Calling all Ana's….30 Day Challenge!

Who is ready for a challenge? It is high time for a new approach.

Starting today, right at this moment, I want you to decide if you can, and will, take the 30 day NO PROANA challenge.

I am talking a total cold turkey, turn away from the computer, and see what life brings you kind of challenge.

Here are the rules:

1 No visiting, viewing, or posting to any Pro-Ana forum or community.

2 No viewing Thinspiration videos or Pr0-Ana messaging on YouTube or elsewhere.

3 Dump all fashion mags. All of them, including the damn tabloids.

4 No viewing of television shows that focus on beauty, fashion, gossip, hollywood, etc….if something comes on of this nature, you are to turn it off or leave the room.

5 Hide or chuck your scale. This may be  a hard one so I will leave it optional….but really consider this girls, your weight can be determined by whether or not your clothes fit.

6 Tell your ED friends that you need a break, tell them not to take it personal but you can’t and will not engage in conversations surrounding food, purging, fatness….you get the point.

Now that you have cleansed your life of all the detrimental, brainwashing crap that fills your day…you will have a lot of time on your hands.

Here are some suggestions on how to discover a new life:

1 Go to the library. I know the internet is like an online library, but I am am telling you there is nothing like the quiet, serenity of rows of books and silence. Here’s my faves:

East of Eden, John Steinbeck (big book, don’t be intimidated)

She’s Come Undone, Wally Lamb (you won’t believe a guy wrote this)

The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion (I am reading this now, can’t put it down)

I am Charlotte Simmons, Tom Wolfe (one of my favorite writers)

The Book of Ruth, Jane Hamilton (speaks for itself)

2 Do nothing.

Mindfullness Meditation, Series 1 CD, John Kabat Zinn

Whereever you go there you are, John Kabat Zinn

3  Do something for someone else.

Look for opportunities to go out of your way for others.

Send cards to people you care about, or that you miss.

Be really nice to that total knob at work or school…it will kill them!

Donate something to someone, give away your extra cash, coins, and time. There are so many cool and fun opportunities, just open your eyes:

Loans that save lives 

This site is amazing, you can donate $25 and help a person in poverty start their own business. Pictures of the people will inspire you to give.

Cellphones to third world countries

Got a phone collecting dust in your drawer? How about your friends? Round ’em up and donate them to someone who desparately needs them.

One Laptop Per Child

The mission? Give a laptop to every child in the world. Cost per laptop $100. Check out the design of the laptop, its so cool you will want one.

Eyeglass donations

The Lions Club has received eyeglass donations for decades, gather up your old shades and glasses and give the gift of sight…something we all take for granted.

4 Do something for YOU

Get a massage.

Start a journal.

Get your nails done with friends.

Go out for a few cocktails, and relax for a damn change!

If you are up for this challenge, post your comment below stating “I am in!”

C’mon this will be fun, trust me.


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109 Responses to Calling all Ana's….30 Day Challenge!

  1. Jessica says:

    I… in.. :S
    Just in case, sorry if I fail.

  2. Jane says:

    Well, here goes, I….. I also Am In.

    Good luck to anyone is trying this, its a great idea, a little terrifying though!

    Jane x x x

  3. Joey says:

    … … … i’m … in.
    but if something happens to one of my girls while i’m gone i’m right back there like a shot.

    Didn’t get this idea from talking to me did you by any chance?! Haha

  4. Nat says:

    Wish I could but sadly cannot. I think it is a wonderful idea however for me I am so isolated as is that this would cause me serious anxiety. (I live on a 100 acre farm, just me and my two dogs. My licence was recently revoked because the doctors think I have epilepsy and the closest town is 20km away.)

    I think for all your younger readers it is a great chance to try to enjoy life or at least give the mind a chance to rest and hopefully heal to a certain degree.

  5. Emily says:


    Im in…………………..

    But is going to be so so hard, dont no if i can do it but will start 2morow.

    Good luck to everyone


  6. Joey says:

    Nat: Hey I am in a similar position in that in my life i am very isolated and rely on the internet for communication. If you ever want someone to chat to about anything, whether ED-related or not, feel free to email me at
    The same goes for anyone else who is isolated in their lives too, and just wants people to talk to to break the loneliness.

  7. Emily says:

    Hi Mama,

    I have taken up the challenge, but does that mean we can’t go on this website??

    Beacause i really need your support in this.

    Write back

    Love Emily xx

  8. Lana says:

    The weirdest thing just happened.

    I went to blockbuster to see if they had any movies I wanted to watch. They were all out, of course. But I decided to watch a documentary called “Jesus Camp” about fanatical Christians, but that’s not he point

    While I was watching it, all the thoughts of my eating disorder just went out of my head, because I was so involved in what was going on. When I landed back into my real life, I realized how little my eating disorder really is.

    It was really weird. Just thought I’d share about my moment of sanity.

    I’m in, by the way. I’m going to try to get more of those moments. They’re really cool.

  9. mamavision says:

    Wow, this is great…I was not sure how this would go over. This is going to take disipline.

    For the next 30 days I will make every attempt not to post Thinspiration, ProAna related content. Here I am referring to he posts where I comment on the ProAna community, “steal” thinspiration images, etc. This way you can always come to this site for support….just don’t surf around :)

    Since the base of the blog is eating disorders, this topic can not go away but I will try to come up with what I see as POSITIVE, INSPIRING posts.

    So those of you who have started already…please keep coming back to post how you are progressing. Tell me what is hard, what is fun, what you are noticing about your mind state.

    I am a huge proponent of positive thinking….the thoughts you put in, are the thoughts that come out. Fill your mind with ED conversations….your head remains full of questions and thoughts about ED. Fill your mind with positive life experiences, happy thoughts, and kind thinking…,.and like magic…you start feeling more optimistic, motivated, and happy.

    I am so proud of all of you!


  10. Christy says:

    This is quite the challenge MamaV. But, it seems like a worthy one, so I’m in too.
    Thanks for offering summer reading suggestions. I am Charlotte Simmons sounds good. I think I’ll read it. Oh, and thanks for making the scale rule optional. That’s a tough one!

  11. Melissa says:

    Wow, great idea, Mama! I no longer have my eating disorder, but I’ll try to do that with cutting, okay?

    I recently joined a cutter’s support group online, but I’ll stop going there. They have this photo gallery… Really drives me to cut, you know?

    I didn’t think so many people would be in, it just goes to show that people really do want help. You are such a hero, Mama. I hope you stick around with this blog for many years to come. =)

    I’m in! (sorta =P)


  12. Christy says:

    Can’t sleep. I am very frustrated right now. It is now 5:10 am and for the last few hours my attempts have been futile. Normally, when I can’t sleep (which is often) i go to the proana forum where I can communicate with people who are awake. But, since I’m trying hard not to break the rules, and since it’s only been one day (sad, I know), I’m staying away. So instead of ranting my frustrations there I’m doing it here. Sorry about that. Okay, enough of that.
    I hope everyone is doing well with the challenge and in general. Good night.


  13. Nats says:

    Im in I guess

  14. Nats says:

    oh for future reference im not Nat, there is two of us, nat already posted so im nats, hi all. Good luck xxx

  15. Melissa says:

    Christy- I’m up at hellish hours of the night and am CONSTANTLY checking Mama’s blog. I am really hanging on her every word.

    So, if it’s alright with her, we can talk on here late at night. I’m also on all day at school.

