Home

Where is home?

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I am looking to understand the reach of the community. I can tell you that thus far we have received posts and I have received private emails from girls all over the world including:

Ireland, China, Israel, Scotland, Italy, France, Africa, and the list goes on. UK and US seem to be where the majority of us are from.

Where is home?

What do you like best about it?

What don’t you like about your hometown?

I was born and raised in a small suburb of Milwaukee, Wisconsin and I have chosen to stay here. All my crazy world travels only made me more of a small town girl!

Best: Lush green woods with huge pine trees, four distinct seasons, down to earth people, excellent public schools, beautiful libraries stocked with awesome books, music, and videos, rural atmosphere yet convenient to stores and cultural events, only about an hour from Chicago.

Worst: Milwaukee is one of the most segregated cities in the US. We have a large, poor, African American community. I am noticing that in public places where blacks and whites mix, such as restaurants, there is an obvious tension. I believe the tension stems from the white folks primarily and this makes me ashamed. I want my children to grow up with all different walks of life, and it seems at times some of the white families would prefer we stay separate. I do believe this will change over time, but I would like it to change now.

-mamaV

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34 Responses to Home

  1. Josie (Joey) says:

    I live in England, and for the past 7 years “home” has been a small town (3 miles across to give you a sense of scale) in The Cotswolds called Cirencester.

    Best: a lot of the town is very picturesque and individual, with over 2000 years of history (it was the second biggest city behind London in Roman times, and just a few minutes walk away is an Amphitheatre). For such a small town it has a good range of shops, a leisure centre, parks, etc. The schools and college are really good. There are bigger towns and cities not very far away. It’s very rural and traditional in lots of ways, without being overbearing.

    Worst: there’s a lot of tourists and people from cities who live here only at weekends and holidays. Tourists get in the way a bit, and city-people tend to be very posh and snotty. Actually there’s a lot of rich people around here, including a plethora of celebrities, and they’re all a bit arrogant and annoying. There’s also very little cultural diversity – almost everyone is white and either Christian or Aethist, making people misinformed about other cultures.

  2. Nats says:

    I live in England, Around 20 miles away from the centre of London.

    Best: The thing I love about where I live, is if anyone was in trouble, everyone around would help. A place where I used to work had a colleague in trouble and people were threatening them etc, a group of about 60 people came to her aid! It was amazing, everyone pulled together to help her. The shops here are great, I love the centre of town, its always busy and Ilike to sit outside the the coffee shop people watching.
    There is a large field with a lake, a park for younger kids, a swimming pool etc down the bottom of twon about 15 mins from where I live and you can go there and lay in the sun, chill by the lake and just chat, its peacefull. Yet my fav place where I live is this large car park. It sounds sad but I love sittingon the top most level, looking out on the world going by! I am the only one who does this, I would love to share this with others but Its my special secret place where I go when I feel down.

    Worst: The other side of my town in like segregated. All the Asian people, and muslims live. for some reason it seems that every town in this world is seperated by culture and beliefs. it stinks I hate it, why cant all people just get along?? I dont understand that at all. that part of town is not looked after and you have groups of people of 15 sharing a 3 bedroom house because of the shortage of money they have. Why cant anyone help them?? I want this to change, but what use can one person be?? I know im loud but not that loud.

    Nats

  3. Vanessa says:

    i live in boston, actually cambridge now as of a few months ago.

    best: about boston in general i love living in a city, i love the energy of it and even if you’re not all that social it’s hard to feel lonely with people around all the time. tons of neat stuff is in walking distance, especially where i am now. boston is a small city and you can walk almost anywhere.

    worst: well, the worst part about where i used to live was that it wasn’t very safe to be out at night, you’d hear gunshots, you had to be careful about where you went and i was often the only white person in sight. also everyone was poor, including me. and the worst part about where i am now is all the fricking rich people and harvard students. it’s creepy. everyone has money. people from where i used to live come here to panhandle. my parents helped me get my new place and i love it, but i wish they hadn’t been so hung up on my living in a “good” neighborhood.

  4. Sarah says:

    Where is home?
    I live in Norway (Scandinavian country)

    What do you like best about it?
    The fact that the difference between poor and rich isn`t as huge as in other countries.

