Rexy Moss, part 2

I’ll say it in a sentence: Anyone who glamorizes anorexia, or any eating disorder for that matter, I will chew to shreds.

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Whether it be a be a drug-addicted model, or a wannarexic posting on a lame pro anoreaxia blog – it’s no holds barred.  I am on a mission here, and I make not apologies if I offend.

You girls proved my sad point for me through your comments on my first post on Kate Moss, and my anger on her ignorantly calling herself “rexy.”

Not only are you unable to see your own natural beauty, you are unable to see Kate Moss’ ugliness because desirable thin frame is in your face.

“I would die for her bony legs,” says Kristin.

“This post makes me sad, I love Kate Moss,” says Danielle.

Do you know who’s legs I want? MINE. Yes, my 38 year old mom legs with a little cellulite here and there, along with few a “honorable” bruises from wrestling with my 4 year old boy Sid.

I want to get you to a place that you want nothing more than your self.

What is there to LOVE about Kate Moss? Let’s back up. Once there was a young beauty named Kate, who had the world by the ass. She was admired by millions and had an overflowing bank account, of which she has likely pissed away on heroin and cocaine. All the while, her little daughter Lily stands in the background, watching her mother chase her drugs and druggy boyfriend.

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As her mother makes a fool of herself on a daily basis, the world continues to flock around her. Mom is busted snorting a line, no matter, she will still smile for our cameras because we are determined to not let her go. Her face is admired and desired throughout the world because she is oh-so-rexy.

Drug problem? Kate’s problem- and her daughters. Not yours, not mine. Do I hope she is able to beat it? Of course. Kate is a lost soul.

But she is a lucky one, she has more resources available for help then any one of us could ever hope for, so hopefully she will come to a place within herself that she is able to get cleaned up.

Why did not one of you mention her daughter Lily? She celebrated her 3rd birthday by herself while her mom sits in rehab only to run back to this clown. Do you realize what that does to a kid?

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As a mom, I know this much. Your children need you, each and every day. Actually, every second. You need to be aware, alert, and ready to serve their needs. If you do not put yourself aside those first few precious years, and provide them with unconditional love……well, I don’t need to tell you what can be the result.

I once chased a druggy boy too. It took me about 6 years to rid myself of him, only after I sat around smoking joints and doing way too many bongs with him, not to mention worrying my parents to death. At 17, I remember coming home from drug happy Paris, to my little midwestern hometown only to find all my high-school friends snorting lines on a mirror. I was pissed off that they didn’t have enough sense to walk away. I made a choice not to take it further. We make choices. Kate has made hers. Now she has a big hole to dig her self out of.

But all of this is really irrelevant to me because she can do whatever the hell she wants to…just don’t promote anorexia, or I am going to hammer you to my hearts content. Because day in and day out I am concerned with girls who are stuck. Stuck in their fear of fat.

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-mamaV

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61 Responses to Rexy Moss, part 2

  1. Danielle says:

    Erm…are you making fun of me?

  2. Nats says:

    I think kate moss is a muppet who needs to get a life! That poor child is going grow up with a very bad example set for her. Sad

  3. Sass1948 says:

    go mamav! yey

  4. Vanessa says:

    argh! i hate disagreeing with someone who i agree with in so many ways!

    buuuuut… i just believe in empathy and gentle persuasion. if anyone is interested, i recently posted about romanticizing anorexia on my blog. basically, i think most of us with eds romanticize anorexia. i think it’s important to combat those tendencies within ourselves. but the only difference i see between what i do in my head and what moss did in her comments was that she happens to get a lot more publicity. i don’t romanticize my ed because i want to be sick or i want others to be, i do it because i’m trying to cope on a daily basis and look myself in the mirror. one way to do this is pretend my ed is a virtue in some way.

    so go ahead and cheer mamaV on for her sarcasm and lack of empathy. but if you want to help yourself recover instead of slagging an easy target try looking at the ways you minimize or romantisize your own ed, and think about ways you could combat that in your own life.

  5. hillary says:

    Danielle, i don’t think she was making fun of you at all. i think what you said just exemplified her point, so she chose to use it.

  6. Michelle says:

    I never want to be ‘rexy.’ I don’t think what I do is beautiful at all.
    I don’t think that bones are all that great, I mean, I love my collar bones, sure, but even at a healthy weight you can see those. Face bones are so concrete, though, so ugly. I love my cheeks because they are full and make me look beautiful.
    My legs, sure they aren’t bone skinny, they are horribly fat, either. They have a little bit of cellulose here and there, but that’s because I’m too darn lazy to exercise right now.
    My arms? Well, I can put my thumb and my pinky finger together, but just barely. Anyway, did you know that it is healthy to be able to touch your ring finger and your thumb? Anything more, you’re too skinny.
    My stomach.. well it’s flat when I want it to be, but when I’m sitting, it’s a tad bit harder to suck in. That’s ok, though.

    Once I get into shape this next year at college, I won’t have as much cellulose.. I won’t have as much fat, I’ll have muscles instead.

    But you know what? I never want to be like her. I never want to be like anyone else. I want to be just me. I guess the problem in that is just finding out who exactly I am, first, you know? How to get that extreme confidence in myself, how to get that extreme self-esteem for my body. It’s going to be hard, but I don’t want to be anyone but me.

    God put me on this Earth for a reason.. and I would hate to miss that chance for something as silly as what I look like.

    That was an extremely positive post.. and well I’ll be honest, I don’t feel this way all the time, but I always try to keep myself in check. Keep it real. Because sometimes my ED doesn’t seem very realistic. Which is why I am always trying to find a tag to put on it, Josie (If you read this). I just don’t feel like everything that I am doing is realistic. I am a very realistic person. Everything has to be something, and if it isn’t, then gosh darn, I will find a name for it.

