A grisly year in pictures

As 2007 comes to a close, I thought we would like to revisit this year in dreaded pictures. These are great, bad examples girls. Hold them up as what you are determined not to be.

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Supermodel weighing in at under 100 pounds, standing 5’9, hailed a frickin hero.

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Former model dead in dear friends arms. A 60 pound grown woman and no one blinks.

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No words.

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Top Model Barbie. And we thought regular old barbie was too skinny.

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Mother, friend, doctor…taken from rising star son by a fat sucking surgeon. If only she would have known how truly beautiful she was.

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Spine of anorexic mannequin whispers to you “size zero.”

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Teeny Vogue promotes toothpick legs driving home thinspiration message to teenage girls worldwide.

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Size 0 pills are all the rage.

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Jennifer Hewlett’s ass is evaluated by the world.

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Diabetics discover no shots = no fat.

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Anorexic child paraded on American TV for our viewing pleasure.

RETRACTION AUGUST 16, 2008

I received a heartfelt message from the mother of the child above, she said the following:

We did not take pleasure having to go on our local news to try to raise money for our daughters treatment when insurance turned us down.  We did the only thing we could think of ,which was to bring to light the fact that our state insurance would not pay for a 10 year old to go into treatment because it was out of state. We told our story , and because we came forward ,the treatment center  was willing to help us. I would not have talked openly about our story otherwise. If I had to do it again I would , because it not only helped us but through my journey I have met other families in our situation.   I am all for the fact that you want to bring ED to light and show how bad they are , but we really don’t like the
 fact that it sounds like we took pleasure in going public, because we didn’t. We have had to battle this illness for 2 years now and it is the hardest thing our family has ever had to go through.  I just wish that you would think about what the families might think when they see what you put about their child on your site.

RESPONSE FROM MAMAV:

Thank you for reaching out to me and explaining your story. I will post a follow up on your daughter and revise the caption as you have requested. How is your daughter doing? Have you been able get all the help you need?
 
My blog is sharp and cutting. I feel it needs to be to express the point of desparation we are in with this disease and culture. I do not intend to hurt individuals such and yourself, and for that I sincerely apologize for hurting you and your family. You have been through enough already. I hope you will accept my sincere apology.

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Size 8 is the new full size according to ANTM. Tyra also manages to make old horrifying (notice reflection in mirror).

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Guys join in the anorexic fun.

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Pro Ana Halloween costume makes its debut. Add some fake jugs and we are in for some fun.

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Supermodel Gemma Ward put to shame for her chubby appearance.

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Anorexic poses for billboard in Italy, causing nothing more than a blip on the fashionista radar.

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Ugly Betty beautified and skinnyfied on Glamour.

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Mum kisses her little girl goodbye as she sends the 12 year old to the wolves.

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Young woman holds coins and rings in her collarbones and shouts to mamaV “it was a joke!” (still don’t get it).

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Spooky models remind girls far and wide runway modeling is not for the faint of heart.

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Tunsdall kicks ass when she is told she is “too old to be a rockstar” at 26 years of age.

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Faith Hill’s imperfections gleefully brushed away for her adoring fans.

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“Skinny bitches” continue to shoot odd pictures of themselves, in various awkward poses and launch them to cyberspace with total disregard of conseqence.

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Gil falls silent. But rumor has it she is still with us.

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Hollywood knob Perez Hilton makes fun of mental illness and is applauded for his efforts.

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Beauty lives on through murder and mayhem, thanks to Tyra Banks deeming this image “fierce!”

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The notion of aging gracefully disapears from society.

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New Beauty magazine offers every possible way to nip, tuck, and butcher your god given body.

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MamaV blows the dust off her 1987 Vogue to remind us where we have been.

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We are all still here. We are trying and we are hopeful.

-mamaV

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132 Responses to A grisly year in pictures

  1. Nats says:

    Ok this actually made me cry!!

    I hope we hear from Gil soon

  2. Mrs B says:

    Great post, Mama V.

  3. Hillary says:

    I second Nats comment

  4. Michelle says:

    wait, Gil didn’t pass away? Maybe I’m a little confused.

  5. Josie says:

    What a post….

    I take issue with “total disregard of conseqence” when it comes to skinny people posting their photos online. Remind me, what’s wrong with a person putting their photos online? You do it…

  6. Vanessa says:

    mamaVISION wants to be faaamous. thats why she splashes her own face everywhere but acts like for other people it’s some huge deal. that “shades” picture is more embarassing than most any of the thinsperation pics and she survived it’s being public, somehow.

  7. Shana says:

    wow. very powerful post…

  8. Amber/vanity900/cult66623 says:

    The girl with coins in her collar bones, she was flexing to make pockets of the. she isn’t pro ana in any way and probably didn’t know what pro ana way until she saw the pic on the site i saw both of her vids about this. she has normal collar bones and shes sweet i dont want people dragging her into pro ana forms becasue they think thats how her chest normally looks.

  9. Hayley says:

    Wow- these sort of photos have brought back memories for me, well not quiet memories because to be honest i still do look at these sort of photos and think, i want to be that thin, but not so bad as i used to be.
    Looking at these pictures has brought me to tears, i feel stupid and pathetic for even writing this comment because i know people are going to judge me for wanting to still be that thin, but i dont want to hide my feelings like i have always done over the years.

  10. vivix says:

    um…
    some pictures ….. made me think..
    i have n ED, is really frustrating
    ——————————————
    great page… very interesting..
    well
    cya.

  11. mamavision says:

    A follow up on the girl with the collarbones picture. I find it amazing how her supporters and friends refuse to believe she is pro ana, especially when she has a sit filled with thinspo pics, I don’t get it.

    She went off on a tangent when I posted this picture, recording a video directed to me angry that it was just a “joke.”

    Not a joke.
    Not funny.
    Yes proana. Pull your damn thinspo site down, and then I will take you seriously.

    End of this conversation for the year.
    -mamaV

  12. mamavision says:

    Hi Hayley: You will not be judged, everyone is here for the same reason.

    You know, I believe there is a natural inclination to want to be thin. It’s when this desire grows to encompass your life that its a problem.

    Also, when you view images of actual anorexic girls (like the one above in her underwear, topless, against the white background), do you see this as the body you would like to have? In my view, I would certainly not judge you honey, I would though want you to keep reading so you understand that those feelings and desires are not “normal or healthy.”

    Does this make sense?
    -mamaV

  13. mamavision says:

    Hi Michelle: To my knowledge Gil has not passed away, but she is still in very critical condition. She stopped corresponding over the summer, and I figure she will come back if and when she is up to it.

    In the meantime, I receive emails from her sister and other web friends that tell me her latest condition. She is no better, no worse, and still needs our prayers.

    -mamaV
    XOXO

  14. wish says:

    i have been coming onto mamavision for about six months now, mostly just to read the comments and the debates between mamav and vanessa. I never really thought to much about the effects i felt upon reaching a site that is downing in pro-ana and thinspo but has these pictures continuously posted. By mamav posting pics of thinspo to supposedly make aware the masses of the horrors of thinspo all you are doing is making these pictures more visible. I quite going to pro-ana pages because viewing these pictures makes me feel like a failure because i will never become that skinny. So instead of me going to a blatant pro ana site i come to one that is supposed to encourage me to heal and instead shows me the very images that i am trying to avoid. I come here to find other people who are in recovery or such and i find pictures that make me want to go continue with me ED behaviors so that maybe one day i will be made famous as a bad example on mamavs site.

  15. wish says:

    sorry for all of the spelling errors i am typing way too fast.
    it has been an interesting year in photos but maybe next year you can find pictures of healthy girls to show rather then pro ana pics that trigger us more.

  16. anon says:

    Am I the only person who notices how much of a troll Vanessa is? If she’s not “challenging” (or is it whining?) MamaV, she’s doing everything she possibly can to turn the post into a discussion that centers on herself. Most of the teenagers who participate in this forum are lightyears ahead of her when it comes to discussion forum decorum.

    Anyway, my point is that it gets tiring. I know of at least half a dozen people who write on xanga that would love to add to the discussion but decline in order to avoid interaction with the malicious, narcissistic force that is Vanessa.

