I wish i could tell the therapists and the friends and other family members that this is not good loosing a whole person in six months is NOT something you should congratulate me on. Me being able to fit into sizes you can’t does not mean that you should express envy. Do not tell me how great i look and if i lost that last five pounds i could be a model. Don’t tell me this after you put down me being a plus sized model. Definately don’t tell me this when i have lost a ton of weight unhealthily and have excess skin hanging off my arms, tummy, thighs. Don’t tell me i look good, or point out any bones that may be showing. Don’t remark on my body at all. Because even with the doctors telling me that i am unhealthy and that my starve and eat cycle are killing me i still don’t think i’m thin enough. So i definately don’t want to hear how ‘thin’ i’m getting when i know i’m still in the double digit pant sizes.

And i wish i could tell myself to knock it the heck off- i always swore when i reached my ‘goal’ i would stop and be happy. But i reached it and succeeded it and am still not happy, and still feel fat.
Fat sucks but death sucks worse…