    So, come be frustrated with me. xP

  16. Melissa says:

    Oh, and, hi Nats! =P


  17. Christy says:

    Thanks Melissa! It certainly helps to have someone to talk to during sleepless nights. Last night, after I posted here, I had to busy myself so I started puzzle number two and created a blog (very new to me). It turned out to be quite the productive late night/early morning. My energy is waning though. But, yes, I would very much like a late night buddy, so hopefully we can talk more. Have a great day!


  18. Melissa says:

    Awesome! I love blogging. It helps to just get everything out of my head, you know? Journaling doesn’t help me much, I think I need the feeling of knowing that someone else might read it, lol.

    I’ll probably see you tonight. =P

    You have a great day too, and I mean that! ♥

    -&hearts- Melissa

  19. Lana says:

    I’m out, sadly, because I’m working on sabotaging a certain magazine which I love to hate… I’m bored and trying to make a difference somehow.

  20. Melissa says:

    Aww, Lana. ;-;

    What do you mean by sabotaging? *confused*


  21. Lana says:

    It’s a long story which includes multiple identities, multiple e-mail accounts, and lots and lots of angry mothers, classmates, and manipulative brats. I really hope it’s legal.

  22. Melissa says:

    Wow, that sounds interesting. o.O

    Well, if you’d ever like to share I’ve got nothing but time. =)


  23. Joey says:

    I’ve just been talking to Nat in email, and it stirred some thoughts in the back of my mind…

    How much do anorexics actually benefit from this challenge? Since anorexics are not any more affected by media images than anyone else … it’s the media who tells us that. Anorexia isn’t all about trying to look pretty like a fashion model. It’s a lot deeper.
    My day was almost the exact same as any other.
    Not going on proanorexic sites isn’t going to stop me bingeing, starving, thinking i’m fat, thinking about suicide, sleeping all day, trying and failing to read books because i can’t concentrate, failing to do my painting because my hands are too shaky, sticking my head out the window for fresh air cos i’m too scared to go out.
    The problem was there years before i knew proanorexic sites even existed. I’m not saying that proanorexic sites aren’t harmful in some ways, but they’re not as harmful as one might think. Haha – the same thing i’ve been arguing with you MamaV for so long!

    I wish i could find something new to try too. Like the suggestions didn’t work out too well.. 1. can’t concentrate, 2. leaves me vulnerable to depressive thoughts, 3. Some i could do i guess, but not many 4. i don’t enjoy anything anymore..
    It’s like, these would work if i were a healthy functional person who had friends, had a job, went to school, could go out, was able to drink alcohol without possibly dying, etc. It’s hard to fill time when you’re sick.

  24. Christy says:

    Hi Joey,

    I agree with you that anorexia and other ED’s go much deeper than “trying to look pretty.” But, for people who are trying to recover, I do think that media images, amongst other factors, can serve as triggers that can impede success. This is not to say that such factors cause the disorder, but I believe that they make the problem worse (for some anyway). A picture of an emaciated model could represent a goal to aspire to for people struggling, a constant reminder that it is possible to look like that if you work hard enough, if you skip another meal, if you jog that extra mile etc…, Of course, I cannot speak for everyone who suffer from an ED as everyone’s situation is different.

    What I like about this challenge is that it is a positive one. No, I do not think that after completing the 30 days everything will be fine. If only it were that easy. I, like you, am still dealing with the feelings and behaviors that result directly from my ED. I almost always feel dizzy and weak and I suffer from exruciating headaches most days, including today. But, I’ve been forcing myself to follow the rules MamaV laid out (I haven’t even stepped on the scale and that’s a big one for me), and I have found other things to do. I created my first blog, which I might never have done, or at least not now. At first I was afraid to write anything because I usually try not to let myself think about things that bother me. When I finally got around to it, it was a bit of relief to let my thoughts out, and I ended up posting two blogs. I know thid doesn’t seem like a big deal, but for me it is a step. I actually allowed my self, at least for a little while, to be honest with myself, to put into words the feelings that I so often express through self destruction.

    I guess all I am saying is that I do agree with you that ED’s run much deeper than media images, proanorexia sites, and whatever else. But, I don’t think they help the problem either, and can, in my opinion, make it worse for some. I also agree that this challenge isn’t going to solve the problem, but, for me anyway, it has gotten me to do something I normally wouldn’t have and I liked it.

    Are you stil going through with it?

    Well, I hope you’re feeling okay, and please don’t think that I’m arguing with you in any way. I just felt like sharing my take. :)


  25. mamavision says:

    Hi Christy: I just read you post out loud to my husband, I am so PROUD of YOU!!! You started a blog? Wow.

    This is really exciting, and I think you have hit the nail on the head with your post above. This “time out” kind of makes you tense, you don’t know what to do with yourself, so you step outside your box and discover what else awaits you in life.

    We are all realistic, this 30 day time out is not going to get rid of your ED… all the struggles and feelings are going to still be there. I guess when we really get down to it, I posed this because I believe ProAna sites are detrimental anyway you cut it.

    I just am not convinced that any positive can truly come from reading and posting on a proana forum. Its like slowly, stepping into quick sand, once you are in, you can’t get out, you just get sucked deeper and deeper because you are intentionally surrounding yourself with others exactly like you. They are too weak to help you.

    Anyway Christy, back to you. Now we have a long weekend ahead. I don’t know what weather is like where you live, but hopefully it is sunny and you can take walks, think, and do some of the positive things on the list.

    Trust me you are going to start thinking differently and trying new things (like your blog)….you are discovering yourself.


  26. mamavision says:

    Hi Joey: I hear you. I am thinking about what you said and visualizing myself in your position. When you are so low, you have no enthusiasm or energy to do anything. I have been there.

    So, yesterday you felt the same way, but you had proana sites to fill your time with. Now that you can’t escape there, you have to find something to do- anything. I don’t know if you believe in god, I am no holy roller, but I believe in a higher power that has a path for my life. What if you asked for god to show you the way?

    Every night I pray, I thank god for everything I have, and ask him to help me be the best person I can be. I end by saying “show me the way in all aspects of my life.”

    I have prayed this for years and I believe I am guided in the right path. Even when everything seems like it is blowing up and I can’t handle the stress, I don’t break because I know everything is happening for the reason….its all part of the plan. I also always remember that tomorrow it could always be over. I have a very real sense of death on a daily basis. I think this stems from losing my neice and nephew when they were babies…..something changed in me and the realization that life will be over when you least expect it just stuck with me. Having this believe each day when you step out the door makes you behave differently, it brings about different thinking, positive, grateful thinking.

    Back to you. There is no doubt in my mind that the worst possible thing for you to be doing right now is helping other ED sufferers. Really think about this!? Why are you not putting yourself first? Its tiime you do so, you must. Give yourself permission to step back and make yourself the priority for a change.

    If I told you I am an alcoholic and I am going to the bar to hang out with my drinking buddies to get some advice, what would you think? You being so involved with the forum is only sinking you deeper. I believe that is why you are at the point you are at.

    Give this a chance, a real chance. At least try until Monday….lets see what happens over the next few days. Will new and different thoughts come into your head? Will your frustrations lead you somewhere? Sometimes only time will tell and I hope you feel like this is worth a shot.

    But remember, if you say “screw this!” over the weekend, no worries, no judgements, and no negative responses will come from me… I support you totally in whatever you choose. I have to tell you I was really, very surprised to hear from you of all people, honestly, I was like wow! I can’t believe she is willing to take this on!

    OK now one step at a time girl, I am behind you all the way. Be yourself, and take care of yourself. Let yourself be the priority right now, and drop all responsibilities to other people.