    What don’t you like about your hometown?
    Hmm, tough question! I guess the weather could be better? LOL, I seriously don`t know! I feel very fortunate to live in Norway, and my hometown is wonderful.

  5. Kim says:

    Home for me now is Sioux City, Iowa, USA. I moved from Sioux Falls, South Dakota after my boyfriend died, I miss it there.
    Best thing about Iowa is my family is here and while I shut them out of what is going on with me, I love them with all of my heart and soul.
    Worst thing about living here is that my abuser lives here and knows i am living here again. I also miss Sioux Falls as it was bigger and I had more to do. My life was more my own there, meaning I focused on my happiness more there then now.

  6. Michelle says:

    I live in Tiffin, Ohio. Small town, USA haha. My town has 17,000 people in it and is slowly getting smaller. We have a lot of old, rich people living here, so it’s not unusual to see five 2006/2007 Mustangs driving around in one hour.

    The best part about my town is the closeness of everything. We have about 20 different ice cream and pizza places, again.. at least one is in walking distance. There are two ice cream places I could walk to if I wanted to and it wouldn’t be a long walk.. as for pizza? I could walk to three and it would be an ok walk! Another AMAZING thing about Tiffin is Jolly’s Rootbeer and Ballreich’s Chips. YUM! Ballreich’s delivers all around the WORLD, so check out their website and order some today!

    The worst part about my town would be how everyone knows everyone and once you have a reputation, you are expected to keep it.. even if you move away and come back to visit. My older brother is still known as the tall geeky computer kid, but now he is almost engaged, studying graphic design, not how to build or repair a computer. It’s quite amazing, actually. You also have the ‘big names’ in Tiffin.. so if you go to the high school, let’s say. You are a part of Basketball and Football. You have a ‘big name’ and you get CAUGHT underage drinking. They slap you on the wrist and tell you to not do it again. Don’t have a ‘big name’? You get sent to jail for a night. It’s not fair, specially when you are academically competitive like myself. This one kid slept through World History my sophomore year… got a BETTER grade than I did. How does that work!? I don’t know but he got away with it.

  7. hillary says:

    Home for now is a suburb of Detroit, Michigan. It’s not a spectacular place, but it has it’s up sides. I live right by the downtown area, so I have easy access to a plethora of shops, including coffee shops, health food stores (<3), clothing stores, record stores etc. It’s a nice place filled with lots of friendly people (and a creeper or two, but oh well). The downside to it is that it’s kinda small and mostly adults, so there’s not a lot of people my age nearby. plus it’s riiiight next to detroit, so we have a bit of spillover crime. But hey, that’s life. Overall it’s a nice place, but there’s no way I’m staying here. It’s not really a town that’s going somewhere, there’s no future here.

  8. AlexaaaA says:

    Where is home?
    i live in Cancún, Q. Roo, México.

    What do you like best about it?
    You can be in the beach in 15 minutes, you can find people from everywhere in the world (i have neigbors from Germany, USA & Uruguay) You can meet all kind of people, we have a great weather all year, you can go out to walk at 3 am and you can be safe, there’s a lot of things to do, so much beautiful places to go, there’s a lot of Arqueologic Zones to see, the Jazz Festival!!, the colour of the ocean here its amazing, the most beautiful blue turquoise you can see, the best night life you can ever dream, its a paradise to live… most of my family came to live here after we came..

    What don’t you like about your hometown?
    There’s a lot of discoteques here, you can be easily absorbed by the party life, you can also easily find drugs, its like the capital of rave parties, in hotel zone at night its all about drugs alcohol and sex. its one of the principals tourist destinations…
    About living here, its hard for you to make friends of have a relationship, because all the people come and go all the time…

    MAMAV
    MAMAV
    MAMAV

    DO you have a msn messenger where we can chat?? you have my gmail, you can add me with that adress if you want…. thx…sometimes i need to talk with someone.