    I really enjoy reading your posts, MamaV, about the different ladies who are big time who are uber skinny. Specially when you criticize them. I just want the entire world to read these and realize that there are people struggling and I just want sense knocked into everyone’s head. Gosh I hate these new generations of people coming out. The vast majority doesn’t seem to care anymore. And it sucks!

  7. Michelle says:

    oops I meant “aren’t horribly fat, either”

  8. levo says:

    Perhaps too many models actually suffer from drug induced anorexia, and each time they
    take some more fix they feel good ,strong,confident and elated and the body and mind enventually is
    hopelessly tricked into and endless downward spiral.

  9. Charlotte says:

    I feel as if people did not see the point of your post but they felt that you were just bashing Kate Moss. I agree, anybody who promotes this disorder as a glamorous thing to have should be bashed. The first model that attracted me, when I became aware with what is on the internet to promote eating disorders, was Kate Moss and she used to be plastered all over pro-ana websites more than any other model five years ago. She sets a horrible example for young girls no matter if she is a nice person or not.

  10. Vanessa says:

    i disagree with everything you just said charlotte. i for one certainly understood the post. i just disagree with mamaV’s methods of “helping” the proana community. no one who is clearly ill deserves to be bashed. it is absolutely possible to make the same points without resorting to making fun of someone’s drug problem.

    i hope no one is surprised that danielle felt like she was being made fun of- whether mamaV meant to make fun of her or not is besides the point. if you’re sarcastic and cruel in your posts as a regular thing people are going to assume they’re being made fun of or belittled.

    maybe the real problem is that mamaV thinks that people who have eating disorders are a hazard to those that don’t have one yet, and that we’ll pollute the general population with our disordered thinking? that we ought to just snap out of it like she apparently did? and that by making fun of us she can prevent young people from being led astray by our wickedness?

  11. Michelle says:

    I think what MamaV is trying to say..
    Kate Moss is making our disorder seem like an amazing thing.
    Like everyone should have it.

    I think we have every right to make fun of her.
    How ignorant Kate is that she thinks it’s sexy to be bone thin. It’s NOT healthy and it’s NOT sexy. I know that is just my opinion, but the healthy part isn’t just my opinion, it is many others’, such as doctors and specialists.
    Does Kate not realize that there are many girls just like us who are going through what she is, but UNINTENTIONALLY?

    She is making herself how she is. She is fully conscious of the fact that she is too skinny.

    Yes, she has a disease like us,
    But I consider her a ‘wannarexic’… she doesn’t seem to have her eating disorder because she is afraid of gaining weight, she is striving to be anorexic, striving to be skinny, striving to be what she considers sexy.

    Maybe it started because she was afraid of weight gain.. maybe she didn’t even ask for it at first. But she sure is making it seem like gold to not eat and smoke and be stick thin.

    It is a person like this that makes me just want to blow up because it’s not healthy. Not in the slightest. It’s like teaching your child to cuss at a young age.

    Don’t you get it? It’s just not right.

  12. sally says:

    Kate Moss….

    You know… everyone has made mistakes in their life… Hell… if i was in the public eye and everything that I did was put on the cover of a magazine then im sure id have a reputation a lot worse then Kates.

    How dare ANYONE decide if she has an eating disorder or not. Do you even know her? have you met her? then how the hell can any of you say that she does or doesnt have an ED.

    The pictures they put in that article could be nothing but triggering. How would YOU like it if your every zit, your every inch of cellulite, every little flaw you have is zoomed in on and pointed out?

    Im sure I have said things in the past that i shouldn’t have said. Haven’t we all?

    When you have that kind of status it is very easily to be misled, people play you, no one is REALLY your friend, everyone you meet is fake, its a lonely world out there, especially for someone with that kind of status.

    I myself work in the media industry and can tell you that almost all of the bullshit they write is just to make $$$$$, magazines will say ANYTHING for a quick buck, they will manipulate what celebrities say to work their way, they will edit EVERYTHING.

    Im sure you could get some messed up message from this comment… all you need to know is how to cut copy and paste.

    I love how you think of yourself so highly

    “I once chased a druggy boy too. It took me about 6 years to rid myself of him, only after I sat around smoking joints and doing way too many bongs with him, not to mention worrying my parents to death.”

    Is that all Pete is? a druggy boy? Have you met him? do you know him well? …. no?? well gee… thats a broad generalization to say that is all he is, maybe its because that is ALL YOU HEAR about him.

    Its a tough world out there, pointing out flaws and mistakes makes a hell of a lot more money then anything else.

    So before you start believing every word you read, maybe you should think about some of the things you have done in your life…. would you like the world to know about it? would you like it plastered on every magazine cover every time you did something stupid? wouldn’t you LOVE it if most of the story was absolute bullshit? so know-it-all people like you can brainwash naive readers into believing everything they read.

    sure she said something wrong… IF SHE EVEN SAID IT AT ALL…. but she really doesn’t deserve to be judged like this just because some dickhead wrote an article that you all blindly believe.

    journalists laugh at people like you…. all the way to the bank!

  13. Sass1948 says:

    anyone taking mamav’s comment to heart is being narcissistic – there was no attack on you. not everything is about you either.

    the post is about setting a bad example. kate moss is in the media & she is a role model whether she likes it or not & she should know better.

    not everyone romanticizes their ED. Rexy comments influence those who do romanticize.

  14. Prime says:

    Well, this place got bitchy all of a sudden!

    Sally:- Working in the media industry, hm, good money, poor reputation i’m afraid.
    You’ll get no respect from me for doing so.

    Kate Moss:- My dad knows her personally, as he’s been to her house many times to fix her internet, he happens to work for British Telecoms and gets around a fair bit, now, she doesnt appear to have a real eating-disorder at all, she’s just a total coke-head.

    When i last went with my father to Kate’s house to help her put together a Cupboard from ikea, she was a total wreck, as according to my dad, she’s been EVERY time he’s round.

