That's right, that's me – a certified lunatic.
At least that is the way the rest of the world makes me feel at times. Especially since just a few decades ago, one would be placed in a Sanitarium for the most common of illnesses, and Hollywood portrayed Prozac as a happy pill.
I compare my life as an anxiety freak to a "hamster on a
wheel." Heartbeat pumping, rushing off to nowhere, with an absolute inability to just
get off the damn thing and rest.
After 33 years of living like this, I had enough. I decided to try medication. A decision that turned out to be was one of the best
decisions I have ever, ever done for myself.
That decision literally
changed my life.
So much so, I have decided to share my story to encourage the many other anxiety suffers out there that there is hope;
At 33 years old, and a mother of two wonderful, amazing children, the wife of an incredible man, I was
lost in the fog. The fog of anxiety that pulls you away from the here and now, and sucks you into an imaginary world of worries, like an incessant tap-tap-tap on the shoulder. Day, after day, after day, it pounds on you, wearing you down until you give.
Anxiety not only exhausts you, it kills you. It kills your enthusiasm, your passion for life, and your ability to be in the moment. Eventually, anxiety can turn into physical pain, chronic pain that forces you to face the reality and the magnitude of the problem. For me, the chronic pain settled in my neck and shoulders causing chronic and debilitating headaches that sent me to Mayo Clinic to seek a solution.
I tried every single possible natural solution to anxiety available. First, the usual stuff – meditation, yoga, and talk therapy. Nothing touched it. I moved on to the less known approaches, such as light therapy, behavioral therapy workbooks, cortisone shots, acupuncture, and oriental herbal teas. Still the pain and suffering continued.
So, when I was 9 months pregnant with my son, I told my therapist to get the drugs ready because the minute that kid was out, the pills are going in! (no I didn't nurse)
Side effects are difficult for some, but I was lucky because mine were minimal (especially compared to how I was feeling) so the hardest part was waiting the weeks for the medicine to take effect. When they did, I felt reborn. Sounds dramatic, and kind of cheesy, but I swear to you I was finally, finally – me….
- Reading has become a huge part of my life.
- The moment. I discovered what it is to be, to live in the moment, I don't recall being capable of my entire adult life.
- Relationships improved because one with anxiety often make others feel anxious – which can be difficult for friends and family.
It's been 6 years now, and I've accepted the fact that I will likely be on medication for a lifetime. Regardless of possible unknown health impacts, I would rather live 10 more years with this peaceful mind, than 50 more years feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.
To the 38% of you on medication according to our poll on the right, I hope you will share your story as
To the 28% who have tried meds, but no longer take them, tell us about experience. I think it is very important to hear both sides of this story.
To the 15% considering medication, I hope this post has been helpful to you. This step is a very personal decision, and it is one you need to make on your own if and when you are ready.