your interested go to http://www.wordpress.com/twistsis
    TS
    xxxx

  10. smudgeruk says:

    Hi TS. Will check out your petition. :)
    OK, I’m really, really not starting anything here – I just grow slightly weary of constant nit-picking (especially when the subject is a website no-one is forcing you to read, you know?)
    But yes – you are completely right in reminding me that MamaV has never, ever shied away from her critics, and I shall now shut my gob. :)

  11. mcp says:

    I agree with all of you- she can say what she wants. I know that this site has evolved to so much more than eating disorders- building self esteem for women, etc. I actually think she has some really good points and can be very entertaining. But, I also think that somethings she posts and says about eating disorders are things that are not reccomended to be helpful to people with eating disorders by professionals and that she should when she considers herself an activist against eating disorders bear that in mind.
    Many people who have eating disorders read this site and do not need to be provoked by things that encourage the behavior- discussion of food, and pro ana pix. It doesn’t bother me personally because I’ve been in recovery for a long time. What bothers me is that she sometimes seems to lack an awareness that some things she says and does are the opposite of what people who help people with eating disorders reccomend.
    You don’t have to be a therapist to want to help someone with an eating disorder. I know she isn’t and does not claim to be. But whether friend or activist, I think there are certain things that people should know are not helpful to people with eating disorders and 2 of those things are discussing food weight & #’s and pictures of pro ana pix. But, she can say what she wants. That being said, I can too. It doesn’t affect me personally, and, no I don’t have to read it, but it bothers me that she doesn’t see that it could affect other people reading this site depending on what stage they are in in their recovery. But then again, they don’t have to read it either.

  12. twistedSISTER says:

    smudge babe you dont need to shut your gob! lol such an english thing to say!!! lol
    Also mcp hun, mamav sees alot more that what you and I and everyone else give her credit for. Believe me me and Heather have on more than one occasion came to blows on something she has said or written but she does see what she is writing, she sees it and writes it anyway. And my blog is alot like hers, basically for me, eating disordered people have people all around them walking on egg shells and not saying what they really think etc but to me thats worse than someone coming straight out with it. Thats what mamaV is doing.
    I am not trying to stick up for her or anyone else at all I just wanted you and others to realise that although what she says can be harsh, she is getting her point across the only way she knows how and so are you, and me and smudge and everyone.
    Noone should be silenced on their own views and I think that everyone needs to take a step back and realise that all that blogging is is basically speaking your mind to people who are looking for someone who does exactly that.
    TS
    xxx

  13. MCP says:

    TS,
    I’m not trying to silence her- I actually totally agree with her about her opinions on pro- anna, etc. I just think that sometimes, she comes across as lacking empathy and sensitivity- I totally understand her points and I agree with her that eating disorders are evil and need to be adressed.
    I am glad she came out on the otherside, as have I, but for many of us, myself included- it’s not so black and white- it’s not as simplistic as she puts it. I have done a great deal of research on ED recently, and there are tons of very current studies emphasing that Anorexia and Bulimia are disorders that are biologically based- a chemical imbalance in the brain that can often be genetic in families with histories of mental illness.
    Parents who are rigid with their children’s food and the pressure of society to be thin are a big problem and don’t help the problem and they are wrong- but they can not cause or prevent an eating disorder. You could be the best Mother in the world, encourage healthy eating, and sadly, still end up with an eating disordered child.
    I get that parents need to create a positive attitude about food and weight for their children and teach them self esteem. But even the best and most responsible parents end up with kids who have ed, or drug and alcohol issues.
    I am the prime example of a girl who had wonderful, kind and supportive parents and their daughter still had anorexia for years. And these were parents who never uttered a word to me about my weight or were strict with what I ate. When I got one- they said to my shrink… We don’t undderstand… she’s never been overweight since the day she was born. What did we do?
    I just think that in my experience in therapy in the 80s and 90’s and even today though less so with research… I hear from parents in the stories I read about that there is a lot of blame throwing that if your kid has an eating disorder, a skinny model, a magazine weight loss ad or bad parenting is to blame.
    It isn’t. I just wish that when she talks about eating disorders, she would explore the other side of it sometimes and pay more attention to the current information out there on the biological component on eating disorders and realize that it is not all about media and bad parents. In fact, there were several articles in the Times about it recently and several medical studies that have been published. But, it’s her choice to say and do what she wants and take whatever angle she wants. I just think when you are raising an awareness and adressing an issue that you feel so strongly about- it’s helpful to present both sides.
    I know the walking on eggshells thing- trust me… I’ve been there. I know it was not easy for my friends to see me go through this but what my therapist and nutritionst encouraged me to do was to tell my friends that discussing food and weight was not helpful to me and belongs in their offices- not when going out with friends to the mall or the movies. Telling me stories about look what happened to Karen Carpenter… not helpful. This illness is often so twisted that many people in the throws of it can not grasp the damage and the dangers of what they are doing and the in your face thing can backfire. I am only speaking from my own experience of what helped me.
    With an extremely long history of childhood sexual abuse and the threats I would get if I told, the threats when I developed an eating disorder of harsh dr.’s in the hospital- if you don’t eat, we will tube you and no tv- well… that didn’t work for me.
    If anything, it made me far worse and dig in my heels, because for me, anorexia was about controlling a lot of things that I couldn’t that were taken away from me when I was a helpless child.
    What worked was compassion, and a lot of patience with therapists who understood that just eat already was not so easy for me and de-programming me from all the negative thoughts in my head and realize that what happened to me was not my fault and that I’d been through enough trauma than to put myself through more by starving myself.
    I just think that while maybe she knows all this, when she writes about eating disorders, she only writes about the contributing factors of them from one perspective. Eating disorders are very serious complex psychiatric illnesses and I think she needs to address the other angle to them than just society- but that’s my opinion.

