Purging Disorder…nothing new.

An Iowa researcher is studying a little-known eating disorder that some doctors may miss: purging disorder.

Though similar to women with bulimia, patients who fit this description don’t binge-eat. Yet they feel compelled to purge, usually by vomiting, even after eating only a small or normal amount of food, said Pamela Keel, the University of Iowa researcher who led a study on the subject.

Visit any pro ana board to see the purging disorder in action, such as this young woman freaking out, asking her cohorts if its ok she ate broccoli……it’s broccoli for goodness sake.


I think we have now just become so completely disordered in our eating habits we don’t even know what is “normal” anymore. No need to really binge to feel guilty, eat just a handful of grapes and its time to let it fly since pro ana’s have made eating a sin.

Keel clearly recognizes this is not a new phenomenon, stating “purging disorder is new in the sense that it has not been officially recognized as a unique condition in the classification of eating disorders. But it’s not a new problem, women were struggling with purging disorder long before we began studying it.”

On the plus side, this is a big step in terms of insurance coverage, since a new classification for purging disorders will bring with it treatment options previously not available. 

Final note, the most interesting part of the study was the comparison made on cholecystokinin, the chemical in our bodies that make us feel full when eating. Women with bulimia has less of this chemical, women with purging disorder had more of this chemical, triggering a feeling of fullness.

This adds validity to the study, and shows the existence of a chemical reason some women actually feel “too full” after eating, but I can’t help but wonder how much of this is psychological.


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62 Responses to Purging Disorder…nothing new.

  1. Josie says:

    It’s about time Purgeing Disorder becomes a ‘real’ ED. It’s probably more common than bulimia actually. At the moment those who purge without binges are just labelled as bulimic which isn’t strictly accurate, and is difficult for ‘real’ bulimics because people will forget about the most important aspect of bulimia which is the bingeing.

    It’s also true that it’s hard to know what’s normal anymore. I started a discussion about that on your forum actually.
    Sometimes i don’t know if i’ve even had an ED because it seems so ordinary. Often i think people (especially pro-anas) label what’s normal as EDs because it is disordered. 1 in 4 teenage girls using ED methods is massive.

  2. Vanessa says:

    sometimes i start feeling kindly towards you and then you come out with these outrageous remarks! proanas have made eating a sin? for who? most proanas i know LOVE to see other people eating- the more the better, to make themselves seem thinner and more in control. thats typical anorexia. and freaking out after eating something small and harmless is part of having an EATING DISORDER, not something proana inflicted on anyone. i know i’ve freaked out over similarly small things and it sure wasn’t proana’s fault.

    but no, here at mamavision proana and the fashion world are responsible for all the evils in the world. whats next. maybe proana was secretly behind the tsunami? proanas are toting guns into myanmar to quash the protesters? RUN everyone it’s PROANA!!!! AHHHH!!!!

    i didn’t follow the link, because i don’t think its right to be a voyeur for this girls pain. and don’t give me the “if its on the internet it’s public” excuse: just because something is legal and possible to do doesn’t make it right. and it never ever will.

  3. Elle says:

    Vanessa, you and I are on the same wave-length. MamaV’s comment “pro ana’s have made eating a sin.” Was exactly what I wanted to comment about too. LOL

    “Proana’s” did not make eating a sin. Our societyy made eating a sin. The diet and beauty industry made eating a sin. The thousands of misleading statistcs on obesity made eating a sin. At the same time we have fast-food and junk-food ads crammed down our throats. The western culture as I see it has a severe split-personality concerning food. One thing, mamaV, you were very right about is that almost no one knows what “normal” and healthy eating habits are. The entire country is eating disordered and has body dismorphia.

  4. Rachel says:

    Chill, Vanessa. I’m glad that MamaV brought up that “pro-ana’s have made eating a sin,” which may or may not be true, but it does open us to healthy discussion concerning this topic. However, I think your attitude is way out of whack. I feel that you are taking something out of context. Of course MV has a lot to say about the fashion industry, she was part of it.