  9. Karihami says:

    Hi! I read alot of the posts and stuff but don’t really post myself. I am living in Colorado Springs, Co right now but am moving back to my home town Cedar Rapids, Iowa as of tomorrow!! Kim, I noticed that you are from iowa too! How fun! I love Colorado because of the mountains and the beauty, and I love Iowa because of all my family and friends, and just the familiarity of it all.

  10. Danielle says:

    Where is home?
    New Jersey. Smalltown South Jersey. Ha.

    What do you like best about it?
    It’s close to everything. Philadelphia, the Jersey shore, NYC, Washington DC, Trenton, and many other major places are all relatively close to me. Also, I’ve never pumped my own gas and prices aren’t that bad compared to the rest of the country. Wawa (which is the BEST store in the world) has a store every couple of miles in South Jersey. There is a mall in pretty much every other town. We’re one of the richest states in the country. Fresh New Jersey produce is the best.

    What don’t you like about your hometown?
    It’s small. Really small. Everyone knows everyone else’s business. It’s 98% white so I’ve never been exposed to any kind of diversity. Camden is not too far away, which is a scary place. You have to be 19 to buy cigarettes (or you can just go to DE and buy them dirt cheap and bring them back). Pennsylvania drivers in the left lane. Pennsylvania drivers in general. Traffic circles. The Democrats win every elections. They could have a dog running and they’d still win. People say “wudder” instead of “water” and it’s annoying.

  11. Jane says:

    I dont know where home is… I guess it’s where I am now.

    I live in a small “city” (because it has a cathedral!), Hereford, about an hour away from Birmingham in England.

    I love the fact that most of my family live here and it’s small, but big enough to have privacy. I love the fact that there is a Starbucks and I love the fact that there are things for families to do. There isnt much for kids or teenagers to do, but there are some lovely places to just… sit.

    I hate the fact that its where I have had some of the worst experiences and I hate the fact that the cinema is so small! I dont like the accent here. I dont like the fact that everywhere you go, someone knows you!

  12. Cat says:

    Where is home? A small town (~9,000 residents), in a small state in New England, about 3 hours away from Boston.

    What do you like best about it? My childhood, although I believed it to be dull at the time, was pretty idyllic. The type of town where you know the majority of your neighbors, no one locks their door (or they didn’t used to), you go to school with the same kids from K-12. It feels familiar, which can be both good/bad, I suppose. The scenery is gorgeous. I adore autumn and winter. New England in general has a certain feel to it.

    What don’t you like about your hometown? I suppose the familiarity aspect as well…the town has changed since my youth. More crime/drugs. Fairly impoverished. It feels a bit suffocating.

  13. Gabi says:

    where is home: London baby!!! (england)

    Best: the bright lights, the busyness, the theatres, nightlife, the shopping, how old buildings are still aorund in the monderness of it, the london eye, the lloyds building (it’s inside out!), the beautiful untouched parks, winter in london, the diversity of people

    Worst: when tourists come and walk at lietrally a pace an hour…i’m sorry but london is an extremly busy place, we are all in a rush here…dont walk at two miles an hour! people who come to london and scrounge of the government and my hard earned taxes and wont even bother to learn the language (i work in islington where this happens all the time and it pisses me off!)

  14. Josie (Joey) says:

    Jane – i don’t live very far from you at all!!!

  15. Sass1948 says:

    city in north-east england. it has a bad name cuz there’s little money being spent on it. but it’s nowhere near as bad for crime as some cities.

    best: it’s so familiar to me & FRIENDLY. when i come home from a trip away or whatever, am so relieved to be back.

    worst: it’s familiarity can mean it gets stale living here, so, ya know, you still need those trips away!

  16. Amie says:

    hey mama!
    I live in Australia! Brisbane to be percise which is a city in the state of Queensland! Queensland is known as the sunshine state!

    best part: i used to live in a country town (which lived to think it was a city but isnt) and moved to brisbane when i was 12. I love the rush of the city, i love the flow of traffic, you can be anyone in the city! Its like you can get lost within the city, its buildings and people. I live about 40 mins drive from the gold coast which has some of the best surf beaches in australia… i love the endless opportunities!

    worst part: public transport sucks!