    She was twitchy, sniffly, and frequented the bathroom quite alot, yet upon a further snoop around, her house seems to be filled rarther plentifully with normal foods, nothing diet-orientated in particular, just plain foods you’d find in anyone elses house.

    As far as my conlusions lead me, Kate Moss is indeed a Wannarexic, and this is mostly fuelled by the Media’s pressure, and Cocaine among other drugs.

    Others who speculate otherwise, WITHOUT having met her to get REAL conclusions, aren’t really ones to trust on this matter.

    And FYI Sally, before you attempt to bitch at me:

    I don’t READ celebrity magazines, or ANY magazines for that matter, nor am i suckered in by the Media into believing its tripe, so as for your mindset that i’d be naieve, good luck proving it =]

  15. Sarah says:

    i guess i’m confused as to why we would bash someone with an eating disorder or drug addiction, in kate’s case, both. Yes, she is idolized by young girls, but she can not help having an eating disorder! just because she’s in the limelight has absolutely nothing to do with it. She can’t help having her problems, if she chooses to get help, good for her. if not, how many of us have actually REACHED out? I feel awful for her daughter. All of our families have suffered through our eating disorders right along side us. It’s a sad disease, that deserves attention, however I don’t think pointing our finger at other sufferers is going to fix much. Kate’s one of the wrold’s biggest supermodels, blame the fashion industry, not her.

  16. Amie says:

    hey everyone

    ok well i am so sick of people saying stuff about kate moss and really any other celebrity on pro ana sites, they didnt chose to be put on a pro ana site, they didnt make the sites like it is US, us with the ED’s that idolise these girls… i understand why mama is pissed off with the ‘rexy’ remark, but i dont agree with the peeps going on about how kate moss it such a bad role model to us, i am so annoyed! Kate moss has one responsibility and thats her daughter and to be a good role model to her… yeah she is pretty much screwing that up… but she has NO RESPONSIBILITY to any of us, she doesnt owe us anything! WE the girls with ED’s have put kate moss on a pedestool and have glamourised her etc.. this is what pro ana is all about… DUH?!

  17. Amie says:

    and to add to my post… i am probably just as guilty as Kate Moss… when i talk to my counsellors etc about my ed sometimes i talk it up, make it sound great! that i have the self control and i wont be fat etc, and so many girls with ed’s talk like this, so maybe we should all start doing some self reflecting and concentrate on ourselves before we ‘bash’ (so uh why are we using violence!?) kate moss, someone who cant comment back and explain herself. How do we even know Kate said ‘rexy’, the media will say and do anything to get a story?!

  18. Amie says:

    prime – i love how a computer technician has the qualifications to say if someone has an ed or not, i have a friend who is ‘a coke head’ and she suffers from an ed… so does that not make her have an ed either? ED’s are intangled in so many different things, self-harm, drug and alcohol use, its all to cope with the ed, the ed is to cope with the shit! i doubt kate would say or do much while a computer technician was in her home… like he is a computer nerd… there not like ‘a list’ people!
    vanessa- I agree with you on this one…. again!

  19. Gina says:

    This is sad.
    I think about how she’s just throwing her life away & the examples she setting for young girls.
    But omgsh I dont think I would care about anything if I looked like her.

  20. Josie says:

    wwwooo lively debate :)

    Sally makes a great point – this all could be misinterpretations & she’s right that we shouldn’t let the media tell us exactly what to think … because isn’t that what we’re trying to fight?! We’re trying not to hear “thin is great” from them, so we shouldn’t let them dictate anything else.

    Whether Kate said the comment or not, whether she’s ill or not, the comment IS definitely wrong, and i think we’re all agreed on that one.

  21. Prime says:

    Amie:- Insult my father again, and i’ll tear you in two, simple as that, he’s been my rolemodel all my life, as a good, decent, strong and intelligent man, just because you’ve judged him immediatly because of the JOB he does, doesnt mean HE’S the stupid one, it probably means YOU are, for judging someone so quickly.

    My dad has spoken to Kate Moss as a BT Engineer, and a Friend, many many times, it isnt exactly in his job-specifications to go round Kate Moss’s house and help her build cupboards and chests of draws, when his job entails fixing and installing the internet and the like.

    He’s very familiar with what she’s like, and what she does, he knows she’s not got a REAL eating-disorder as she’s told him herself, she simply purges, restricts, and exercises to the point of near-death so that she can do adverts for things.

    And i hardly find it fitting for YOU to judge, seeing as you’ve never met the woman, nor spoken to hear in real life either, so the phrase “Pot calling the Kettle Black” comes to mind here.

    Personally, i find Kate Moss to be a rarther poor example of a human being, she’s a total wreck because of the amount of money she spends on drugs, and she’s a total whore for media-attention, if she wasnt, she wouldnt do EVERY SINGLE fucking “beauty” advert on the TV and in the Magazines.

    She’s a drug-addicted wannarexic sellout, to sum it up, not the kinda person that SHOULD be within view of impressionable girls.

  22. Amie says:

    prime…
    get over yourself.. ‘im going to tear you in two’ is that a threat? You dont even have an ed so why are you even looking at a pro recovery site? You have no idea, you cant see things the way we see things… you get angry at me for being judgemental but you are too, you have no idea who kate moss is as a person, the media pertray her as someone and everyone automatically believes it… i dont even like kate moss but im not going to say oh kate moss is a bad example… dont you understand, we as society put her where she is, she is a model thats is, she doesnt have to be an example, she doesnt owe us anything… she is a model and thats it. her personal life is her own life… period! prime, im not afriad of you, and its low to threaten someone when you dont agree…

  23. Prime says:

    Amie, i threaten you because you immediatly jumped in and judged my Father as someone he’s not, you didnt take ANYTHING into consideration, you just immediatly judged because of what he does for a living you hypocrit!

    I’m here because i feel its my duty to help others, because my girlfriend suffers every day because of this, and i dont want other people suffering and feeling lonely.

