Be a Troll

I posted an ad last week that has sparked quite a bit of controversy called “Make Your Daughter Anorexic.”

picture4.jpg

This enlightening post gave me an idea, let’s call it the Pro Ana Troll Experiment.

My goal here is to encourage parents, adults, and other non-proanaorexia faithfuls to emerge themselves in this world and share their feedback.

 head-in-sand.jpg

(Translation:  PARENTS…….WAKE UP)

 To participate in this experiment, please do the following:

1 Go to Google Type in Pro Ana. Spend 15 minutes clicking through the results and reading the content.

2 Go to YouTube.com. Search for Pro Ana. Spend 15 minutes watching the proana videos girls have uploaded to the site.

3 Come back here and tell us your thoughts, feelings and feedback after viewing this material.

To All Pro Ana Girls: How can you participate? 

1 Please post your feelings about why you visit these sites, and what they do for you. 

2 Tell us if your parents have played a part in your disorder or if they have helped you out of it.

3 Dream a little…..what would you do if for 1 day you were your beloved Nicole Richie?

nicolerichiepicture.jpg

Looking forward to the storm,

mamaV

This entry was posted in Eating Disorders, Pro Anorexia. Bookmark the permalink.

56 Responses to Be a Troll

  1. Jane says:

    Good idea MamaV! You said it perfectly!!

    Having an ED, here are my responses… I go to pro-ana sites because they are the only places where people accept me for who I am and understand about my ED, there I can get support when I need it and advice when I ask. At these sites I find people who are in the same situation as me with whom I can discuss things that my parents and other people think are pathetic, selfish, destructive and arrogant on my part. At pro-ED sites the members don’t criticise me when I fail to be perfect, they don’t judge me because I’m sick and they don’t care how messed up my head is. They give me a sense of “normality” and help me understand why I feel the need to starve myself, or purge just because of that stupid muffin! They hold my (virtual) hand when I’m scared… basically they do for me what a family should.

    My parents don’t care that I have an ED, so long as I “don’t interfere” with their lives it’s okay. They even criticise me when I gain weight, which obviously pushes me further into my ED and further away from them. “My ED is my life, not theirs” as they put it.

    And, if I was NR for a day I would likely do exactly what I do now… anything that is ED related. I’d like to think that I’d be happy, that people would love me, that I would have that satisfaction of knowing I was good enough the way I was – but I know I wouldn’t be. I’d still be the same – scared, unloved, lonely.

    Jane x

  2. Lana/lani says:

    I used to visit the pro ana sites, but I got bored of them and all their stupid AnA lUv

  3. contadine says:

    I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum of the previous poster. I blog about my obesity, my attempts to lose weight, and my attempts to love myself as is. Yet, I think we’re two sides of the same coin. Punishing ourselves through our bodies for all the things we perceive we are lacking.

    A girlfriend of my brothers suffered from bulima. We were aware, but not really *aware*. She finally turned to plastic surgery (totally unnecessary), and still was horribly unhappy with herself. I thought I understood what she was going through, until…

    One day, while going through my blog stats, I found a search term I was unfamiliar with. I clicked on it, and found myself browsing through Pro-Ana sites.

    I can’t remember a time when I was so saddened by the world as I was that day. I really wish I had never seen those sites. To think of it now brings tears to my eyes.

    I know I face a lot of discrimination, ridicule, and stereotyping because of my body. I know how much I hate myself some days. I know how much I feel like I’d do *anything* to change it.

    But it nowhere begins to approach the level of agony, despair and hurt these girls seem to be going through. To have such a distorted image of themselves, to have narrowed their life experience down to one tiny facet, to be all consumed by it. To have no life outside of their disorder, to literally lose their lives to it.

    I hope this doesn’t sound rude, but I’d live the rest of my life fat and be happy about it any day over going through what these girls go through.

  4. anne says:

    I find this parents, wake up! ad extremely offensive. There are many very awake, concerned, loving, caring parents out there.

    Jane, this message is for you personally. I can’t judge your family situation. There is no way I can and I wouldn’t if I could. What matters is how you are feeling which sounds in your own words unloved, scared and lonely. You are a young woman who deserves more than these feelings. You deserve to live fully. You deserve to feel good about yourself. You deserve to get rid of your eating disorder, but you will likely need support to do this. In person support from a good counselor can mean so much. I don’t know where you are, I don’t know what your financial means are, your age, or anything about you. But you deserve help and to live life to the fullest. The eating disorder is and will hurt you. It won’t allow you to live life the way you deserve. But, neither do I believe this is your fault. I saw how hard my daughter worked to overcome her ED and this was with a lot of support. If your family cannot help you, there are other places you can go. Going to other people who are in the throes of illness themselves is highly unlikely to get you better. In fact, it is much more likely to keep you ill. I would encourage you. as scary as it is, to ask for help. Pick up the phone and call your local hospital or mental health service. Keep calling. Be persistant. Get a trusted adult to help you (someone from your mosque, your school or university, an older friend, someone you believe is wise and loving and will follow through). Do this for yourself. Anorexia and bulimia are not friends. There is a whole world waiting for you. You deserve the best.

  5. anne says:

    MamaV,

    Your site (and I’ve granted only looked at a limited amount of it) is confusing to me. I believe your message here is suppose to be to help young people get better and rid themselves of eating disorders. As it’s spokesperson, you’ve “been there” youself . Yet I feel this site sends a very mixed message. Encouraging young people to troll proana sites is not a step toward wellness and is frankly not responsible. I tried to think how to word this kindly, but I couldn’t come up with any other way to say it. Posting pictures that many may find encouraging to their illness (and some have even said so) is not helpful either. You have an obvious following and the potential to do real good. Please use the power of the web, your own power, voice and vision, to encourage lasting wellness in young people. I think, if you give it some thought, that in your heart of heart, you know how to do this.

    This is my last and final posting as I have said all I intend.

    anne

  6. Gabi says:

    the websites make you feel like your not alone at a time when you couldnt feel more alone. in my case they allow me to vent about thingsi am not allowed to vent about out loud. my parents are sus about me, they dont know though. but my mum has every part to play in it, and yet she denies anything she said to me as a child. she a selfish cow who i hate more so much right now. especially after she tried to kill herself and yet m still trying to please her!!! im still petfied of failing my exams and failing her and even more now cos i already bear myself responsible for what she did. i didnt turn out how she wanted and no matter how hard i try i dont think i ever will yet i cant stop trying. phew venting!…see this sites help me do that…

    the one thing people dont seem to realise about the sites or forums are that it is up to the individual which section they look into. i ony look into certain sections of the site i go into.

  7. Gina says:

    For me pro Ana sights give me a sense of relief. Almost the same relief that purging gives me. Like a satisfaction that one day I could possibly look at that. So sometimes I go to that if I can’t purge or restrict, etc.

  8. Laura says:

    I don’t really fit either criteria. I don’t post or participate on proAna sites, but I do have a few that I look at and I have watched some YouTube videos. I mostly frequent a livejournal site which girls post pictures of themselves and their friends to show what real thin girls look like…or what they are now referring to as healthy thin. I look at that site mostly to admire what I can never attain, which is thinness and beauty. I’ll never be those girls so I just keep looking at them to hate myself even more.

    My parents are the direct cause of my eating disorder. My father weighed me every day, multiple times a day to see if I had gained. (or eaten without his permission) My mother would starve me into submission and then feed me food she had laced with medication to the point of me having my bowels shut down due to toxins. So yeah, they are very rooted in my ED and I continue to engage in these behaviors because I haven’t made sense or processed the real meaning of food and nourishment.

    I wouldn’t want to be Nicole Ritchie, it’s just a nice body with a whole different set of problems. She doesn’t seem happy and being her for one day wouldnt make me feel any different about my own body…it’d probably make me feel worse.

  9. mamavision says:

    Hi Anne: I apologize if this post was not clear. I am telling parents to “be a troll.” I am encouraging parents to “wake up” check up on what their kids are doing online, and I am feeding them information about proana so they will go check it out and be as shocked as I am.

    Then I asked the girls to post about their feelings about the sites (they are all visitors to proana- thats how they end up here because I come up in the search results). I was specific in my message to the girls because I want the parents, such as yourself to read their words and feelings about why they go to the sites. I want all of us parents to read in their own words how their parents did or did not play a role in their ED, or on the flip side how did they help in recovery! I for example was blessed with parents who would do anything for me, they provide an awesome environment for me, they listen, they love me no matter what. When it came to my ED I knew I could trust them and they saved me but getting me the appropriate treatment.

    But Anne, not all parents are like you, or my parents…did you read the posts above? The post from Laura is heartbreaking. It kills me to think a child suffered in that environment and is still suffering today.

    I understand that posting a picture that is triggering to some may seem contradictory but realistically she is splattered all over the web and magazines, you can’t get away from her if you try! Here I fear you are missing the point so let me try to explain- my desire is for parents to read and really stop and think about what the girls are saying. They so desire to be an anorexic hollywood star. Isn’t there something just so wrong about this that it makes you want to scream? It does me.

    Any you know what else? No on seems to be listening to them. That’s why this blog has a following, I just put the topics out there- but the girls drive it. Why? Because they care and they really don’t want to be living this insane life they find themselves in.

    I hope you will stay and continue to post. Your commentary and perspective is valid, and important. Please consider what I have said and don’t turn away.

    Take care! And really, thanks for all the energy you have put into your postings, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.
    mamaV

  10. mamavision says:

    Hi Laura: Your story breaks my heart. I will post something direct to you blog.
    Love,
    mamaV

  11. mamavision says:

    Hi Constantine: Thank you for your heartfelt and articulate post. I couldn’t have said it better myself. These words of wisdom coming from an individual such as yourself who knows the struggle of weight issues is very powerful.

    Your story of how you stumbled on proana sites is really interesting. It hits home with me because my experience was similar. I instead heard the term somewhere and I was up late one night, and I typed it into google. I sat there and hesitated, I was afraid of what I would read. I have a 7 year old daughter, and really she is my inspiration for all of this. I clicked search, and spent the next two hours reading pro ana forum posts. I was literally shaken.

    This is how I want every parent to feel. I should know expand that to every person to feel. Everyones to be aware of this trend, aware of how prevelent and disturbing it is. don’t you agree?

    Thanks again, you certainly have a way with works. I hope you are able to come to peace with your body image, it can be a long road, but I have a feeling you are on the right path.

    Take care!
    mamaV

  12. mamavision says:

    Hi Jane: Thanks for your post. You articulated something I have not been able to. The way you describe the support you get from the proana sites is genius. I may use this in a future post if you approve?

    The comments on your parents is sad and beyond me. I don’t know how parents can live with themselves when their children feel like they are an intrusion- I hope you realize the pure selfishness in this, you deserve better.

    The thought that they comment if you gain weight is also disturbing. So they are completely aware you have an ED, and they say what to you when you gain weight?

    Really they are right on the last comment- this is your problem because they have wiped their hands clean of you. You need to now wipe your hands clean of their negative influence and reach out to those postive influences in your life that can help, listen, understand and show you the kind of friendship and support you need.

    I see how your ProAna friends serve a purpose, but I am concerned they can only help to a point….you need to talk to a professional, are you doing so? If not , why have you not made this step?

    mamaV
    XOXO

  13. Amy says:

    I don’t visit pro-ana sites as much as I did anymore, and when I do it’s now usually for tips and dieting and to talk to people – not for pictures of skinny people. Because right now this has progressed from an obsession to a very, very personal thing for me. It’s me and my fight against my body, in a sense, I suppose. So seeing pictures of other thin girls doesn’t help me much anymore, I feel apathetic to them because it was never about them. It’s always been about me.

    But, to get to the point, I guess you could say that when I do visit those sites I do it because it’s easy. I know it’s not the only place to go to for people to accept me. Because I know your blog and other blogs focused on healthy living and recovery will also accept me. But to me, that is work. That means admitting I have a problem. To the outside world, I am the freak and I have to hide my behaviors and thoughts.

    It’s that whole feeling of belonging. No one questions you on those sites and asks you how you feel about it, no one is going to ship you off to the hospital, and no one’s going to wag their finger at you. In fact, it’s encouraging. When I look at it from an outsider’s view, I know it must seem sick and frightening. Basically like it’s a group of people helping each other kill themselves. And I get that outlook on it, because it sort of is. I know I would never want any of my siblings going on one of those sites and it scares me to think about anyone I care about to think the things I do.
    But when it’s me, it just makes so much sense.

    There was a point in my life (last year) when I deleted all the pro-ana sites I had bookmarked on my computer. But a week later they were back on there and I was visiting them every night for “support” and for tips and something to distract myself from the fact that I was hurting myself.
    Because, if everyone’s doing it, it can’t be that bad, right? That’s what I think those sites make me feel.

    When I visit sites focused on health, I feel guilty and like the black sheep.