  27. mamavision says:

    To Jessica, Jane, Emily. Melissa, Nats:

    I need to put the kids to bed, otherwise I would write to each of you individually. Keep on this positive track, and please post what you are up to, good and bad.

    I am going away for the weekend, and will be back on Monday, I look forward to hearing how everyone is doing.

    Do you all know how much you are on my mind? I care a great deal about all of you, and I just want to see you all start living life. If you can just get on a different path, and make a start, you could be headed in the right direction and then life starts to make sense again.

    Here’s something that comes to mind- what really gets you? For me it was these ED issues and proana, and along came this blog. What topic makes you really passionate? Perhaps focus on that and surf around to educate yourself on that topic, start lending your perspective to the discussions…..or like Christy start your own blog. It can be totally anonomous and you will learn alot about your self by just putting it out there.

    Ok, need to run, have a great weekend girls!!
    Love always,

  28. Christy says:

    Dear MamaV,

    Thank you for your encouragement. Like I said in my post, I am struggling very much right now because a part of me really doesn’t want to let this go, or, is too afraid to. I’ve lived my life this way for ten years and it’s hard to imagine life without it. Also, I am terrified of gaining weight and it’s really hard not to think about that. But, what’s more important is what I want long term and it is certainly not the life i’m leading now. I am 24 years old and am scared of so many things. I see people around me who are happy, healthy, energetic, and hopeful, and I want that for myself. I am tired–physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. I want to have healthy relationships instead of running away or keeping people at a distance. I don’t know how it’s all going to pan out, but for now I am willing to try because I want so much to love myself and accept myself and be confident with my Self. That seems to be a long way away. For now, one step at a time.

    I hope you have a wonderful weekend!


  29. Jessica says:

    i won’t be on very often, tomorrow i am moving to colorado and i won’t have the internet. i threw away all of my magazines today, and i’ve chosen to “forget” my scale here at my moms. But, lately when I’ve felt triggered I’ve come here and I’ve read what you’ve written as well as what everyone else has written. i read one, and only one entry…this one. I’m glad you’re doing this. and it’s going to be hard for me. but i’m stsill going to try even if i can’t get online.

    *HUGS* take care everyone.


  30. Jaime says:

    Hello there,
    I am a Homeschool Mom, with one child, MY 5yo LillyAnna
    I guess you weren’t exspecting me to find you …I
    I found your blog by going to a site called junkfoodscience
    I haven’t been though your enitire blog,
    But i can see we both agree on alot of things.
    Especaily the REMOVE the media influince in ones life.
    We actualy went a step ferther than “No cable.”
    Three years ago we got rid of the tv period.
    we utilize the net for news and weather.

  31. Jaime says:

    oh, I forgot to mention, I found a kindred spirit named June Hunt.
    She is a loooong time councilor and has all sorts of wonderful resources to help
    those who seek to find true Love Signifigance and Security.
    She also trains others to be councilors as well.
    I just started listening to her on the radio a few months ago.
    and other great ministries at

    As for Me-

    I have been struggling with emotional eating.
    I am very overweight and i have a Huge hernia at the site of an unplanned c section i had 5 years ago…and a severly low thyroid condition.

    The Dr’s say Lose pounds then we will operate.
    So I quit smoking first as directed by the National cancer peeps
    They say-you have to wait 6 months to start a diet after quitting “they say”
    so i figured smoking was the worst and had to be delt with first.
    Ever since I quit over a year ago, I have been suffering with stomach pain, acid reflux, athsma, and ecessive weight gain.
    I eat to deal with the pain in my stomach alot.
    But the good news is recently i got some enulose syrup in hopes it’s just impacted stool that needs to be flushed out…I am feeling better and FULL, not starving all the time. I am seeking advice and tests from a Gastro specialist to figure out WHY i have acid reflux soon as well.

    I really see you and your blog friends benifiing from June on
    eating disorders and other issues realted to them.
    It’s free to listen online, when ever you come back from your 30 day fast on media.

    May the Lord Bless and Keep you always
    Mother Rose
    err, please excuse spelling errors,
    I “once a week “use the computer myself,
    and i am on my husbands funky laptop with limited time. hehe.
    Feel free to email me anytime though.
    I check emails bi weekly.
    I got tierd of being a slave to the computer too.
    But i made an acception to your blog.
    I felt the spirit move tonite.

  32. Iron says:

    I’m sorry but I can’t do this
    can’t even do this for 3 goddamned houres!
    I weigh myself 3 time a day, one day without knowing what or when, I go mental :(
    Well, I’m willing to try it, but I’m so sure I’ll faile before Monday, and I’m sorry.
    ButI just wanted to say thanks, for everything you’re trying to do for our community

    greetings, Iron from Europe

  33. Una says:

    Hi Iron,
    don’t say you are going to fail before you have even started. Believe in yourself. All that energy you are using, which is enormous, to stay desperatly thin, you can use it for you to get better. You have to sart loving yourself and be kind to yourself. Your body isn’t your enemy, it is your best friend.
    The idea of mamaVision to find a new aim, a new center of interest is brilliant. There are so many thing out there to do, to discover. So many interesting people to get to know. There are things you can do now and other things you will have to have more energy, more strength to do. You can only get there step by step. The is no magic wond, no mirical potion. It won’t be easy, but it only gets better.

    Luv from France

  34. Joey says:

    Hey…me again!

    I’ll make it clear first off – i have NO intention of giving up on the challenge! Several times in the past i’ve taken “holidays” from my online-ED-life, and i did notice an improvement to my depression because i was so stressed trying to help so many people at once. Since learning how stressed it made me i cut down my time on proanorexic sites by quite a lot, and a lot of things improved.
    I think proanorexic sites are good for support… but only in moderation!

    I also want to make it clear that i think the challenge is brilliant still, for the reasons above, and don’t mean to bash it completely!

    Christy – having a blog is an awesome idea. I have one on livejournal – Good luck!

    To anyone who has a livejournal account (i know a lot do because you’re from livejournals Proanorexia) – try searching for other communities about things that interest you. Some of my favourites: – write down 5 things you’re thankful for each day, it makes you feel much more positive. – best art community i’ve found! I’ve been putting some of my painting up there. – eating disorder inspired art. Painting or drawing in response to your Ed can be very therapeutic, and it lets you learn a lot about yourself too. – for those interested in fashion, people here post photos of what they wear each day. It works as quite a good replacement for looking at thinspiration because it’s so similar, except these are healthy-weight normal people, and the concentration is on the clothes. – if you’re like me and obsessive about eating disorders, come here and discuss the causes, treatments, etc of EDs. They’re quite careful to avoid triggering content too.

    MamaV – thanks for the support, and sorry that i’m so argumentative and stuff!!
    I don’t believe in God, though i’d like to because religion might give me meaning and direction. I just find it so hard when i see so many wonderful people struggling so much, when awful people live such happy lives.
    As for the alcoholic comment – what about alcoholics anonymous meetings? Alcoholics get together and discuss how to cope. It depends what the proanorexic sites are used for – for me they’re helping me cope and recover, not get iller.

    I’ll carry on this comment later…cos my friend just arrived.

    GOOD LUCK everyone..


  35. Jane says:

    Other than weighing myself I’m doing okay…

    Had a rough weekend (Friday n Saturday is my weekend here), had my first A-Level exam, which I think went alright, landed myself in hospital, got new meds (they are sooo huge!)… the usual really.

    Iron – listen to Una, she has some good advice there! You are always stronger than your ED, you ust need to find that strength. We are all here for you :o)

    Hugs to everyone, hope you are all having an ok time with this and with everything else in your lives!

