Truth Hurts

Watching Caroline Rothstein got me rattled. Time for a mind dump;

Women have hated their bodies since the beginning of time. Fat is fear. Fat is grotesque. Most would choose death over fat.

 

Hate the fat people, they are contagious.

We chatter obsessively about food, shaming ourselves, rewarding our cravings, oblivious to the finely tuned in ears of our daughters, who see themselves our distorted mirrors.

Women suck at supporting one another.

We are fake in our sympathy because we can not escape ourselves. The green eyed monster clings on to our bloated stomachs and cellulite thighs, halting real relationships with a thinner friend. This I know, for I am a skinny bitch.

We all have a story

Diagnosis is individual, and sometimes flawed. Control, shame, and abuse rank high on the list of reasons for our destruction. Genes plague many, but for the growing group of others its pure and simple vanity, like it or not.

Anorexics… just eat already.

Bulimics don't purge…they vomit. Alone. In places and ways unimaginable.

Athletes…they are just following the rules. It's dedication.

EDNOS sufferers flounder somewhere in between hoping to qualify.

     

We are Weight-Watcher Lifers, Pro Ana Wannabes, Morbidly Obese Shut Ins, and True-Blue Anorexics. We have more in common than we care to admit. 

Parents are a saving grace or the nail in our coffin.

Mothers who would give their life for their child, wrongly blaming themselves for our condition. Others who have knowingly brainwashed since birth. 

Insurance companies fight to blame us, getting back to their paperwork as we die in silence. Mental disease doesn't count in this country you weak, pathetic soul. Just keep it hidden, hold it down, don't bother us with your nonsense. Bring back the good ole' sanitariums. Lock 'em up.

Only you can stop self hate chatter.

It is you who must seek the help you so desperately need. Only you can turn off the racket. But it is us who must unite.

I have escaped, but I still want to ride along with you. 

Absorbed in your misery to force different thoughts. Momentarily causing a pause. Hoping ideas will bring you the soul you have never known.

-mamaV

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12 Responses to Truth Hurts

  1. Araea says:

    WOW…this post at points feels so unbelievably harsh and then you realize the delicate truth of it. It confirms why we have eating disorders. It really is like a punch in the stomach. The part about women faking sympathy unfortunately, is SO true. Not all, but some women seem as if, they are afraid to help another woman because we are in constant competition with one another. MamaV good post, but a bit cruel.

  2. Caroline Rothstein says:

    This part “It is you who must seek the help you so desperately need. Only you can turn off the racket. But it is us who must unite.”
    That part. I love. Love, love, love. Along with the rest of the post as a whole.
    With love and thanks,
    Caroline

  3. anon says:

    mamaV,
    I agree with Caroline–the above quoted sentences are my favorite part of the blog too. I am, however, bothered by the overt generalizations and lack of depth (and sensitivity) you attribute to ED’s.
    For a more thorough and researched examination of the history of eating disorders (and its implications), anorexia in particular, I suggest reading Unbearable Weight by Susan Bordo. While I find Bordo’s assessment of anorexia lacking in some areas, I think she offers a much more cogent and sensitive perspective than “Anorexics … just eat already.”

  4. anon says:

    If interested, also see her essay “The Body and the Reproduction of Femininity.” I cannot recall if the essay is included in Unbearable Weight, though I think it is.

  5. Liz says:

    I think the “Anorexics … just eat already” line was sarcastic, was it not? I think mamaV was actually making a point of how misunderstood the disease is.
    At least that’s how I took it.

  6. kelly says:

    this is quite an insensitive post. i think you made some good points but because of the lack of respect in the tone i don’t think it came across too well.

  7. mamaV says:

    Hi Everyone: This is about my personal frustration and anger about societies view of EDs and Fat.
    I express my feelings through this type of writing, sarcasm is part of it. Here I am stating the grim, brutal perspective of what we are up against- discrimination, hatred, and lack of compassion hitting us from all sides it seems.
    Those who follow this blog and know me know these are clearly not my viewpoints.
    Please read this again with this in mind.
    Thanks,
    mamaV

  8. FreeEternally says:

    Keeping in mind the past perspectives of the blog really puts the tone into perspective.
    My personal favorite is Anorexics … just eat already. I hear that a lot. And when I honestly tell my well meaning friends that it is not that simple they look at me in amazement. I have a couple friends that are patient enough to sit down with me and help me talk through why I have stopped eating for the hundredth time.
    I think I put the phrase “Just eat already” in the same catagory as “Just snap out of it” for depression…or “Just calm down a little” to an anxiety attack…or “Just sit still” to someone experiencing mania.
    All are just products of ignorance…not generally of malice. I wish there was a way to teach people the truth about eating disorders…but also about mental disorders in general.

  9. Rachel says:

    FreeEternally, what a way to describe it. I’ve battled mental illness for 10 years in various forms.
    I wish, too, that there were a way to teach people the truth about mental illness. Unfortunately, it’s one of those things that unless you’ve been down that road, it’s very, very difficult to understand.

  10. anon says:

    mamaV,
    Got it. I obviously do not follow your blog very often, nor do I know you. Perhaps that explains why your sarcasm read more like an affirmation.
    Btw, while I do not agree with several points you make in various posts (to be quite honest), I do commend your efforts and commitment to advocating for people struggling with ED’s.

  11. mamaV says:

    Hi Anon: Thanks for your honesty- keep posting your comments, the whole point of a blog is to encourage opinions. I love hearing others perspective, and I think its always imporant to reflect on what is said…and know you always have the right to change your mind or retract statements if you care to. As hard as it is to believe I have done my share of retracting 😉
    mamaV

  12. mamaV says:

    Hi Rachel: I have been pondering posting more about mental illness. I am in your same boat, struggling with anxiety for my entire life.
    I want to encourage you and others to be open about your issues, not afraid what people think…but that is easy to say and hard to do right?
    Take care, and keep your eyes out for posts on this topic.
    mamaV

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