    When I visit, pro-ana places, I can’t help but feel like things are okay.
    Even if they aren’t, and even if I hate it.

    Thank you for doing what you do.
    Amy

  14. Hillary says:

    i used to visit pro ana sites for the support and the understanding i received from the other girls. until i realized that i didn’t want anything pro ED, just pro-support. so i quit the sites, except for going there for thinspiration. and i know im getting better because before, if it was thin, it was beautiful, but now the protruding bones look ghastly to me. also, while i still look at thinsperation, it doesnt have the same effect. instead of seeing the pictures as a goal, they’re just pretty to me. like art in some cases. rambling now. sorry.

  15. -Jen- says:

    MamaV-

    I haven’t visited pro ana sites in years, but after reading this post I decided to check them out. I wanted to see if they were like I remembered them. I was never really big on the whole pro ana thing- I already knew the tips and tricks and I didn’t need any more help with it. But, tonight when I went through all the pages I was completely triggered. Everything that I used to do was there! Everything that I wanted to be for so long was there. Right now I know that I can’t work towards becoming that thin, but eventually, after the baby is here, I’m really afraid that I will turn to that again. I still don’t understand what it is about these sites that suck you in and make you feel completely horrible, and even though I pulled myself away from looking at them, I can’t say that I won’t be looking again. Here we go again…

  16. Amelie says:

    1 Please post your feelings about why you visit these sites, and what they do for you.

    Some of the best people I have ever met in my life are on these sites, girls I have met in real life, girls who I talk on the phone to, go shopping with, play with their babies, and give and receive advice on EVERY aspect of our lives. They don’t teach anorexia…they help me realise I’m not alone.

    2 Tell us if your parents have played a part in your disorder or if they have helped you out of it.

    My parents aren’t aware, and if they did have a part in it, that’s not something I’m conscious of.

    3 Dream a little…..what would you do if for 1 day you were your beloved Nicole Richie?

    I would rather eat human entrails than be Nicole Richie for a day. Nicole Richie is a perfect example of why we are viewed in a such negative light. We’re not trying to hurt anyone, we’re not recruiting girls into this disease. Nicole Richie, albeit unconsciously, is like a mascot for those sites who do. Not to mention that she is a total dumb-dumb and wears a lot of stupid things. Please don’t pigeonhole us into this ridiculous category of 16-year-olds who spend their nights exercising and singing Paris Hilton tracks under their breath. Get stuffed. I don’t strive to be someone I’m not – I strive to be a better version of myself.

  17. Jane says:

    MamaV of course you can use what I said, I posted them on your site :o)

    I don’t think my parents are selfish really, I think that they would rather pretend it wasn’t really a big deal because they don’t know how to handle it. Well, I hope that’s why – I try to pretend that they care anyway. It is my own fault, and I know that so I guess they are doinf what they think is right. When I put on weight they just tell me to my face that my ED isn’t working or that I’ve got fat, what I would expect really.

    I did get help, for two years – I even went to the point of admitting myself to hospital last summer and did well in recovery, but then when I left I relapsed when my dad told my I’d gained so much weight and was fat/ugly etc. I don’t really see the point in bothering again. x

    Anne – Thank you for your post :o) If you read what I wrote to MamaV I’ve explained about my attempts to recover (that lasted for two years) and why I can’t see any point in trying again. I am getting healthier, partly because of this site and also because I haven’t had to cope with my parents for the last month. I know that my ED isn’t really a friend, but it feels like it’s the only thing I have to turn to. I’ve spoken to several people in an attempt to get help, but most of the support stopped when I left Spain after leaving hospital. So, I will keep fighting as much as I can, I hate living like this, but as you know from experience, it’s bloody hard! x

    Amelia – I don’t think that MamaV was pigeonholing us into any catagory – but just have a look at the pro-ana sites you go on…. more than likely NR is one of the most frequently posted thinspo pictures! I think thats why she chose her, not to offend anyone. x

  18. anne says:

    Jane-

    It sounds to me like your parents may not understand the illness. Weight gain after starvation–even more than what might be your own natural ‘healthy range’–is not unusual. It is the body’s response to starvation and, as such, IS common. It’s your body’s attempt to renourish itself. I would like to encourage you not to give up, to give it another try. I applaud you for having gotten help for two whole years. Good for you. And admitting yourself to hospital even! That was very brave. I understand just HOW brave. Your dad sounds like he really might care, but not understand. Maybe you could give him the maudsleyparents.org website if you think it would help. This is not a site for sufferers, but for their families and for carers. It gives good, sound information. It provides a support community for families and they, in turn, can support their ill loved ones. You deserve this Jane.

    I am leaving this morning on a trip and won’t be able to write any longer as I will be gone quite some time. Just remember the strength it took you to ask for help, to reach out. That was your heart speaking. That was the real you, Jane. You did it once. You can do it again.

  19. Gabi says:

    a lot of people seem to really hate nicole for how thin she is. yes she has been used (even i use her) for thinspiration, and people blame her. she has never once advocated how thin she is and has even stated that she knows she is too thin and doent want girls to be as thin as she is because it is a problem. she doesnt flaunt how thin she is. like all the anorexics and bulimics out there she is just the same. someone suffering. unfortunately for her it is all publicised and the media infact flaunt her thinness. not her. thos who choose to use her do so outof their own free will!
    but if i were my beloved nicole richie for the day, i would spend the day in an ice rink skating all the moves she can do….i know thats so dumb, but i like to skate!

  20. Mamavision,

    I admire your desire to help others, but I believe your understanding of what causes, maintains, and helps eating disordered people is mistaken.

    An eating disorder is a very serious mental illness, not a cry for help or a desire to be thin. Eating disorders are biologically based self-sustaining behaviors. You can’t choose to have an eating disorder, and you can’t make someone get an eating disorder.

    Parents know about pro-ana sites. We are not ignorant of what symptomatic eating disordered people think – we live with our dear children. But the thoughts and feelings expressed on pro-ana sites are not rational, or supportive, or cries for help. These are desperately ill people who have little insight into their condition. You cannot learn about eating disorders from pro-ana sites – all you can learn is how ill they are and what horrific damage these illnesses do to the brain and relationships.

    You are not helping the people who seek you out. You are harming them by promoting the idea that this is about a desire to be thin. You are harming them by promoting the completely bankrupt idea that parents can cause an eating disorder. You are harming them by not saying that what they need is to TRUST their loved ones, accept real treatment, and be fully fed.

