Psycho Street

Have women just completely lost it? This magazine cover is following me everywhere, from the airport, to the bookstore, to the gym- I see it constantly.

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New Beauty Magazine is in a class all by itself. It’s mission is to coach women on how to mold themselves from a human being, to a plastic waif with a paralyzed face. I’m telling you, this is sci-fi at its best.

Let’s take a look at how the magazine and website is categorized:

SKIN: Here you will find a lovely list of ways to burn, peel, and inject your god given skin to make damn sure no “expression” lines peek through the surface.

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BODY : Lift, suck, and tuck whenever, and where ever possible.

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FACE: As if the word “rhinoplasty” isn’t freaky enough, we are now all too familiar with the word “augmentation,” which means “the amount by which something increases,” in this case most commonly seen in breasts or lips puffed beyond human form.

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SMILE: If you make it to this section, and can still move your face, why not brighten that smile, to a pure, glaring, blinding, unnatural white….yeah, now I am pretty.

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Bottomline…we have too much damn time and money on our hands.

New Beauty is marketing genius. When you wear your self esteem on your sleeve, your going to get taken for all you’ve got.
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-mamaVISION

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4 Responses to Psycho Street

  1. bri says:

    the worst part is that the title sounds like that Dove campaign that was strong for awhile, so many girls and women are picking it up thinking it’s going to be inspirational and uplifting…and instead are having their insecurities and doubts shoved right back in their faces.

    sick.

  2. Danyel says:

    Holy Crap. That’s insane. I love the comic at the end though. I make jokes about that with my Step-Brothers and it’s fun b/c that’s the expression I’ll do ahah. It’s scary what people will think of you know what I mean? The entire world needs therapy!

  3. James says:

    Dan Bern – Rolling Away
    Song Lyrics (partial)

    …I caught a cold
    And for two days straight
    My ears have been plugged up
    As if my body’s sayin’
    You don’t need your ears
    You don’t use ’em anyway

    We need more nose jobs
    We need more hair relaxers
    More magazines telling us
    There’s something wrong with your face
    There’s something wrong with your face
    There’s something wrong with your face
    There’s something wrong with your face

    I am rolling from you
    You are rolling from me
    We are rollin’ away

    Some wild creature
    Has taken command
    I gave him the keys
    And he’s stompin’ through the house
    He has a very busy itinerary
    He does not have much time for you

    I am rolling from you
    You are rolling from me
    We are rollin’ away

  4. TONY says:

    RHINOPLASTY SUMS UP THESE GALS.THEY HAVE ALL TURNED INTO RHINOS
    OR IF THE NOSE FITS ELEPHANTS.THE ONLY PERSONS WHO LOOK GOOD AFTER SURGERY ARE THE SURGEONS IN THEIR NEW PORCHES.
    LEAVE IT ALONE LADIES.ALL OF YOU LOOK GOOD AS YOU ARE.
    STILL WHAT DO I KNOW IM ONLY A GUY.

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