    MamaV – hoping you are having a good time!

    xxx Jane xxx

  36. Joey says:

    … Carrying on the long comment i started…:

    MamaV – i struggle to drop all the looking after others and look after myself, because i kindof feel like i deserve to suffer with all this, because i feel i’ve been a bad person. And i’m not sure i deserve recovery or a better life. But then, i guess i need to recover so that i can carry on making a difference for others.

    Jessica – good luck and i hope your move to Colorado isn’t too stressful!

    Jaime – good luck with getting better, and good luck dealing with your emotional eating – i identify with you because i am a bulimic, and binge for emotional reasons everyday. Psychiatrists are coming to believe that severe emotional eating is an actual eating disorder, so hopefully people struggling with emotional eating will get more help available sometime.

    Iron – try your best, and if you can’t cut down on weighing, try cut down on everything else at least! Good luck.

    Good luck everyone who is on this challenge…


  37. Emily says:

    Heyy, Everyone,

    Hows the challenge going?

    Its Not Going So Good For Me At The Moment, Am Finding It Really Hard Not To Think About My ED. But The Good Thing Is I Havent Been On Any Pro Ana Websities Yet, But It Has Only Been 1 Day So Far.

    Anyway Would Love To Hear From Everyone,

    Good Luck
    Lots Of Love
    Emily XxX

  38. Christy says:

    Hi everyone,

    Well, at this point, things are fair. Today I did weigh myself. The anxiety I was experiencing from not knowing overwhelmed my determination to avoid it. On the upside, I only used the scale once as opposed to several times a day.

    Jane, I am sorry to hear you had a rought weekend. Hospitals are never a fun way to pass the weekend. I hope you’re feeling better now.

    Emily, this challenge is hard. I am right there with you on that. I think it’s practically impossible not to think thoughts brought on by your ED, at least for me it is. The way I see it is that as long as you resist acting upon those thoughts you’re doing great! And it seems like you’ve done so by not going on proanorexia sites. In my mind, that’s a great start.

    I hope everyone is doing well.


  39. Iron says:

    thx everyone, I’ll do my best!

  40. Jane says:

    I’m out… big time out. I found out my parents are going away for a whole month, so I got excited and posted on every proana site i could find, entered every “diet” i could find…. everything that we aren’t meant to do, I did.

    Thanks Christy, yeah am doing better now, recovering anyway. I can honestly say it wasn’t the best weekend of my life!

    Congratulations to everyone else, you are all doing amazingly :o)

    It is so hard not to think of the ED, especially since usually it is our lives… you are learning to live, as if you were a child again and it is hard, but on the positive side, it is possible (look at MamaV). Keep it up guys n girls.

    Safe hugs x Jane x

  41. Laura says:

    I want to. God knows I do. But I can’t…I am in too deep and I can’t seem to find any help. It’s all I have left in my life that makes me feel better.

  42. Joey says:

    I’ve just realised that a big post i left says “Your comment is awaiting moderation”, so i hope everyone can see it soon. I’ve got some good suggestions.

    Some of you seem to be making this into a much bigger deal than it is – it isn’t leaving your ED for 30 days, it’s leaving some triggers for 30 days. Don’t give up on yourself before you’ve even thought about it!

    Day 2 and i’ve already broken it and had to go to proanorexia a bit. At least 2 suicide attempts in the last 2 days.
    One that really got me was a guy who was a member of one of my livejournal communities which supports people with all psychiatric illnesses, especially depression. I’d gained his trust and he was talking to me every day. I didn’t think to check up on him for the last week or so because i was away looking after myself. He had a major breakdown and clearly took something i did or said as hurtful because he said “i wish i’d never met Joey” in his goodbyes.
    I feel so guilty for leaving people so vulnerable and looking after myself. I don’t feel i deserve it.

  43. Gabi says:

    hey mamaV, i have decided to set myself another challange. quite literally will be the hardest thing ever. I have challanged myself 2 weeks of no purging and no binging. Doing your no ana websites etc i just know saying i wont go o it will make me go on them as i have interenet access at home and work. however…at work i cannot so easily binge and purge. so after four years of this, i challlange myself to two weeks of not doing it,… you think two weeks is to long to start with?!


  44. Marie Smith says:

    Hey Mama,

    Our staff really loves your site, great job… you made our Hot & Skinny List at the Number 2 position. Great work, please keep it up!!


  45. Marie Smith says:

    Oh, the URL is, http://www.WESTFROM.COM … and there is NO triggering content on there, just links to some of the best resources on the web.


  46. kerryelizabeth says:

    i just saw some of your videos on youtube.
    you’re making a difference, ty.
    and i’ll try my hardest to join in with your proana challenge.

  47. Natalie says:

    MamaV thank you SO MUCH for being there. I will keep visiting your site. I am a 23 y/o “recovered” anorexic for several years now but have been feeling horrible about myself lately.
    I love you take care!

  48. Melissa says:

    Mama- I’m glad that I’m in your mind, you are in mine a lot too.

    Unfortuneately, and quite literally, as soon as I said I would leave the self-injury website, I went on there for like an hour and a half and snuggled right in. I hate feeling this way, so defiant against myself. My issues are issues that you don’t deal with, so I’m not going to bother you with my own conflicting interests.

    I had a great night last night, only to wake up this morning to find out it was terrible. Don’t you hate how things work out that way? You work on making yourself happy, and it ruins another person for a day or two.

    I have been crying a lot lately. I cried today and wanted to cut, SO bad. Still do. I don’t know though. I promise my fiancee that I wouldn’t without talking to her first. But she’s at a party right now.

    I wish I had friends, you know? Somewhere to go, to get my mind off of this fiery desire to self-injure.

    I’m trying. I haven’t cut since then, but I’ve been on the site quite a bit. People there are so accepting and helpful. Not sure how it compares to the ProAna sites. I think the only “encouraging” thing on there is how to appropriately clean your wounds.

    Oh well. ;-;

    Jane- Please don’t say you are out! This is just a slip-up. You are addicted, even if it isn’t diagnoseable (is that even a word?). Forgive yourself and move on. Maybe extend it a day further, as your goal to not give in. You’re such an incredible person, I feel very lucky to know you! I know that you can do it. ♥

    Joey- You damn sure deserve to take care of yourself. That should be number one! (Even though I know it is hard). You should post on there that you are doing this challenge, link to here, and try to get other people involved and/or supporting you. If they are truly your supporters, wouldn’t they encourage you to get better?

  49. Christy says:

    Melissa–glad to see you posted, although sorry to hear things have been rough. I think it is always difficult to completely forego the one thing that gets you through the day, so don’t be so hard on your self.

    I think we all struggle with letting go of coping mechanisms, but as long as we try, and we’re here for each other, at least we have a shot. I used to cut too and I stopped (i still get the urge), b/c after intense psychological treatment and seeing the scars (that i will always have), i decided it just wasn’t it. I know my personal experience won’t help you much b/c we all have to find our own way out, but I just want you to know that you can leave it behind and that there are poeple(like me) who you can talk to and turn to.

    I hope you’re doing well!


  50. Jane says:

    I don’t have anything to add really, just a few responses :o)

    Joey – your post made me want to cry, just to see how much you care for other people, and not for yourself. You most certainly do deserve it. I agree with what Melissa wrote and I hope so much that you will listen to it, and consider it. You are amazing and don’t forget it!

    Laura – I understand what you are saying and I felt the same way, but it is always worth trying, isn’t it? You can never know your own strength unless you test it a little! Go for it hun, it can’t hurt to give it a go.