    Keep posting MV-it’s not your intentions that people should be worried about. But if they have any doubts, I’d urge them to check out Vanessa’s blog, which confirms that she’s little more than an attention whore who hates that you’re right.

  17. kjosie says:

    MamaV – you are mistaken when you think this woman http://mamavision.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/evaemaciated7cj-406×678.jpg is anorexic. She’s a model and her photo has been photoshopped to make her emaciated. There’s a guy who emaciates women as a hobby, and quite a few of his photoshopped pictures end up as thinspiration.

  18. Hayley says:

    Mama V-

    Yes that makes a lot of sense to me, i dont thinks its a person in my head that is my idol i think its a made up idol who i would like to be and how i would like to be. its weird, but i must say that those photos do kind of make me want to be thin, i suppose because of all the years of being told i was fat and ugly kind of made me want to be so thin so they can not call me FAT at all, this was not the whole reason of me getting anorexia and bullima, it was mostly from a death in the family and from my mum, who dieted lots and i suppose i kind of copied and wanted to have her self control and be like her, we were kind of in compettion, and that was when i was 10, i am now 14 and have been in recovery so many times i have lost count, but this time i really truly want to recover so badly.

    Hayley xx

  19. Hayley says:

    omg kjosie- i thought that picture of the model looked a bit fake, becuase of her face, its wasent as thin as some of the other pictures, that guy who does this is so sick. how can he get away with it- and why would he want to do this?

  20. Vanessa says:

    dude i knew that picture didn’t look right! her face doesn’t look anorexic at all, but her body does. good catch, josie!

  21. twice says:

    Teeny Vogue: the girl’s legs have been photoshoped. I wonder if any of her body parts a photoshopped. Man we live in a world full of fakeness and sadness.

  22. Lily says:

    Confused about this post- confused about this whole site. Those pictures were major triggers for me. Same time, Mv is making a point with them and I do believe her goal is ultimately a positive one. Just not sure if its the right way of going about it.

    Anon, you are out of line with your post
    “she’s little more than an attention whore who hates that you’re right”. To see you post such a personal attack against a person you don’t even know shocked me and says far more about you than any others on this site.

    I’ve said this before, the sensational way Mv writes, reads, to me, as slightly mocking. Why do you write this way about such a serious topic MamaV?

    Lily xx

  23. Lily says:

    In saying that, I don’t agree with Vanessa and Josie’s point about people posting their pic’s. I know people have the right to post them- I just that, if at all possible, a certain level of personal responsibility needed.

    We have the ‘right’ to post pictures of ourselves at low weights. We have the ‘right’ to post up tips on hiding anorexia/bulimia from others, or tips on purging. But, God, I think some awareness is needed of what these tips and pictures are used for. Do people not realise that they are perpetuating eating disorders in others????
    I, for one, could not live with myself if I was involved in making another’s eating disorder worse in such an obvious manner.

    I believe the same about people who put themselves in the limelight- people (eg. Keira Knightley) walking around with clearly anorexic frames and sending the message to women and young girls that it is not only acceptable to damage your body through self-starvation- but, in fact, it is desirable.

    Lily xx
    I only hope they have no awareness of the potential harm they are doing.

  24. vive42 says:

    lily,

    i agree with you totally on people who are hardcore pro-ana and post pics deliberately to trigger others and encourage other people to get an eating disorder or to get worse in their eating disorder… the thing is i feel those people are a tiny tiny minority of people associated with pro-ana. most people post pics because they want to be reassured they aren’t fat or because everyone else is posting them, and most of the thinspo images werent posted deliberately to be thinspo but were taken and used that way by someone else.

    and i have mixed feelings about all that. in todays world, people post pictures of themselves online. i’m not sure i understand why anorexics doing what everyone else is doing should be singled out. many many more people post pictures of themselves drunk/partying and it’s very easy to see why that isn’t a good idea for the exact same reasons- it glorifies drinking and irresponsible behavior and if the pics get around to a future employer or someone who you want to make a good impression on it can have bad consequences.

    so, is it just a matter of adjusting as a society to the new reality of people putting their private selves online? or is it something dire that we must stop and turn back at all costs? time will tell i guess but i suspect it might just be the way things work nowadays.

  25. kjosie says:

    Lily – i’m seconding Vanessa on the photos thing. A lot of the “thinspo” photos we see are just normal people, who just happen to be thin. I used to put up photos of myself on my blog and stuff which really helped with accepting my body, and let people know there was a person behind my username. Also you know how anorexics tend to see themselves as fat… well if they’re posting their pics it would never occur to them that it would be triggering for others.

  26. kjosie says:

    Vanessa and Hayley – there was a site where most of his work was shown, with the before and after pictures. Unfortunately i lost the link a few months ago so i can’t show you.
    With “thinspo”, just thesame as magazine images, never take what you see at face value – you never know what’s been done to them!

  27. ibiteback says:

    I still don’t get how pictures of yourself on a proana site would result in not getting a job. Your employer should be worried first about your current health which you would not have to disclose. You would be protected against discrimination related to disease. And people should just get over that people make mistakes when they are young (and old). If you have recovered by the time you are applying for the job than bringing back the pictures would be triggering, and the pictures should be viewed as part of your illness not your inability to do a job.

  28. Abby says:

    ibiteback – I don’t think it had so much to do with where the picture was posted or the fact she had an eating disorder, but more to do with what the girl was wearing in the picture. Or perhaps she was doing something in it that would reflect poorly on the company (like that teacher who was fired for having pictures of her drinking in facebook, which is completely insane on the part of the school). However I don’t think people should be fired for pictures online. It’s not like the older generations didn’t do things they regret, it’s just that things on the internet are permanent, and unfortunately we’re the first generation to really have to deal with this fact. I know I’ve found a picture of myself on a thinspo site and it was disturbing. Luckily I kept my face out of it, but still.
    If it turns out they didn’t hire her because of the disorder, then by all means she should sue the pants off of them.

  29. kjosie says:

    ibiteback and Abby – mamaV didn’t actually say that the girl didn’t get offered a job because her photo was on a thinspo site, or that she was even anorexic, she just said it was because she was in a bikini.
    So basically, mamaV is saying ANY photo posted online should be with caution because it could come back to haunt you later. And she’s saying that if you’re thin then you should definitely not post your photos online because your photos might end up on a thinspo/pro-ed site.
    Both stupid?

  30. Amber/vanity900/cult66623 says:

    Collar Bone Girl has a pro ana site? oh…i didnt know that! sorry! (all i refrenced from was the youtube vid where she said she isnt)

  31. Deanna says:

    Just a quick note: the first pic from America’s Next Top Model, first, it was photoshopped, it was supposed to be the same girl in both parts of the photo; and second, the photo was to show the effects of years of damage from smoking, nothing at all about age.
    At least if you’re going to post the pics, try to make sure they’re legit first.
    Just my two cents.

    Deanna

  32. Limafan says:

    Besides the thinspo pics, mytinywrist sounds pretty pro ana to me, who would use a screen name like that who is not pro ana? Umm No one!

  33. Mrs B says:

    Sorry,
    I happen to be an HR Manager. I have Senior Level Certification and am Master’s degreed. I have worked in the profession for over 20 years. It would not be illegal to reconsider a hiring decision upon finding someone’s pro-ana pics on line.

    When I choose not to hire someone, it is generally based on the fact that I have found someone else who is better qualified. If I found a candidate’s picture on a pornographic site, or found a candidate engaging in illegal behavior, I would MAKE sure that I found a better qualified candidate. There is ALWAYS a better qualified candidate.

    If I found a candidate endorsing pro-ana or pro-mia behaviors, likewise, I would make sure that I kept looking for a better candidate. Nobody would be able to prove discrimination on my part, because I would have hired a better candidate.

    What I CAN’T do, is fire someone for a mental illness that they claim as a disability. But if I discover the mental illness during the hiring process, there is no law that says I have to hire them. I just can’t discriminate against them. Finding a better qualified candidate is not discrimination under the law.

