A beaten, bruised image of 19 year old
pop star Rihanna is everywhere; magazine covers, tabloids, and even
Police reports state: Rihanna questioned her boyfriend, Chris Brown, about text messages (from a woman). He proceeded to punch her bloody, put her in a headlock, and now….they are writing a book and will sing a duo together.
Oprah is focused on the Rihanna abuse situation today, as am I, because this presents the opportunity to speak about this topic…one that is all too common in the history of those with eating disorders.
As it turns out, both Rihanna and Brown come from abusive homes. They are both still just kids themselves.
"When you grew up in an environment where there is abuse, it's more
acceptable to you," Winfrey said. "If you go back with a man who hits
you it's because you don't think you're worthy of being with a man who
Unworthiness. How often have I heard that word from the eating disordered, when the direct opposite is
The abuser is the one who is unworthily.
The abuser is unworthy of your love and affection.
The abuser is the one with the problem.
The abuser is the one that needs to punished.
At the core of it all; lack of self esteem. No one deserves this. I state this because several teens on Oprah were expressing this point of view stating "Rihanna started it."
Let's get this perfectly straight;
No level of physical abuse is ok.
None. Not a slap, a push or being held against your will.
No level of verbal abuse is
acceptable. If you have some one telling you that you are not good
enough by shouting obscenities in your face….step back and look at
them. Look at what a pathetic person they are for needing to degrade
and control another person. Especially a person they "love."
No woman, or man, deserves this treatment.
Period. There is no action that causes another person to be violent,
its a con game.
If it happens once, it will
happen again. This is a fact and you are kidding yourself if you
believe in the abuser for one more moment.
From the world I come from, the image of Rihanna is shocking, and I mean totally, and completely shocking. I have never, ever even had a man, or woman for that matter, even try to lay a hand on me. Ever. Not my parents, a boyfriend, my husband, or any friend or family member. Nor have I ever witnessed such violence.This type of violent treatment is so totally out of my
realm of reality it just stuns me.
I want it to start stunning YOU.
You need to be stunned by any and all verbal and/or physical abuse in your life.
And you need to turn away from it to get your life back.
Either that, or you stay in this cycle of abuse and watch a small part of you fade away with each and every punch, slap, and cuss word.
You are not alone- reach out for help.
If you need help or know someone who does, call the National Teen
Dating Abuse Helpline at 866-331-9474 or the National Domestic Violence
Hotline at 800-799-SAFE
Love is not abuse
Teen Dating Bill Of Rights
Call for help: 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453 TTY.