    Melissa – I am out, I tried and even knowing that makes me proud of myself to a certain extent, I’ve never had a harder 3 days in my life! Little, slow steps are okay with me :o)
    As for the SI thing, I agree that the sites aren’t pro in the same way as Ana sites are, and they tend to be more about taking care of any harm you do to yourself. So, I don’t think of them in the same way – they certainly dont tend to encourage you to keep cutting anyway. There are some really cool suggestions on that i found really useful, not to stop SI, but they helped me learn a few other ways to cope with my feelings.

    Jane x

  51. Melissa says:

    Thanks Christi, that’s really sweet of you. I can’t believe I got through last night without cutting. I smoked a ciggarette though, first time in a long time. I feel very mixed up, and if I say one thing tonight, I’ll probably mean something else an hour from now. So if I confuse you, don’t worry- I’m confused, lol.

    Jane- I’m proud of you too for trying. Three days is a big number for someone dealing with this for so long, yanno? ♥.!

    Thanks for the link, I will be sure to check it out! You’re awesome. :3

  52. Emily says:

    Hi everyone,

    How you all doing?

    Im not doing so good myself, I have weighed myself 4 times in 2 hours, i hate myself for it tho.

    Joey- You are truly great you have helped loads of people. you care about everyone, you are in my mind lots.

    Mama- thank you so much for your comment, it ment alot to me, your a inserpation, you are the one that keeps me going. What inspired you to make this great blog??

    Write back,
    much love,
    Emily XxX

  53. Joey says:

    Thanks for girls for your support!! You’re all awesome.

    Yesterday i had to break the challenge a few times because another girl became suicidal (i managed to talk her out of it though *big smiles*), but i’m back on track now.
    I heard from the guy – he’s fine and he’s apologised for what he said, and i’m really relieved. Haven’t heard from the others though.

    I wish it would stop being so cold and rainy here so that i could get out the house and do more interesting stuff. Rainy days make it very tempting to read magazines and go online too much!!


  54. Melissa says:

    Emily- Don’t hate yourself for it! This exercise isn’t designed to make you hate yourself. In fact, it’s supposed to do quite the opposite. It’s okay that you weighed yourself. I don’t really consider her rules as “rules” but more as goals. It’s okay. Like I told Jane- it’s just a slip-up. Don’t be too hard on yourself. ♥

    Joey- Rainy days are fun to dance around outside and be an idiot. xP But I understand how that wouldn’t help for long, lol.

    I need to clean my room, I’m going to repaint the walls. Maybe that could be your “rainy day project”? Repainting is fun. x3

    -♥- Melissa

    P.S.- I haven’t been able to each much lately. Maybe a few bites here are there for a whole day’s worth of food. I just ate a Shorti Meatball Hoagie from Wawa. The last bite made me want to puke, but I’m proud of myself. Maybe things are getting better? I hope so! ♥

  55. Emily says:


    Thanks so much for your comment,
    We are all so proud of you, keep it all up, maybe one day i can be like you.

    Much love

    Emily XxXxX

  56. Melissa says:

    Aww, Emily, why would you want to be like me? ♥

    It’s flattering, and sad at the same time.


  57. Christy says:

    hi everyone. not doing so well. feeling kind of bad actually. dizzy, a bit nauseous, and weak. i don’t mean to project negativity here, but i can’t get beyond how i feel right now. still working on my puzzle and just got a book i’ll eventually begin reading. spent most of today lying on the couch half sleeping, half entranced by tv. tomorrow i have two appts.–one with dr. and one for job. maybe it’s the nerves of both that’s getting to me.

    i hope you all are well.


  58. Melissa says:

    Christy- I hope you feel better! I kinda laughed when you said “I hope you are all well.” I’m feeling great right now! Ask me in five minutes and I might have changed my mind. =P

    I’m doing better than 24 hours ago, to say the least. ♥

  59. Nats says:

    I give up cant do this, i am in hospital now and im getting the internet on blackberry. im sorry but cant fight it anymore, I wanted to get better and I cant im not strong enough. I hope you all find a way to get better your all great people and desserve the best in life. dont turn out like me! Push yourself every single day and enjoy being you!!!

  60. Melissa says:

    You are strong enough, Nats. Please don’t say that, that breaks my heart! ;-;

    I am glad that you are under the supervision of doctors. I really hope you find the way to get better because you are a great person too!

    Stay Strong!

  61. Nats says:

    I cant im sorry, i have given up.

  62. Melissa says:

    I’ll let MamaV respond to you instead of me, because I’ll say all the wrong things.

    Just please know that we care about you! ♥

  63. Nats says:

    She doesnt nee to respond to me, I have already ready given up hun and I just wanted people to know that they shouldnt end up like me, with all these drips and rubbish!
    Tell mamaV that I said thanks for everything, melissa your a great person and you will do just great with everything you choose to do, I hope you have a long and very hapy life xxx

  64. Melissa says:

    Nats, you are talking like you are giving up on living anymore. That scares me. I hope that isn’t what you are trying to communicate. ;-;

  65. Emily says:


    because you are great and a strong person, way stronger than i am, at this preent moment i feel like giving uo completely its just too hard.

    How can i keep up this challenge, i weigh myself too much and am always exersising and other stuff. i no its stupid but i cant help it.

    What do i do, do i give up or keep on going??

    Emily XxX

  66. Melissa says:

    Guys, you make me feel like a false idol or something. What is so strong about me?

    You should never give up! The moment that you give up is the moment that the rest of the world stops trying.

    Can I ask you something? How old are you?

    I am seventeen. I’m engaged and planning on having a family one day. I want to have kids. I can’t let my emotions get the best of me now. I want, no, I need to feel that baby kicking in my belly, and see his or her first steps. I need to make it to that point. No matter what it takes I will get through whatever hell I may be experiencing just so I can live those moments of heaven.

    What do you have to look forward to?

    MamaV said that the scale was optional, and she never said that you couldn’t exercise. It isn’t stupid at all! Have people told you that your eating disorder is stupid? That this disease that is controlling and ruining your life is just some insignificant fling? If so, don’t listen to them. I know you are smart and I know you want to be healthy.

    You are such a beautiful person on the inside, Emily. I know that from talking to you on here. I worry about everyone of Mama’s “followers”. I always am hoping that we can make it. I have faith in every one of us, even those of us who have already given up, or already broken a rule. We’ve got to forgive ourselves. How will we ever get better if we don’t?

    Sorry to hop up on my soapbox. x.x This is just something that I really am passionate about. Please, if you need to, check yourself into a clinic. Call the help line numbers that Mama has posted all over the site. Don’t let yourself fall behind. You deserve so much better! ♥


  67. Emily says:

    I am 16, have had my ED since i was 15 and am tired of it, i feel so trapped.

    yes i will take your advice and check my self into a clinic, its probs the best thing to do, then i may get better.

    Thanks for your support melissa, i will talk to you soon, and tell you how im getting on, email me and tell me how you are getting on, i care a great dealk bout u.

    Lots of love
    Emily x x

  68. Melissa says:

    I understand feeling trapped. I feel like this blade follows me around wherever I go.

    I hope you do get better. Make sure that you tell us about your stay, alright? I feel sad that it’s come this far but I understand how easy it is to let it, you know? I hope they can help you there.

    I don’t know your email, but you can feel free to email me!

    Anytime, okay? I’ll respond as soon as possible.

    I care about you too, I want you to get better. ♥

    Stay strong.


