ProAna Challenge: Week 1

Ok, girls time to check in.  There’s 98 posts on the ProAna Challenge post, I read the majority, but not sure all followed status on everyone, so please post your update.

First, a few thoughts:

1 There is no failure here. Many of you were so quick to jump to “I failed.” Enough of that, if you try, fall off the wagon, you get back on….got it? :)

2 If you didn’t start last week, start now. If you are reading this post, check out the first one and decide if you are in. Trust me it’s more fun than checking ProAna forums and putting yourself down day in and day out.

3 It seems that the ProAna surfing and posting is so much a part of your day, you are bored with out it. Time to open your eyes, there is a huge world out there waiting for you to explore, why are you all huddled down at your computer looking at the same crap everyday? This habit must be broken.

4 You are responsible for only yourself. You need to let go of responsibility other people, wondering what they are doing, feeling, etc. I am not talking about supporting each other here, I think that is great! It seems you are all making new friends, but here we are treading on dangerous water because you all have the same problem and I don’t want this to become a place to wallow in it.

5 Its the weekend. Please all go out and have some fun. Get away from your computers and FORCE yourself to get involved in something else. When I get home on Friday, I put away my PC and blackberry. I take off my watch, and leave it off all weekend. I get absorbed in my life, my kids, my family. 

6 With that said, I want you all to post how you are doing here, and walk away. No more posting, checking or commenting. Just shut the machine down and leave it, you will survive for a few days trust me.  One post each, that’s all you get….then turn away and focus on you and only you.

Love you all, have a great weekend!

mamaV

PS how do you like the new header? I thought my old one looked outdated, got new glasses, needed a new look. 

——

Here are the names of the posters, some said they were in, then out, then in, so lets see where we are at today:

Jessica

Jane

Joey

Nat

Nats

Emily

Lana

Christy

Melissa 

Laura

Iron

Una

Kerry Elisabeth

Ale.Ana.em

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29 Responses to ProAna Challenge: Week 1

  1. Jane says:

    Am using an internet cafe pc and the key board is bad so appologies for the many typos!

    I’m most certainly out of the pro-ana fast but I am making an effort to restrict my internet usage – my parents are away for a month, so I had the internet cut off for 30 days, meaning that if i want to go online I have to go out to the mall (like now!). Its strange how empty my life feels without these sites, but it is good… I have started spending some time more productively, reading, studying, learning new things, spendiong time with friends… things i never used to do. And the best thing (for me anyway) is that it has brought me closer to my religion – now i dont have an excuse for being busy when its time for prayer, i have the time to read the qur’an… I feel so much better about who i am. So thank you MamaV for making me realise how pathetic my life was. :o)

    I’m still recovering from the hospital thing, so feel a bit crappy, but other than that, this is the best i’ve felt about ME for a long time. Really MamaV, I don’t have the words to thank you for giving me this opportunity… I know I would never have dne this on my own.

    All my love, may god bless you, your family and the whole MamaV commun ity

    Jane x x x x

    P.S Have a great weekend everyone x

    As for the header, i love it, your glasses are cute!

  2. Emily says:

    Heyy, im still in, not doing so well tho :(

    How is everyone else doing??

    Emily
    XxX

  3. I’ve had many failed attempts at this challenge already…but
    I’m still willing to try..

    i think it will have to be more of a “day to day” thing..

    you said, we only get one post each…then no checking, or commenting… for the weekend?

    for me, im not sure its possible to get through a day without having the computer.
    i will do more focusing on me though, and less on thinspiration sites.
    i’ve started a blog. hopefully that will help.
    maybe i’ll even use it for studying? lol

    thankyou for the challenge…
    this will be another try for Day 1.
    even if i fail… i can always try again, tomorrow, right?

  4. Nats says:

    Hiya,

    I’m still in, I’m at a clinic at the month getting help for my ED, I did post on the other one to let you know.
    Things going ok, I couldn’t eat the dinner last night so they made me sit there for four and a half hours til I had finished!!! I know that it is gonna be hard but I feel a bit better. Been weighed today but thank god I don’t know my weight!!! The staff didn’t seem over happy or sadened by what the weight was so not sure how to take that one!
    I hope your all doing ok, I hope to be in touch soon.