  17. Sarah says:

    I live in oregon.. how boring!!

    what i like- awesome running and hiking trails, beautiful lakes and mountains, and a lot of liberals!!!!!

    what i dont like- awful shopping, all of the rich, stuck up people in my town, not a lot to do at night…..

    to all of you guys from london i was just there i LOVED IT!!! i plan on moving there some day. if was the coolest place i’ve ever been and i envy you so much!!!!! and gabi i was laughing when you were talking about tourists walking a pace an hour.. i walked fast so people wouldnt know i was a tourist!

  18. Lo says:

    You want to see segregation…try living in St. Louis, MO! Basically, the African-Americans live in the “ghetto” and the white people live in the suburbs. There are exceptions of course but that’s primarily what you see.

    I hate Missouri. It’s so miserably humid in the summer. And it’s so BORING. I love Fall here though. It’s gorgeous. Lot’s of woods and autumn leaves and hills galore.

  19. Charlotte says:

    Do you live in Milwaukee?? I often read your blogs but maybe I missed that.

    I live in Milwaukee, grew up in New Berlin (Waukesha). I do believe that some people in the black community in Milwaukee make negative decisions and actions that give the other black people a bad image. I’ve meet some of the people who give the people who live in the surround suburbs of Milwaukee a horrible idea of how the community really is. The sad thing about Milwaukee is that the high crime rate areas, such as North Milwaukee, are populated with non-white people. I feel as if I am sounding racist. I am far from that. It is just a fact that Milwaukee is like that. There are plenty of white people that also make not so good decisions. I have been warned numerous times from people who live in the “not so safe” neighborhoods along with other people that know those areas to not be around there at night. I also learned that from experience when my friend and I got lost when were trying to find a bar. I saw some things I rather have not. The sad thing about North Milwaukee is that 20 years ago it was a very nice and safe place to live. The mall, Northridge, in North Milwaukee even had to be closed due to the high crime rate. When I was visiting a friend, and I often stayed at their house, I was terrified one night when I was outside going to my car someone was doing a drive by shooting down the next block. I do believe that parts of Milwaukee are turning around. I also think it odd that with in a few blocks you can go from the ghetto to a very high end neighborhood.

  20. Charlotte says:

    Oh I also lived in the Aspen, CO area for about a year. I think there were three black people living in the area. Mainly white people live in the Aspen/Snowmass area, most have a accent from a different country. Extremely expensive to live there. Then you travel down the high way about 20 miles where the cost of living is somewhat lower but still higher than most places and it is all Mexican people living there.

  21. me says:

    Australia!!!

    It is the best country to live in!!!!

    everyone is so laid back… no one really gives a fuck what you do…. i love it. i wouldn’t want to live anywhere else!

    The best part?
    Summer. summer is beautiful,

    The worst??
    ….. we don’t stock size 00

  22. Lily says:

    Hi MamaVision,

    I suspect this post will be bang out of order but I am so angry and I need to get it out there. The way you run this blog makes very little sense to me – I realise your time is limited but I have to object-
    Over on the openforum vulnerable people post about issues that need addressing and you do not address them- do you even monitor these posts?

    I see girls speaking about how desperate their situation is, about suicide, starvation, purging, damage to their bodies, self-harm….you do not comment.

    I have seen you respond recently to one girl who has been speaking about suicide, telling her to email you privately…..I have to question whether this private interaction did then take place because it sure doesnt with alot of other girls, including myself.

    Mamavsion, you should not offer to help ppl if you cant- I am angry about this. I realise you have very good intentions- but when you take on a cause like this you unfortunately take on responsibility with it. Without recognsing this responsibility, alot of harm can be done,

    Lily

  23. poweralis says:

    Um…i live in yet another small town called Alresford, near Winchester in Hampshire England.

    The best thing is….actually to be honest the best thing is you won’t get stabbed at night.