  14. smudgeruk says:

    “I just think that while maybe she knows all this, when she writes about eating disorders, she only writes about the contributing factors of them from one perspective.”
    I’m thinking out loud here, and it’s not for me to second guess what MamaV’s motives are for her particular slant in posting, but perhaps she’s just concentrating on what she feels she knows and has experienced herself? You know, as a former model, someone who has seen it and lived it, someone aware of the way airbrushing is used to present unrealistic body images?
    Perhaps she’s just subscribing to the “Write about what you know best” school of thought. I don’t know.

  15. twistedSISTER says:

    MCP,
    Hun I understand everything that you just said and I think im some ways you are right but you also hit the nail on the head, you are talking about your background with an ED and thats all that Heather is doing.
    I do agree that sometimes we need to address the issues on the other side of the coin and I do believe that. But all mamav is doing is basically drawing from her own experiences and the experiences of others that she has been told about like me etc.
    I grew up with the crappest parents around who are to blame for my ED, so basically the opposite of you really. I also grew up with rape and violence too so I do understand where you are coming from.
    Im just saying basically that each to their own and if mamav wants to write something then she should be able to do so and then if she gets critisized (spelling???) for it then that is her problem and she can deal with it and if people like it then great but one thing that I have learnt from doing my own blog is that you can never please everyone and also that every time you do a post you learn something new. Every stage is a learning stage no matter how long you have been doing it for.
    If you want to rant at me you are more than welcome to do so on my blog lol
    TS xxxx

  16. MCP says:

    probably- but I don’t think it could hurt her to explore the other sides of it too when she’s speaking at an eating disorder conference. I certainly know that modeling can definiely trigger an eating disorder- Agents and coaches telling you are fat.I was a professional ballerina for many years. I seriously don’t think that environment helped. But with other complex issues like sexual abuse and a learning disability that affected my self esteem and the mental illness that runs in my family- depression, mainly… I am convinced and my therapists are convinced I would still have an eating disorder had I never set foot in pointe shoes or a tutu

  17. twistedSISTER says:

    defo! read my post on twistedSISTER and sign the say no to size zero petition xxxx

  18. smudgeruk says:

    My personal view on the “cause” is that it’s to do with control, it’s to do with self-image, and it’s to do with what you’re being told by others about beauty, and what you look like.
    It’s going to be different in every single person’s case, but these seem to be themes that come over time and time again.

  19. twistedSISTER says:

    it is to do with control, to me that is what it is about! Again no matter what we read or are going to be told, each experience is different and we need to accept that xxx

  20. MCP says:

    You are all right- everyone’s experience is different. I do think bad parenting and berating your child esp about food or weight can be a factor in triggering an ED. It’s a horrible thing to do and wears one down.
    It just made me sad that I had the best parents ever who drove me around to every single eating disorder guru in the country- every hospital, read everything they could get their hands on to help me and they sometimes got told that there was something wrong with them.
    At the end of the day, while my parents were and are still good people, there was child sexual abuse in my history. That was not their fault either but they got told that too. At the end of the day, all I can say is that no matter who did what to you or why you have an eating disorder, you are the only one ultimately, with the right help who can turn it around. It’s not easy. It’s freaking hell. I’ve fallen many many times and had to haul myself back up and while I am doing well, it’s still very much a struggle.
    I’ve known and met people who are fortunate to have had an eating disorder only briefly and have it just be a phase and never have it return.
    I wasn’t one of them and it’s hard work but it is POSSIBLE.

  21. Lizzy says:

    I think it takes a strong woman to walk away from an abusive relationship and she just hasn’t found that strenght yet. My mom used to say “NO one is worth your dignity or self respect” and I believe that is true and I always will. My mom said if anyone ever hit me they better be afraid and I also told her “they should be more afraid of me then anyone else at that point because they won’t live to hit me again” And I would still like to believe that I would stick to that statement but I seem to believe in myself less and less as time goes on.

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