    Now, on to my next point:

    Elle, you rephrased what *both* MamaV and Vanessa said and clarified it to a T. Yes, we are a very fucked up culture. “Eat More.” “Eat More Crap.” “Ooooh, Obesity Epidemic.” Concerning food, nobody fucking knows what’s normal and healthy or not anymore. “Lose weight while you sleep.” “Here, take this pill, melt the pounds away.” Yet, go to any restaurant and their “normal” sized portion of crap is actually 1,000 calories or more. WTF?!?!!! We’ve got a very love-hate relationship and addiction and starving and purging and binging and disordered thinking concerning food. We are totally schizophrenic when it comes to food.

    I’m glad that this “purging disorder” has been brought to light. I finally feel like *that* is where I am classfied concerning this whole ordeal. I do not force myself to vomit, but I purge in other ways. I don’t like feeling full, and I think it’s one of the worst possible feelings in the world. However, I have been getting over that lately, as the activities that I am partaking in require more energy, so I have to plan my food accordingly so I’m not halfway through the middle of a shift and cannot stand up anymore because my knees are shaking so badly.

  5. Sarah says:

    at least now i know my therapist was fucking stupid when she asked what i ate in a binge. one time i replied “some teryaki noodles” she insisted that wasn’t ALL i ate. i hate her.

    today is the very very wrost day of my life. so i model in my city, but i’m moving soon so i sent some pictures out to agencies where i’m moving. i recently..in like the past 2 weeks,, starved myself before taking pictures and meeting agents. at 5’11 i got myself down to 115 which was almost acceptable for me. you know what happened? I got rejected. I dont want to move anymore. apparently a 5’11 girl should weigh 105 in the big cities.

    i’m worthless

  6. CuriousVisitor says:

    Not a clue if this is helpful or not, but I just have to point this out.

    Sarah, according to the BMI chart at the CDC, “normal” for someone 5′ 11″ is between 136 and 172 pounds. You’re not worthless. You’re fine. They’re stupid.

  7. Karrie says:

    Actually, I do believe that I have purging disorder, because I don’t fit the binging criteria for Bulimia. I’m glad there’s more light shed on this.

    But.. I have to say, MamaV, I don’t think ProAna made “eating a sin”… the eating disorders themselves (not the person who has it!) made eating the “sin”. Eating disorders start off by whispering that we shouldn’t have that dessert… which slowly goes into screaming at us to stave, binge, purge, exercise like nutcases, use a deadly amount of laxatives.

    There’s always a tipping point to where someone has an eating disorder, but as to the causes, there’s a million and one reasons. From a passing comment to yes, looking at ProAna. Eating Disorders are highly complicated and ProAna isn’t always the reason or cause, as much as one would love to think they would be.

    But still, thank you for posting about the article on Purging disorder. I think better awareness on eating disorders are key to more people getting treatment and recovering.

  8. echo says:

    If being 5’11 and 115 makes you worthless, what does that make me??? I’m barely an inch shorter than you, but I weigh significantly more. Does that mean all the recovery (ie weight gain) really is a waste?

    As for the article, I read that the other day. It’s so nice to see things like purging disorder get attention too. It is really sad how disordered eating and unhealthy relationships with food have become too normal. I know very few people who eat ‘normally’ or have healthy attitudes about food and weight.

  9. Rachel says:

    The modeling agencies are full of shit, Sarah. It’s too bad that they don’t see the light and force beautiful women like yourself into feeling worthless because you didn’t starve yourself to nothingness and cadaverhood. THEY are the problem, not you. Not us. Again, I think they really like the “13 year old BOY” look too much. They’re fired!!

    If only it were that easy.

  10. Vanessa says:

    hehe. yes, i agree with elle. and anyone who objects to my making a point in a humerous and over-the-top way: get comfortable. you’re gonna have a lot to object to as time goes by.

    as for purging disorder- i don’t know. i mean, it seems kinof obvious to me that some people purge without binging, and there’s already “anorexia-purging type” for low weight bulimics. but maybe therapists really needed to be told this and doctors really needed a seperate classification for it? *shrug* the whole classification/DSM-IV situation with eds and with everything else is ridiculous. when i was in social work school i was taught to basically ignore dignoses. use them solely for insurance purposes, but otherwise ignore them because they were so often meaningless.

  11. mamavision says:

    Hi Josie: Thanks for starting the post on the forum on this, I think its important information, some info I may even pass on to the researcher studying this since I thing “real life” stories go a long way.