  69. Una says:

    Hi all of you,
    I discovered this blogg some weeks ago, doing some resurch on the model who dropped dead after she left the catwalk and her sister who passed a way a few months after. I wanted to know if the fashion industry had reacted to these horrible events. I guess you can say that some countries have taken decicions, but they are by far not as activ as mamaV is. And I really do think that she is a very generous and warmhearted person and that her project is brilliant.

    I was anorexic about 15 years ago ( that was ante internet era). It has been up until now the worst period of my life. I was deeply depressed and sick. I wanted to vanish. I think I do understand how you all feel, even though each of you have got another story to tell. It all sums up to selfdestruction.

    The eating disorder is a consequence of an “unwellbeing” deep inside of you. You’ll have to heal that inorder to get well. But before, you’ll have to get strength back. You really havn’t got an option. You are all unique and special people. You have to get better. You have to experience joy and happiness again, because that’s what you deserve.

    At my lowest, I hardy slept at night, I peed in my bed, my hair was falling out and I fainted once in a while. And then I realized one morning that I wasn’t in control of the situation. That I wasn’t free. I went to the doctor with my familly, who were close to a nervous break down. I was affraid of my mother wanting to stuff me up like a christmas chicken, so my doctor gave us a menu, i had to follow (not less, not more). I had been living on rules for such a long time, that the idea of following another one wasn’t to bad. Adding to the food I was supposed to drink a highly protein drink. The idea was that I was slowly learning to eat normal portions and the drink would help me gain weight. I didn’t want to get into the habit of overeating. We called the drink “fat fast”. In the beginning that drink knocked me out for a few hours, but then I did get used to it.

    It was summer holidays at the time. I was going to change school. I didn’t want to walk aroud with this body, which was communicating all my misery, which was inside of me. I wanted a new start. Only my maths teacher asked me after my first lesson, if I was ok. I told him, that I was getting better, and that made me so happy.

    Well since then thing have been so much better. I finished my A levels in Switzerland. Went off to Paris to study industrial design. Lived in Stockholm and in Munich for six months for a trainee ship. I am now in a most beautiful place called Annecy, a little town in France, close to the Swiss boarders. (At first I didn’t want to leave Paris, because lots of my friends live there and there are the most amazing cultural possibilities just waiting to be discovered. ) but then…I started climbing and got to know people. I love going up the mountains and swimming in the lake. And I happen to work in a brilliant design studio with three amazing people. ( Looking for a job was a tough one. It took me quite a while to get used to take up the phone, talk to people. But you get used to it and start loving it. It is so important to feel good about yourself. That makes people open up to you.)

    I started dancing tango and lindy hop six years ago. After my 13 years of classical ballet, i really wanted to start dancing again, but not on my own infront of a mirror.
    Dancing is great, because you share so much and you communicate in a different way. You are because you move. The rythm of music makes you feel happy (appart from tango music, which can be bloody depressing at times ).
    When I am in a foreign city, I’ll check up, if I can’t dance. Istabul for exemple was amazing. I wasn’t a normal tourist, because I got to know insider places and the real people.

    You can all get better and you that is your aim today. You can help people as soon as you are well again(really well again), but now is the time to invest all your time and energy in your lives. You are the number one priority. This is all about you. You are wonderful and gorgeous and you have to learn to feel that again. Use all the help you can get from people who aren’t in the ED circle. You need normality. Talk, open up, screem if you want to. Stop trying to be perfect, because perfection is boring. Be yourself and that is the most wonderful thing to be.
    Lots of luv Una

    PS : Nats, don’t say you can’t do it, because you can. Don’t stop believing. Give it another go. If it isn’t for yourself, do it for the people here, who care most dearly for you.

  70. Christy says:


    I just saw the long blog you were referring to. Thanks! And thanks for posting the link to yours. I’m definitely going to check it out.


  71. Una says:

    And there is something I forgot to say : Melissa, I really like your soapbox. You’ve got a brilliant energy going on there.
    Luv Una

  72. Melissa says:

    Thanks, Una! Sounds like you’ve come really far. I’m proud of you! =)

  73. Laura. says:

    I just wanted to let you know that I think you are an amazing woman. And that you do so much for one special person in my life. She posts your videos and things like that on myspace, and I re-post, and then others re-post. It’s an amazing thing. You are a hero to all, me included. ♥.!

    Peace. Hope. Love.,

  74. Nats says:

    You are all great people and you sound like you should be standing outside a council with big boards shouting about what you believe in, and that is magical on its own. Im sorry i have let you all down. Dont be like me, never give up!
    Una thanks for your comments and you too melissa but I just cant see anyway out at the moment, I haven’t been ill for ages but this seems to have just taken over me and made me feel like rubbish, how do I get out of that?? Take care all xx

  75. Nats says:

    I need help, i cant deal with this

  76. Melissa says:

    MamaV- Laura was talkin about me. x3

    Nats: Please don’t say that you’ve let us down, because I’m not let down at all. I still have faith in you.

    You say you need help, I thought you were at a hospital?

  77. Nats says:

    I am in hospital but im in a regular one they dont understand anything

  78. Nats says:

    its ok i know what i have to do! I have to get out of this place, its not helping and noone is listening to me! They think they know what they are talking about when they have no idea. Im out of here and im gonna find somewhere to go where they know what they are on about. Ill let you all know how I get on, this is the start of my new path!!

  79. Jane says:

    Nats – so unbelievabley proud of you! There are some great hospitals specially for things like this, so I hope so much that you find one that is able to help you :o) Be careful okay, and try to let us know how things get on. You have been amazingly brave this far, and I am sure that you will break free from all of the hurt and pain caused by all this. Love you so much, take care hunny!
    x x x x Jane x x x x

  80. Christy says:

    Nats-It is so good to hear the determination in your last statement! You deserve it, and I have faith that you will find a place that can help you soon. Looking forward to an update.

    I’m a bit anxious right now because I head home today and will be there til’ Sunday. That’s a long time! Going home is always hard for me. It never fails that someone makes a comment about my appearance. My mother will tell me to gain weight, and my grandmother will try to feed me every time I turn around. I feel really guilty for making them worry, but I just wish they’d leave me alone. Meals will be awkward and the whole thing is unpleasant. I really want to stay where I am and avoid the next few days altogether. But, I can’t, so I’m off.


  81. Nats says:

    Im back again!!

    Ok latest update, I have checked out that pig hole they call a hospital. I have found a clinic about 3 hours away from me so I have phoned them and im gonna be up there trying to get past this! Ill have my phone with me so ill let you all know what its like and stuff. Everyone else, dont give up!!! YOU CAN TOTALLY BEAT THIS

  82. Nats says:

    Thanks Jane and Christy for your support, I hope me doing this will make me see things a bit differently, even though my ED never really stemed from wanting to lose weight ive kinda got used to being a stick!
    I want you all to just wake up tomorrow morning and think to yourself “I am a strong person who is beautiful no matter what everyone thinks.! I will be myself and if people dont like that then they are no my firends” You can say that without fear of being rejected by the people who claim to love you by putting yopu down as you know everyone here knows what you are going through and are here to help no matter what the problem is! I have never met any of you and I already know your all beauftiful! I hope some or all (im not expecting anything) of you follow my example and seak the help you need. I am absolutly pooing myself at the idea of going to this clinic and I know im going to suffer more than I did when I lost my baby BUT I know that I will become a stronger happier person for it!

    Comeon guys if I can do it then so can you!!!

