No one understands! I need help, can’t they figure it out?


I hear this over and over, so I would like each of you to post one, that’s one, not 5 or 20 misunderstandings people have about your ED (I know most of you could make a HUGE list!)

I think this will force you to really think about that is the main source of misunderstanding, and it will help me understand you.


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42 Responses to Misunderstood

  1. I have control over it and can easily change (get better) if I want to.

  2. Nora says:

    I’m not sick, I’m just seeking attention.

  3. Emily says:

    I must have grown out of it by now, it was just a phase.

  4. Hannah says:

    It’s all about weight & appearance, nothing to do with control I get from it.

  5. Alexa says:

    im happy, and i do it because im just too vain and shallow.
    (Yeah, sure! you know i really like the vomit!) dah…

  6. hagar says:

    it’s a teenager phase for atenttion, rebel, on purpose to make my parents angry.

    (yes i cut and throw up and get high and then HIDE IT for two years to get attention. how logical. anyways if it was really about attention i could have pierced something, gotten a tattoo or colored my hair!)

  7. Sofia says:

    That we choose to do this to ourselves… that we woke up one morning and thought, “Hey, I think I’ll starve myself from now on!”… that we can easily recover by just eating normally again. They don’t seem to understand that it’s not just an over-the-top diet — it’s a real mental illness that takes months, sometimes years of hard work to overcome.

  8. wanderer says:

    Ditto Nora and Emily, that an ED is “just a phase” or something done for attention. (When in truth, having an ED is one of the more secretive experiences one can have.)

  9. Elle says:

    “You don’t have an eating disorder and even if you did, you’re doing it just because you hate me.” -my mother
    The reality: I love and respect my mother very much and will never understand why she thinks I hate her so much.

  10. E says:

    No one has ever commented on my ED. They all know… they HAVE TO know..

    Some people build walls not to keep others out, but just to see who cares enough to break them down.

    My husband is the only one who ever has. with him i am NOT misunderstood.

    The rest of them just don’t care enough.

  11. Amy says:

    “You just need to switch your obsession with food and weight to exercising, that’s a lot more healthy.” – my mother.

  12. kay says:

    I’m not trying to impress anyone. I’m not vying for attention. I loathe myself.

  13. Terra says:

    i want to look like a skeleton. in honesty, every relapse has begun as a means to escape myself…not to attain a bone-sharp version of her.

  14. Melissa says:

    that I want to look like other people in trying to be skinny or because I think other people perceive me as fat, I’m not just doing it because I’m unhappy with myself, it comes from envy of others

  15. Katie says:

    I’m too smart to have this kind of a problem.

  16. Joey says:

    I’m not skinny enough to have a problem.

  17. Alexa says:

    “Her thinness looks so cool, she really rocks in those cute skinny jeans”

  18. Danielle says:

    First let me start by saying I am overweight….Kinda like Joeys comment “I’m not skinny enough to have a problem” It’s what people assume, but for me I am glad because it’s not suspicious since I don’t look sick.

    The misunderstandings for me are that I am doing it to get skinny cuz I am jealous of the skinny girls and that if you’re overweight the only eating disorder you could have is overeating, which in my case is not true, and is why I have lost 34 lbs in the last 4 months. Disordered eating comes in all shapes, sizes, ages and races, as most, if not all of you, already know.

    Sorry if I wasn’t supposed to post numbers, I have been reading this site for a while but this is the first comment I have posted.

  19. Jane says:

    “You’re doing it to punish us” – my dad and step-mum

    No I’m not, I’m doing it to punish myself! (and for the control!)

  20. sIM'One. says:

    i’m sick of people not taking my food issues seriously because i’m at a healthy weight. yet, people often falsely accuse my skinny friend of being anorexic. she suffers commentary a lot from people who think she does. because anorexia is getting a lot of press as of late, people are accusing naturally thin women of having eating disorders.
    my friend says she was teased a lot as a teenager because of her lanky physique. but now, she is envied.

  21. Kim says:

    people think you have anorexia but we know you are too smart to be “that”. If you needed help you would ask us. hmmm.Yet I dont, instead I use my smile to hide my feelings. “too smart”

  22. Stephanie Q says:

    “You’re just depressed and going through a phase.”
    Can a phase last a decade?