    I understand why untreated anorexic and bulimic people misunderstand the illness. But those of us without the illness have a responsibility to educate ourselves and speak with compassion and with full knowledge of the consequences.

  21. wanderer says:

    But the thing of it is, Laura? Not all parents are as informed and passionate about understanding anorexia as you are, and thus through ignorance, or even downright neglect, contribute to, if not cause, eating disorders. Did you read Laura’s post above about how her parents treated her? Did you? I did and my heart went out to her.

    Wish my parents had paid attention and had compassion when I was anorexic and cared about the research and recovery like you do. But they didn’t. They ignored me. When friends spoke out on my behalf, they ignored my friends. I’m not blaming them for all that happened because I’m past that now, but I feel their lack of concern contributed to the slowness of my recovery and the years of self-hatred I dealt with in the aftermath.

    I appreciate your perspective on anorexia and no, we can’t deny the underlying genetics, but I am wary of the biology-only model for eating disorders and other mental illnesses. We don’t grow up in a vaccuum, we are surrounded by culture and people. MamaV got her perspective on eating disorders from her experience as a model, and in this society, models have high visibility and impact on young women’s lives. And even if anorexia is genetic, the imagery in fashion magazines, and the emphasis on thin=glamour and beauty and everything desirable, is one HELL of a trigger for many young women.

    I don’t get the feeling that MamaV is trying to divide children against parents–I think she’s sounding the alarm, trying to wake people up that these sites exist. Because many parents DON’T know and don’t care to educate themselves unless someone practically slaps them upside the head with the evidence.

  22. Hellsy says:

    I understand the concern any parent could feel at the idea of their daughter or son visiting pro-ana sites. I will be honest with you that if I had any children I would also be concerned. However, the reason I would be concerned is that to me it would symbolise something far bigger. Pro-ana sites are not going to ‘make someone anorexic’. Believe me that does not happen, I have seen compulsive overeaters and bulimics join some of the sites I frequent and despite their apparent desire to ‘learn to starve’ it has not worked for them. Eating disorders are NOT ABOUT THE FOOD! They really are about how the person is feeling. Eating disorders are about coping with life in the only way that person ever learned how to, that is why it is hard to recover…you can only recover if you learn a better way to cope with life.

    From my own long experience as a member of several sites I can only praise the courage and overwhelming love that most of these girls have and give. They always get concerned about their friends. I feel closer to some of them than I ever could to my own family, and I do love my family too. When you are suffocating in the utmost depths of darkest despair and self loathing, it is only these fellow ed sufferers that can understand 100% what you are feeling. That empathy, borne of complete acceptance and understanding, is a powerful connection.

    You may wonder why we don’t just go to recovery sites instead. Well I tried those too for a while. The problem with those is that they just don’t allow you the freedom to say how bad you really feel. They are worried that it could set someone back in their recovery if they are at a vulnerable stage. Freedom of speech is a good thing, particularly in the case of people still ambiguous about recovery. I personally would never encourage people to hurt themselves and rarely share my stats with the girls – they don’t need me to help them hurt themselves, they are already doing it. What I hope I offer the girls I talk with online, and offline now too, is support, love, and hope that one day things will be better and that after all the sadness and rain will come their sunshine and happiness. I do believe that, and if I can just be their shoulder to lean on until that day, then that is what I will do.

    In the meantime whenever I feel more inclined to work on my recovery (I go through phases) they are nothing but supportive to me. They offer to amend their posts to have ‘T’ in the title for any things I might find unhelpful to read during that time, and they offer anything and everything that could be helpful to me. We all would do this for each other.

    As to the Nicole Ritchie thing – she is hurting too, and i would never aspire to be her. Unlike some anorexics who get to live their torment in private, she has hers displayed across pathetic tabloids and magazines. Thinspiration is occasionally motivating to some anorexics, but it does not make you have anorexia, it is simply another way that some of us use to reflect the fact that we feel flawed inside.

    My advice to any parents, if you think your child is visiting these sites do not instigate some big row, no matter how shocked you are feeling, instead you need to try and educate yourselves. You need to learn who your child really is. You don’t really know your child at all if you do not learn about the part of them that feels huge enough to overwhelm them. So instead of ‘trolling’ pro-ana sites, go out with your kids. Make them see that they are perfect no matter what and maybe they will never know the self-loathing and feelings of worthlessness that so many ed sufferers have felt.

    Hellsy

  23. E says:

    1 Please post your feelings about why you visit these sites, and what they do for you.

    – I have visited them for a long time, in hope to find someone to listen to how i feel without any judgment, and i have grown so close to some of them. but i can still remain anonymous.

    2 Tell us if your parents have played a part in your disorder or if they have helped you out of it.

    – My mother has been critical of every decision i have ever made and my father was non existent for the majority of my child hood. none of them have ever helped me.

    3 Dream a little…..what would you do if for 1 day you were your beloved Nicole Richie?

    I wouldn’t want to be Nicole Richie, poor girl, her life on display like that.

  24. Heidi says:

    I go to Pro Ana sites to get myself to stop binging. I have the “forgotten”, less harmful ED, binge eating disorder. I am 32 and learned to stuff away bad feelings with food at age 7 after being molested. I so wish I would have gone the other way. I hate food and love it at the same time and wish everyday that I could change the relationship I have with it. I am in outpatient treatment right now but I am still really struggling because I feel different because I don’t starve or purge after I binge. I want to be thin and by looking at extremely thin girls I hope and pray it’ll rub off enough one day on to me so that I can maybe fit in a seatbelt and wipe my own ass. Things that I can barely do now that I have made myself morbidly obese. I hate life. And the world hates fat. Why live?

  25. Nora says:

    1 Please post your feelings about why you visit these sites, and what they do for you.
    -I’m active in one forum, but thats all. The pro ana sites doesn’t give so much to me. And if i want some (th)inspiration then I go to youtube and watch some Reverse thinspitation films (like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMf2j0LM7oU).

    2 Tell us if your parents have played a part in your disorder or if they have helped you out of it.

    -My foster mam is the reason for my ED. Wen I was 13 she tught that i was fat and put me on a very sick diet. Basicly one apple on the morning, some sallad for lunch and another apple or some more sallad in the evening and ofcourse lots of water… And every day I did run 3-4 miles. She did weigh me every morning (and during school weeks also efter school), And if I did gan weight, even 100g then I wasn’t aloud to go to school that day. I did stay home and did some extra exercise. Some times I was so hungry that i did eat a piece of bread att school and of course she did get to know it (other foster kids get paid when they told her if I did eat during the school days). When I was 14 i got heart attack. After that my foster mam never said anything about my weight, but it didn’t matter the damage was allready done, I was anorexic. And I think she enjoyed to see it, (I tried to get help from my school doctor, but my foster mum didn’t aloud any treatment och therapy). Now I’m 25 and every single day is a battle…

    3 Dream a little…..what would you do if for 1 day you were your beloved Nicole Richie?
    I really don’t want to even think about it… I think i have much better compared to her.

