Rihanna: Maybe she deserved it.

A beaten, bruised image of 19 year old
pop star Rihanna is everywhere; magazine covers, tabloids, and even
on Oprah.

Police reports state: Rihanna questioned her boyfriend, Chris Brown, about text messages (from a woman). He proceeded to punch her bloody, put her in a headlock, and now….they are writing a book and will sing a duo together.

How romantic.

Oprah is focused on the Rihanna abuse situation today, as am I, because this presents the opportunity to speak about this topic…one that is all too common in the history of those with eating disorders.

As it turns out, both Rihanna and Brown come from abusive homes. They are both still just kids themselves.

"When you grew up in an environment where there is abuse, it's more
acceptable to you," Winfrey said. "If you go back with a man who hits
you it's because you don't think you're worthy of being with a man who
won't
."

Unworthiness. How often have I heard that word from the eating disordered, when the direct opposite is
true?

The abuser is the one who is unworthily.
The abuser is unworthy of your love and affection.
The abuser is the one with the problem.
The abuser is the one that needs to punished.

At the core of it all; lack of self esteem. No one deserves this. I state this because several teens on Oprah were expressing this point of view stating "Rihanna started it."

Let's get this perfectly straight;

  1. No level of physical abuse is ok.
    None. Not a slap, a push or being held against your will.

  2. No level of verbal abuse is
    acceptable. If you have some one telling you that you are not good

    enough by shouting obscenities in your face….step back and look at
    them. Look at what a pathetic person they are for needing to degrade
    and control another person. Especially a person they "love."

  3. No woman, or man, deserves this treatment.
    Period. There is no action that causes another person to be violent,
    its a con game.

  4. If it happens once, it will
    happen again. This is a fact and you are kidding yourself if you
    believe in the abuser for one more moment.

From the world I come from, the image of Rihanna is shocking, and I mean totally, and completely shocking. I have never, ever even had a man, or woman for that matter, even try to lay a hand on me. Ever. Not my parents, a boyfriend, my husband, or any friend or family member. Nor have I ever witnessed such violence.This type of violent treatment is so totally out of my
realm of reality it just stuns me.

I want it to start stunning YOU.

You need to be stunned by any and all verbal and/or physical abuse in your life.

And you need to turn away from it to get your life back.

Either that, or you stay in this cycle of abuse and watch a small part of you fade away with each and every punch, slap, and cuss word.

You are not alone- reach out for help.

-mV
XOXOXO

————————————————–

RESOURCES:

If you need help or know someone who does, call the National Teen
Dating Abuse Helpline at 866-331-9474 or the National Domestic Violence
Hotline at 800-799-SAFE

Love is not abuse

Love is respect

Teen Dating Bill Of Rights

7 Warning Signs of Teen Abuse

Call for help: 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453 TTY.

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5 Responses to Rihanna: Maybe she deserved it.

  1. pippa says:

    Thankyou MamaV xoxoxo

  2. Melissa says:

    Thank you for drawing attention to this tragedy. I never understood why women stay in abusive relationships and hope I’d 1) never be in one and 2) be able to get out. I just can’t fathom what they go through, day in and day out. And the tie to EDs was really a good one. It is so much about self-esteem for so many. Thank you …

  3. Tiffany says:

    I come from an abusive background… and I think it is certifiably insane that she is back with him! I remember being beaten as a kid and that would just be unacceptable in a mate. There is and never was any comfort in from my abuse, ever. It was always wrong in my eyes, what is she thinking!

  4. Nats says:

    I am from an abusive background oo and I think that Rhianna is crazy to go back to him but then again, maybe she feels that someone half loving her is better than noone loving her at all?
    I bet she feels like she needs to be with someone to feel like A someone.
    I have pictures of myself looking extremely similar to this!! oh god

  5. Marilyn says:

    I completely agree with what you are saying… but I really wish you’d take down the picture. I wish all the websites would take down the picture. That’s a really personal, horrible photo to have plastered all over the internet, and I don’t think it’s respectful of her to have it up.
    However… other than that, well said! I am recently divorced, and while my ex-husband was never physically violent, he was very manipulative, controlling, and emotionally abusive. It is SO hard to leave, and I’m glad I got out of that relationship.

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