Take it or leave it

In a prior post, I stated I live by the philosophy, “This is who I am, take it or leave it.”

The response to this statement was positive, but I heard in your voices that you admire this, and wish you could be this way. You can.

I don’t know how I grew to be so strong about this, my parents no doubt instilled it in me, and my grandma’s were some toughy’s, so maybe its genetic. I’d like to believe its not. I would prefer to say you can learn to think like this, its all about believing in yourself.

Here’s a few more for you to ponder:

mamaV quote #2: “The time you spend trying to please others, is time wasted being untrue to yourself.”

I submitted this one for a Starbucks “The Way I see it” coffee cup quote, and my husband thought it sounded too selfish. We debated it and I brought him around my way. The point is, the more you try to please others, the more miserable you will be. Trust me, its like a law of physics (women tend to be the worst at this). We all sit around fretting about what everyone is thinking about us…. do they like us? did they think I was ugly, fat, weird, stupid?

We need to get over it. You’ve got one life on the planet, and you need to live it for yourself and your own well being.

mamaV quote #3 : “I don’t care what others think of me”

I said this to a former boss and he sat me down to discuss it because he didn’t think I could be successful with this mindset. At face value, this seems snippy and self righteous, but at its base it is a road to peace. Seriously, what if you didn’t care what others thought about you? Think of how free you would be.

So why I live by this rule?  In business and in life, if I sat around worried about all the people that think I am a bitch, I’d d go home, curl up in the closet and cry. Life is not about trying to be everyone’s friend. Someone is always going to dislike you, so accept it and hang with the people that like you….they’ll give you strength.

mamaV thought for the day: “The base of eating disorders seems to be centered around what others think about us.”

I worry only about the following individuals and their feelings about me 1) my husband 2) my children 3) my parents 4) close family members 5) close friends. To these people, my heart is with them always. I would give my life for them. If ever hurt them with words or actions, it is always my first priority, above anything to talk about it and make it right.

So let’s let rest of ’em have fun gossiping away, because they are invisible and miserable. Try it girls, it will feel like a huge boulder has been lifted off your shoulders.




“whatever the mind can conceive, and believe, it will achieve.”

This entry was posted in Life Perspective, Self Esteem. Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Take it or leave it

  1. Melissa says:

    I totally agree with this. I used to be 100% comfortable with myself but within that past two years I’ve been doubtful about my choices, appearance, anything doubtable, really. It’s exhausting.

    I’ve decided that people who are too busy studying others’s appearances are just wastes of life. They are going to be doing that for a long time, meanwhile I’m going to college and I’m going to be successful. Regardless of how fat I am or if I’ve got a zit or 10 on my face. =P

  2. Jane says:

    I love your confidence Melissa!

    I agree with everything you said MamaV, and I’m sure that many of us are going to try putting it into action in our own lives… time will tell!

    I also hope it isn’t genetic; if it is, there are going to be a lot of people in trouble out there. But, you can always change the way you think I guess, it just depends on how willing you are to change and how much effort you’re willing to put into it.

  3. ana teen says:

    not all sites are bad

    http://www.proananation.com makes sure that you know that ana/mia is a severe mental illness and not a way to lose weight. Thought you would enjoy.

  4. Melissa says:

    Thanks Jane! =)

    I don’t think it is genetic, I just think it has to do with the environment you grow up in. If your mom is always asking “Do I look fat in this?” you are going to grow up wonering the same thing, you know? =)

  5. Jane says:

    i agree with ana teen; there are so many “pro-ed” sites that warn about eating disorders and offer support to those who suffer from an ED, are in recovery or who just want to know about eating disorders, but even as a person with an ED i have to acknowledge that some of the sites do attempt to glorify eating disorders and make recovery appear to be the worst thing an afflicted person can receive.

    No problem Melissa, I try to be honest! And I agree, it depends upon your environment… this would explain why so many people in counrties where thin = beauty are afflicted with eating disorders in comparison to those countries where this is not the case. I guess, its a parents job to try to instil self-worth, but the media also plays a huge role x

  6. Melissa says:

    Oh, no doubt the media plays a huge role in a lot of cases. I’m glad to see a lot of the children’s shows now-a-days showing chubby kids, skinny kids, black kids, white kids, etc. Not like how it was when I was younger (you know, oh so long ago.. xD I’m only 17, but still! xP) where we had skinny “perfect” white cartoon characters and actors to look at on tv. I think “Barney” didn’t even get a black kid for a long time after I started watching it.

    Anywho, my point is eventually that the media for the younger kids is steadily changing for the better but the media geared towards their parents is steadily growing worse. Like “America’s Next Top Model”, mom’s are watching that and feeling bad for themselves while their daughter is in the other room watching “Dora”.

  7. Clearly the “Mama V” name is catching on quite rapidly. Maybe you should get shirts made!

  8. Melissa says:

    I’d buy a shirt. =P

    “MamaV saves the day and colors with the kids! *insert photo of you wearing a cape that says ‘MamaVISION’ on it* ”

    Or something. You could do a lot better than me. xD

    Us fans should have like, a shirt-designing contest. >.> I just want to make one, lol. I tell everyone about you, MamaV! ♥

    Feeling Suddenly Crafty,

  9. Gina says:

    I learned about that picture when I was at treatment in arizona. They’ve like made her skinny.

    I hate how the media is changing everything..

  10. Bill Compton says:

    Hi Jim. Photos i received. Thanks

  11. Adriaan says:

    My rule has always been to respect the opinions of people I respect. If I don’t think much of someone, why would I care what they think of me? This seriously cuts down on the opinions you need to worry about. (Note that _respect_ does not have to mean _like_ – It’s worth paying attention to the opinions of a few honorable enemies.

  12. lesbian-teens says:

    I will never engage in phishing or abusive actions

  13. Pingback: 1 Year Anniversary | Eating Disorder Resource Anorexia Bulimia Help

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *