As women, we fantasize about being someone else.
If only we could be perfect chick, with the ideal bod. The one that makes it all look effortless. You love her and hate her at the same time….and would like nothing more than to be her.
It’s called Perfection Projection. And its total B.S. It will destroy you, if it has not already.
"The habit of comparing ourselves mercilessly to others first forms at this age, and it proves central to the development and continuation of eating disorders and eating-disordered behavior," suggests Courtney Martin in Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters.
Are you like Gina? The willing subject of Martin’s "girl talk" research, who finds herself stating "Sure, she has a nice body. She doesn’t have to worry. It makes me feel self conscience standing next to her."
Well, I got news for you- I was that perfect girl. And it sucked, bigtime.
I was the one everyone hated standing next to. As I entered a room, I was looked up and down by every jealous female, feeling the mean spirited eyes of judgment through their fake smiles, all the while hearing their whispers; "She’s the model. She thinks she’s hot shit. She isn’t that pretty,"
All of it sucked. But more importantly, I never felt perfect. I never had less self esteem than when I was a model. Those six years of my life were the most trying on my self esteem and confidence, which got so low I never thought I would get my groove back.
I dressed down in baseball hats and no makeup for years. I hid my true self for the sake of others insecurities. Perhaps the saddest part is I know why I did it, and I am not sure I would change a thing. I wanted others to be comfortable with me. I didn’t want to stand out in a crowd, in fact after my modeling hell ride, I wanted to fade into oblivion.
We need compassion. True compassion for others. True understanding that there is no perfect, and a commitment to stop striving for it.
If you are longing to be another, you need to look yourself in the mirror today and ask why? Why are you so unhappy with what god gave you that you waste your time absorbed in self comparison.
Your issue is much deeper than your thinner, prettier friend that you wish you could push away from standing by your side.
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