    Take care love you all lots xxxx

  5. Gina says:

    Nats Says:I know exactly what your going through. I went to treatment and for a while I coudn’t finish any of meals. I just kept geting suppliment and sometimes I would refuse that until couch rest.
    Just stay strong and hang in there. Things will get better I promis.
    What clinic or treatment place are you at? I was at Remuda Ranch and Remuda Life out in Arizona.

    ~Stayyy Stronggg~

  6. Laura says:

    I’m still here. I went to my first ANAD meetings this week…and so far I haven’t trolled any pro-ana sites. I can’t seem to eliminate the scale and I’ve had several bad days…but I am trying.

  7. Joey says:

    Jane – you’re doing really well – well done!!!

    I’m struggling a bit with the challenge, because when i’m really down i need someone to talk to about how i’m feeling. It feels like i really need to write everything out and have someone listen…and pro-ana sites are great for that, especially cos they won’t think i’m completely crazy.
    Other than that, and dealing with suicides, and a bit of work on keeping mine going (there are groups trying particularly hard at the moment to shut it down – and though i can see their point, and the members need some other form of support, it WILL cause more suicides…and no-one wants that).

    But, as soon as i have broken the challenge i get right back on..so no problem really.

    xxx

  8. Christy says:

    Hi everyone,

    I’m back from a busy trip home. As much as I dreaded going, I think it did me some good. As for the challenge, still no proana sites, and since no scale was available to me at home, I didn’t weigh myself all weekend. I’m a bit anxious about that and seeing the doc tomorrow, but overall I feel surprisingly well.

    Glad to be back!

  9. Gabi says:

    hey mamav, i dont know if you’ll get chance to read this..i wrote in another post that i was going to try not b/p for two weeks, which saying that around my time of the month is dumb, cos its all i do then…well i mean i do it more than usual. so as that time has come and is passing, i am going to go for a whole a week without doing it…tomorrow will be so hard, but like they say…1 day at a time!!!

    xxxxxx

  10. Christy says:

    One more thing (sorry for posting twice) — I love the new header, and the glasses look great!

  11. Melissa says:

    Number six will be my hugest challenge. I can’t just stop. I check this site like 20+ times a day. But I start driving school tomorrow, so that will account for another two hours of my day. One post a day will be so hard. Too hard. I love these people now. ;-;

    Congrats Jane! I’m proud of you for coming closer to such more substantial things. I’ve got a 4-day religious event coming up. The Midsummer Festival. I need to work on my stuff that I’m selling there. But I’ve already got loads of time. x.x

    Nats- Four and a half hours is like time between meals for me. x.x We are opposites, you eat little and not often, I eat lots and very often. x.x I don’t think I’m disorder-ly though… Hope not! I’m glad that you are getting the help you need, hun. I’m SO proud of you!

    Laura- Keep up the good work! ♥ If the scale is the only thing “holding you back” then you are doing superbly!

    Joey- Good going for you too! =) You know I love ya. :3 Great job jumping right back on after the little slip ups. ^.^

    Christy- Wow, all weekend?! FANTASTIC job! ♥ Be sure to let us know how doctor’s goes, alright? ^.^

    Gabi- I know from talking to you that you can do this. You are a bright and wonderful girl. Stay strong! You know how to reach me! ♥

    Alrighty, I’ve responded to all but the header. I’m on so often I saw the one before this one where you had the pic with your earring showing. I liked that one a teensy bit more. I like how in this one you are looking kind of sly. x3 You’re a very pretty woman, MamaV!

    I won’t get on (or at least comment) until tomorrow night (at least). But expect the usual book from me! :3

    Brightest Blessings to All!
    -♥-Melissa

  12. Jane says:

    Thanks guys you are all so wonderful!