  12. mamavision says:

    Hi Vanessa: Although I like your high-spirited remarks, I really do, I think some of your points are lost in the translation because you exagerate my viewpoints (tsunami?myanmar? c’mon take a breath here). Just an observation, as always, express yourself at will!

    Yes, I made the ProAna statement to make an semi exagerated point myself (so I am guilty too), BUT I can’t help cringing when I read those posts with girls in a frenzy over consuming broccoli or two tablespoons of peanut butter. Those opinions are out there so we can’t ignore them right?

    Also, on the whole obesity side of things. I have shyed away from this stating “different problem, different solutions” but I have been pondering this for a few months. I’m going to expresss this in a youtube video shortly, but basically this is all about disordered eating – either we eat too much, we eat too little, we feel guilty and start a diet, we feel good but it is short lived.

    My point is that the obesity problem is part of the disordered eating problem in general, more on this later. Let’s keep this conversation going because it’s an important one.

    Question for all of you -if you don’t like feeling full, why?


  13. Vanessa says:

    mamaV- being in a frenzy over consuming small amounts of food is literally what having the restricting-type of ed is about. it has nothing to do with proana. why do you conflate the two? why do you blame proana for eating disorders, rather than taking a more balanced view, for instance- that proana perpetuates eds and may contribute to their formation, in some cases?

  14. Hannarrr says:

    Hi I’d just like to say that you are pretty much my hero. Especially your comment about anybody who glamourises eating disorders.

    Also perhaps you should do a post on xanga as it has a HUGE pro-ana movement, and although there are quite a few real cases of eating disorders and people on the road to recovery a lot of it is just thinspiration and tips and tricks for girls who fantasize about the prospect of being to invent their own eating disorder

    -Hannah x

  15. Danyel says:

    People just amaze me. How they discover things, you know? Things that people have been crying out for help from for.. how long now? I don’t know, I just wish people would start taking us seriously.
    I love your posts, MamaV. I had a dream you Emailed me a very mean email. It made me cry. Very weird. My dreams lately have been disturbing.

  16. Sass1948 says:

    for me, feeling full = feeling failure and panic. the feelings are so negative i just avoid ever feeling full…it’s been a while now since i can even remember having a full tum! also, the study of purging disorder is good, bringing awareness but, late coming.

  17. Kim says:

    i guess for me i dont like feeling full because i dont trust my feelings. after so long of having anorexia i honestly dont have hunger sensations anymore (or cant recognize them now) so if i dont know when im hungry how will i know if i am full? so i feel full immediately and while this is probably psychological i dont know how to change it.

  18. Kim says:

    ignore my last comment, its stupid. sorry.

  19. Anon says:

    the more i read of this site, the more i am beginning to resent it, or hate it…i dont know but my silence is beginning to get to me. I used to like this site. alot. but more and more the site has becme less abiout getting the word of pro ana out there, and helping those who want it, but more against mamav’s personal hatred for what she considers “pro ana”. now, dont get me wrong, some of what mamav says is completel valid, but mamav seems to be so blindsighted about other aspects to it. mYes i agree in the cursade against those who willing give out tips. But not all of them do! hello…most pro anas go to these sites because it is full of other girls who understand what they are feeling and are there to lisetn. No offence mama but from the look of it you only go to these sites, looking for the one off comment from someone that happens to say something along the lines of being in a renzy over broccoli….most people probably replied saying not to worry and ofer their support for the anxiety this person was feeling. The pro ana sites i have gone to REFUSE

  20. Anon says:

    to allow any kind of tips given out, and will comepletly shun wanarexics who come on there speciifcally lookinf for tips.

    This crusede against these sites, is getting old and boring. Whether or not you realise it mama, you are acutually advertising these sites. And please stop these annoying bashing you seem to have against the fashion indusrty and and media. its not the sole blame for ED’s.

  21. Elle says:

    Although it is good that the medical community will finally recognize purging as a disorder no matter how much you eat before a purge, I am frustrated by our need as a species to classify everything. The medical profession is especially guilty of over classifying things and then when you don’t exactly match the classification, you are either “healthy’ or exaggerating your problem.