    And i’ve got a pretty fucking good idea of what its like, madame judgemental, i’ve had a relationship before josie with a girl named Shelly, who is completely Anorexic, has nearly died about 5 times, and cried every night before bed, because of being afraid she wouldnt wake up, i spoke with her at length about everything, and so i know the extreme side of ED’s, and after being with Josie for nearly 2 years now, i know about other sides of the ED’s too, i’m not this little naieve boy who’s trundled in here to talk, i’m here to help others with the fair amount of knowledge i have.

    I’m not judgemental about this whole ordeal, because i KNOW the woman, my dad KNOWS the woman, we’re not outsiders to her, why do you think she’d call us to help her build things outside of my dads work-hours?!

    Society idolizes her because of her figure, and her stupid “get the london look” adverts, she’s rich yeah, but its cost her her sanity and health, without makeup and airbrushing she looks like shite, and thats no joke, she’s pallid, emaciated, her hair is lank and dead-looking, she looks a state without 20 million beauticians to fake her up for the TV, and even then she still looks horrific in my opinion.

    And as i’ve said before on here, i don’t listen to the media, i dont buy the fucking magazines, your obviously here for a dig at me and to prove your own little stance, but its not going to work, you havent met the woman, you havent seen how ungrateful and ridiculous she is, she got HERSELF into this mess, she can jolly-well dig herself out too.

    And yet again, i threatened you because you insulted my Dad, my family, because your judgemental, you havent a clue about what my dad is like, nor what Kate Moss is REALLY like either.

  24. Amie says:

    prime
    get off your all mightly high horse and actually read what i am typing! im sorry about insulting your dad, i was out of line. But your not listening to what im saying, everyone on here is saying shit about how kate moss is so bad rarara and how she should be a good example rarara and oh she is pro ana rararara and oh all the pro ana sites show pics of her rarara than they dig at her saying she cant have an ed.. like no one knows if something has an ed or not, because you dont have to look like death to have one… but kate moss does look like death and it could be a mixture of both drugs and ed… kate moss owes me nothing, she is a model… she isnt paid to encourage girls or to be a good example. she is paid to see shit.. thats it.

  25. Prime says:

    Look, i’m getting ready to go home from Josie’s now, so i can’t talk much further, however, once i’m home and unpacked, i’ll continue this, as i see theres alot that needs clarifying here in this arguement.

  26. Amie says:

    prime
    this isnt an argument… lets call it a ‘healthy debate’ (stole your words nat)

  27. Nats says:

    Ok guys CHILL!! I understand why this topic would get people heated but remember, that what Kate moss is doing has nothing to do with us really! Yeah some people on here look up to her but that has NOTHING to do with what everyone here is trying to do. We are all here to get help, to try and recover, not argue with eachother. dont get me wrong, i think a healthy debabte is a good thing sometimes, we spend days, weeks, months at a time hiding what we feel, and yeah you should have freedom of speech in here but you guys are arguing about nothing. KATE MOSS IS A NOBODY!! She can only infuence us so far, same as mamaV i guess, we all look to her for help but not being funny she is not going to be here all the time, and for a start we can only get better, when we want to. no matter what kate moss is doing, no matter what fricking santa claus is doing, we are in charge of us! Forget everyone else, just be yourselves and deal with your own stuff rather than a nobody’s like Kate moss.

    Come on guys kiss and make up, you both have strong views and I feel its best to “agree to disagree” on this one,

    Love you both loads

    Nats
    xoxoxox

  28. Prime says:

    Well Nats, i can agree with you on the fact Kate Moss IS indeed a Nobody, she’s all washed up these days.

    She’s too thin, too ugly because of it, and is trying to be the kind of Londoner that she isnt, y’know the accent she puts on the adverts for like, eyeliner and things? thats COMPLETELY fake, chatting to her in her own living room, she’s obviously from the “More Reserved” side of London, she’s really got quite a posh voice, with a slight london hint, just more to add onto her long list of Fakes lol

    In the grand scheme of things, models will end up as having achieved nothing in life other than being thin, thats pretty much it.

    You’ll be oogled on some pages by 12-year olds hiding under their covers at 11’o clock at night, hoping “mommy” doesnt come in and catch them with the torch and magazine, thats pretty much it.

    All these scientists, doctors, paramedics, stuntmen, hardmen, bouncers, bikers and trikers, comedians and lovers, all those people will have achieved something in their lifes worth remembering, worth taking the time to make a gravestone for, worth mentioning,

    Lives will have been saved, made better, helped out, cheered up, filled with exhilliration and excitement, introduced to new and exciting things, everyone will remember these things.

    Being thin, isnt something to be remembered by, this is why catwalk models have no names, fashion rolemodels are looked up to today by children in their desire to be popular with the bitchy crowds, but in 50 years time, when we’re all still clinging onto life, or long gone, it’ll be the ones of us who cared, and loved, and laughed that’ll be remembered, not them.

    Point = Kate Moss won’t be remembered, just forgotten in a long line of drug-addicted fashion models, and its her own hole she’s dug to lay this legacy in.

    As for argueing / “healthy debating” with you Amie, i no longer wish to, i’m not here to make any more enemies than i already have, if you dislike my views and my experiences, so be it, its no longer a care of mine.

  29. Amie says:

    prime i disagree,
    being a model is a job, its just a job so like these girls still love and care and look after people, these girls are daughters, sisters, granddaughter, friends, lovers of people in the world… twiggy made a huge name for herself in the fashion industry and will be remembered throughout history for that, these girls are human and deserve to be loved and im not just talking about kate moss, you are categorising and being judgemental or any girl who has walked down a run way, most these girls do modeling as a job and than go to uni or work in other fields… my sister is a model and she is a nurse also… like i think people need to start getting the point, that modeling is a job and doesnt define the person… are you saying that mamav never achieved anything as a model… i think she would have

  30. Nats says:

    Prime- I agree that she will no longer be remembered, the only thing that is currently keeping her in the spot light is her drug addiction and her addiction to the twat they call Pete. Once those two have gone she will be a normal woman with a very confused child. I really do feel for that little girl, her mother needs to get her act together before she scars this little girl for life.