  34. ibiteback says:

    Mrs. B-
    I think someone can be “pro-ana” and still be a really good at their jobs.
    And so if someone has a mental illness that automatically means there is a” better candidate”? That is discrimination. People with mental illnesses can still be high-functioning individuals who can do a job well.

  35. Mrs B says:

    If someone has such poor judgement as to post pro-ana pictures, I consider their judgement suspect. I would find a better candidate. I don’t care how good you are, there is always someone else better. That is not discrimination and the law would not define it as such. I would never acknowledge that I ruled someone out because of mental illness. I would find someone else better. I recommend that people with mental illness not broadcast it.

  36. Anonymous says:

    Not acknowledging it is not the same as not doing it. If you knew someone had mental illness (that did not prevent her/him from doing her job), and you did not hire that person for that reason, you are discriminating, whether or not you could be legally held responsible. Going out of your way to find a better candidate is not the same as having two already there and choosing the better one. You may feel differently if it happened to you or someone you love, being denied for a job based on a mental (or physical) illness unrelated to the job. (I am not just speaking of the pro-ana picture posting issue, since you generalized to mental illness.)

  37. Mrs B says:

    I am telling you girls the hard truth. If you think that MOST hiring managers would not try to find someone else, you are wrong. I have an anorexic/bulimic daughter. She is sick. She is also really really smart and needs to understand that she needs to work on her illness with her professionals and her family and not spread pictures of her illness out the there for the world to see.
    Mental illness causes a significant amount of absenteeism. If an employer doesn’t have to deal with it, they won’t. Whether it’s my daughter or someone else’s. It is unreasonable to expect otherwise. Mental illness DOES prevent people from doing their job. They have significantly more absence than others.

  38. Aftershock says:

    Hey! Props to you for providing a constant source of thinspiration for all the pro-anas out there:

    http://community.livejournal.com/proanorexia/62504134.html

  39. Mikhail/happyyet says:

    Can you please stop using the girl’s picture with the t-shirt. She asked you before to stop using it when you said if they came to you and asked and actually suffered from a mental disorder. On her behalf she’d probaly want you to remove it.

  40. Rachel says:

    Mrs B~>

    That is exactly why I keep mum on my mental illness(es). That sort of thing is none of my employer’s god-damned business!!! I am a high-functioning individual and i function rather well in a work atmosphere. I keep my issues out of the workplace, bottom line. If I have worked at a place for, say, a year and grown comfortable enough with those around me to disclose this information, then I do so with extreme caution. Fortunately enough, my mental illnesses turn out to be quite useful quirks in the workplace that end up increasing my productivity and creativity. I am still very private both online and in real life, using pseudonyms and never, ever posting pictures in compromising situations. Since I am a high-functioning individual and my mental illnesses happen to increase the creativity and productivity, I keep mum on it. I do not need discriminatory bias based on something that I can handle quite well on my own, thankyouverymuch.

    MamaV~>

    A grisly year in pictures indeed. I think it’s time for some positive body imaging for everybody. I also think that it’s time to murder the frickin’ designers who design these impossible rags that look good on no one but the anorexic mannequins. I hate shopping for that very reason.

    I hope that Gil is okay, and may the light guide her out of this hell.

  41. kjosie says:

    Aftershock –
    that was exactly my thought when i saw that yesterday. Vanessa is completely right.

    Mrs B –
    almost no-one posts their photos online with the intention of putting them on a thinspiration website. MamaV is mistaken when she believes that. Photos on thinspiration sites are collected from all over the place, and the pictures are of anyone, anorexic or not, with their knowledge or not.
    If your daughter has myspace or facebook, would you dissaprove of her putting her photos there for her friends to see? Should she not put photos of herself up just because she’s anorexic and thin? If someone who is thin puts their photos online they are in danger of their photos being “stolen” to go on thinspiration sites. It’s happened to mamaV, yet she isn’t worried about her job prospects!

    You are discriminating against those with mental illness, whether you’re hiding it or not. I find it terribly sad. I’ve been in psychiatric care for 4 years and i’ve many friends who are too, and the prospect of work (or any other interaction with the “normal” world) is terrifying, because it’s guaranteed that we will experience discrimination. It’s such a serious issue, and ranges from the very small to the very big. My mum DIED in part to mental health discrimination in healthcare, and i nearly did.
    I might come back and write more, but i’m too upset and wound up right now…

  42. Mrs B says:

    Girls,
    It is a fact of life that many companies now check for Facebook and MySpace entries. Just keep it in mind before you bare all of your frailties on line. Just because someone had a “thin” picture on their Facebook wouldn’t mean that someone wouldn’t hire them. But if someone were to post their semi-nude anorexic picture with rings sitting in their collarbones and lots of information about themself and their distorted thoughts…Big red flag. And there are pro-ana sites and YouTube sites with young women doing just that. Just like if they posted pics of themselves binge drinking and discussing outrageous partying…also a big red flag.

    This quote is from a mental health organization website:

    ‘Research conducted by the mental Health America show that the mental problems spill- over to their professional life and ebb the job performance. It also cost the US government a loss of $150 billion in lost productivity.’

    Once an employer has hired someone with a mental health issue, they are covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act. But they don’t have to hire them to begin with.

    My recommendation: work hard with your therapy, keep your journals private, and keep disturbing or semi-naked pictures of yourself off of the internet.

  43. Vanessa says:

    mrs b – your advice starts with an erroneous presupposition. ie. that people in the depths of an active phase of their eating disorder are rational and optimistic enough to be capable of following it.

    when my eating disorder is really bad i don’t particularly care if i live or die, i don’t believe i have a future worth caring about, and i’m not always likely to sit down and think through the consequences of my actions. not because, like you and mamaV apparently believe, people with eating disorders are selfish overly pessimistic attention-seekers but because the combination of mental illness and starvation causes changes to a person’s cognitive functioning and emotional stability.

    in other words, as i always say, ED =/= good brain health.

  44. kjosie says:

    Mrs B –
    Vanessa is completely right. Anorexics have much bigger worries than their career prospects!
    IF mamaV said “be careful posting your photos and thoughts online because they might effect your job prospects” then that would be fine, especially because the example she used was of a girl who had a photo online of her in a bikini.
    It’s that she’s intentionally picking on thinspiration photos which are very rarely placed there by the person themselves that’s not right!

    And just because mental health discrimination exists, doesn’t mean that it’s right. It’s sick.

  45. Anonymous says:

    Sorry, I have mental illness, in a few forms, and I am one of the most productive staff members with very few sick days–greatly less than average. A large number of Americans have it. Depression affects up to 1 in 3 women if not more. Do you discriminate against employees with children? I would imagine they would miss much more time than those without. In any case, many people with mental illness are conscientious, hard-working, and driven. Whether or not many employers would do it, and I never doubted that they would not, does not diminish your own culpability in discrimination. And with all due respect, I am not your girl. I am an adult woman with a MA degree.

  46. ibiteback says:

    I agree with Anonymous above. Mrs. B, it just seems that you see people with mental illnesses as lower people hence, “there is always someone better.” That is seeing only their mental illness not them, the person, who could be driven and creative but you would never see that all you would see is their disease. (And even though I am still technichally a girl, if I was an adult women I would find it offensive if someone called me a girl, you seem to talk down to people you find lower that yourself)

  47. alien says:

    I hear you Mrs B!
    Though especially anorectics have this ability be over effective also professionally, I too consider all effects of mental illness (also the seemingly positive ones) as a weakness, and think that one who cannot admit the previous, has not yet come to terms with her illness, but tries to convince herself that the sick version of her is, not only as good, but better than the healthy version of her – not comprehending that no healthy human being (free of desire to take advantage of someone vulnerable) will agree with her.

  48. kjosie says:

    Alien –
    a person seeing the plus-points of her illness is someone who is coping well and has come to terms with her illness. Because, really, what’s the point in dwelling on all the negatives?

    Also, when talking in terms of “mental illness” in this case, we can’t just focus on eating disorders. It’s not very common for a person with an ED to have just an ED, and they tend to have multiple mental health issues (depression, self-harm, anxiety disorders and personality disorders being common co-existing issues).
    I just thought i’d point that out because it’s very easy to forget that it’s not as simple as it seems.

  49. RM says:

    Powerful post indeed, but i still dont feel that i do not need to lose more weight. i am not pro-ana, or anorexic in any way, im pretty much curvy. I get it, there’s this hype about being thin that thin somehow equates to beauty and i agree that these people plastered in this entry have taken it way to far. I dont understand why…….. but even after reading your entry, i STILL feel FAT, i STILL feel like i need to lose more weight, i STILL feel that if i do, everything will be better… silly huh? even after seeing ribs and death, i still dont understand why, but i am just not enlightened enough to stop trying to lose weight. its just that people judge you by your waist line or the clothes you wear (and being fashionable and curvy sometimes doesnt fit ie. just because im size XL in my country, i cant seem to buy clothes that i reaaaalllyyy like! like those clothes just dont seem to come in my size!) and sometimes i feel losing weight might just help me wear those clothes i want to wear. ALSO, why are plus size clothing sooo much more expensive than normal clothing? i get soo jealous of those skinny girls that fit in anything, look good in anything at half the price! i am just sick and tired of people saying… oohhh hey, put on some weight havent ya? (when ive actually been dieting and exercising to high heaven). its like thats the only thing they notice… thats the only thing you are judged upon… not how smart, not how creative, not how hardworking you are… but how you are not slender and beautiful.. i might be surrounded by shallow minded people (but most people are the same).. i know i have to change myself..”love” myself. that the problem is not people, its me (bla bla bla bla) heard the story before… but somehow it isnt working….plus loving thyself doesnt pop up overnight……..advice?

  50. alien says:

    kjosie, I personally want to still think that eating disorder is not comparable to invalidity, something you need to submit to, but something that yes, needs a hellish fight to win, but can be won. If the term “come to terms” means only submitting to definitiveness, then I used it wrong.
    This blog is about eating disorders, (not about mental problems in general) and I agree that eating disorders arise many other mental problems (in my case ocd), but all those arose as side effects of an eating disorder usually heal when the eating disorder is cured. Negativeness is not what I’m preaching here, but I do wish that a person who falls in a muddy ditch is negative enough to realize it’s worth trying to get up! If I had the privilege to choose what all the English terms meant, “come to terms with an eating disorder” (and all the mental problems arose from it) would mean hating the illness (the stinky mud on your face) more than anything in this world. That hate is my engine in the long road of recovery.

  51. echo says:

    whoah… Those thinspo pics on the livejournal… Can somebody request on my behalf that they either remove the mannequin picture or link it to http://overmedicated.wordpress.com? I guess better my photography get misused as thinspo than my body, but that pisses me off. Oh man, how many girls saw that post, ignored the text, and just saved it as a part of their thinspo? How many collections have I now contributed to??? It’s just been a bad night even before that. (MamaV, just so you know, your usage of it was fine. Your intention is good.)

  52. kjosie says:

    alien –
    i’m recovered from my eating disorder and i agree that with an eating disorder there is point in fighting it, and not submitting to it, when a person is ready. However with other mental illnesses it’s different, and though mamaV is focusing on EDs, Mrs B appears to be talking about mental illness in general.
    A lot of people with EDs had mental health issues before their ED arose, and many will continue after overcoming their ED (if they do). In my case i’ve got a complex anxiety disorder, a mood disorder and self-harm and paranoid delusions which accompany them. Those are longterm conditions which i have to “come to terms with”, as well as work through. And therefore i don’t appreciate blatant mental health discrimination when it’s not one’s fault that they’re ill. More of my objection to Mrs B’s attitude is that once there’s a little bit of discrimination (like Mrs Bs example) it makes way for bigger forms of discrimination, which in examples i’ve experienced can be lethal (if you want the story behind this, feel free to ask).

    Echo –
    I’ll ask the mod to delete the post.

  53. Mrs. B says:

    I am simply saying that the MySpace and Facebook generation need to beware that it is not an employer’s first obligation to be understanding or sympathetic or informed about your well-being. Their first obligation is to run a business. If you personally blog or post a running diary of your life that focuses on frailty, it has the possibility of causing you additional harm. I am sure that there are many highly productive people with mental illness, including ED’s…..just as my husband, a juvenile diabetic, has been a responsible physician for 25 years despite his PHYSICAL disease. But he doesn’t post pictures on the web of his bouts with low blood sugar or blog about his struggles with the progression of the disease…including the severe chronic depression that goes along with it.

  54. Hillary says:

    RM-
    I think you’re beautiful.

  55. kjosie says:

    Mrs B –
    point taken.
    The chances of it happening are so slim though, especially because noone tends to use their real names alongside their photos and blogs. Stuff online is kept as secret as it is in real life (okay, that a generalisation, because i’m the exception to that the rule, having my ED history mentioned in a national newspaper and all that. But i don’t care).

  56. Anonymous says:

    It isn’t all you said, though the rest of what you said (discrimination) is why I do not post pictures of myself and am cautious about my identity. And if your husband chose to blog about his severe diabetes and depression, it could also be seen as a positive step for himself and for others with the disease rather than as a weakness. You can choose the perspective you take of a person and his or her struggles, and everyone else is doing it too has not been a good enough excuse for children and isn’t for adults, either. Frankly, employers got along before they had myspaces and facebooks to spy on, and it doesn’t speak highly to the confidence they have in HR employees hiring abilities if spying is necessary. Maybe it is not considered spying, but having a facebook or a myspace isn’t a crime or even unusual. Employers poking into personal space to me is not that different than cruising by your home to see how you are with upkeep and your sense of style and taste.

  57. A'tuin says:

    Oh, goddess, why? There is an entire industry that endangers its employees, and nothing is done. Surely there is someone in the government that can place restrictions (“You have to at least size blah to model”). OSHA?

  58. Angelique says:

    MamaV:

    Where is Ms. Amy Winehouse? I definitely feel she deserves placement with all the others. She’s the epitome of someone who is in desperate need of intervention, but is instead tortured by papparazzi and a public that figuratively (no pun intended) chants for blood and gore.

    Sometimes, it feels as if our society ENJOYS parading anorexics and bulimics around so we can take some perverse pleasure in their torment. Odd. Humans are odd.

    I applaud you for tackling this subject — it’s one that affects so many, worldwide.

  59. Amber/vanity900/cult66623 says:

    Angelique-

    Amy isn’t anorexic, shes just addicted to alot of drugs.

  60. kjosie says:

    Amber –
    actually, Amy and her father have spoken out about anorexia and bulimia.

    Angelique –
    our society is obsessed with anorexia. Look at anorexia and compulsive overeating disorder – anorexia gets far more interest, even though COED is much more common. If you read real life stories in magazines and they cover an ED, it will almost always be anorexia. MamaV keeps returning to anorexia over and over again, even though she knows very little about it, and the other eating disorders are more prominant. It’s fascinating to us all, sadly.
    Also sad is that “intervention” doesn’t occur really – not the the UK anyway. Loved ones can worry all they like, but ultimately unstable people are out there in the world, fending for themselves. I’ve attempted suicide twice in the last 3 months, and i’ve only seen a psychiatrist once. We’d like to think that when we get to our low points someone will swoop in and save us, but unfortunately it doesn’t happen.
    And then you suggest focusing on Amy Winehouse…but why not Britney? Britney has almost the same issues as Amy. The big different is Britney has gained weight whilst Amy has lost weight. And our sick media circus is practically applauding Amy, watching her in fascination, whilst criticising Britney for her “fall from grace”.
    And really, with the media criticising Amy enough, isn’t it unfair that mamaV should bring even MORE attention to her too?

    Echo –
    Though the mod will delete the post if i say so (which i will), he does point out that surely it’s the mannequin-makers fault that it looks like thinspo, not yours?

  61. Mrs. B says:

    Anonymous. No offense. A Facebook or MySpace is not a personal space. It is the WORLDWIDE WEB. And you need to stop being so pollyanna-ish. Employers are ASKING their HR people to review MySpace and Facebook. Some are even contracting third party investigators who seek out public displays of private behaviors. It isn’t really any different than traditional background checks or reference checks. If someone chooses to disclose information about themselves publicly, so be it. But they live with the consequences.