    The worst thing is a toss up between many, probably the fact i don’t really feel i belong here when i’ve gone to school in Winchester (about 8 miles away) for the last seven years and thus most of my friends live there.

    xx

  24. Amie says:

    Lily
    I do agree with you on this one and i dont know how good or bad this is going to go down with everyone else on this forum as it seems as though mama can do no wrong, and i know that is an unrealistic view, mama is human and makes mistakes… i love mama alot but i do see the harm that this is causing some girls. Mama you have girls reaching out to you, and if you cant be there for them you need to say it in the beginning and refer them to services that are going to be. You cant personally take on everyones problems… a quote i once read is perfect for now
    “The smallest deed is better than the greatest intention.”

    amie

  25. Rose says:

    I’m from a village just outside Slough, a very large town in SE England.

    What do i like about it: my mother lives here, my boyfriend isn’t too far, and it has good infrastructure linking to London and Heathrow to the world.

    What do i dislike: chavs and other general yobbish behaviour.

    MamaV,

    I don’t expect you to “Take care” of us, it isn’t your responsibility, but since the pro ana world is so big now, I’m not surprised at all, that girls cry out to you, since you seem to be sending such a positive message and are a “safe” way for these girls to get positive support and help with out other people even knowing that the girls who cry out have a problem, the internet always allows a certain amount of anonymity, perhaps you could introduce a “buddy system” I know that they work well within the pro ana community so they should work here, but tbh, I wouldn’t know what to do if someone was suicidal other than to give them the following phone number:

    08456347650 – This number is for the beat youth helpline.

    They deal with ED related issues mainly, but are very friendly. They are based in the UKI would love it if you could put it up on your site since this does seem to be a global community an you only have NEDAs number up.

  26. Emily says:

    I’m from a small town in Arizona ( an hour from Phoenix) But I currently reside in Northern Colorado.

    What I love: AZ year-round weather, feeling safe, and the small-town feel but still being close enough to big-city things.

    I do not really dislike anything…every place is unique in its own way and I tend to appreciate cultural diversity (or non-diversity) and different terrain,etc.

  27. Kim says:

    lily, i am sorry for the problems i have caused. i do not expect mama v to save me from myself, i was just stupidly writing down my feelings. and yes she did email me. she is not responsible for me or my feelings if anything she gave me a place where i could share them and not feel quite so alone or empty. so please if you are all mad, be mad at me. mama v has told us she is not a professional and offers help numbers. to me honest lily if it werent for this site i wouldnt be here at all, it has given me more time – mama v makes me think and has kept me holding on longer then i ever thought i would or could. so i am sorry to mama v and everyone here

  28. Rose says:

    Hello kim!

    Don’t you worry about it hon, we all need to vent those negative emotions, or else we’d go crazy and we need positive reinforcement for the same reason, tbh, that is why i joined pro ana in the first place, some one is always there to give you a cuddle when you are down so that you have the encouragement to pick yourself up again, and if we are avoiding the “triggering” material (whatever that means, but i mean the negative re-enforcements that are concentrated within pro Ana) then we need places like this and b-eat.org or somtthingfihy.com to come and help ourselves cope with these negative emotions. There are so many online communities such as those that may help you,, where you can vent the negative and re-enforce the positive.

    Take care hon, if you ever need anything, you (or anyone) can email/msn me, just ask me for my addy on the open forum

  29. Josie (Joey) says:

    Lily –
    MamaV is completely overloaded with people asking for help – if anyone comes to into pro-ana circles, understands the issues and offers to help, she or he gets overloaded almost immediately. There isn’t enough help and support available in a semi-anonymous context….that’s why so many are drawn to pro-ana sites in the first place.
    When mamaV realised she was getting overloaded she started to say she was struggling, and that she couldn’t answer everyone – i don’t think she can be accused of not making that clear.
    I have been in the same position as mamaV, with too many reaching out to me for support for me to cope. MamaV knows she’s well overstretched, and is working on it, and does feel bad, and doesn’t want to lead girls astray into thinking she can provide the perfect support for them.

    I do understand where you’re coming from, as i’ve said words to that effect. I can assure you that mamaV DOES email girls privately, albeit not “enough” because she has other commitments, and not to everyone consistantly.
    When she does reach out – her reaching out helps enormously.

    Kim & anyone else – don’t feel guilty for posting here or reaching out for help. You’re very brave to do so, and are doing the right thing. However, we can’t rely on mamaV completely – she is wonderful with the help she gives, but is massively overstretched.
    My advice would be to reach out in as many places as you can, and get a variety of support systems – forums, professionals, helplines, friends, family, etc.