  26. Jane says:

    Hellsy – I think everyone here knows that ED’s arent about the food. MamaV is trying to raise parents awareness of the sites that promote ED’s, not telling parents to get information about eating disorders from them. And of course an ED is just a manifestation of a much deeper problem, but the first concern should be to ensure that a sufferer gets HEALTHY!

    Parents HAVE to be aware of the peo-ana world out there. Surely it is important to understand the places your child is visiting to get support? Having an ED myself, I am pretty sure that irregardless of how much my parents went out with me and tried to make me see that I am fine the way I am, I know that my ED is so embedded that it would do very little or no good. It is also important to realise that most people who are reading this site either have an ED, did have one or are coping with the effects of an ED on a loved one. Therefore for these particular people, I believe it is imperative to see the effects pro sites have.

    Laura – wanderer conveyed what I want to say perfectly. There are of course parents like you who do care and educate themselves, but there are so many more who don’t…. who really don’t know and wont think to look for information. Parents need to see the sufferers side of the ED world; not just the medical stuff that is shown on most websites. Our side differs greatly, we know all the facts, but if people only look at these, they are going to miss a lot of things. Only the people who are going through this nightmare can really explain what it’s like.

    MamaV has my total support here. She is doing a great deal to promote the dangers of the pro ana world. Something parents aught to be aware of, and has been the most supportive person I have had the pleasure to meet. I know that most of the people with ED’s want parents and carers to be aware of what they are going through… by not posting things like this people would remain unaware.

  27. Vanessa says:

    in response to both this post and the comments of Laura Collins i’d like to say something:
    perhaps eating disorder sufferers are driven to visit pro-ana sites in part because “supportive” people, including family, treat them as if they are delusional mentally ill people who are incapable of forming valid thoughts or opinions. i know that is one factor in my choice to visit pro forums, even though i’d agree the form of support found there isn’t entirely healthy. while eating disorders are indeed mental illnesses and anorexia in particular can have severe mental effects due to starvation, an individual suffering from an eating disorder is still a human being, and ought to be respected as such, despite their illness.

  28. wanderer says:

    Thanks, Jane.

    And Heidi–my heart goes out to you as well. You can get better and I believe you will find a way to resolve your pain without relying on binge eating or anorexia. Healing can take a long time, but it can be done. There is lots to live for.

    And I understand what Vanessa is saying above–anorexics are people too, even if they are suffering from mental illness, and deserve to be heard and respected. Pro-ana forums aren’t healthy but sufferers go to them because they need a place to be heard. Maybe in addition to the focus on re-nourishment, shouldn’t we also listen to the hopes, fears, and thoughts of the sufferers?

  29. Heidi says:

    Thanks Wanderer. I hope I can find something to live for too before it’s too late.

  30. Angie says:

    May I say something?

    I used to troll around proana sites. I was bulimic and anorexic. Undiagnosed- my family believes that any mental problems should be dealt with alone, without professional or family help, but all the same. I still purge sometimes, but more because when something upsets me, it helps- or when I watch TV shows or movies where the starlets are impossibly thin. (I remember purging half a chinese food buffet after seeing The Devil Wears Prada).

    I was recently told by my grandmother that I looked my best when I weighed 75lbs, at 5’0″, when I was 15. I’ve grown 4 inches since then, maybe 5. I’m not allowed to weigh myself, but I wear a size 4 on a good day and a size 8 on a bad day. My mom wants me to go on a diet, so I can get down to 100lbs by the time I get married (in about 2 years). In the same breath, she’ll scream at me for hating my body the way I do… even though she makes complaining about her own size a hobby. I dispise myself, I honestly wish that I could look in the mirror and see what my fiance sees, but all I see is a big potato.

    I don’t know if every eating disorder is caused or triggered by something specific, I was molested by a classmate when I was 13 and then beaten and raped by an abusive boyfriend when I was 15, so I do know what triggered mine. I don’t think my body will let me be anorexic again, though. I tried eating 800 kcal/day, and I passed out at my fiance’s cousin’s baptism, so he force-fed me pizza and carrot sticks… and I’m a total b*tch when I’m hungry. He’s probably the only one in my life who wants me to eat. He’s really the one thing that keeps me from going back- he truly loves me, and for him, I’ll be fat and happy rather than skinny and mean.

    (And, for the record, the only thing that makes me “unhealthy” is the number on the scale. I have blood pressure on the verge of being too low. Same with cholesterol. And my resting heart rate is 60beats/min.)

    And Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are selfish, self-centered whores. The only reason I’d ever want to “be” them is to go on “Next Best Thing.” I don’t hate myself for not being them. I hate myself for not being myself at 15.

  31. Laura says:

    Thanks so much for the support of everyone here, and thanks mamaV for commenting at my blog.

    I am not sure that I can articulate this very well, but I am going to try anyway. Obviously not every persons eating disorder is caused by one thing, parents, life events, traumatic histories but I have found that it’s very true what ANAD sys about eating disorders. They are disorders of intimacy. Basically whatever is going on in your life using an ED to put a wall between yourself and the painful or overwhelming feelings makes perfect sense…what we also do is confuse putting walls up against our feelings also puts barriers between us and the people and things we enjoy.

    For me, as a kid, using my learned ED as a way to cope made a lot of sense because I could distance myself from my parents, they hurt me so why not try and protect myself. Unfortunatly I am learning now how that is just not working for me now. They taught me how to have an eating disorder and they also gave me the most helpful but the most dangerous (to myself) weapon against them.

    So parents might not be a DIRECT role in causing an eating disorder, I just have to wonder what kind of dynamics are going on to make anyone need to distance themselves in such a dangerous way…and shouldn’t kids be able to go to their parents with most anything? Or is that just one of my delusions about how it SHOULD be?

    I guess I also wanted to say that it’s not true that all the ‘blame’ lies with the parents. Each situation is unique. People with ED’s that are minors and don’t have resources to get help, yes the RESPONSIBILITY lies with the parents. However, as an adult I don’t find it helpful to focus on exactly how I got it, I find it more helpful to focus on how I am not going to be defined by it. It’s now my job to fix it, sure it is not fair. and it SUCKS, but it is my job now to care for ME.