    I must point out though that some people on here have not become thin to look like models, fair enough some may have which is completely their own choice, but for many of us, including me, I did not starve myself to look like someone I am not.
    I have done a few modeling shoots yes, but that wasnt the cause of my ED at all, I would be very wrong indeed to blame it on that.

    I do agree with Amie that the likes of Twiggy are going to be remembered (not by me though, i think she is a muppet lol), but twiggy will only be remembered until someone who matches her ability comes along. Everyone is in the spotlight at one point in their lives and they are only there until someone overshadows them.

    One thing I will disagree with is that we are all sitting here blaming all this crap on models, I may not agree with what they are portraying but they are not to blame. As we have always said, modeling is a job, yes it is, they are being paid to represent something that has come out of a muppets head who has no concept of what image they are sending out. These girls who doing modeling will get ill from what they are doing, the media will make sure of it even if they dont realise it!

    Love you all

    Nats
    xoxoxox

  31. Amie says:

    i love the word muppet…LOL

  32. Vanessa says:

    amie- thank goodness someone understood my point about our needing to take responsibility for our recovery in a positive way rather than just bash kate moss (or anyone). debating the merits of kate moss as a person seems so beside the point to me!

    sorry you all had such a, er, heated debate there. pretty glad i missed it actually.

    i still think bashing someone like kate moss is like making fun of the retarded kid in grade school. just because you’re right doesn’t mean it’s right to do, hello?

  33. Nats says:

    HELLO VANESSA!!!! MY little pudding how ya doing??

  34. Vanessa says:

    hey there nats, i’m doing ok, just another day sowing dissention in the ranks of heather’s army. i like to think i’ve done my part to help nurture the new spirit of questioning authority around here lately (or “bitchiness” as prime puts it).

    but maybe people just really really love kate moss, lol.

  35. Nats says:

    LOL Vanessa, heather is not our authority, she is merely a voice that we (including me) have been too scared to use in the past and now.

    Anyways….. I am not getting how anyone can like Kate Moss, I cant stand the woman to be honest and thats nothing to do with her body or the drugs lol

    So if Heathers army were on their way now you would be ready? LOL

  36. Vanessa says:

    i have to agree about kate moss. i can’t find much likeable about her. and heck yeah i’d be ready for the army, any time. in the words of our lovely president “bring em on!”.

    but more seriously, i think people with eating disorders tend to be overly respectful of authority figures of any kind. and whatever you might say i think heather’s come to occupy that sort of place for some people here- someone you listen to, don’t question, just follow and do what they say. i don’t think she set out to be that but that’s what i see. although the past few posts not as much.

  37. Deanna says:

    I have to say I absolutely agree with everything MamaVision said here, as well as all that she said in her last post about Kate Moss.

    I’ve been bulimic, on and off now for the last 15 years of my life; I’m 29 now, and regret every single second of my life that I’ve wasted on that horrible addictive disease.

    These people, Kate Moss, Nicole Ritchie, every one of them, ARE NOT ROLE MODELS. Of course, they can be, if you want to completely screw up your life, and probably die before you have a wonderful, fulfilling life.

    Right now, I’m in the best recovery I’ve ever been in in my entire life; yes, I’ve gone through alot, therapy, treatment centers, confrontations with the major people in my life – but it was ABSOLUTELY worth it! I would do it all over again to know that I will continue living, learn to love my life, and continue my marriage with a loving husband who, even though he’s been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, tries to support me each and every day.

    Do I want to be Kate Moss? Do I want her life? NO WAY!

    Use your recovery efforts to make YOUR OWN wonderful life; don’t try to be like anyone else out there, because perfection of any kind is NOT attainable.
    YES, I still struggle every day with wanting to binge and purge, I’m alot like everyone else here. But the more we allow ourselves and others to speak out against these “role models” and celebrities, the easier it will be to be happy with ourselves, and make more attainable goals to meet.
    Just my thoughts on the matter; if anyone wants to email me, they can at: djssubs@yahoo.com, or check out my blog at: http://mentalbulimiarecovery.blogspot.com. I’d love to hear from any of you.

    And MamaVision, I’d admire you so much for all that you’re doing to make people more aware of these sites and really happens in the eating disorder world. Maybe with people like you on our side, we’ll finally be able to shine some light on just how far these diseases have spread.

    love to all, Deanna

  38. Deanna says:

    Vanessa,

    I agree with SOME of your points, but certainly not all. There are definitely some people with whom the quiet, caring, compassionate role is the best way to approach them and their recovery.

    However…..in my 15 of dealing with this, going to many treatment centers, and even leading ED support groups, those people are the rare exception to the rule. They typically has to be some kind of tough love, or sarcasm, or even sometimes rudeness to break through that wall that most of us keep up for our own protection. The majority of people I speak to, and I totally include myself here, had to have people literally get up in their faces to make them realize what they were doing to themselves.

    Now yes, there are some celebrities that have these problems that I DO feel sorry for. However, Kate Moss is NOT one of them. As MamaV said, where are the priorities in her life, her own health, her daughter, for goodness sakes? No, the druggie boyfriend is the priority.

    If I saw her currently admitting that she had anorexia, and it was a MAIN problem in her life, and she needed and wanted help for it…….at that point, she would earn my respect. Right now, she has none of it at all.

    Why do I look up to MamaV? She had an ED, and defeated it. That in itself is enough to make me respect and look up to anyone, cause I know how horrible the struggle is.

    Do I question what she says? Sometimes, and yes, everyone’s entitled to their own opinions, that’s what life’s all about. But at some point we have to move on from fighting about our own personal opinions, and get on with our lives and our own recovery.