    Well done to you all, it seems as though the pro-ana challenge is teaching us all to be a little kinder to ourselves at least :o) I’m glad to see that so many of you are continuing to pick yourselves up when you fall down, it makes me smile to see you all doing so well.

    Things on my side are kinda usual, without my parents here its so much easier to go full out in terms of disordered eating! It’s lonely too… so I’m really bored a lot of the time. Am proud though, I finally learnt a new surra (a little bit of the qur’an that I’ve been trying to learn for a LONG time! And its in arabic so its really hard!!)

    Mellisa – I hope the Midsummer festival goes well, will be keeping you in my prayers as usual :o) Also, good luck with the driving… keep yourself focused hun! Love you!!

    Joey – Thank you so much, it really is great to be finally finding the time to do the things that really matter in this life. You are doing well too and should be proud.

    Thinking of you all always,

    Jane x x x

  13. Ale.ana.em says:

    im still here…not doing well because i ate too much yesterday, cant stop thinking about that,… but im trying really. Now im going to take my dogs to the beach…

  14. Laura says:

    I don’t know why I am writing…I guess that I am JUST that desperate at this point. I’m failing miserably. If I can’t do this simple challenge, I can’t do jack. Seriously, what the heck do you do when you know you are in a dangerous place, you’ve tried reaching out, you have no health insurance and you KNOW that this is going to eventually kill you? I feel like I’ve tried, but I can’t do it alone and no one is willing to help. Giving up seems like the only option left. I am so frustrated, but at the same time too tired to be frustrated.

  15. Melissa says:

    Thanks Jane! =)

    Ale.ana.em- I hope you have fun with your dogs. That sounds like a great time. I wish I had a dog. :3 Do you live near the beach or is it a long drive? ♥

    Laura- This challenge isn’t simple. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. Are you seeing a shrink? I am, and *because* we have no health insurance we get it for free. It’s done by the county if you can believe it! There is a way, I am sure. Do you mind me asking where you live?

  16. kay says:

    Bonjour Mama V,

    I have just returned home from vacation, where i actually went 30 days without any pro-ana material. I was at my aunts home, and i couldn’t check any of my “sites” while there. I am in the airport right now as i type on my lap top, and i am game for continuing the streak.

    To be honest all i could think about, was starting a new fast as soon as i got home to rid myself of my “vacation weight”. But i think i can do it!! (i am really going to try)

  17. Ale.ana.em says:

    Hi Melissa!

    The beach its like 30 minutes away from my home…i love to run and swim with my girls there, its so relaxing! but i keep thinking about my intake… and the little voice in my head sayin ” You are eating way too much”, and i haven’t eat nothing today….
    Im going to run with my ipod in my ears to see if the voice stops..

    Hugs*

  18. Emily says:

    Hi everyone,

    Guess what? im Finally getting some where in life, i have made some progress not much but enough to make me a bit happier. i am now going to a day centre 5 days a week to help me with my ED, because i wasent getting anywhere as an outpaitent, i collapsed at the weekend so they said that i can’t be a outpaitent anymore.

    How is every one getting on? would really like to hear from u guy,

    Write back,
    Love Emily XxX

  19. Jane says:

    Emily, it’s so good to see tht you are making some progress…. its a start. I swear this pro-ana challenge has been the best thing that has happened to me. I stopped my registration to all the pro-ana and pro-mia forums i used to go on, ive finally got started on an Islamic website (which Ive been planning with a friend for a long time!) and have started to enjoy life!! I havent weighed myself for like 4 days (huge achievement) and I’ve been eating… without feeling guilt.

    I honestly can say this has made me a whole new person… I am so thankful to MamaV fo this. I am sure that this is what it feels like to be “okay” . The feeling doesn’t last and sometimes I sit and cry about things that are killing me inside, but knowing that I was okay for a while makes me think, “okay, so right now things arent great, but they will get better.”