    I just wish that I could do more for myself. I don’t know much about being healthy…and my resources are limited. But I do try…I just hope that trying is enough.

  32. PrincessAmie says:

    Hey Mamma

    I first started going on pro ana sites when i was 12 or 13. I found the sites to be like comforting, it was a place to go when the world around me was falling apart. I felt like i finally found someone who could understand why i did certain things, i felt that is was ok to feel what i did and it gave me a break and a rest from having to pretend to be happy, ok and not dying inside. It helped me deal with the problems that were happening in my life, it was a place where i could vent and let out my frustrations, i couldnt do this in my real life. Its hard having an ed because people think that because you do it to yourself your not effected by it emotionally or mentally, but at times i feel like a victim of myself, sometime i just need somewhere to go and say ‘im sick of having her scream at me, im sick of feeling like i am nothing’ if i were to say this to anyone who didnt have an ed they would think i was suffering from skitzaphrenia(cant spell) I feel welcomed, loved for who i am, and wanted. I can be the real me in there, i can express my feelings and be heard. Most of all though i feel loved.

    My family, well where to start. I havent had a breezy childhood, my father died when i was 6, a family friends sexually abused me when i was 6 until i was 8 or 9. (my mum new about it but chose to do nothing as she had her own problems) My mum had an eating disorder my entire life, she limited what my brother, sister and I ate. At age 9 she met a new guy, my sister aged 13 was kicked out, she moved in with my grandparents 2 hours away. My mum, brother and i moved in with mums new boyfriend, I was asked to leave by my mum, i was 10, i went to stay with a family friend, a week later the police were on the door accusing my friends parents of kidnapping me. My brother 16 moved out to my grandparents house, i was 11. my mums partner would hit me, he was very cruel with what he did, my mum never stood up for me, that is when my ed started, i was 12yrs old, i lost 15kg (33lbs) in under 2 months… my school rung my mum, mum hadnt noticed. she came and got me from school… i remember that day, she hugged me and said i looked beautiful… 1 month later i was taken into foster care foe neglect, physical and emotional abuse and because my mum failed to protect me as a young child and contined to fail to protect me with her boyfriend… At the same time my sister was diagnosed with anorexia, my ed now failed to exist to my family, i was just seen as coping my sister, wanted to be her and wanting an ed… my sister and i hadnt lived together in close to 4 years, i hardly saw or spoke to her, it wasnt a case of wanting to be like her at all, i didnt know who she was.
    coming into care wasnt great also, i stayed under the government for 6 years, i lived in over 43 placements, i started cutting, overdosing and tried to committ suicide over 10 times in the past 6 years…i have been raped 4 times since being in care, once by a female… i wanted to say all this because i feel like these are the reasons for why i go on pro ana sites, the sites give me a caring, supportive family, a family i have always wanted and never had… i trust these girls with my life, they are genuine, they are caring, they are the stable friends and family i never had…
    I look at NR and i see perfection, i have this idea that i too will be beautiful, that i will be thin and i will be confident… my sister had an ed, she also became a model… i have seen all these good things happen to her resulting from being thin, i too want that…

  33. vinnie says:

    sooooo. I dunno I am always the weiredest person to people. My college roomates pretty much coudnt stand me as much I think as they adored me. Im a self-depricating feminist you see, but I think thats what this type of struggle does to you. I dont want it for anyone else. I wish to empower and educate and protect others but hate myself and and feel I have that right and well yes, but of course back to your qestion. I am actually site-building right now as we speak and one of the things I am writing about is what led to the rise of the pro anorexia movemement. personally I think its this. * 60%of people with eating disorders recover. They maintain healthy weight. They eat a varied diet of normal foods and do not choose exclusively low-cal and non-fat items. They participate in friendships and romantic relationships. They create families and careers. Many say they feel they are stronger people and more insightful about life in general and themselves in particular than they would have been without the disorder.
    * about 40% of people who receive treatment for an eating
    disorder do not recover
    *Even with treatment-20%) of people with eating disorders make only partial recoveries. They remain too much focused on food and weight. They participate only superficially in friendships and romantic relationships. They may hold jobs but seldom have meaningful careers. Much of each paycheck goes to diet books, laxatives, jazzercise type classes, and binge food.
    *the other 20% of people not improve, even with treatment. They are seen repeatedly in emergency rooms, eating disorders programs, and mental health clinics. Their quietly desperate lives revolve around food and weight concerns, spiraling down into depression, loneliness, and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. ( source: ANRED) the point of all thos statistics being. Pro anorectic websites being they create a home for that 40%. The people who live in the limbo of maintenance of their disordered behaviors. I am one of them and I can tell you. The majority not all but the majority of sites you tend to find that are extremists are byyounger people who are victims of environment and culture and who are definitely displaying (in my opinion) mental illness of some sort but an eating disorder it is not . The people I am drawn to are people who similar to myself have found treatment to be unproductive, are still unsatisfied with life, and if they can at least not find some semblance of peace may they at least find other people who understand the unrest they feel inside so they can walk around feeling less crazy not sane because well thats overrated but less crazy.

  34. Jane says:

    Right now I am sat watching Dr. Phil and I thought I aught to post about the show. The episode is discussing children’s body image, self image, self confidence… so it most certainly relates to this discussion!

    There is one girl who is EIGHT years old. She weighs herself constantly, tells herself “millions” of times a day that she’s fat. This little girl has told her mum that she would rather die than have to live looking the way she does. (does that sound like a familiar story to you guys? It certainly echo’s my own life.) Her mum admits that she has had an influence, because she also has such negative self-image herself. The girl was asked how she felt when her mum told her she was beautiful, and she responded, “It doesn’t really mean anything to me. I hate the way I look.”

    I think you should all try to watch this episode if you can. It’s so devastating to see these girls, going through this. I know that we are all going through it everyday, but there is something about seeing other people who have the same sort of feelings. I mean… they are so young, so beautiful, such wonderful people.

    Jane x x x

  35. PrincessAmie says:

    i find it so easy to care, love and nuture other people… to do it to myself is impossibel…

  36. Jane says:

    It’s so sad, right? Why can’t we be the same to ourselves as we are to others?? It breaks my heart to see other people going through the nightmare of an ED yet I feel like its “okay” for me…. it doesn’t matter.