    Love you all lots xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  83. Joey says:

    I just want to say – i’m so proud of everyone here, especially Nat :)

    I’m not doing so well – i desperately want to go to proanorexia and chat to someone who understands about what’s up. I’ve only broken once since i last commented, which was to pass on good news – the last of the 5 who attempted suicide has been accounted for, her dad contacted me to say she’s okay and to thank livejournal proanorexia for supporting her and contacting the authorities.
    The system by which the members got help to the girl was through a system i set up after Kristi died. So i guess i’m still indirectly saving lives even when i’m not there,which is a comfort.

    Anyway, i just wanna talk about what’s bothering me here, rather than crawling back to proanorexia..
    Today i’m feeling really depressed. I don’t really know why, but i just feel like i don’t really want to be alive. My obsessive-compulsiveness has been high today – it feels like there’s dirt crawling all over me and i’m kindof “slimy”. I feel really fat too, unsurprisingly cos i’m gaining weight. I can’t spend my life in elastic-waist joggers, loose tops and giant hoodies. I had a nightmare last night that was basically loads of people accusing me of faking an eating disorder; unsurprising really cos i feel like i’m making a big fuss over nothing most of the time, especially cos i’ve been asking people for help for so long and noone seems to care. Everything just seems so hopeless. Everyone also seems to think it’s just so easy to eat properly too. I just want to stop emotional bingeing, and then everything else will fall into place and i’ll be fine. But i can’t seem to stop, however hard i try, and i feel like i’m weak and worthless and fat….i guess cos that’s what society says someone is when someone gains weight or eats in any way uncontrollably. Though…it feels like food is my only friend.
    Idk. i’ll shut up now.

  84. Ale.ana.em says:

    Hey all..
    I took the challenge but i dint say it because i dont want to any one to notice if i fail..but im here telling you all, isnt that contradictory? hmm? the thing is im having problems with this..i dont know what to do… i stopped the starving thing but my SI came back… it just feel good when im eating and feeling bad.i dont want to be like this… i think its better if i just leave it as it is.. i have fail..

    Damn voice im my head…

  85. Emily says:



    Aww hun, Don’t say you have already failed you can do this, you have just got to be strong and break this vicious circle, i am in the same position as you, we can both do this if we really try and think to ourselves ” I Really Do Want To Get Better And Start Living My Life Properly” Every single one of us can do this including you and i no it. kepp on trying dont ever give up.

    Take care,
    Email me if you like
    Talk soon
    Emily XxX

  86. Una says:

    Hi Nats,
    what a change. What a strong woman you are. I hope all went well for you visit. That is a super step.
    Hope to hear from you soon.
    Luv Una

  87. Melissa says:

    Joey- I know what you mean about food being your only friend. You should be incredibly proud of yourself for setting up that life-saving system. You really are making a difference! Please don’t feel like you have to shut up- ever. Talk and talk and talk until you’ve run out of things to say. Holding it in, even a little, hurts you. I care about you, I’m really proud of you for all your efforts. ♥ Stay strong, I know you can do this!

    Ale.ana.em.- Have you tried calling any of the hotline numbers? Please, if you can’t do this yourself, try to get help. You do not need to live a miserable life. You deserve to be happy, please allow yourself to be! ♥

    Emily- Expect emails from me. :3

  88. Nats says:

    Hi all, I am up at the clinic now so I cant really talk alot as they watch your every move around here, just had breakfast! What a mission that was! Its weird to think that something so natural to most people was such a hard task for me. They make you sit there until you have finished whatever was on your plate! I dont think im gonna share how long i actually sat there for but in the end I finished the toast. They made me have two slices of it, it tasted horrible and I feel abit ill now but I guess that was bound to happen.
    This is possibly one of the hardest things I have ever done. This problem has taken over my life and its had to deal with that as I am the sort of person that is always in control of everything now im not. Hopefully after this visit of mine I will be able to say to you all that I am again in control of what happens in my life.

    Hiya Una and Joey, how are you guys getting on? I hope you are ok. I know how hard this is for you and I understand that its tearing you apart but you take some of my strength and do what you need to do to be happy. I hope you all know that I am here for you, no matter what happens at this clinic I will always be logging on to check on how you guys are doing and making sure your ok.

    Love you all lots xxx

  89. Melissa says:

    Hey Nats- I’m so proud of you! Was it plain toast? I can imagine how gross it was, then! 3x

    Keep up the good work! I hope you are inspiring some of the other readers. ♥

    Brightes Blessings,
    -♥- Melissa

  90. Nats says:

    Hey Melissa!
    no the toast had butter all over it! It looked and smelled minging! Took a while but i got there.
    I hope im inspiring other people too, I believe I can do it so can you all xxx

  91. Joey says:

    Hi Nats, Melissa, and all the others..

    Nats – i’m SO PROUD of you!!! Well done!

    I completely failed the challenge agaaiiiinnnn last night because i was really suicidal and was desperate for someone to talk to. Still feel pretty bad, but i’ve got to keep fighting a little longer – it’s my sisters 16th birthday tomorrow and i’ve got to be around for her, especially cos it’s her first birthday without our mum.


  92. Nats says:

    Hey Joey hun,

    im so sorry to hear that things didnt work out last night, dont look at it as failing, look at it as another hurdle in the road. Just gotta jump over it and move on to the next one and believe me there will be a few of those.
    What I am trying to do at the mo is get better as this ED is taking over my life and it needs to stop! I am guessing your feeling the same as me, maybe worse I dont know but the fact is our aims are the same. Never try and hide the fact that a hurdle got in the way, never try and cover it up as the guilt you will put on yourself will make you even worse. I find that the best people in the world are thoses that can admit they messed up. I mess up all the time and ill tell you all now that I messed up being pregnant BUT I WILL NOT LET IT CONTROL MY LIFE. There are so many restrictions on all of us these days and yet we are adding more of them ourselves. And why are we doing it??? I mean I know why we are doing it but if you think about it what is the point in what we are doing? I have been doing it so I could feel control in my life. What a load of crap! It has controlled me and it will continue to do so until i say “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”.

    Im say it now guys ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and im done with letting this controlling animal thats inside me take over my life!

    Hope your all ok love ya loads xxx

  93. Melissa says:

    Joey- You mean you went on a Proana site? You know you could have come to us on here, I’m on all the time! ♥

    I’m glad you found the strength to struggle through. I’d really miss you.

    Happy Birthday to your sister! :3

    Nats- Hallelujah! Amen! You go, woot woot! *parties* =P

    Great job! Throw down the chains of oppression that your ED has placed upon you!

    *giggles* Sorry, it’s just all so dramatic. Lots of cliches but I mean them all. =) You should be proud of yourself! ♥


  94. Una says:

    Hi Nats,
    that sounds absolutly brilliant. I am really very impressed by you. You are wonderful and courageous.
    Big Hugg

  95. Emily says:

    Hi everyone.

    How are you all doing??

    I have recently got help from a outpaitent ED Clinic. its so hard tho, feel like giving up but i no that would be a waste of time, and i do truly want to get better.

    Mesllisa- How are u hun? Email me-

    Lots of love
    Emily XxX

  96. Joey says:

    Hi Nats, Melissa & everyone else!!!

    Yesterday i ‘failed’ in that i went to a pro-ana site because i was so desperately lonely. I had posted on here first, but noone was around, and i lasted out for about an hour or two until i gave up and went to proanorexia.
    I guess my aim should be to avoid proanorexia sites unless it’s somehow essential that i visit – like last night or when there was the suicide attempts. Then i haven’t failed yet!

