Comments on: Pro Anorexia Mothers http://mamavision.com/2007/10/20/pro-anorexia-mothers/ Love me or hate me I'm going to be here. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 04:57:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: kailey http://mamavision.com/2007/10/20/pro-anorexia-mothers/#comment-17159 kailey Wed, 12 Jan 2011 20:37:51 +0000 http://mamavision.com/2007/10/20/pro-anorexia-mothers/#comment-17159 beautifully put - l'm sure you're one of those who the drs say to "Oh you're so articulate and insightful - how can you be doing this?"... Do take care though beautifully put – l’m sure you’re one of those who the drs say to “Oh you’re so articulate and insightful – how can you be doing this?”…
Do take care though

]]> By: kailey http://mamavision.com/2007/10/20/pro-anorexia-mothers/#comment-17158 kailey Wed, 12 Jan 2011 20:20:16 +0000 http://mamavision.com/2007/10/20/pro-anorexia-mothers/#comment-17158 I had severe anorexia as a teenager, however prior to having children was, or thought l was, recovered. However l seem to be relapsing. I've been thinking greatly about this. My children are now two and four and a half. My husband has chosen to work in Africa for the last 18 months (8weeks there, 4 weeks home.)to further his career. This means l have been unable to work outside of the home. Both girls have suffered horrendous tonsillitis (since removed in both) and we've spent many, many hours awake in the night with high temperatures and pain, in both. My youngest daughter regularly stopped breathing due to her enlarged tonsils, and l used to lay up watching her breathe, and gently shaking her awake when she stopped. Now my husband is finishing up in Africa, and we are due to move interstate. And for some reason, this is when problems have begun to reoccur. My eldest daughter has felt very anxious in regards to the move. Being a highly sociable child, she is saddened by the upcoming loss of her friends. I have certainly felt her anxiety. My youngest is exceptionally bright and demanding - thus taking away much of the time l could use to help and prepare my elder daughter. This too, has created anxiety in me. One thing l know for certain, is that, for me who has always liked a certain ammount of control, children can quickly take that from you. All coping mechanisms (long walks, time to read a book, to talk on the phone, to THINK!) are very much demanded by the child, and quite impossible to do - Time out is not an option at this stage. Eating, which l had thought l had gained positive control over has become erratic. A meal for me involves (usually the younger one) taking food from my plate (and if not liking it, spitting it back out on my plate), drink (which may or may not be poured all over the ground!) something else/different to eat, going to the toilet, yelling at each other etc etc...Going to the toilet myself, has become very difficult - having two kids follow me in, or yelling for help, can be a little off putting! - which eventually led to a severe bowel impaction, this too has left me frightened to eat at a reasonable level. And at a time l thought l was doing well, my husband came home from Africa and complained about the state of the house (yes, its surface clean, but my cupboards are ALWAYS a mess!) The triggering words were "Well its just not good enough to give all the time to the kids - what about a clean house for them?" That statement has rang through my ears many times over - and the feeling of being torn (between a child who loves mess) and the feeling of failing if l cant clean it all has been an added pressure. So right now, things don't look good - they don't feel right, and l certainly don't feel right.... My mother used to yell, which l don't or can't do - and call us messy disgusting, children - l refuse to do that. She certainly had her own eating issues (vomiting etc) and complained of my being fat as a child - which of course l would never, and hope l do never, do to my own children. But something has changed in me. I don't think it is about being selfish, as such - l think it has more to do with trying very, very hard NOT to be selfish. Not to have my own needs, or my own wants. And although l may be told to just ignore it ("strap the child in the pram and go for that walk") a screaming child can add greatly to my anxiety, and l cannot ignore it!! Anyway, l'm trying - and hoping that this is all just a phase, in all of us - but l'm scared also... I had severe anorexia as a teenager, however prior to having children was, or thought l was, recovered. However l seem to be relapsing. I’ve been thinking greatly about this.
My children are now two and four and a half. My husband has chosen to work in Africa for the last 18 months (8weeks there, 4 weeks home.)to further his career. This means l have been unable to work outside of the home.
Both girls have suffered horrendous tonsillitis (since removed in both) and we’ve spent many, many hours awake in the night with high temperatures and pain, in both. My youngest daughter regularly stopped breathing due to her enlarged tonsils, and l used to lay up watching her breathe, and gently shaking her awake when she stopped.
Now my husband is finishing up in Africa, and we are due to move interstate. And for some reason, this is when problems have begun to reoccur.
My eldest daughter has felt very anxious in regards to the move. Being a highly sociable child, she is saddened by the upcoming loss of her friends. I have certainly felt her anxiety. My youngest is exceptionally bright and demanding – thus taking away much of the time l could use to help and prepare my elder daughter. This too, has created anxiety in me.
One thing l know for certain, is that, for me who has always liked a certain ammount of control, children can quickly take that from you. All coping mechanisms (long walks, time to read a book, to talk on the phone, to THINK!) are very much demanded by the child, and quite impossible to do – Time out is not an option at this stage.
Eating, which l had thought l had gained positive control over has become erratic. A meal for me involves (usually the younger one) taking food from my plate (and if not liking it, spitting it back out on my plate), drink (which may or may not be poured all over the ground!) something else/different to eat, going to the toilet, yelling at each other etc etc…Going to the toilet myself, has become very difficult – having two kids follow me in, or yelling for help, can be a little off putting! – which eventually led to a severe bowel impaction, this too has left me frightened to eat at a reasonable level.
And at a time l thought l was doing well, my husband came home from Africa and complained about the state of the house (yes, its surface clean, but my cupboards are ALWAYS a mess!) The triggering words were “Well its just not good enough to give all the time to the kids – what about a clean house for them?” That statement has rang through my ears many times over – and the feeling of being torn (between a child who loves mess) and the feeling of failing if l cant clean it all has been an added pressure.
So right now, things don’t look good – they don’t feel right, and l certainly don’t feel right….
My mother used to yell, which l don’t or can’t do – and call us messy disgusting, children – l refuse to do that. She certainly had her own eating issues (vomiting etc) and complained of my being fat as a child – which of course l would never, and hope l do never, do to my own children.
But something has changed in me. I don’t think it is about being selfish, as such – l think it has more to do with trying very, very hard NOT to be selfish. Not to have my own needs, or my own wants. And although l may be told to just ignore it (“strap the child in the pram and go for that walk”) a screaming child can add greatly to my anxiety, and l cannot ignore it!!
Anyway, l’m trying – and hoping that this is all just a phase, in all of us – but l’m scared also…

]]> By: MelAmber http://mamavision.com/2007/10/20/pro-anorexia-mothers/#comment-16975 MelAmber Thu, 06 Jan 2011 22:00:47 +0000 http://mamavision.com/2007/10/20/pro-anorexia-mothers/#comment-16975 I am worried. My long time BF and I talk about getting pregnant all the time. Frankly, i am worried that my on going ED will not just vanish i do get pregnant, or have a child. It is like i just hope and pray that i will magically gain perspective once i get pregnant. Is this just mis-guided, stupid optimism, or, does getting pregnant really have such a profound impact, that i will be forced to take a step back and really get 'well'??? I certainly DO NOT want my ED to impact my future children...but, does having an ED mean that i should not have the chance to procreate? Assuming the readers of this post are articulate, smart women (maybe some men) ...I would like to hear your thoughts.. I am worried. My long time BF and I talk about getting pregnant all the time. Frankly, i am worried that my on going ED will not just vanish i do get pregnant, or have a child. It is like i just hope and pray that i will magically gain perspective once i get pregnant. Is this just mis-guided, stupid optimism, or, does getting pregnant really have such a profound impact, that i will be forced to take a step back and really get ‘well’???

I certainly DO NOT want my ED to impact my future children…but, does having an ED mean that i should not have the chance to procreate?

Assuming the readers of this post are articulate, smart women (maybe some men) …I would like to hear your thoughts..

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