  37. Gina says:

    This has nothing really to do with this entry but I seriously needed some support.
    I’m struggling very badly.
    I’m orthastaic and am losing weight.
    My mom doesn’t really care b/c I’m in my weight range but slowly working myself to the bottom.
    I’m adicted to losing now.
    Any suggestions on how to stay strong?

  38. Christy says:

    I visited pro-anorexia sites for a fairly short period to, as Jane mentioned, seek a sense of “normality.” I found on these sites a place where many people were putting into words feelings that I could completely relate to and it became a source of comfort to know that I too could express my struggles without fear of being judged, ridiculed, and rejected. My reasons for visiting pro-ana sites did not involve seeking tips or thinspiration, but centered on the fact that they provided me a space to relieve myself of burdening thoughts, as well as give and receive support. I agree, however, that they can be detrimental to getting better because most participants are also struggling and are not in the best position to provide support and advice.

    As far as my parents involvement in my ed, no I do not blame either of them. I do believe it is biological. I have a first cousin who also suffers from an ED. Several of my family members tend toward perfectionism and overachievement. Perhaps she and I took the drive for perfectionism a few steps further. I don’t know. I’ve also been prone to depression and anxiety since my early teens that I know fuels my problem.
    One thing I will say is that if ever I have children I will be careful not to make negative comments about my body in front of them. I have a wonderful, supportive mother whom I love very much, but I do remember as a child and young adult often hearing her criticize her body even though I thought she was so beautiful and couldn’t understand what she was talking about. I remember it hurt me to hear her put herself down in such a way because I wanted her to be happy with herself. I remember wishing I could do something to change the way she felt, but I couldn’t. There was nothing I could do and knowing that made me feel helpless. Children do not need to hear their mother’s (or father’s) self-criticize. It did affect me though it did not cause my ED.

    Being Nicole Ritchie for a day…no thank you. Cameras, paparazzi, magazines and tabloids, no privacy just doesn’t sound appealing.

  39. Alexa says:

    1. I’ve searched for a good Pro Ana site, but i cant find anyone in spanish (im Mexican), and in every site i found in english, when i said that im mexican, nobody answers me (Just you Emily, Thanks for that) , its like if im not white, blue eyed, and blonde you cant be a good ana, so this is my only website related to Ana.

    2. My parent arent aware of my ED, because im not very thin, i eat when im with them, and also i dont throw up im my house. My mom its the most kind and beautiful person, i would die before tell her about this, i know i can tell her anything and she would help me , but i just cant dessapoint her like this.

    3. About Nicole Riche,i dont like her. i would prefer to be like Keira Knightly, she’s thin, beautiful, and she always looks happy…

  40. Joey says:

    1. I visit livejournal Proanorexia because i am very lonely, and also because they are my main source of support in getting through and recovering from my ED. I don’t visit any others because they make me feel sick because they are so disrespectful to the real people who suffer.

    2. My father ignores the existence of my ED and has played no part. My mother did pass one comment on my weight which stuck with me (though i was nearly overweight at the time from binge-eating, so i’m not complaining), but also had issues with food herself – while in remission from cancer she developed a deep obsession with healthy eating which perpetuated every member of my family.
    Also genetically i believe she paid a part – related psychiatric illnesses are prevalent amongst my relatives.

    3. Eat guilt-free!

    3.

  41. Jane says:

    Alexa – i speak spanish and always had the same problem finding anywhere online for people who have spanish as a primary or secondary language. (Yo tengo paginas pero no se si son bueno o no…) It’s so difficult unless you have great english (which you do) but it would be much better if we were all able to peruse at our leisure! I also hate the discrimination – it is only the white, blonde, blue eyes, tall girls who ever seem to have ED’s right? WRONG!! Anyway, if you want someone to speak spanish too… soy aqui guapa…. :o)

    Jane x

  42. hollerballer says:

    first of all, i have seen your youtube videos and i think you are great for those who wish to recover. this site is great as well; very interesting.

    1. pro ana sites kind of give me hope. i especially love before and after pictures. you can see people transform themselves from fat to thin, ugly to beautiful, flawed to perfect. seeing what these other girls or celebrities have done challenges me. i want to be thinner than all of them. i want to be the thinnest. and seeing that they did it, reassures me that i can too. when i have hunger pains or am feeling lazy, i go to pro-ana sites. when i see all the skinny girls, i am disgusted with myself. i do not deserve to eat.

    2. i do not have an eating disorder, but sometimes i fast or exercise like crazy if i feel like im gaining weight. however, it is not my parents fault when talking about the way i feel about myself and food. my parents are fat. i do not want to be like them. they do not want me to be fat. i know i cannot disappoint them. sometimes if i feel like i don’t look my best, they won’t be proud of me, or won’t love me.

    3. if i were nicole richie i would seriously be the happiest person ever. i would go out and buy clothing in size 00 and feel amazing. being nicole i would be under ninety pounds. i look forward to the day when i am lower than 100. at 5’8″, i will be perfect. that will be the happiest day of my life. everything i have worked for will have paid off.

  43. mamavision says:

    Hi Laura: I assume you are a parent, a very caring one at that, and it is wonderful you are so in touch.

    With all due respect, I have spent the past year studying ED’s through the blog. Have you read the posts here? Please open your mind and spend time reading what these girls have to say.

    They don’t have the support you speak of. I wish they did, then I would not even need to be here.

    ED’s in the traditional sense are mental illnesses. But there is a whole new bread of ED’s that are not so easily defined. How do you explain “Thinspiration” and “Ana & Mia?” Did you actually do the exercise I detailed above? What were your thoughts, I am not clear on how you can look at Ana & Mia sites or videos and believe these are ingrained mental illnesses?

    Finally, and I hope you are not so angry that you can not hear me. I am always very cautious of those who base there views on their own personal experience. Your personal experience is not the world view. On this topic, you have blinders on.

    Take care,
    mamaV

  44. mamavision says:

    Hi All: This post is very telling of the lack of support here.

    By my estimation we currently have over 40 posts.
    35+ are by ED sufferers

    Less than 5 are from parents. And the parents that did post? Anne, ditched out of here because she can’t take the heat. And Laura Collins has blinders on.

    And another thing, my 68 year old father came over today after he spent last night “Trolling”….he literally said he had to stop because he was getting sick to his stomach over how sad this is. He saw me through every single step of my modeling career, and nothing was even close to what is going on online in the Ana & Mia world.