    Love you all so much,

    My prayers are with you all

    Jane x x x x

  20. Emily says:

    Jane- x

    Im glad u have been eating okish, and havent weighed ur self for 4 days that is great, i havent even been able to do that yet, u are great, glad u have started to enjoy ur life hun, thats what life is for.
    we are all proud of u.
    Love u guys so much,
    Emily XxX

  21. Laura says:

    Melissa, thanks for your response. :-) Means a lot that someone is listening. I see a therapist, randomly, mostly because I pay out of pocket and sometimes I can’t do it. I’ve worked with her for 5 years on ‘trauma’ issues and she is kinda stumbling with the ED stuff. At this point she knows I need to be hospitalized, but we can’t figure out how to make it work. It’s so frustrating and deflating because part of me wants to stop, and the other is fighting so hard not to. I am so ambivalent that it would seem tragic to let it get so bad and possibly die without having figured out if that’s what I want. That probably doesn’t make sense. I’ve just reached a new level of desperation. I never thought I’d isolate myself so badly that the only place left to talk would be on the net. What have I done?

    -Laura-
    P.S. I just moved to Atlanta

  22. Nats says:

    Hi guys, things not going great here. I just can’t seem to eat what they are giving me. It makes me feel ill and want to be sick. They keep telling me that the longer I don’t eat the longer ill have to stay here, that’s all well and good but what the hell are they expecting of me!! They know that its not easy to eat anything let alone a whole sodding meal but I’m trying, I can eat a bit of it then my stomach hurts and then I feel ill. I just want to give up and go home now. I’m sorry mamaV but this just isn’t working out. I will stay til end of week and if nothing changes I’m out of here. I’ve tried

  23. Jane says:

    Nats – Hunny, am sooo proud of you for getting yourself into a place where you are getting help with the ED. I think you have to really want to get better before you will get better. Plus, your stomache (sp) isn’t used to eating a “normal” amount of food, so it should be expected that it will be hard to start with, but keep trying, things can only get better, right? Love you always! x x x

    Emily – thank you :o) It isn’t as easy as it sounds in my posts (I’ve made it seem like da da… 5 years of ED solved overnight!!) It has been a nightmare, I am constantly trying to remember why I want to recover, why I want to live, why I have to make it through the day. One step at a time…

    Anyway, have to speak to my parents. They are half way round the world so I feel bad not speaking to them (had a fight yesterday so gunna try make it up with them.)

    Love, prayers and happy thoughts!

    Jane x x x

  24. Iron says:

    Well it’s quite suprising taht I’m still in
    Haven’t weighed me since last friday, and I’m feeling better in a healty way
    I’m very afraid to weigh myself again ’cause I know I’ve gained weight.
    Mentally, to be honest, it has never been this worse.
    But, We’re still in! and thanks to you, mamavision!

  25. Joey says:

    KerryElizabeth – could you try “jumping back on the bandwagon”??

    I’m struggling with it all. There’s too many situations where i rely on proanorexia – when i’m suicidal, when i’m desperately lonely, when i’m feeling wavery about eating or something and need encouragement, when i’m up late at night and can’t sleep…
    I hate that i’m so dependent on a single website – it’s incredibly sad really. I’m on there briefly most days for one of the above reasons, but always get “back on the bandwagon” afterwards, and the time i spend on there is cut down even more than before.
    In the last couple of days i’ve had some control over my binge-eating at last!! Today was 1800cals, way less than normal, and i was SO HUNGRY and weak which is bizarre, especially considering how little the average anorexic eats.

    Hope you’re all doing okay…

    xxx

  26. Ale.ana.em says:

    Hey…im out too, can’t do it.

    Bye

  27. Nats says:

    hey guys, things ok here not great but ok i guess. strange thing is i know i have put on weight but im not even trying to stop it. most people would say thats a good thing but i feel soooo horrible i want it gone again

  28. Emz says:

    Hey Guys!!!

    I’d love to join!!! I’ve had ed-nos for like… 2-3 years and I REALLY just want to be ana right now… got people asking me to model who think I’m skinny but I’m NOT and I don’t want to look fat on the camera, got to stop binging and purging and… urg!!! haha. So what are the rules to this challenge?

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