    Vanessa, I noticed on your blog, you call yourself, the “unofficial voice of reason for the mamaVISION community.” I don’t believe you’re that at all. MamaV has the absolute right to say what she wants here, as do you on your blog. Would you want your blog to turn into a place where your readers question every single word and thought that you had. It doesn’t really make for a spirit of harmony and solidarily towards what MamaV is trying to accomplish at all.

    Personally, I think this all should be dropped, we agree to disagree, and move on to more positive things.

    love, Deanna

  39. Danyel says:

    Mama,
    Please tell me how I can help you. In whatever. . I need to write you an email, check it.

  40. Deanna says:

    Vanessa,
    You said “maybe the real problem is that MamaV thinks that people who have eating disorders are a hazard to those who don’t have one yet, and that we’ll pollute the general population with our disorders thinking”?

    Isn’t that the entire idea of pro eating disorer sites? I thought it was. Sure, she doesn’t mean every single one of us, especially those of us here, cause we wouldn’t be here unless we found something wrong with those sites.

    What you said, do you really believe that’s not true? I’m just wondering.

    love, Deanna

  41. It’s a big fear…a stupid one too, but I must say it is very prominent and very prominent in me as well.

  42. Vanessa says:

    wow, deanna, you certainly asked a lot of questions and i almost feel like answering all of them would require a seperate conversation- one i’d love to have if you want to email me (vive42@comcast.net) or ask me to respond on my own blog. but writing a book here (in addition to the 2 or 3 i’ve already completed) would be way too off topic.

    so, lets see. what can i answer briefly?

    first off, i like and respect heather as a person. i agree with most of her points. but i don’t like her sarcasm towards troubled people. especially emaciated girls who are clearly dying who she puts up pictures of and makes fun of, but including kate icky-pants moss. i disagree with you that the sarcasm will convince anyone- i think it will turn people off who don’t already agree.

    secondly, i think that if she is going to use sarcasm and making fun of people to try and help them then she deserves sarcasm in return. period. maybe it will “help” her to change some of her tactics. maybe it will just drive her to more shrilly defend her positions. either way if she dishes it out she should get it right back, and i think there’s actually a big risk that my blog will become exactly what you describe- a place where her little drones will come and attack my every word. i’ll deal if that starts happening.

    third, my largest concern is that once she gets into the public eye she’s cause proana to grow. i don’t think people with eating disorders cause more people to come in to proana, but i do think negative publicity can do the trick. so thats the primary reason i’ve stuck around, because i’m concerned mamaV is going to accomplish the opposite of what she’d like to acheive.

    anything else feel free to email me and we can discuss it!

  43. Kristin says:

    ok….. this turned nasty at some point, with threats and all? What the…
    Anyways. Here’s what I think……. Just because my name popped up! :)

    Kate Moss has an awsome face, which is God-given, and for me personally, I’ll occasionally look at her pictures, and be amazed. The reason we admire models is purely esthetical. It they are kind, intelligent, strong, this is of no consequence for the magazine-buyers, or the designers. Obviously, Naomi is a real bitch, and has been outed on her vicousness (which she blames on cocaine use). We can hope, wish and pray for these people, but they are in a world of their own. Their choices, their mistakes. Their neglected children.

    I know a bit about art, and it’s ms. Moss’ extremely high cheekbones and wide spead eyes, full lips and a nose that looks good from any angle, that has made her the darling of the fashion world. She’s always been like a work of art. Cindy Crawford, Elle Mc.Pherson, may be pretty, or even mesmerizing; but then this SHORT, BMI 16, school girl, gets booked and is a show-stopper. You can’t NOT notice Moss. I adore her face, a lot more than her body. I prefer the face, the eyes, to the body, in every human being, including my own. I have issues with bodies. I have ed.

    But get real. This is the world we’re living in. If someone chooses to do drugs (to stop the pain, I hope it doesn’t happen to Lila Grace), it’s not Kate’s responsibility. Sure, she inspired me to TRY cocaine, sure, the pictures were really like billboards for an addiction – I guess… yet again… she sells. We want her bone-structure, we want the bones sticking out of our bodies as well. What will get me to feel as beautiful as I think she looks? Kafka wrote about ‘hunger artists’. Myself I’ve have to stop even watching fashion shows. I get so depressed!!! But I WILL allow myself to look at pics of Moss, when she was young, just like I’ll look at a painting. She has an aura of telling us it can be done. A child’s face on a tiny frame. That, in fact, IS a child.

    Here is my conclusion: I take back my statment ‘I’d die to have those boney legs’. Truth is, I might have. Hopefully I won’t. It’s too sad. Too vain. We love her because she was/is a beauty, not because we know her, and certainly not because anyone is stupid enough to think they’ll transform into her. We’ll still be ourselves at 90 pounds. But we are not accepted as we are. So where do we go???

    love and understanding, Kristin

  44. hillary says:

    i dont really want to get caught up in this because i think that most people are overreacting about this. however there is one thing i have to respond to.

    Sally: “would you like the world to know about it? would you like it plastered on every magazine cover every time you did something stupid?”
    first off, that’s what mamav is doing. she’s been putting her story out here for the world to read. she uses her life as examples for people to hopefully follow when she does something good, and for people to learn from when she does something bad.

    secondly, stars know what they’re getting into when they become famous. there is not one celebrity who can claim ignorance of what would happen once they made it big. they know that they can be in the spotlight 24/7 and should make their choices accordingly. there are celebrities who prefer to avoid spotlight when not on camera, and there are celebrities who choose to make spectacles of themselves. they made a choice which made it possible for them to get to the point of having their lives plastered everywhere.

  45. Kari says:

    I quite agree with you – and its sad how the Media just publicises and glamorises everything – from drugs, sex, scandals, and eating disorders. They never really show the full impact it really has on people, especially psychologically. It destroys you from the inside on, and even that the media can glamorise.

    As for Kate… I hope she does something soon, not just for herself, but her daughter as well.