    Parents, where the HELL are you?
    -mamaV

  45. Pingback: It ain’t pretty. « mamaVISION

  46. Melissa says:

    I only really visit one or two sites
    and I do so because they’re the only place that I can talk to people about the biggest part of my life
    obviously I can’t just start talking to my family and friends about how I want to lose weight and how I’m not eating
    it’s not that I’m looking for tips or tricks or other dumb stuff like that it’s just that the people there can relate to me and they won’t force me into recovery or shrinks etc

  47. Melissa says:

    and it’s not that my parents aren’t supportive
    it’s just that they don’t know
    I mean they did
    but they think I’m recovered
    which I was for a while
    but now I’m not and they don’t know and i do everything I can to hide it….

  48. Jackie C. says:

    Wow, ran across that youtube vid and ended up here. I just wanted to do as mamaV asked and put my reasoning for watching pro-ana vids up here. 1. I want to be so thin that people are afraid to get close to me for fear of making things worse. 2. I want to become so thin that no man will even look at me for fear of seeing the truth of what 1 man did 3. It helps me curb my hunger by reminding me of what WILL be

  49. Natalee says:

    im a pro ana/mia i think its awesome what your doing i really do. i believe this i s a desiease and girls need help. Its awesome. but i dont think your making a splash with the parents because half of them dont even know how to use the computers! hey have you checked out my space! theres alot of pro ana/mia stuff there! i have a page! well i dont really know what to say to you… i get tired thinking about this all the time i just wanted to let you know that what you are doing is awesome! keep it up! and maybe email me! it is always nice to get email form people who care!!! your awesome!

    Nat

  50. PrincessAmie says:

    Ok, i dont really know what to say other than i feel terribly alone. I went to see my counsellor today, i have four counsellors but this particular one helps me with my eating disorder… she can no longer see me and the stupid thing is, it all comes down to money. I feel so sad and rejected, i feel as though i have told her to many things about me and she has run away. I guess having an ed, you already feel alone, but then when you are able to identify and share openly about your ed you see some light and feel like someone in my life actually gets it… now i am embedded deeper into my ed…
    Has anyone else had a counsellor walk out on them? How did you deal with it? Sorry to be petti and annoying…
    xoxo
    Amie

  51. Rachael says:

    I really have not a clue why I still visit these types of sites. When I first started, it was interesting, all the ‘tips’ they had and the information on food and calories. Now i feel i have absorbed all the information i can and every time i visit one of these ED sites i find myself thinking ‘i already know all this’ and ‘I’ve seen all these photos before’.
    Yet i still do it.

    Your site however, the things you have to say are very interesting and really point out the stupidity of todays society. Its great your trying to encourage parents to take a look what their children are being exposed to. I don’t think this post is offensive to anyone.

    2 I don’t involve my parents with anything. They are not part of my personal life. I live with only my dad and I don’t get along with him much, My mum i am more open with however with issues such as this they are My issues not theirs. Its a bit more complicated then what i can write here, but im not a family person. Family never has been a big thing to me and I don’t think it ever will. Because of my past experiences, I don’t understand the bond ‘family’ has, to me two sisters are nothing more then two strangers.

    3 I have absolutely no interest in Nicole. Sure shes thin..but shes got a hideous tan and fashion sense! To me, the ‘person of inspiration’ needs to have more then just skinny, other things can overrule skinny.

    Also, These questions were under ‘pro ana girls’.
    I’m not ‘pro- ana’. It takes a certain sort of pain and emotional despair to be able to starve yourself thin. Its not something you will pick up. I disagree with ‘pro ana’ however i thought I’d fill out the questions anyway…

    Rachael

  52. anne says:

    I resent your “I ditched out of here” comment. I told you I was on a trip. And I was.

    However, I do not think your site is a healthy one. If you want to see where the concerned parents are and how hard they are working to support their loved ones, please look at the maudsleyparents.org web site. You will be simply blown away. Again, the site is a support site to assist families and CARERS, not for sufferers themselves. But I would suggest that your girls (and boys) encourage their families to get involved and take a look at it.

  53. mamavision says:

    Hi Anne: The reason I though you were gone for good is because on your post on June 26th you stated “this is my last post, I have said all I intend to.” I see now you did post later, but I did not expect this.

    I went and checked out the maudsleyparents.org site. This was very interesting and honestly, very encouraging- thank you. The parents are obviously completely committed to their children and willing to do whatever it takes to help them recover.

    I posted to the forum, inviting the parents here. I hope they take me up on it because I think they could lend a needed perspective and point of view.

    Take care and thank you again.
    mamaV

  54. anne says:

    Let me tell you briefly where my daughter “was” and “where” she is now. At age 13, my daughter developed AN and severe depression. She lost significantly enough weight within 4 months to threaten her very life. Her personality changed totally. I feared she was suicidal. She was certainly acting delusional. For 3 long years we battled this demon that had taken over the child I thought I knew so well despite contradictory advise from professionals. At the time her father and I took some of the ‘blame” for her illness from certain professionals (we had not heard of Maudsley then). This was deeply, deeply diffcult for us. Yet this was our child we loved. We HAD to fight for her as she couldn’t fight for herself at the time.

    Now it is almost 5 years later. My daughter is on her way to college this Fall. She has just finished a 3 month trip abroad with a group of other young people. She is working 2,000 miles from home this summer in an outdoor, conservation related job. She has many friends. She has maintained her weight, her grades, her mood. She is still on the sensitive and anxious side. But she is SO much improved. She has a handle on her life. We know how to respond if she needs it. WE WILL RESPOND IF SHE NEEDS IT. If my child can recover, others here can too. My child is a success story. Recovery is possible. A full, rich obession free life is possible. And parents (or other loving relatives/friends) are key. They just need the tools and the support.

  55. Karen says:

    I am so lost. My stepdaughter is anaorexic. I am terrified. I have gone to Pro-Ana sites, that before two days ago I never knew existed. I am looking for answers, for information, for a cure, for hope. It seemed to have started suddenly during the month of July. I only see her part time, usually a few days every other week, sometimes a full week at time. Her behavior was suddenly bizarre. She runs through the house, twitches incessently, consumes a steady diet of ice water, and always crunches the ice. I have witnessed the eating of negative calorie food and watched old favorites go uneaten. This is all I think about, all I talk about and I am in search of answers.

  56. mamavision says:

    Hi Karen: I can help you. Would you email privately? If yes, please send me an email to mamavision@gmail.com.

    I am so glad you are searching for answers, and you recognized the signs of pro ana behavior.

    Looking forward to speaking to you
    Heather
    aka mamaV

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *