A girl named Gil.

There’s a girl name Gil, who is on the brink of death at this very moment. Her blood pressure down to 70/30 as she waits for the next heart attack to hit.


She needs you to listen.



Beautiful Gil is a 24 year old woman, who sinks to 45 pounds, then back up to 65 pounds when force fed through her feeding tube. Up and down she goes, for the past 13 years.



This is 45 pounds. My dear, 7 year old daughter, tall, lanky, and light as a feather.


As I write this, I cringe to think of Gil, trapped inside her impossibly weak, skeletal body. I can not fathom how she manages to take in each breath, how blessed I am to be her friend.


Gil’s therapy consists of treating her physical illness – the shove the ole tube down the nose routine. They pump her up to a livable weight, and push her back into the world to fend for herself.


The stem of Gil’s illness is abuse. Abuse beyond words. Abuse no child should ever encounter on this earth. Imagine in your head the worst possible act someone you love could do to you, and you will understand what happened to Gil.


She has not been able to get past it, at least not yet. Her abuser left scars so deep she feels disconnected from her body. She feels shame putting things in her mouth. How does one human being damage a child’s soul to the core, and live to tell about it?


For this, Gil is an angel on earth.


I live by the rule “everything happens for a reason.” I admit Gil’s story causes me pause on this statement, but I stand by it. The things suffered in this life must happen for a greater purpose, for your own individual greater purpose, or there simply is no purpose.


Gil is with us for a reason. My prayer is that she finds that reason, and is able to find the inner strength to turn her pain, festering wounds, intolerable suffering, anger, hurt, disgust, shame, and fear into something…..anything positive.


My bet is this. Gil’s story will stay with you for a while….she may even change that way you think about yourself, your body, your purpose.


Hmmm, I guess good ole’ Gil’s is already serving a greater purpose on this earth.


God bless you my friend.

I love you,




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23 Responses to A girl named Gil.

  1. Melissa says:

    What an amazing person!

    I truly hope that one day she can be healthy again. I can’t imagine living life that way since I was 11 years old. She’s very strong, I probably would have given up a long time ago.

    I hope she never does! ♥

  2. Julie says:

    Gil please do not give up ….

  3. Gina says:

    That’s crazy. I feel so bad for her. I lived off a feeding tube for a month and I could barly take the pain of it. It’s so sad. It just shows you how sick we truly are. The sad part is. She is what I want to become. I want to look like that.
    I’m trying to recover and I know wanting to be 60 pounds and even lower isn’t going to help me.
    I hope that one day she can recover…

  4. J says:

    If anyone wants to contact her may be, you can go to youtube and type Anorexia my hell, you will find this video there and could contact her through pm.

  5. Joey says:

    Bless her heart.
    I hope she doesn’t give up the battle.
    She’s beautiful.

  6. Licorice1977 says:

    I have been her weight. I wish I could take her pain away from her and place it on me. I’d rather die than have her die, and I do not even know her. I’ve been her weight before and have had the ng tube many times, so I have a hint of how she feels. I wish I could get in communication with her.


  7. mamavision says:

    Hi Licorice and all: When I hear from Gil, I will ask if I can give out her personal email. Until then please speak your feelings here on the open forum- SHE NEEDS US MORE THAN EVER!!!

    Thanks for your compassion and care everyone,

  8. Melissa says:

    You’re such an awesome person, Mama. =)

    I hope she says it’s okay. ♥

  9. Julie says:

    Mama V-
    Any updates on Gil —

  10. Niika says:

    I found this video several days ago… so, so sad. I wish I could help her somehow.

  11. Sofia M. says:

    I’ve read about Gil on various websites. I wish her all the best, and hope that she can eventually gain some semblance of normality in her life, perhaps even recovering one day. Her story has reached many girls who, hopefully, will learn something from it. I know her struggles will not be in vain.

    Anyway, I just want to say that, as an anorexic who is currently trying to recover, I am grateful for all of the hard work you’ve put into informing your visitors about the dangers of anorexia. Your lack of popularity in the pro-ana community is only a sign that you ARE making a difference. Thank you for being so blunt and honest about this illness, your struggles with it, and the media’s influence on young girl’s self-image. You are an incredible person for doing this.