    It is not discrimination to rule out candidates prior to hiring them based on information they voluntarily disclose.

    And if you think that there are not tons of people out there who have blogged about their personal lives and habits – with complete names and pictures in a way that would raise eyebrows – you are also sadly mistaken. The internet generation suffers from a serious lack of concern for their own personal privacy. These conversations are best kept to therapists and other support team members, such as families and groups….places where confidentiality is valued. The internet is just not the place.

  62. Anonymous says:

    Mrs B–

    I have never claimed to be so naive as to believe these things do not occur. In fact, I have said that due to people like you doing what you do, I protect myself from that. I am not stupid, and I realize that myspace is accessible. I simply find it as disturbing for you to seek out people on the internet as if your employer asked you to drive by their house to see how they live. I believe in a separation between work and personal life. Have I ever claimed you are doing anything illegal? No. Discrimination is not just a legal term. I don’t think you and I are going anywhere with this, so I am done.

    If everyone jumped off of a bridge, would you,

    Pollyanna

  63. Sarah says:

    mamaVISION, keep up the good work.

    Vanessa, you are pathetic and I feel sorry for you. You need to see a mental health professional instead of badgering a website because the message it gives out is offensive to your sensibilities. Or maybe you are just mad because it’s truthful?

  64. Rachel says:

    Mrs. B:

    I’m going to reiterate that I keep my status private on social networking sites like Facebook. While I think it’s kind of neat, I do keep in mind that this IS the world wide web, and corporations DO snoop around in various places. My private thoughts are my own, and nobody else’s. Perhaps it’s because I’m a teeny bit older than the typical user demographic. Perhaps not.

    Legal or not, I know that these things happen and they affect hiring decisions every day. Again, that is why I keep completely mum on my illness status. Personally, I think that this sort of thing is none of anybody’s business. I keep my anonymity pretty well. What I have found shocking, however, is occasionally there will be a question on an application that pertains to mental illness and/or family history. I will then chuck the application and that potential employer is no more.

    This whole myspace/Facebook generation thing is out of hand. While I think that the practice of looking a person up on these personal networking sites is pretty damn sketchy AND disturbing of a potential employer to do, I do acknowledge that the worldwide web IS a public arena, and one is mainly responsible for what goes up pertaining to them. As a result, I have no photos and/or compromising information about myself. No body shots. I’ve got less than a handful of photos up on Facebook. One of which shows my true artistic prowess. The others are candid and non-compromising. I’m a pretty run-of-the-mill, normal individual. I’ve got one quirk that by this time, I can well handle in a professional environment. To be looked past because of that one quirk is not fair to me, and certainly not fair to the employer. They would be missing out on a damn dedicated, highly productive employee.

    I find the practice of doing what Mrs. B and other HR people do abhorrent. It truly is none of your (or anybody’s) god-damned business. However, I acknowledge that it happens all the time, and I will continue to keep my information extremely private because of that. My “quirks” are mine alone. I have learned to harness them and make myself a better, more creative, and more productive individual because of them.

  65. Angelique says:

    Kjosie:

    Good point about Britney. And I don’t want to turn Amy Winehouse into a hero of some sort or to mock her pain — it just surprised me that she wasn’t included in the post given the nature of the subject.

    I didn’t know that intervention was uncommon in the UK. And it truly saddens me about your suicide attempts… though I don’t know you from Adam (as they say), I do wish you well and hope you’re able to make it through.

    As a recovered anorexic (or someone whose anorexia has remained dormant for years), I know that recovery is tough, hellish, and scary. But when you emerge, the world is truly a less tough, hellish, and scary place.

  66. Mrs. B says:

    Rachel,

    It sounds as though you are very pragmatic and wise.

    Don’t make the assumption, though that I personally seek information on Facebook and MySpace concerning candidates. I am simply reinforcing for people that it is done…mostly by larger corporations, as a routine part of a background check. The logical assumption to make is that if an individual posts information about themselves in a public forum, they are seeking out a public to view it.

  67. Rachel says:

    Mrs. B,

    Thank you.

    I did not intend to make the assumption about you. I figured that with the advent of such sites would come some sort of digging.

    ***PUBLIC*** forum is the part that I think that people forget sometimes.

  68. mamavision says:

    Hi wish: On the topic of triggers, I don’t heed warnings on them. Reality is that triggers are everywhere, you can’t escape them, even if you try – or if you are counseled to try.

    Sure, you can avoid images that make you “think too much” about your disorder but sooner or later this avoidance will get the best of you.

    My take is face it head on NOW. This is a true path to recovery.

    -mamaV
    XOXO

  69. kjosie says:

    mamaV – almost all professionals who work with anorexics suggest to avoid triggers temporarily, like in many EDUs magazines are banned and stuff. So though it’s your take, it’s not one that’s advised.

    Angelique – thankyou. I too am ‘recovered’ from my ED. I just wish i could somehow overcome everything else..

  70. Mrs. B says:

    Josie….

    Don’t try to recover from everything. You are allowed to be a unique individual. Being a Christian, I see it as part of God’s plan. If you’re not a Christian, just look at it as difference keeps things interesting. Read the last part of Rachel’s post.

    “My “quirks” are mine alone. I have learned to harness them and make myself a better, more creative, and more productive individual because of them.”

    Quirks are not a bad thing as long as you can function and can accept yourself!

  71. ibiteback says:

    Sarah-
    In defense of Vannesa, she has tried and failed at recoverying (from her ED) many times and has therfore seen mental health specialist.

  72. ibiteback says:

    And to Mrs. B
    I blog about my anorexia recovery (and relapses/lapses) I hope that it is seen as good but I do not attach my last name to it.

  73. Mrs. B says:

    ibiteback….That’s awesome. The dialogue you can create through a blog (like Mama V’s) is really worthwhile. Don’t get me wrong. I think that the ideas it can generate for everyone are truly useful…..like worldwide group therapy.

    You know, one thing that I keep hearing really bothers me…..I keep hearing about “failure/failure/failure”. The last thing an eating disordered individual needs to hear about is more failure. You are not failing. You are still learning and searching. Not the same thing as failure!

  74. kjosie says:

    Sarah – don’t judge Vanessa without knowing her situation.

    Mrs B – ironically, my mental health issues i have currently make me more dysfunctional than my ED ever did!! If i were capable of being functional then i’d accept myself as I am, as different to everyone else – experiences of the very worst variety can shape people in unbelievably interesting and useful ways.
    At the moment I can’t work, i go to college where i have a rota of support workers, i have a team of mental health professionals i see reguarly, i’m on multiple psychiatric medications, i can’t drive, and i’m not meant to be left by myself. In the recent past i’ve not talked, not been well enough to do simple things like prepare a meal or have a shower, and not left the house.
    For 13ish years i’ve had an anxiety disorder. That’s taken the form of irrational fears, specific phobias, social anxiety (extreme shyness), selective mutism (being unable to talk except in certain situations), agoraphobia, and panic attacks (with fainting and fits at times). For 2 years I had severe depression meaning i was housebound and attempted suicide multiple times. In recent months i’ve had paranoid delusions where i become convinced i’m in some kindof danger – that someone wants to kill me, that someone’s following me, that kinda thing. I’m also going through a phase of self-harm.

    I don’t want sympathy or anything, sharing that, but just to show the gravity of living with mental illness. My range of psychiatric issues are quite a common group associated with those with EDs – i’ll bet most of the other readers here will recognise many aspects of themselves in my story. And I think you can probably see, looking at that situation, why people like myself wouldn’t give a toss about sharing our mental health struggles online, because we have very little to lose.

  75. Mrs. B says:

    kJosie,
    I certainly do see.
    My prayers will be for you tonight. What hell you must live within, particularly as bright as you obviously are. May you find peace.

  76. alien says:

    I’m not religious really, but remembered this famous prayer that well fits the conversation:

    “God, grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change,
    courage to change the things I can,
    and wisdom to know the difference
    living one day at a time,
    accepting hardships as a pathway to peace,
    taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is,
    not as I would have it,
    trusting that You will make all things right,
    if I surrender to Your will,
    so that I may be reasonably happy in this life
    and supremely happy with You forever in the next.”

    … i think you are a hero kjosie.

  77. Is that you in the blue outfit? Love the hair!!!

    The 3rd pic down is nasty!

  78. Mrs. B says:

    Oh, my gosh, palmtreechick. Do you not even recognize Cindy Crawford? She was the most amazing model. Beautiful, brilliant and incredibly fit. That was the girl in the blue outfit.

  79. kjosie says:

    I do find your reactions to my last comment both touching and also curious. If i had described my life with mental illness as being a case of living with anorexia, then i wouldn’t have had the same reaction would i?
    There’d be little sympathy, and the assumption that it was my choice – my choice to fall into it, my choice to recover from it. And the assumption that once recovered i’d have a perfect life forever.
    I wonder if maybe anorexia has got so mixed up with pro-ana and fashion models and size zero and all that crap that maybe people forget that it is a mental illness like any other. Many ‘normal’ people feel they identify with anorexia (mamaV?) because many aspects of it are similar to ordinary life as a woman in our society, and so maybe they feel they can judge it more than they should. It’s also portrayed so wrongly in the media – glamorised, portrayed as a choice, portrayed as ‘a diet that went too far’, portrayed as being ’caused’ by models.
    But are my problems so different?

  80. Vanessa says:

    thank you for saying that, josie.

    like josie i’ve had struggles with both anorexia/ed and other mental illness. for some reason the anorexic behaviors seem to compensate for or lessen some of the other problems, making me less depressed and more able to concentrate and focus when i’m active in my ed.

    although i agree wholeheartedly with josie that people here seem not to grasp the underlying truth about anorexia being a mental illness, i think in general people with other mental illnesses are even less respected than people with just an ed, as if anorexics are secretly viewed with a bit of awe while someone who struggles with suicidality, depression, or other traditional mentall illnesses is pitied.

  81. Mrs. B says:

    Josie and Vanessa,
    3 in 10 young college women are now experiencing some sort of eating disorder. MANY of those young women do not have debilitating psychiatric illness, outside of that which is caused by starvation and purging, as the FOUNDATION of their illness. Many of them have learned about EDs from the media and have been faced with ridiculous images of “beauty” and perfectionism.

    There is an odd primordial soup going on in our culture taking many high achieving women down this insane path.

    I believe that there are multiple reasons whereby people fall into an ED. Once you are there, I’m not sure that it makes any difference how you got there, other than you can usually treat someone, who is otherwise “Normal”, who takes on an ED in stages – starting with refeeding and getting a “normal” brain functioning normally again when you stop starving it. (Wow, that was a runon sentence!) If your brain is struggling on many fronts….psychosis, BPD, PTSD, etc., it has to be harder.

    So why do I feel less badly for someone who has an ED without all the other psychological issues? Well to me, that’s obvious. You look at people like Nichole Ritchie or Keira Knightley…They are obviously eating disordered, but they are able to go out in public….be left alone…talk to people.
    Whereas, Josie and Vanessa, the situation you are living in sounds much more stressful.

    You both sound like strong women, and are obviously quite bright. Through the internet, you obviously can reach out and have relationships, but your life sounds very hard. For that, I am sorry.

    Do keep reaching for the light, though. I believe that each and every life has purpose and value, even if only to teach others about your struggle and to teach compassion. That probably doesn’t sound very comforting. But I know that I have learned from both of you.

  82. Mrs. B says:

    P.S. Vanessa, I don’t look at anorexics in awe. Where your brain looks at Mama V’s picture post and sees perfection, my brain says, “Dang, what man would want to lie down with that bag of bones, and she probably can’t even fix a decent meal. What child would want that cold fish for a mama. What kind of awful life must she have?” Being a woman, to me, is much more than being fashionable. It means being nourishing and warm and dynamic. I may wear a size 8, and not a size 0, but my body functions the way it was intended to!
    Cindy Crawford looks like way more fun than Kate Moss!

  83. Vanessa says:

    mrs b – i don’t know how you or any other individual looks at anorexics, but i do know that in our culture it is very common to hear someone say something like “oh, i wish i could be anorexic, just for a few weeks”. it’s an ignorant attitude but since many women are perpetually dieting they falsely believe that anorexics somehow have self-control that they are lacking.

    in reality, anorexia is not about self control or willpower at all. if you’ve ever been, like i have, trying to recover and having major freak out crying fits at the idea of eating one normal meal or even just drinking one sinlgle meal replacement drink then it becomes obvious that anorexics are completely and totally out of control of their reactions. respectfully, i don’t think you really understand the way this disorder can affect people, you seem to think it’s a choice. people like mamaV who were/are models or celebrities don’t necessarily have what i would consider a true ed, but for those that do they are as debilitating as any other mental illness.

  84. kjosie says:

    Mrs B – aahh, now things make a little more sense. Disordered eating is common amongst girls and women, but labelling them “eating disorders” causes confusion when eating disorder implies mental ill health. Eating disorders tend to have genetic links, frequent relapses and a number of psychiatric issues on the side. I don’t think it’s quite right to label the large number of girls who have disordered eating as having “eating disorders” because it’s just such a different issue. “Disordered eating” and “extreme dieting” might be better terms.

    I found some interesting statistics the other day, about disordered eating/thinking amongst British women:
    97% of British women think those who wear a Size 12 (US Size 8) are “officially overweight”
    60% of women say their so-called friends have criticised their body shape
    40% say even their mothers urge them to lose weight.
    20% say they can’t sit at their office desk without their colleagues suggesting they slim down.
    And when it comes to a big night out….
    Half of all women go without food all day so their stomach is flatter
    10% makes themselves physically sick so they can fit into a party dress
    13% admitting they take speed or cocaine to speed up their metabolism
    37% have taken slimming pills
    11% have bought diet drugs on the internet
    Overall 84% of women say they would feel “much happier” if they lost weight and think about their body size every 12 minutes. ”

    Add to this statistics i’ve picked up recently:
    25% of teenage girls use eating disorder methods (skipping meals, purgeing, laxative abuse, excessive exercise, etc) to lose weight
    44% of overweight teenage girls use eating disorder methods (skipping meals, purgeing, laxative abuse, excessive exercise, etc) to lose weight
    90% of all women 15-64 worldwide want to change at least one aspect of their physical appearance (with body weight ranking the highest)
    67% of all women 15 to 64 withdraw from life-engaging activities due to feeling badly about their looks (among them things like giving an opinion, going to school, going to the doctor)

    As you can see, the societal influence on eating and thinking is HUGE, but labelling it all “eating disorders” confuses people with those like me, Vanessa and many of mamaVs other readers.

  85. kjosie says:

    That little smily: 8) was meant to be an 8!
    Yes – apparently 97% of British women consider a US size 8 officially overweight. Sorry mamaV 😉

  86. Mrs. B says:

    Vanessa,
    My only personal experience with an anorexic/bulimic is with my daughter, who is still officially still in a normal (but low) bmi range. Although she has always had higher anxiety than most kids I knew (she also has a very high IQ and THINKS alot – which can be a blessing or a curse), but she was totally functional – happy, healthy and living her life. She became totally absorbed, as a late teen, in fashion, and looked more and more at the trends in fashion with a critical eye toward herself. She had been an athlete – so at 5’7, she was a muscular, but lean 135 lbs. She started hating her physique. She became ill and lost some weight through vomiting, and then discovered it was a far “easier” way to lose weight than any other she could think of, not that she needed to.
    The ability to eat whatever she wanted and lose and lose weight became addictive. A kid who always had been able to eat normally began to binge eat….because she could, and then the food became numbing, and an addiction. People stop her everywhere and tell her how amazing she looks and that reinforcement fuels her addiction. She lost control financially because of her food addiction. She began to hide because she was ashamed. She quit going to class to binge, and the more stress she felt from not going to class fueled more binges and purges. She began to lie to cover herself. The restriction of food to compensate, and the purging, began to affect her brain and mood. She is a different person today than she was 6 months ago. She ACQUIRED this eating disorder, and now she is a full-blown clinically defined anorexic/bulimic.

    So yes, I think there are people who are anorexic, and that perhaps for them, the anorexia is, in itself, a disease to which they were predisposed genetically. And I think there are girls who BECOME anorexic combining normal teenage stress and anxiety with cultural influence and perhaps a precipitating event. But the girls who acquire an ED also acquire anxiety, depression and psychosis as their bodies fall apart and as they try to cover their tracks. The end is the same. Disordered eating can become an eating disorder.

    The difference for my daughter, perhaps, is that at least she can REMEMBER feeling normal and that she has that as something to try to strive to return to.

  87. kjosie says:

    Mrs B – i think you have a good understanding of eating disorders there. I think for many with EDs, their ED causes a lot of the coexisting psychiatric problems, but i think in a lot of cases (like mine) problems existed before the ED.

    I still stand by how i think eating disorders are often not treated the same way as other mental health issues. And also that “eating disorder” being a label applied to lots of people is incorrect, because it trivialises more serious EDs like your daughters or Vanessas.

    I really hope your daughter wins her battle with her ED. She’s very lucky to have you standing by her to support her through it. I must admit i feel jealous that she can remember normality, but at the same time i feel lucky that i’m no longer living my life like your daughter is.

  88. Mrs. B says:

    Ah, Josie. I am so happy for you that you have conquered your ED. And I have to tell you, you sound like an incredibly brave woman. I believe you will conquer many of the battles you are facing.

  89. mamavision says:

    Hey Mrs B.: I laughed out loud when I read your message about Cindy Crawford….we are getting old man!!

    PTC: I know I am a total babe, but Cindy C? What a compliment.

    -mamaV

  90. Mrs. B says:

    MamaV,
    I’m even older than you. The big 5-0 right around the corner. And it’s GREAT! I love all the fashion comments about how awful OLD is. What a joke. It’s empowering!!

  91. Ha! I didn’t think it was you because she didn’t look like you, but I got confused when you wrote that you pulled out the 1987 copy. I was thinking that it was your copy, like with you on it, though it didn’t look anything like ya.

  92. ibiteback says:

    Mrs. B-
    If my mom went online and posted my weight and height, I would freak out. Then again my mom isn’t allowed to see my weight because I won’t let her. If she happens to find this and other personal info I bet she will be very upset and not trust you. This is all assuming you didn’t ask her permission first, if you did and she said yes good for her. And if she is still in the normal BMI range she is not clinically anorexic. I’m not saying that means she doesn’t suffer, just that it is medically not correct term usage, her restricting can be seen as a form of purges.
    And unless you have an eating disorder you cannot truly understand an eating disorder.

  93. ibiteback says:

    Mrs. B-
    A “true” eating disorder doesn’t stop once you re-feed. If you think your daughter will just be back to herself once she stops purging you are wrong. Maybe she isn’t telling you everything that led up to her eating disorder but someone doesn’t just purge to lose weight one day who doesn’t already have at least low body-image/self-esteem. I mean you are hurting your body, you don’t do that if you are a totally normally functioning person.

  94. kjosie says:

    ibiteback – refeeding does have a major effect upon a persons state of mind, and though refeeding on its own won’t get rid of the ED, it would have a massive effect. Once a person is eating properly they can think more rationally, and in many cases the depressive aspect goes. However there would still be issues to be dealt with for a long time after that.
    Maybe Mrs B’s daughter will be one of the lucky ones who doesn’t need much more than refeeding. From what Mrs B is saying, it sounds likely her daughter hasn’t been ill that long (but then we don’t know what might be hidden from Mrs B – i know how secretive i was!!!) in which case she may have more hope.

  95. Kat says:

    you guys are horrible……..stole pictures without permission of the author. the girl with the “skinny bitch” shirt…Gil’s pic, and the girl with the coins/rings in her collarbones, you
    STOLE.

  96. Nats says:

    Kat,

    May i ask why we are horrible?? How did we steal anything? Those pictures are all over the web!!
    Why do you not like them being here?

  97. x says:

    This site and the comments it gets makes me hate humanity.

  98. Good one, says:

    Nats, you are an idiot.

    Please consider the location of the nearest bridge in regards to yourself.

  99. Anonymous says:

    mamaV, you make me sick. You are a terrible person for putting pictures of those girls up after they asked you to stop. Stop being jealous because you were a fat model, GET OVER YOURSELF and give up.

  100. anon says:

    I agree with the message above. You make me angry with captions such as “pro ana halloween costume” and “guys join the anorexic fun” you go beyond making me sick, you are sick. You have absolutely no right to use other peoples photos for your own rants about image and the media you only to in order to cheer yourself up because you were critisised as a model once. I am a model, and even though I am heavily critisised constantly by agencies about my weight I don’t take it out on other people to make myself feel less fat. The reason I have, and other people suffer from EDs is often quite irrelevant to the fucking media. You don’t just see a skinny catwalk model and go “oh, I want to be like that. Let’s drop to 6 stone and go to hospital for it” No you don’t. I believe the media can be triggering, but it does NOT cause eating disorders.

    Get over yourself, like other people have said. Stop trying to talk about something you don’t KNOW about.

  101. Lara says:

    Dear MamaV,
    Not to say that I’m not with you in all of this most of those pictures made me want to cry. However, you know the pic of the girl holding coins and rings with her collar bones? Well, I’m a very healthy 5’6 at 140lbs and I can do that too (I’ve even let people take shots out of those holes) so it just that case I think maybe you were a bit harsh, it can just be funny.

  102. Hilary says:

    I don’t think you should be posting pictures without permission but that’s besides the point. I haven’t “collar bone girls” site but I have seen her youtube videos. What is proana? Someone with an eating disorder? No. Everybody has their issues but that doesn’t mean talking about them makes them proana. I’ve watched all her videos and she didn’t give out tips for other people to see and take from her. Proanas would. Joking around…when you get bored you start messing around. Maybe you shouldn’t take everything so seriousely.

  103. ashleeee says:

    this is grosss,
    girls, get a life your not fat!

  104. Anon says:

    How dare you! After I asked you to remove my picture from the last stupid “pro-ana” article you wrote, you had te nerve and disrespect to post it again in another one? Take my picture down and never use it again. I’ve been in treatment for anorexia nervosa for 7 years now and my skinny bitch shirt is an inside joke between me and my friends who know I struggle. I got it 3 years ago and its not for you to plaster my face in your stupid articles about “pro-ana”.

  105. dorian gray says:

    you parade around warning of the dangers of “pro-anorexia” and an all too weight conscious america, yet you also make fun of real “skinny bitches” with disorders of their own?

    Sorry if I’m mistaken here, but I think you’re chosing the wrong enemies … trying to humiliate innocent people …

    youre a bastardization of sympathy and your one sided ignorance is a perfect reflection of what our society is coming to.

  106. Anonymous says:

    Nicci is a wonderful woman, she is an amazing friend and she never ever has supported the pro-ana movement, don’t put pictures up of people you don’t even take the time to get to know, take her picture down, she never did anything to deserve this.

  107. Pirate Slick says:

    Look, you have a picture of my friend on your site [under ‘skinny bitches’] and it needs to be taken down. She is in no shape or form pro-ana. Shes suffering from a deadly disease that can kill her and she is not happy or promoting anorexia at all. I think its really fucked up that you steal peoples pictures without their permission and assume things about them that aren’t true. You are obviously ignorant and don’t know what its like to suffer from a life threatening disease. This picture needs to be taken down or there will be further action taken to make sure it is taken down.

  108. Katie says:

    Seriously, stop using her (and don’t say you don’t know who I’m talking about!) pictures on your stupid site. She is NOT pro-ana! She has an eating disorder. Her friend got her that shirt as an inside joke because she had been struggling for so long. Do you have any idea how long she has been in treatment? Both inpatient and other? No. You don’t. You have no fucking idea what it’s like to have an eating disorder, fight to try and get your life back on track, and have some asshole, like yourself, continue to use your pictures as “thinspo” when I know for a fact that she did not give you permission to use it, and she has asked you repeatedly to take it off your site. You disgust me. I hope you burn in hell bitch because that’s where people like you go. I wish I could see you for just one second. I would love to see you DEAD. Fuck off.