  30. Nats says:

    Girls, just continue the way you have always been on here!!! I am going to be the same until mamaV tells me otherwise! MamaV is amazing and she is doing as much as she can. If she doesn’t reply to you straight away then talk to one of us. I am always on here and happy to help anyone who needs me. I think same goes for josie! We are both here and reply to people. I have done this often when mamaV is away. I try to keep up with all the posts and reply but its hard and that’s with me having no commitments! I can’t imagine coping at all if I had a family and full time job.

    I’m here for everyone always

    Nats
    Xoxoxoxoxo

  31. Lily says:

    Hi Kim and everyone,

    Kim, you have nothing to be sorry about and have caused no trouble, I feel absolutely awful that you could think that and think my post was directed at you- really sorry. I am so glad that you are finding this site helpful and that it is giving you hope- there is alot to live for so keep going, minute by minute if you have to, and things will get better xx

    Guys, Ive read all your responses- I just dont know- I guess I really needed to get how I feel out there and express that Im angry. I dont think MV is clear about her limits and I do believe that with what she is doing comes alot of responsibility- and people can get hurt.

    Personally I wrote to MamaV on the blog here asking for help so so many times- she finally saw my posts and sent me an email. I was so hopeful that things could change and I emailed back- that was more than a week ago, on the 20th, Ive sent messages since- and have heard nothing. Ive been like checking my email 3 times a day.

    Im just reading what I wrote and I sound pathetic. Im sorry guys, I sound selfish and what right do I have to give out about someone who is out there doing good- Im sorry for my post – if I read it as someone elses Id probably disagree with them too.
    Maybe this is more about my own issues that I need to deal with, than anyone elses,

    Lily xx

  32. Kim says:

    thanks lily. i just feel pretty crappy about everything right now. you kind of scare me saying mama v doesnt respond to emails because i just responded to hers and hope she does respond because i am at a place where i dont know what to do anymore. i guess i do put her on a pedastal maybe that i think she has the answers and thats not really fair. now what to do???

  33. holyperfection says:

    Mama v has a post on this blog that says clearly that she is not a profession she encourages you to call one if you are suffering. she also has another post that says that she has to consciously limit the time that she spends on this blog, that she has to resist the urge to check sometimes. i believe that she knows her limits… it isnt that she does not care for everyone it isnt that she has decided that some of us are more important than others. she knows that there are limits to what she is able to do for us and i can tell that she truely does care. my guess is that you can tell that she cares as well it isnt pathetic to seek her help she seems nearly miraculous to me. but she isnt your last hope she isnt the last listening ear she has just given us a place where hope can be found and where listening ears are in no short supply.
    my email address is
    ohmygodyourmycousin@yahoo.com
    i will listen
    if you want it i will give advice.
    i know that i am also ill but this blog has encouraged me to seek help. im getting it through my religion and a doctor i have begun seeing again. voluntarily ready to get better.

    i have offered my ear
    others have done the same
    we are willing to let you rant and help to give you some kind of strength, and as i have said before to help each other.

  34. Kari says:

    I live in Singapore – and well, I still do get people asking me if its in China, so uh, no. Its not in China, or anywhere near.

    Best: Its safe, has practically all of my favourite foods from Japanese to Thai, and since its pretty small, access to all parts of the country is quite easy – I can get from the West to the East in about 2 hours or less, using the train.

    Worst: Its hot and humid for most of the year – I can’t stand it. A lot of people tend to think I’m arrogant because I speak proper English, and have some difficulty with the colloquial form of English here, Singlish (Singaporean English). Its a lingering feeling, but I always felt like (Quoting Nickelback’s “Savin’ Me”) “These City Walls Ain’t Got No Love For Me”. And maybe this occurs almost everywhere else, but many people here have misconceptions about eating disorders eg. Only skinny girls have them. Which is very, very untrue.

    Its not exactly home in my books, but what makes it bearable is the people I make friends with. That’s most important.

    If I had a choice, I’d live in Massachusetts.

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