  46. Deanna says:

    Kristin,

    Just to clarify, since you used the word “we” throughout your whole post, you aren’t speaking for everyone here. I personally don’t believe anything you said there about Kate Moss.
    Again, not arguing, just clarifying.

    love, Deanna

  47. Sally says:

    Prime – FYI I write for a newspaper, I write for the health and body section, NOT a magazine, i really don’t care if you read magazines or not… you are still reading this blog which “Mama V” has primarily based on an article she has found.

    Just cos your dad fixes Kate Moss’ internet every now and then doesnt mean he KNOWS her, you cant say she doesn’t have an ED just because you have looked in her cupboards.

    I have had an eating disorder for about 12 years now and I can tell you that there are only a handful of people that would have any idea that I do have one… how can you say she doesn’t? you can see whats in her pantry, but you can’t see whats in her mind.

    “He’s very familiar with what she’s like, and what she does, he knows she’s not got a REAL eating-disorder as she’s told him herself, she simply purges, restricts, and exercises to the point of near-death so that she can do adverts for things.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA my god… are you mad??? your dad asked her and she said no, do the majority of people suffering from and ED admit to it? ohh… but she only purges ad restricts and exercises to the point of near-death… last time i checked they are pretty clear cut signs of an eating disorder…??

    Look, i was just making the point that Kate Moss has no idea what some greedy journalists is going to write about next (usually after they GIVE HER a few lines of THEIR coke). What celebrities are perceived as are never what they are really like.

  48. Amie says:

    Sally

    Amen Sister!!!

  49. alien says:

    Your close to anorexia experience (MamaV) ended in realization that you didn’t have to starve yourself, you were allowed to love your cellulite legs at age 38, and you should hate and fear and disbelieve those who say heaven is being thin – and all that is a great message to wannarectics and those that suffer from social anorexia, but when you have the real thing (pure anorexia), no matter how hard the trip to “heaven” is, it’s always worth it (there is no such thing as “allowed to not want what you want”).
    I caught anorexia (the skeleton skinny, nothing to do with media pretty slimness anorexia) when I was 14. At age 21 I finally understood, after years of therapy and hospitalizing, that though my heaven still was seeing only bones in my thighs, other’s where right: I would miss life by seeking “the heaven “.There started my controlling of anorexia instead of controlling my eating. To me controlling anorexia is little like controlling schizophrenia in the movie “Beautiful mind” with Russell Crow – you know what you feel and it’s real (thin is still the only form of beauty and success for me), yet you trust the world around you when they say your thoughts will, if made true, destroy you and your loved ones and all that you can be, and experience in this life.
    Your message is exactly right for young girls with pro ana thoughts, the wannarectics and social anorectics, but the real sick, who work hard everyday to do the right thing despite the continuous thirst for loosing weight, feel quite crapy after reading how wonderful you – a mentally healthy woman – are and how horrible and lost and bad “the heaven seekers are”.
    I don’t want you to stop, even change the way you express yourself – most of the girls suffer from ed that can be turned off with the help of your kind of caring people – I just wanted you to know why glamorizing your own life and beating down Kate Moss’ life doesn’t feel too uplifting to some of the girls.

  50. Nats says:

    Kristen hun,

    Not being funny in any way but how can you say that her taking coke is not her responsibility?? Of course it is! Even if she never meant to get addicted to it, she was still in charge of the descision to do it. When the person who first ever gave it to her said “do you wanna line” she had two options there, say yes or no! Basically it was always her choice to do it and it is her fault she still is.
    I understand what you mean regarding she tempted you into coke, she did the same to me. Not even sure how to be honest!
    Oh ok just read your comment again, I misunderstood on that, ok so no its not her fault others follow her on the coke subject, I agree with that, for sure, she is not to blame for everyone else’s choices but she did however continue to do it in the public eye and around the media influence because it sells. It sells mags, papers even her bloody clothes line! She is aware she is a role model so she should bloody well act like one!!

    I do agree with you again on the subject of how well someone can know someone! Noone trully knows another person. Even when they are together all the time its very hard to undrstand and get to know someone with an ED. I however do not believe she has an ED, coke will stop you eating. I know this as I have tried and tested it! Coke takes away the pang to eat! I am not sure however if this is the reason she is taking it. I cannot comment on that coz I dont know her, dont wish to know her!
    All I know is I hope she sorts herselfout for the childs sake if not her own.

    love ya loads

    Nats
    xoxoxo

  51. Kristin says:

    Deanna,
    ‘you don’t believe anything in my post?’ Like what? Do you think she’s Ugly Betty? Well…. guess I have another perspective. As I intended to show, I look at her as a sort of an art-creation. The reason she sells, in my opinion, and does have a lot to say for young impressionable teenagers and so on, is she is so darn interesting! But no use in that if you don’t have the bone structure, so not to like force you to think better of her than you do, but if she were not a beauty, she would not have the carreer she does.

    I know I shouldn’t have said I’d die for her legs, that was a slip into former thinking. But I was saying the truth, that the picture of her posted by mamaV immediately got me thinking, oh my gooooooooooddddd, I wanna be like that. Not like HER, like that. There’s a difference. I am a product of my time. So is Moss.
    By the way, she’s not an icon because of her body, she is in spite of it. I know, myself I feel too short, and I’m 5’9 1/2 – it’s because I’m on the verge of being to little for modeling, you catch my drift? I know this is not constructive thinking. Thats why I try to salvage the little self-esteem I have left, and shun the fashion shows. But I am fascinated with moss, and always will be.

    My point was to clarify my view on my own interest in Moss. I don’t look to her as my woman Saviour, and she never claimed to be a Messiah of anything but the fashion world. If young girls read to much into what she said and does, as I have maybe in the past, thinking they know her in some way, it’s like a mental thing, they’re projecting things. She is what she is, so what. She’s not miss Universe, her ‘opinions’ only matters to the extent we give them a place in our own mind. So our mind is the battleground.

    Be she stick thin as she is, we don’t KNOW if she’s like that naturally, only that shes been that way since she was discovered. Coke may help her not eating but she obviously has never had a problem overeating. So what? Not our concern.

    Was your real point that you don’t agree we’re not accepted as we are? I dodn’t mean that’s the TRUTH, I mean thats how society works. Nothing is ever good enough. You can’t be too rich or too thin – this is soooo wrong. I hope you feel accepted as you are. But I don’t FEEL that way. or else I’d look at Moss and think oh my God I want to help er, not say idiotic things like I’d die to have those legs.

    Deanna, I do stand for everyting in my post, so if you’d maybe clarify what you mean you don’t agree with any of it, I’d actually understand where you are coming from. maybe you just wanted to hit me on the head a little bit??

    Kristin

  52. Kristin says:

    forgot to mention, Deanna, regardin ‘we’ – point of view, I was talking out of like what my disorder is like. ED manifests itself in different ways, but we all have the fear of not being good enough, the obsession with right and wrong foodwise, other than that my personal belief is that ED can pop up as ana/mia/binge, so on, because of personal circumstances, pesonality traits, so on. I know for me, ED has transformed itself from one to the other, I’ve gone through all the types, it’s really very common for ‘failed’ ana to become somwhat mia etc etc etc. Everything is damaging, and just plain sad.
    I don’t claim to speak for anyone, but I do know hwere I’m coming from. So I know a lot of people would think the same as me (and I dodn’t say we the entire post, just where I saw it fitting). That’s why I was loose on who we is. I figured I didn’t have to sit down and explain: Every individual thinks for itself. However, if you categorize youself as having ED, chances are, you would agree with at least SOME things in my post.

  53. Kristin says:

    You guys, I’m sorry if I’m taking up all the space here :)
    I really don’t mean to sound like a b***!!!! I was just like – two posts seemlingly hammering me (at first glance) + mamaV setting me as an example of horror :) I’m not THAT bad.

    Deanna, I read yours again, and I get you were just clarifying. Love ya girl, I probably would have done the same thing, if I didn’t know me 😉 I never ment for it to seem offencive.

    Nats good thing you read it again, that’s just what I was saying… I understand mamaV is kind of presenting her case on display here among us, b/c of the oh so stupid Rexy remark. There is nothing remotely funny about ED, if she really were making that remark, either she doesn’t know the worst sides of ED personally and is just a little high, or she is so overtaken by fashion standards, she deserves to be an icon of their agenda. She really speaks ‘their’ case (again the we’s and their’s!?)…
    I don’t know anything about this. But the remark itself deserves to be pounded to ashes. Please just remember she’s a person made of flesh and blood, we all say things we regret, we all sound bitchy at times.

    lots of luv, Kristin

  54. Amie says:

    nat
    have you ever thought kate moss does coke to stop feeling hungry, like someone taking diet pills etc? i think ed, self-harm and drug and alcohol issues can be all mashed in together… the ed takes the pain away of a problem, than cutting, doing coke etc takes the pain away from the ed, can you see that it can be all together…
    i have even read on pro ana sites to use speed to stop feeling hungry and it uses up heaps of calories… i believe kate moss is struggling and needs help and i dont believe anyone has the right to say someone does or doesnt have an ed, hay if someone was to look at me, you would think i was fine and didnt suffer from an ed… its a very personal and shamefull thing for some girls… it can be the biggest secret in someones life..
    love ya

  55. Nats says:

    Amie- I was thinking that too! I was wondering if she would be taking it so it stopped her eating. .

    Kristin- I agree with you! i believe that statement should be argued against and pounded til it hurts! its just plain wrong. She needs to realise that what she is doing and saying is being noticed by very young people and older ones. I believe that if you hear something enough you end up believing it. For example, if my parents told me I was fat every single day, I would end up believing it.

    Love you both

    Nats xxx

  56. KH says:

    Referring to girls and women who may have subclinical eating disorders as ” wannarexic[s] posting on a lame pro anoreaxia blog” is not only offensive, but not likely to win those “wannarexics” over to your viewpoint.

    Most mental health professionals would endeavor to treat those suffering from eating disorders with compassion and respect tempered with reality in the form of facts, logic, and helpful strategies. You may not be a professional, but you might do well to try that approach, instead of making up terms that have no clinical use, posting triggering pictures with mocking text, and trying to use your anecdotal experience to “get you [girls and women] to a place that you want nothing more than yourself.”

    In theory, your goals are noble. In practice, as someone with a background in psychology who has also had an eating disorder, this site is cringe-worthy.

    Please consider a more respectful, fact-based approach. I think you’ll find that reading the scholarly literature on eating disorders (not just anorexia, but the full spectrum of EDs) will provide material that is just as alarming (and substantially less offensive) than the current strategy of posting “pro-ana” pictures with disparaging commentary.

  57. Kristin says:

    KH you actually have a good point. Pics totally triggering. Comments makes ‘wannarexics’ feel bad about themselves. I think all anorexia is like wannarexia, it’s the same deal, just some want&need it and some are it from an early age, so on.

  58. duh says:

    With fame comes power. With power, comes responsibility.

    Get your act together, Kate Moss. You have a little girl to raise and be a role-model for. Don’t like the responisibility? Get out of the spotlight. You gotta take the good with the bad in terms of your career and it’s expectations of you.

  59. amy says:

    i wish i was as pretty and thin as kate moss :-(

    amy,14 x

  60. Emily says:

    “Do you know who’s legs I want? MINE. Yes, my 38 year old mom legs with a little cellulite here and there, along with few a “honorable” bruises from wrestling with my 4 year old boy Sid.”

    Reading that made me cry, its so nice to hear someone say that. Its so nice to know that I can say that too, and believe it, and how damn good it feels to just love who you are. Even if it just shows up in little flashes of brilliance like your quote.

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