  23. Me_Again says:

    If only you wanted to, you could get over this easily…kinda just snap out of it.

  24. Nats says:

    That I wasnt doing it to be THIN

  25. Alyss says:

    People thinking I can just snap out of it like nothing.

  26. Paige says:

    “If you’re anorexic, why aren’t you thin?”

  27. hillary says:

    i did it because i’ve never felt good enough for anyone ever. ever ever. and i thought maybe i’d be good enough if i was thin and pretty because i clearly couldnt get the straight A’s or be miss congeniality.

  28. Laura says:

    “It’s not a problem because you look healthy”

  29. Hazel says:

    That I am vain about my appearance

  30. Michelle says:

    I don’t look the part of an anorexic, but I certainly have the mental capacity to become even worse.

  31. mel says:

    they think i’m just doing it to lose weight. i can’t really be eating disordered because i weigh over 200 pounds. fat bulimics and anorexics don’t exist. pffft yeah right.

  32. Bekah says:

    “You’re not thin enough to have an eating disorder”

  33. Sarah says:

    A lot of people think that how I look = how I am doing. MYTH!
    Even my Dr. said to me once , “You don’t look like you’re in any real danger.”, when I told him that I was having trouble.
    People with anorexia die from suicide as well as from complications of their eating disorder…

  34. belle says:

    i hate when people think its like a diet you can go on for a few weeks to lose all the weight you want. its so much more…and a lot of people dont seem to realize that.
    example: when my (somewhat overweight) best friend found out i had an eating disorder she said, “you know, i wish i had an eating disorder so i could lose some weight like you did. im just too lazy to do all that.”
    …i wish i was kidding.

  35. Kari says:

    The one stereotypical idea I find most disheartening is the “You’re fat; you need to eat less anyway.”

    It breaks my heart whenever I hear that said or even implied. People don’t know about my ED, but it stills make me feel or sad. I’m trying to break out fo my vicious cycles and those comments just push me on.

  36. Niika says:

    That because I am generally a rational person, I should be able to just pull myself out of ED behaviors because I “know better”.

    That this rationality also should allow me to know exactly what strategies to use on myself to combat ED stuff. This is complete bulls*** because my ED comes from emotional problems, and has nothing to do with how rational I seem/am.

  37. Jen says:

    I love my eating disorder and I’m doing it because I want to be “Thin” it has nothing to do with having low self-esteem, horrible parents, pressure and wanting to be in control.

    It’s all just about wanting to be thin.

  38. jody says:

    you can’t have anorexia if you’re overweight, too smart to have it, you don’t look thin enough to be that sick…

  39. Courtney says:

    That complimenting my physical appearance in ways such as “You look fine” or “You are perfect” are comforting or helpful in any way.

    Nothing said about physical appearance can sink in. I can’t see it and certainly don’t believe others when told so. “Fine” basically translates to fat cow to an anorectic. And no one is perfect.

    Any comments on physical appearance typically reaffirm the anorectic’s mindset people value them depending on their looks.

    My loving and caring boyfriend makes this mistake. He tells me I’m perfect and that I don’t need to lose weight. Well, I have starved myself down to the point I’m at now. I can’t maintain my current weight unless I remain unhealthy. Thus my negative mindset tells me that if I was heavier he would not see me as perfect and encourages my unhealthy behaviors.

  40. Courtney says:

    Just finished “Lying in Weight: The Hidden Epidemic of Eating Disorders in Adult Women” by Trisha Gura.

    If anyone wants to learn about and understand eating disorders, this book contains profoundly cutting edge research and truths about E.D.s.

    I’ve read so many books on the subject, but not one has even scratched the surface with accuracy as the previously mentioned does.

  41. anny says:

    i must be starving myself because i want to look like, i don’t know, a model. an actress. a barbie!

    i love your blog and your written voice
    it’s wonderful and sometimes makes me eat little snacks after i read.
    ( : <3

  42. Lisa says:

    I am too fat to have an eating disorder and I’m just a “wannarexic” (even though I never claim to have Anorexia, I am ED-NOS).

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