    It’s 1am now and i’ve just finished making my sisters birthday present *sigh of relief*. I’m very glad i got it done on time. Having a project with a deadline is a really good thing to take your mind off ED stuff. Because i was so busy painting this evening i didn’t binge until about 10:30pm, when normally i’d be bingeing continuously from 7 :)


  97. Nats says:

    Hey guys!
    I’m still here, which has surprised me more than anyone else! Things are a bit weird here, they are very strict which I guess is a good thing as I probably would have walked out by now. One girl tried to hide her dinner last night ( which was minging, seemed they put a lot of butter and milk in their mash!) She tried to pretend to blow her nose and put her food in the tissue. She got busted by one of the staff so they put more on her plate to eat. Apparently she was sat there for four hours! It only took me two which I guess is a lot. I had to eat it there was no choice, was gonna try hiding it but seeing her get busted like that soon put me off the idea.

    I get weighed on saturday but they won’t be telling me my weight which is fine by me! They apparently do it so they can check your progress.

    Anyway, joey you haven’t failed as I said they are just hurdles that’s all, just jump over them and carry on as much as you can. I hope that I am showing you and everyone else that even though its hard to recover from this it can be done! I’m starting to think about all these different things I can do once I have got rid of this. I could try for another baby, I could do soooo much and these things never crossed my mind, I was too obsessed with hiding my ED. Strange thing is noone has even questioned my weight or where I am now, I told work that I’m on holiday so ill be back soon. Its mad, people see what they want to and hear what they want to hear. I’ve decided that I really don’t care about them, I am gonna do this for myself and the baby, she wouldn’t have wanted me like this.

    Take care all of you and keep going, look for the thing you want most and head for it, don’t let anything hold you back, you can do anything you put your mind to and become who you want to be x

    Love ya loads guys


  98. Melissa says:

    Good job, Nats!

    Wow, I’m so proud of you! Keep up the amazing work!

    I tried making another post last night but it marked it as spam. I hope this one goes through… x.x


  99. mamavision says:

    Hi Marie Smith: Thank you for the recognition, I appreciated it! Interesting site, how did you start creating the ED list?

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  101. Julie says:

    Yay! I’m so glad you’re doing this, MV. I haven’t had the chance to read your blog in a while, but wow what a joy to come back and find this. Count me 100% in on this challenge, even though technically I am “recovered” ana these are great ideas for all of us concerned women and moms to put into practice and share. Thanks so much —


  102. mamavision says:

    Hi Ginamarie: Anyone can start this at any time. I am glad you are giving this a chance. Life is a lot nicer on the other side :)

    One thing I learned by watching and listening to the girls go through this challenge was the hardest part was letting go of the friends they had made in the forums. The reality is they are support in a way, and they are friends. However, I always compare this support to being an alcoholic and heading down to the corner bar for to share a cocktail and get advice.

    I’ll keep checking in on you, so please keep posting!

    You are doing the right thing, a better life awaits you. Trust me.

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  104. Razia Boota says:

    “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for meACn.”(Col.3: 23)

    Peace to you,

    We are pleased to introduce “Biblical Educational Ministry” and a Church who are both serving the people in the poor Muslim country Pakistan. We are running BEM & Church on a self-supporting basis.
    Its honor for our ministry that you join us for revival in Pakistan. And we hope our people will blessed from our fellowship. We are registered and approved by the government of Pakistan under Reg. # RJSC/Fsd/53. So you can freely work with us.
    Bible says: “Because people who are well don’t need a doctor! Its the sick people who do!” Was Jesus’ reply.” (Matthew 9:12)
    Moses & Jonah don’t want to go there, but our mighty Lord uses them to serve His kingdom. Bible Says: “And now I have heard the groanings of the people of Israel, in slavery now to the Egyptians, and I remember my promise.” (Exodus 6:5)
    Praise the Lord! that we are serving the same Lord of Israel and we believe that He will also save our people. Its very easy for you to minister, because this is not a new thing for you to ministering the people.
    We are serving in Pakistan where Christian being a poor community has to face lot of difficulties. Majority of Christian men are addicted or jobless and their wives are compel to work in Muslims houses to earn something for their children due to un skillness they work as a housemaid. Unfortunately their pay is not sufficient to meet their needs but most of them become victim of Muslims sexuality some time they lost their life by denying to do so.
    As other third world countries mostly people are poor, so firstly they want to fulfill their daily needs and then they are ready to hear the word of God. In Pakistan 60% of the population is jobless. Many of the younger generation are unemployment due to a lack of skills and they easily become involved with bad people. They are compel to do so because they don’t have enough sources and facilities to get good skill or high tech for better job to make their future bright. This is militating on their future. Consequently they are adopting evil ways. That’s the reason our people produces and helps the terrorists.
    Revivaling Crusades and Seminars are one of the best and effective way to teach the people. We can easily teach Christians among Muslims in these types of meetings. Who have burdon to teach & preach in the depressed & needy people? can easily join us.
    Money is not our requirement, as every one knows that Gospel is a gift, which is free for all. If our Lord has given you a gift of teaching & preaching don’t hesitate to come and give us dates that we arrange your meetings in Pakistan.
    If you are unable to come than how you can help us?
    • Prayer Support.
    • Send your friends for Revival Crusades & Seminars
    • Financial & Moral support
    • Through religious materials or other things as you like.
    If you are able to help our people in anyway please do not hesitate to sown a seed and do it for the work of God and join us for revival in Pakistan. We can’t give you any reward for your help, we only pray for you, but our Lord will give you reward from the doors of haven.
    We request you to please remember our ministry in your daily prayers that almighty God will use our team only for His glorious work. We can give you more information on your reply.
    God blesses you, empower you, strengthen you and encourage you with Holy Spirit so that you may help the needy people more effectively.
    Thanks and God bless you all.
    In Jesus Love,

    Ev. Razia Boota & Pervaiz
    P.O. Box 1064,
    People Colony # 2,
    Please send your all donations & love offering in favor of Razia Boota on the above address.

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  107. Monica says:

    Hey :) I wanted to give you an update. I watched your challenge video on youtube when you made it. I was *so* not into the idea at the time! But at the end of July I gave it a shot–except I followed the challenge for 4 months instead of 30 days. The only thing I didn’t do was chuck the scale–I continued to weigh in daily. But I did not visit pro ana sites, watch youtube videos, look at thinspo, read or look at fashion/beauty mags, watch any weight related tv programs, etc. For 4 months.

    I maintained my weight of 105 lbs for just over 4 months. My weight never fluctuated more than 2 pounds and never fell below 105.

    So I’ve given your challenge a go with the best of effort I was able to muster–and I DO think it was a good effort. I didn’t gain weight but I maintained for a long time. Maintaining is a good thing though, isn’t it?

    What I gained from the experience was the ability to center myself in peace and positive energy, achieved through daily transcendental meditation. I no longer experience depression like I used to–but my depression was related to traumatic experiences of my past rather than fretting about my weight. Weight control and weight loss were ways I coped with those intense feelings, but I have developed new ways through my meditation practices.

    However, I am now back on a high exercise routine and looking forward to dropping more weight before the new year.

    All I’m saying is that your challenge did help me develop very good and effective coping mechanisms and helped me maintain my weight for a long time. But it didn’t “cure” my anorexic tendencies.

  108. Jacqueline says:

    I just read over this post, and even though it is a little too late to be joining this campaign, I did want to note that I went on one of ‘fasts’ a while ago.

    I decided to take away all the trash (mags,internet,thinspiration) out of my life. This happened in March and slowly but surely I came back, and 25 pounds too!

    When I catch a glance at the brain washing advertisments etc around me, I just shake my heads and pity the sad people behind all this shame.

    This program worked for me!

    Cheers Mama V, you are saint like.

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