    On the other hand, we are having a growing problem of creating a disorder for everyone. We are all probably “disordered” somehow. No one is “normal”. But once we slap a medical diagnosis on something we have absolved anyone of any responsibility. “This kid has ADHD. It has nothing to do with our factory like schools that expect all children to be exactly the same.” “This girl has an ED. It has nothing to do with society’s constant growing pressures on people to be perfect, happy, and successful.”

    On being full: I think most people don’t know what full feels like. Most people have been taught since childhood to “clean their plates”. People keep eating past being full to the point of being overly full which most equate to “full”. I hate feeling overly full.

  22. Rachel says:

    About being full: I don’t really like it. Although this problem has subsided as I’ve lost weight, I still don’t like being full because I feel out of control. I then can’t curl up into a little ball and I have to just lay there like a beached whale. That’s not my idea of fun. I’ve also adjusted *how* I eat and planning my eating times so when he wants to go for lunch, I haven’t just eaten a hearty whole-grain breakfast and then when I don’t want to eat after that, I get a strange look from him. So, if I wake up too late and I know that I’ll be eating lunch in an hour or two, I’ll just skip breakfast. I find it more comfortable that way, I consume less calories, but i consume enough. Am I making sense right now??

  23. mamavision says:

    Hi Vanessa: Let’s clarify where I stand on proana and fashion as a whole. They are ingredients to the bigger problem, contributors. Other contributors are family, environment, other media, diet industry, you name it. I choose to focus on fashion because I have lived it and pro ana because the whole concept is appauling.

    Not just appauling really, but totally disrepectful to those who are suffering from real EDs. I have come to know a great many girls through this blog, those who I consider friends, and I can not even imagine suffering as they do- and then seeing these pure vanity Thinspiration video crap plastered everywhere.

    Now do I believe pro ana’s themselves need guidance and help? Certainly, but they aren’t going to get any pussyfooting around from me, its not my style and they need to be woken up and fast. Not so much because I feel they are in danger but because they are so vain and disrepectful to what is a true mental disease from hell.

    Pro ana evolved out of the web, because individuals finally had a platform for discussion. Through this discussion, I feel they collaborate rather than support (my opinion only).

    So why bring pro ana into this discussion? Because I find endless posts about panic over a “binge.” Binge in the pro ana world is like a good diet day for a regular person. Its frightening. It’s like a total brainwash, I mean c’mon how can you honestly be freaking out over eating too much broccoli?

    In the bigger picture, I understand the pro ana world is just this huge mismash of individuals all trying to have their say. It’s hard to sort through it all, but there is no doubt there are real girls with real eds mixed in the proana sites (not wannabes) and the last place I think they should be going for help is a pro ana forum.


  24. mamavision says:

    Hi Anon: Please read the above post to Vanessa, it speaks to many of your points.

    What you have to say is valid, you know this stuff gets old for me too. Many times I make points on a particular topic, and I don’t give my full view of the issues/causes – and I do point the finger at fashion and pro ana most times.

    I will do a better job at stating myself more clearly, and remembering all the other factors involved with the eating disordered culture we live in.

    Thanks for your point, I do appreciate it.

  25. panda07 says:

    “c`mon how can you honestly be freaking out over eating too much broccoli?”
    did you really suffer with an ed? i thought that was your point,that you KNOW the mindset of people that struggle/live with an ed!*shakes head* but you just asked the question “how can you be freaking out” WHAT!

  26. Hannarrr says:

    @ panda07 – I think it was meant to be rhetorical -_-

  27. Lily says:

    The broccoli thing- I think if a person has no ed, goes on pro-ed site, and gets, from being influenced by others or brainwashed to believe that eating to much broccoli is a problem then that is an awful thing-
    but for those of us with EDs, freaking out over scenarios like this is what we live with daily. I have to agree with Panda- I’m really confused- are you saying to ppl with EDs how on earth can we freak out over broccoli??? cause this is the reality of an eating disorder MamaV.
    Or are you speaking about the wanarexic type who ‘learn’ to freak out over such things?

    Ack, it is so confusing- Elle makes a very good point about the obsession with Classification. I’m not even sure we can draw a line between wanarexics and anorexics- its prob more a continum right? And yes, I agree that there is brain washing going on on these pro-ana sites to individuals who otherwise would not have eds, or ed behaviour- but MamaV
    people who actually have EDs dont need brainwashing to freak over broccoli, or thinspiration to keep going on their weightloss obsession- it unfortunetly all happens on its own inside our heads.

    So are you targetting the ppl who havent EDs who might have tendencies or something and trying to stop them from visiting pro-ana sites? Is that the plan? sorry if this post doesnt make sense, I am rightly confused!

    Lily xxx

  28. Vanessa says:

    seconded panda07 and lily- “how can you be freaking out over broccoli” makes it sound like you literally have no understanding of what happens to peoples minds when they have REAL eds. not proana! not fake! real.

    for instance. i was once at a treatment program, and it was my first day. i had to eat my first supervised meal, and i basically refused to eat it. i was just totally overwhelmed and had had no idea what i was getting into. so after the meal i was given a choice of drinking one small meal replacement drink, or leaving the treatment program. and i eventually choked the thing down, but it took me and hour and i was in hysterical tears most of that time.

    was there a logical part of me that understood this was a 250 calorie meal replacement drink and wasn’t going to hurt me or make me instantly fat? maybe. but that logical part was nowhere to be found. i felt pure terror.

  29. Lily says:

    Oh Vanessa, I hear you- I was on those replacement drinks back in my ana days- they were a horror, the panic of not knowing what would happen if I drank them, giving up that control, eating disorders are far more powerful than any logic, they own you.

    Lily xxx

  30. Anon says:

    i third, fourth and fifth panda07. mamav think very carefully about some of things you are saying, or you go to say. you seem to write them when your in some kind of irrational state over reading something you dont like, and most likely jumping to one to many wrong conclusions.

    You seem to be on this mission to blame proana forums, the media and fashion. Thats because the fashion indusrty is what TRIGGERED your ED. I say triggered mamav becauase there is no sole blame. Whether you choose to admit it or not, before you entered the fashion world there was obvisouly something inside of you already unhappy. The fashion world played on it therefore triggering it. But mama, not everyones deep emotional problems which led them to ED come from this. I know many, many many girls (me included) who can say that it comes from family or school problems. If you ever bothered reading any other posts that girl who said about the broccoli things had written you may find the same thing…that it was something other than fashion or the media. I’m not saying fashoin isnt to blame…it just doesnt help.

    your obviously harbouring some very angry feelings towards what happened to you when you werea model, and noone can blame you for that, but how aboutstop looking for blame and dealing with those feelings?! Girls come here for help and all i can see it you calling them stupid for whatever feelings they have. This site makes them feel worthless, and the pro ana forums is where they can go to be heard and not made to feel weak and pathetic.

  31. Sass1948 says:

    lol @ Anon, how serious do you take yourself?! lol.. personally, pro ana sites make me feel like a loon among loons. “this site makes them feel worthless” speak for yourself please, not for the collective.

  32. Elle says:

    Anon, there many be many things that i don’t agree with mamaV about, but i do think that she has helped many people. I have probably made more comments in disagreement with her than in praise of her, but I don’t constantly repeat myself over and over. (ah hem)

    The issue of eating disorders is quite huge, and I tend to think in very big picture terms; I can’t disassociate one issue from another that is connected. Everything is connected. I have often commented about the many other factors other than the fashion industry and “proana” on this site. But i do realize that at some point you need to focus. MamaV has choosen to focus on some factors in anorexia that she is concerned about. However, she has also shown many times her willingness to learn and expand her focus.

  33. mamavision says:

    Anon and all: Ok let’s discuss the broccoli comment.

    1) If you click the link provided you will see the young woman has broken her 4 day fast and utilizes an icon of Hillary Duff as her thinspo. Sorry, but I don’t understand how this individual is supposed to be perceived as anything but a wannarexic.

    2) I would not be so disrespectful to the ED community to imply that a person suffering from and ED based in mental illness is stupid or irrational for freaking out over eating broccolli. The majority of this community have “real” EDs and I support them fully. I know they did not choose their disorder and they would like nothing more than to be free of their ED.

    3) If I was not a model, I probably would not have ever had an ED. My “disordered eating” and obsessive exercise was purely a result of the modeling I chose to engage in.

    I was not some sorry, sad person when at 16 I jumped at the chance to go live in Paris and be a model….I was a damn happy teenager that was lucky as hell to get the opportunity to travel and be independent- it made me who I am today. I had no idea what I was in for, and that is the reason I focus on the fashion industry influence. I would like to forewarn those who desire this lifestyle, I would never tell a girl not to be a model because I believe you have to follow your passion, I just would like them to head into the venture informed because I was not.

    In terms of dealing with my feelings about fashion? I am, I am dealing with them here. This happens to be my blog, and a blog is about self expression. No?

    My goal however is to help others. The day I feel like I am not doing that, I will quit because then there is no purpose in this.


    PS You are correct – I am on a mission to blame pro ana, fashion and the media for our societies obsession with beauty and thinness. This mission is stated clearly on the homepage, and has been since day one. I am not sure why you want to try to change my mission but have at it.

  34. mamavision says:

    Hi Elle: Thank you, well said.

    Focus is the key.

    Readers need to make assumptions when reading my posts…assumptions based on what my stated purpose is. I am not going to name every single factor involved in an ED situation- that misses the point on a post.

    I am going to focus in on 1) fashion 2) pro ana 3) other media because my belief is this is the core.

    This is the core for some individuals, but for a great many it is not. For a great many these factors don’t have a damn thing to do with their ED.

    If this is not clear at this point, I need to rethink how I have my mission statement written because frankly, reiterating this and defending my point is getting to me a bit.

    Perhaps I need to start posting a disclaimer at the end of the posts in tiny type that states all these facts so I don’t have to be bashed around so much!

    Thanks again, your comments are appreciated!

  35. Anon says:

    sass, i actually take myself seriously. i have spoken and still speak to many girls who left this site cos it made the, feel worthless. i never mentioned specifics, and i was speaking collectivly because of the girls i have spoken to. Also this blog has people like yyou on here. You dont agree with one thing someone has to say because its against what mamv has to say and you start gettting personal.

    mamav i didnt mean to say that at 16 you were already unhappy..i agree with you anyone would jump at the chance…hell i would!, i just meant that something in you sub concious was probably already unhappy or angry at something and the modelling world triggered it into your conscious. okk you made your point the fashion, but tell me, when you take quotes off what girls said on pro ana sites have you specifically joined them to take quotes? cos i get your whole if its on the internet then its public property, but those sites are password protected making it private property. If that girl came across this site seeing you had used what she said, how do you think she willl feel?! but not just that girl, i mean any girls you use as examples.

  36. Sass1948 says:

    i repeat then, speak for yourself, not for the collective :-)

  37. Vanessa says:

    i don’t know how a professional would distinguish a wanna from someone with a real ed… it’s definitely beyond my abilities, at least until i get to know someone over time, and even then i don’t like putting people in such narrow boxes. but i hope a professional wouldn’t categorize anyone based off what avatar they use on some online site. my avatar on my home forum is spider jerusalem, a crazy journalist in a futuristic comic book series. and as far as i know spider jerusalem doesn’t have an eating disorder… just a drug problem. so i’m not sure, but by your logic… i guess i must really be a guy since i like comics and have a male avatar, and i must not have an eating disorder, since my avatar doesn’t… right?

  38. Anon says:

    and i repeat myself sass, i was speaking collectivly. About the girls i have spoke to who have been on here and LEFT because it made them feel WORTHLESS.

    vanessa, i guess online a professional wouldnt really be able to tell. i mean somone can write down all the feelings they have, ubut for all a professional knows they arent following through on them. I guess they would have to meet face to face befor any kind of diagnosis would be made. xxxxxx

  39. Vanessa says:

    anon- yeah, exactly. no offense, mamaV but it’s harder than you seem to recognize to tell the wannas from people with real eds, even for those of us with real eds immersed in the communities…

  40. mamavision says:

    Hi Sass: It does concern me if girls have left this community because they felt “worthless” – this is not the goal, at all. I want to know more about what Anon is refering too.

    I would also like to understand more about how the pro ana sites made you feel worthless- why?


  41. mamavision says:

    Vanessa: Trust me, I hear ya. Here’s one for you, is this girl pro ana or no?