  109. erin says:

    this PISSES ME OFF.
    nikki (the girl in the “skinny bitch” shirt), is struggling VERY badly.
    how DARE you use it WITHOUT her permission!!
    she bought the shirt with friends, because they know how much she struggles and [the shirt] is an inside joke.
    and you try to make her feel guilty about the one thing she smiled out while out with friends.
    way to boost her self esteem.
    now whenever she wears the shirt, she will remember they GAY ASS site.
    and calling her pro-ana?!
    she’s been in nonstop treatment for 7 years. 7 YEARS!!!
    she encourages everyone on “cyberspace” to do their best, especially when they go into treatment,
    and she has even started a GREAT recovery group on myspace!!!
    she has asked you not to use it before,
    and you still use it.
    UNBELIEVABLE.

    people like you disgust me.

  110. erin says:

    this PISSES ME OFF.
    nicci (the girl in the “skinny bitch” shirt), is struggling VERY badly.
    how DARE you use it WITHOUT her permission!!
    she bought the shirt with friends, because they know how much she struggles and [the shirt] is an inside joke.
    and you try to make her feel guilty about the one thing she smiled out while out with friends.
    way to boost her self esteem.
    now whenever she wears the shirt, she will remember they GAY ASS site.
    and calling her pro-ana?!
    she’s been in nonstop treatment for 7 years. 7 YEARS!!!
    she encourages everyone on “cyberspace” to do their best, especially when they go into treatment,
    and she has even started a GREAT recovery group on myspace!!!
    she has asked you not to use it before,
    and you still use it.
    UNBELIEVABLE.

    people like you disgust me.

  111. Katy says:

    Whoever runs this site needs to learn to respect the wishes of other. A picture on here of a certain girl should NOT be here. She did not give her permission for it to be used off her private site, and her repeated requests to have it removed because she is NOT pro-ana were denied.

    Please, whoever runs this learn to respect the wishes of other. You are saying how pro-ana is bad, you’re supporting it by not supporting someone who is fighting the disease and NOT giving out “thinspo”

    Ask for her to remove the picture!!! The author of this KNOWS who it is.

    TAKE IT OFF! Help the girl and prove that you REALLY want to help people, not just hurt them.

  112. Bekki says:

    You are pathetic for putting this picture into your little “group” of pro-ana pictures.
    http://mamavision.files.wordpress.com/2007/05/1022762553_l.jpg

    If you knew anything about her, you would know that she is not happy nor proud for her eating disroder. Maybe you should try and research what you’re talking about before you make someone feel like shit with false assumptions and posting their face on the internet with a ridiculous caption so that the entire world can see it. That’s just so sad on your part.

    And I can promise you that I am not the only one that sees it that way, either.

  113. Sarah says:

    I seem to recall the “Skinny Bitch” begging you to take her picture OFF your website? Why would you republish it. I know that girl, and she is very, very ill. She is distraught that you would RE-associate her with the “pro ana” movement. She is close to death, MamaV. And the sad part is, she doesn’t realize it. If you had taken the time to speak with her, you would know what an incredible, sensitive, strong girl she is. Instead you parade her picture around as the face of “pro ana.” Well done.

    Oh, and if you had REALLY gotten that picture from the source as you claim, you would know what her caption used to read–“At least the second part is true.”

  114. Meghan says:

    Anorexia/bulimia are DISEASES! Most of the people in your pictures are suffering. Please ask their permission next time you use their pictures, and don’t just assume that they are bad people.

  115. Jme124 says:

    I think that you should have permission before you can put their picture on your site. Its only fair. I know for a fact one girl on this link is trying to recover, and then you post a bullshit comment about her. Thats only hurting her even more. Something you should think about.

  116. Sonja says:

    I think its friggen rude to use images of people you dont know. You have used people that I know in this “pro ana” shit of yours and it hurts them…it hurts me. If you knew anything about compassion or empathy…when she asked you to remove those pictures because she does not want to be associated with being “pro-ana” (DUE TO THE FACT SHE IS SUFFERING FROM A HORRIBLE DISEASE)..you would remove them. But, you know nothing and lack all human skills that will drive you in this world. You may say I am just making an “assumption” but you putting my friends up as being “pro-ana” without knowing anything about them is also an “assumption”.

  117. Theresa/Skye says:

    I commented the last time you put my friend’s photo up on your dumb site.
    The girl with the “Skinny Bitch” photo is NOT fucking pro-ana. I know, KNOW that she has messaged you before when you put her picture up on your site and asked you to take it down.
    You took it down, only to put it back up again.
    Do you really honestly think that ridiculing her will make her better, do you honestly think it will help her eat, help her get a better body image of herself???
    Do you know what the stereotypical pro-ana girl is? PRO-ANA=FAT!!!!
    Do you not fucking realize how triggering your accusations are??
    Obviously not. Get her photo of your fucking site.

  118. Cassie says:

    I cannot believe someone would post this. I know for sure that at least one of those girls pics are angry someone posted there pic without evem asking them. Have you no consideration? Leave them alone. They go threw enough without stupid fucking articles like this. I hope you are ashamed.

  119. Anne says:

    The girl in the “skinny bitch” shirt is not pro-ana. That picture was stolen from her personal site. You are furthering the spread of a stolen and personal picture when you post it.
    She’s a sweet girl who is suffering and is very against pro-ana.

  120. memorablelaugh says:

    I assume your intent is to promote well being. If that’s true then you’ve really missed the mark.

    By STEALING a picture of someone who is trying to recover from a devastating disease, that you seem so concerned about, you’re really doing yourself a disservice. It’s disgusting and irresponsible of you to STEAL someone’s picture with blatant disregard or their wishes. Associating someone with “pro-ana” and including her in this post against her wishes is pathetic.

    You say her posting pictures shows “total disregard of consequence.” How ironic! Don’t you think that leaving her picture there, when she has asked for it to be removed shows a “total disregard of consequence” on your part?

    Even though this post is old, it still remains part of your website and it is arrogant, irresponsible, and selfish of you to leave her picture up against her will.

  121. shen7 says:

    nicci NOT pro-ana??
    are you guys friggin’ kidding me?? she is all over the place…posts pictures NON-STOP. she is very much pro-ana.

    also…nicci herself has stolen pictures of anorexic girls and posted them all over the place.
    karma sucks huh nicci??

    she GLAMORIZES this horrible disease.

    she deserves no sympathy.

    she’s not some 13 year old girl that made a mistake posting her pictures all over the place. she’s an adult and therefore can deal with the consequences.

  122. erin says:

    Nicci is all over the place because gay idots steal her pictures!
    If you think she posts pictures non stop, you would have to be one of her friends on myspace…and you would know very well how much she is anti pro-ana.
    Oh, and Shen7, can you provide us links to where she has posted pictures of other girls all over the place? I haven’t seen one that she allegedly posted, and since they’re “all over the place” you should be able to do that no problem. And how does she glamorize it?! Thanks!

  123. mamavision says:

    Yes,
    I am sad to agree, but everyone who is discussing Nikki is correct.
    She is not at all ‘Pro ana’,
    And it was wrong to post her picture.
    I am sorry to all who was offended.

    -mamaV

  124. P. says:

    MamaV – recent comments in your threads about Gil seem to be suggesting that she was being less than entirely honest about how ill she was!

    ???

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  126. Alicia says:

    Mamav – please think about removing the photoshopped picture under Hila Elmalich. It is a model’s face photoshopped onto a lady known in pro-ana communities as bonypink. I don’t know the entire story, but she contacted 2Medusa a few years ago because she’s trying to get all the photos of her offline. See, she was kidnapped years ago and starved and forced to pose by a sexual sadist. She’s had to bring up cease and desist letters to different websites because she didn’t consent to the pictures. I’m sure she would ask you to take down this photo but since another face is photoshopped on it, she might not have caught it yet.

    Regards, Alicia

    • Brony Pinkiepie says:

      The twat who contacted Medusa is not the girl in the pictures, she’s just an overweight Canadian attention whore who likes to pretend that she’s dying of anorexia so idiots will send her gifts and money.

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