anyway since i still lived at home, he always stays at the kichen, watching tv. so when i try to get food, he would give out sermons on how wrong i was w/ my eating habits. he tells me not to eat meat, that it makes me fat, and tells me im fat because i eat at the wrong times.
during the time he was saying this, i was 5’2 130 lbs.

i might have been out out of shape but i was in no way obese, i didnt eat much, i just didnt work out. i was also out of a bad situation w/ a guy and it didnt end well, i was severely depressed and had almost nobody to talk to. im the kind of person who would rather not discuss her personal problems to other people, i am used to people telling me theirs.

anyway right now im 105 lbs, ive developed bulimia in less than a year. i like how i look to be honest but i felt painful stomach aches..theres also a variety of health issues that is happening.

my dad still says stuff about meat, saying how fattening it is, and that my sister is fat, or fat women are ugly. i dont comment about it. my dad used to work in another country and visited us 2-3x a eyar and he seemed like a good dad when i was growing up, but he and my mom fought a lot. all of it basically about other women (that i have not seen , or saw any evidence of). im not sure if she imagined it or it was real. but i think my dad is a sexist, but not misogynist. hes the type of guy who looks at a good looking woman even though hes with my mom. she doesnt say anything when he does it though.

i was away for a month last year, and when i got home he told me “what happened to you? you look fat”. my friends told me “thats not the sort of thing you’d say to your daughter after you havent seen her for a month.”

hes been so critical of me that when i wake up, and i’d feel so hungry but i dont leave my room cause i dont want to see him or hear him tell me im fat and tell me what to eat.

hes the sort of guy who you dont know if you’d sympathize with or just plain hate and avoid.