  42. mamavision says:

    Hi Rachel: I think your point about feeling full makes you feel out of control, makes complete sense. I would say though, a “normal” person who eats a bit too much would simply get moving a bit, and within 10-15 minutes the fullness goes away….and there is no more focus on the full feeling because it is gone.

    In the case of someone who has a purging disorder, I would think that psychologically, the feeling of fullness would get exaggerated in the mind, and it would escalate to the point that the moment the food hits the stomach there is a desire to get it out.

    What do you think?

  43. mamavision says:

    Hi Josie: This is a really good point, its like eating habits have become so disordered, what is normal is clouded. I just recorded a video talking about obesity and will be uploading it today, it touches on this point and brings it up for further discussion.

  44. Vanessa says:

    mamaV- that girl is waaaaay more proana than i am, thats for damn sure. thats the one who everyone freaked out over you calling her “a pro ana” when you used her picture? LMAO. anyone who thinks that isn’t proana is either smoking crack or deliberately trying to define proana as narrowly as possible so that they can go on sharing tips and perpetuating disease among themselves and others.

  45. Josie says:

    I feel like ‘wannarexic’ and ‘pro-ana’ are getting confused in this discussion. They’re not the same thing.

  46. Vanessa says:

    i agree josie, and i think that mamav often conflates the two. as if the only people with “real” eds are the ones that spend all their time bemoaning their fate, wishing they could only recover, and are horrified by the existence of proana. in reality, it is classic anorexia to deny that what you’re doing is a problem and to resist treatment until you’re at death’s door, and otherwise refuse to recognize that you need help. which is why proana makes sense to many many real anorexics. and then you add people with bulimia, also a real ed btw, who often are overweight or normal weight and want to lose weight, either in a healthy or unhealthy way. and then you add ed-nos.

    its not that i expect mamaVISION to constantly explain all the little nuances of everything, but sometimes a little more nuance would be nice when talking about proana.

  47. Anon says:

    vanessa i agree with you to some extent. defienatly about the part how anorexics think they dont have a problem, but not so much about the bulimia. i for one am not anorexic, so could never imagine what an anorexic goes through nor do i pretend to. but i am bulimic. for me its not about losing weight…..at least not anymore. i am at a perfectly normal weight, and of course i am preoccupied with weight and food all the time, but my bulimia, my binging and purging, thats about control and expressing my feelings. it may not be the “right way” and of course i have often thought about recovery and been told my dr’s and people that i am killing myself, but i dont see a way of it happening. I cant imagine my life without uit. a lot of bulimia is about control. not so much about losing weight. i guess in a way bulimia and anorexia are the same…and also very different. ED NOS i think is for people who are just skating the thin line between “normal” and “ED’d” I dontdeny they dont have pain and arent going through hell….they just havent reached that certain point, and propbably are easier to recover than someone already there. After dont we all start out ED NOS…because you cant fit the criteria straight away.

    mamav, girls have left anf felt worthless because some of the stuff you put on here and how you express it. for instance when you sai “i know i know we shouldnt make fun of eating disorders but…” you actuvly go on to support those barf bags,how the hell would someone who had bulimia not feel ashamed at that?! that something they have is actually oathetic enough forpeople to make fun of…even though they know its a serious problme. real serious…hello they are maing fun of it! you dont see people making fun off rape victims and domestic abuse..yet they are both serious problems on the rise as well…

    mamav i do applud you on how your trying to help people. i really do. i think its couragous and gusty and you have obviously helped others gain the courage to recover…..i just also think some of what your saying can be just as damaging. thats all.

  48. Josie says:

    Anon – i’m so with you on the barf bags. That nearly drove me to tears, but i couldn’t admit it. I’m glad there’s someone else who feels thesame.

  49. Anon says:

    josie, thats so sad you feel you couldnt say anything. I also felt the same, but so much persoanlly and on here has been boiling inside me i needed to get it out. i looked at that add, and i felt so weak and ashamed that i have a problem that is clearly worth taking the piss out off. And all it did for me was to make me reach out for more food to binge on and purge after….not want to recover. sweetie, if you feel you need to vent becaus you have read somehting you dont like or has made you feel ashamed…then vent!! * sending you huge hugs* xxxx

  50. mamavision says:

    Josie and Anon! Please, please please, always say how you feel. This is so very important. I see now that both you and Anon felt this way…how many other girls left hurt and won’t come back.

