Dying to fit in; do you know what your tween is not eating?

I recently was interviewed for this ParentsCanada feature story on eating disorders.

For those of you who don’t know my real name is Heather, in the article I share some of my worst struggles with an ED during the hell-ish modeling days in Paris.

I don’t miss the baby food
Or the 3 hour workouts,
Or feeling like shit about myself
Or analyzing every-single-imperfection on my entire face and body even though there were none.

Thank god that I came out the other side alive, healthy, happy, and only semi-neurotic. The anxiety freak is still in me, but tamed….I’ve grown to like her.

Do I think I will ever go back there?

No way in hell.

There is literally no way in hell.

Never ever did I visualize I would live to see that day that my every waking hour wasn’t spent crisis-ing about what I put in my mouth, what I weighed, or how I was being judged. It took six years of heavy duty  deprogramming to erase the brainwashing my psychotic modeling agents thrust upon me as a mere child, the ones who rigged the scale, told me to not eat, prodded me to be sexier, to get a boob job, to build up my shoulders, and to continually pound my body into the sand for the love of fashion.

But I beat them, and I beat my evil ED.

And you can too, with dedication, commitment, and a positive attitude.

Pick yourself up each time you fall down, and sooner or later you will find you are standing tall with a free spirit and soul that is just waiting for what life has to offer.


About mamaV

Former Paris model providing advice for eating disorder sufferers who aspire to be thin, follow the proana lifestyle, and lack self esteem.
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6 Responses to Dying to fit in; do you know what your tween is not eating?

  1. aileb says:

    I am excited that Eating Disorders are brought to parents’ attention by the article MV!
    I am also saddened that nowhere did it mention that Eating Disorders can be genetic, neurobiological, or was there a mention of children needing to have a predisposition in order to develop this MENTAL ILLNESS.
    From, ED Bites, a blog by Carrie Arnold: http://www.ed-bites.blogspot.com
    “An anorexic isn’t starving for perfection and they’re not dying to fit in.”
    “But my symptoms (starving, purging, over-exercising) weren’t meaningful. They were the result of an illness not a conscious desire to look better.”
    From the blog “Are You Eating With Your Anorexic?” by Laura Collins.
    “Eating disorders are not wrong thinking gone overboard. Eating disorders are a brain disorder triggered by physiological processes like undernourishment, stress, illness, over-exercise.”
    “We have a generation of women posting semi-nude images of themselves to show off their bones and nobody seems to care.” MV
    This screaming from the rooftops, “Look, what they’re doing!” isn’t going to stop or help us.
    It just perputates the sterotypes.
    That anorexics are influenced by the media. Or worst yet, the media/online peer pressure can cause anorexia.
    It’s all smoke and mirrors that deters from the real issue.
    I respect your passion and the stance you take about the media and warning parents about the pro-ana sites.
    But this statement is something that I cannot agree with.
    “Eating disorders have exploded due to society’s mixed messages about food, obesity and the fashion/media influence.”
    Society and the media don’t cause eating disorders.

  2. PTC says:

    I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll ever eat/be “normal” with any of this crap.

  3. Jxx says:

    But I just don’t know how to get out of it. It just seems that the ED means more to me than living. It just seems that the weight goes down down down, even on the weeks I want it to stabalize.

  4. mamaV says:

    Hi aileb: I will keep beating my drum and you keep beating yours.
    There are two schools of thought here, and what I am seeing is an evolution in thinking on EDs.
    Media can be a factor.
    Not a cause.
    Genetic predisposition is a factor, and sometimes the cause.
    Mental illness is a factor.
    Is it the cause?
    Be very, very careful not to let your personal viewpoint grey the entire landscape.
    I am familiar with Collins and all the rest. I respect Collins and all the rest.
    But there is a need for all voices and all lines of thought to fight this disease.
    I will be speaking at the NEDA annual conference in Sept. in Minneapolis. The audience is parents of ED sufferers, and I will be speaking on my perspective which will include media influence.
    If you care to join us for a healthy debate, I’ll see you there.

  5. tween win says:

    Who? iS Partenal tween?? plzzzz

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