  12. Wow, I dont even know what to say. What a wake up call. It definitely makes ya think “What the hell am I doing?” Like I haven’t seen this killing people enough in the past few months, you’d think some sort of buzzer would go off in my head. A few weeks ago I was going to bed just waiting to wake up to a phone call or an email that our friend (you know who I’m talking about) didn’t make it. It’s a horrible thing. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why is it so hard to get out of?? WHY?

  13. Torri says:

    This really made my sit up and pay attention. That poor girl I hope that she gets better and that eventually she can get her life back to normal.

    I also wanted to tell you that I think the website is amazing I found it quite by accident after watching one of your video’s on youtube (Message of support to pro ana nation) and I want to actually thank you for this website it’s actually stopped me from going on some of the pro ana/mia sites I usually go on.

    To have someone who’s been through what we’re going through, can understand and doesn’t judge is so important and for people like me who find it difficult to get support from our family and friends, websites like this one are so important to us in helping us find the strengh to try and sort out our illness, to go to that doctor and say ‘I need help’ and until that time when myself and others like me can be strong enough and unashamed to get the help that we need, websites like this will hopefully help us resist that reason to purge or starve ourselves.

    Thank you so much mamaV. You are truly an amazing person.


  14. Pingback: Prayers of hope needed for Gil « mamaVISION

  15. Dawn Chapman says:

    My struggles aint anything this girl has been through but i feel for her…. hope her pain ends soon….

    Dawn xx

  16. Lana (fadenaway) says:


    We all love you and miss you so much!!! You hang on, my dear. You’re in our thoughts and prayers ALWAYS!!


  17. amelia says:

    is she still alive this Gil. i cant believe that you can even stay alive at that weight, it seems impossible to me as im 5ft 11 and i expect i would die at 8st. Its a really really tragic story and i think it makes you aware to what extent you are effected by eating disorders. i dont consider myself to have an eating disorder although i definately have disordered eating but reading this story has made me reach for the chips, you have to have respect for your body, its very sad.

  18. steve says:

    The video is inspiring. Gil dont give up – you are a fighter.

  19. Missy says:

    Gil is actually a fraud. She is not terminally ill, although she does have anorexia nervosa. I understand that her illness is debilitating, but she is not as sick as she would have you believe.

  20. elle says:

    “she is not terminally ill, although she does have anorexia nervosa”.
    Mental illness can, and is quite often, terminal in the sense that with many mental illnesses you will never recover and may sometimes result in death. Anorexia can be one of them.

    “I understand her illness is debilitating, but she is not as sick as she would have you believe”.
    Your post actually leaves me lost for words.
    Seriously, please say you are joking?! Have a good, hard think about what it is about anorexia nervosa that makes it debilitating in the first place. Then think about how “sick” being as severely anorexic as Gil clearly is would make you (both mentally AND physically!).
    I strongly urge you to do some proper research on anorexia nervosa.

  21. Jill says:

    I’m a member of an ED support forum that Gil was a member of, and it was recently discovered that, no, she ISN’T as sick as she had everyone believe. For a while now, her “sister” has been logging in to the forum and telling everyone how Gil had gone into a coma and was on the edge of death. It turns out that her “sister” was, in fact, Gil herself- Gil being well enough to draw amusing little MS Paint pictures of a ballerina with a nasogastric tube, and post them on her Bebo. (While “in a coma.”)

    According to a few people close to Gil whom the administrators contacted, Gil “does have a problem,” but “only got ‘that thin’ once” (“that thin” referring to the pics of her with the tube in which she posts everywhere) and apparently is in stable condition at the moment.

    I won’t deny that Gil clearly has a problem. Yes, she is anorexic, but not to anywhere near as extreme a degree as she was saying. Missy was absolutely right with her comment.

    As someone who HAS been eating disordered for over two thirds of her life, I DO get angry when I see or hear of someone using an eating disorder as a way of getting pity or attention, and in my opinion, that’s exactly what Gil was doing.

  22. Pingback: 1 Year Anniversary | Eating Disorder Resource Anorexia Bulimia Help

  23. JR says:

    Mama vision…I, beg, I beg you to see what we all see. (with exception to those whom chose to remain oh-so-loyal to gil)
    For 12 yrs, I,too, follow gill & her saga. However back in 04-07 (aroundabout), she got caught in a lie…the kind that you emotionally invested your time, money, your life (literally gets put on hold, because of this nonsense)….EVERYTHING andappare

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