    I guess this comes down to trust. Again, please trust that my heart is in the right place, writing is hard, all feelings can not always be clearly expressed. Blogging is something that you write and launch the story when you think you have covered you bases, and manytimes you fail.

    I count on you girls to express yourself…thank you for doing so now…and please let it rip on this topic, I want to understand this fully so I don’t make the same mistake again.

    Plus I read on the forum that girls felt I don’t focus on bulimia enough, so perhaps I need to get more balanced. Josie, you helped with this a while back when you would correct me when I would say anorexia, or a specific ED, you would generally come back with clarifications, which i appreciate.

    Anyway, don’t ever be afraid to tell me your feelings- you can always email privately and let me have it! mamavision@gmail.com


  51. Rachel says:

    Hi Mama,

    I’m going to respond to your response to my fullness comment.

    I think that you hit the nail right on the head with the psychological part of purging disorder. That is when a person feels guilt, shame, etc for eating a normal meal. Yes, from the moment the food hits the stomach. EDs, and disorders in general are all about exaggerated feelings. And going to the very, very core of the problem, there is a lack of a certain chemical that triggers “normal” feelings concerning food, cleanliness, whichever.

    Yes, there is a desire to make the food exit from my body, be it through laxatives, compulsive exercise, or fasting. Those are my methods. If I don’t vomit it, then I don’t really have a problem then, and all is well. So goes the mind of a mentally ill individual.

    I would never, *EVER* binge because I think that feeling full is the worst feeling in the world. A “normal” meal can be terrifying to me with the aftereffects, but I am slowly learning to note that if I have not eaten anything substantial for the day, a “normal” meal will stretch my stomach and what I am feeling is that stretching, not actually being full capacity.

    So, with this whole “purging disorder” finally being classified, I’ve got the feeling of “A-HAH!” I go between wanting to purge, not eating, purging by the three aforementioned methods, and I just float between all of those. I can never, *EVER* binge. My “binges” are not. I know this rationally. I know this whilst taking the meds. Mental instability is very, very powerful and I have fallen prey on many occasions.

    Whew. That took guts to spill all that out.. I need a drink.

  52. Sass1948 says:

    i dont disagree with everyone who disagrees with mamav, dont generalise anon as well as speak for me, heavens above!

  53. Josie says:

    MamaV – sorry i didn’t say anything. Not like me 😉 haha
    I think saying “eating disorder” is probably the best thing, as it covers them all but a person stumbling on the site would have some idea of what you’re on about.

  54. Kim says:

    sorry to be off subject, more seem to come here then to forum site. what is paracetamol and is it available in the us?

  55. Kim says:

    nevermind, found it on google

  56. Sass1948 says:

    lol @ kim

  57. Anon says:

    sass i cant be bothered for you anymore. i said what i had to say…lets just agree to disagree.

  58. Sass1948 says:

    good its about time you left me alone

  59. Vanessa says:

    excuse me? its about time anon left you alone? dude as far as i can tell the second someone says something you disagree with you go all personal-attack crazy. you certainly did that to me just recently, and here you did the exact same with anon. don’t play the victim! you’re the agressive, mean spirited one here- at least so far as i can see.

  60. Cara says:

    I know a girl who basically has purging disorder… she actually makes videos on YouTube, under the name eastcoastgirl14. Purging disorder is a real phenomenon, and can be just as damaging to the health as anorexia, bulimia, or EDNOS. Also, people with purging disorder can be JUST as obsessed about food, weight, etc, as people with other eating disorders.

  61. Courtney says:

    I’m curious as well how much the full feeling is attributed to the chemical vs. the psychological. I eat small amounts and feel a too full feeling immediately, but I have no idea whether that is my mind or my body’s doing.

    I don’t like feeling full because it’s uncomfortable, makes me feel very uneasy. The moment I swallow the first bite of anything, I immediately feel I need to purge it. My anxiety is stimulated. My mind is screaming loudly and I can focus on little else while having a full stomach. Panic is induced. It’s as if an alarm goes off and the only thing I can think about is “I need to get it out, someway somehow.” Also, a mild nausea sets in. Four baby carrots can throw my body into a frenzy of anxiety. Like something is crawling underneath my skin.

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