Internet Suicide, hoax?

No hoax.

Pro-Anorexia forum leader Kristi documented the moments leading up to her suicide.

I have verified that Kristi has indeed taken her life, through reliable sources in the pro-ana community. The community pulled down the online debate that ensued after Kristi’s death, since they did not want the words of their members open for the world to see. They too where very concerned, and emotional about what had occured.

(Kristi’s body shot) (Kristi as a child) (Kristi and her beloved cat)

Pro-Anorexia communities have their right to exist online, as all other groups do. They continually make claims they are a “support site”, and in may ways they are. My problem is, in most ways they are not.

What I see is support for:

  • How to engage in deadly behaviors to lose weight
  • How to hide it from your parents.
  • How to stay motivated in your quest to starve by shaming yourself continually.
  • How to keep “trolls” off their sites…yeah,I am one of them.

A few disturbing examples to backup my statements:

Purge_Chick leads the pack on how to best throwup your food, the creativity here is quite sickening, she calls this her Purgatorium:


The community shows their style and personal flair through their avatars:


No, fashion and models have no influence in our society, c’mon!

Hello CFDA, anyone home?


Do these break your heart or is it just me?

One more example for the parents reading this story. The pro-ana sites support your daughters in many ways, they just don’t teach them how to starve and purge, they will tell them exactly how to hide it from you….and trust me they are.


My job is to show you how to do your own detective work.

Here’s how to view your children’s history on their computer.

Click on Tools on your internet browser , it should be on the top left.

A menu will pull down and you will see Internet Options or Options.
Click on Internet Options or Options.

This is the screen that stores the history of all sites viewed. Click on the tabs for History, Cookies, and Downloads. Each tab will show you information on what was viewed. If you see anything related to pro-ana, ana and mia, or thinspiration – your child is visiting Pro-Anorexia web sites. If you can’t find this info or need asssistance interpreting it, please email me or post a comment and I will help you in your detective work.

Pro-Ana’s if this post ticks you off, good. My work is done for the day.


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20 Responses to Internet Suicide, hoax?

  1. I love reading your posts, mama V, though I don’t always comment.

    Sadly enough, I look at that picture of the stick person and think “Why can’t I be that thin” as well. :(

  2. kay says:

    I can’t agree with you on this one mama v, i love you and all but this blog got me caught. I let my mom use my lap top, and i have automatic key memory, so to come to your blog all i have to do is press m and then enter. I forgot to erase my history when i let my mom use it, and she pressed M and enter, and then got “inspired” by you to check out everything else i had been doing. She found my xanga, where i keep track of purging and restriciting, and she found the pro ana forum i am apart of. Now, i don’t know if i will be able to transfer to D.C. as i planned to, i might have to spend another semester at the same damn university, and live with my parents ..yet again. I hope you are happy, because my life is now ruined. I had everything under control and now that is going to be gone.

  3. mamavision says:

    Hi palmtreechick: You will never be that stick person, because even if you were – you would not see it. I took a look at your blog today, and checked out “me uncovered.” I have been exactly where you are- stuck in it, deep. Day in and day out thinking, dreaming fighting thoughts about food. Its living hell.

    Never, ever did I feel fatter than when I was way underweight, working out 3 hours a day and restricting like a total maniac. I look at pictures now and I am like what the hell was I thinking, how did I look at that body and see fat. Our brain is a complicated machine, and our eyes deceive us.

    What are you doing on the positive track? You seem to run the same circles as I do online, which may not be the best thing for someone who wants to recover. We surround ourselves with those who are like us, its comforting, that’s why the pro-ana go to each other for support.

    There is a better life out there for you, you have to just get out there and reach for it. Find your passion, get absorbed in something besides your body (I know, sounds impossible), but it can be done.

    Ok, enough of the speeches for tonight. Hope my comments are not to irritating.,,,just care about you and I hate to see you suffering so much.


  4. calamity says:

    Yeah. It sucks, a lot, when your parents find out. But I wish mine wouldn’t have believed me every time I told them it was nothing, and I was ok. I wish they came to sites like this one, and found out this awful world that exists. I only wish they knew…and did something about it. But I am far too ashamed to tell them. Consider yourself lucky, Kay. And all the other “ana’s/mia’s” whose parents realized what was going on. You would have only died sooner. Or been miserable longer.

  5. mamavision says:

    Hi Kay: I just read your post, and then read it again to my husband. You getting busted is a victory. I know you don’t like me right now, but you know what? I like you, and I care about you and everything, everything happens for a reason.

    Your mother found your secrets and now she is doing her job. Thank god, or you could end up dead. Plain and simple.

    You are not ready to be on your own, she knows it, and hopefully you will get the treatment you need. If you are not ready for it or open to it, its not going to fly, so its up to you…..keep living the same miserable proana life you are living, or break away and find out what life really has to offer you.

    Take care, and I wish you the best.

    PS I hope your mom continues to be inspired and sees this post- I am THRILLED there are responsible parents that truly love their children enough to make sure they know what they are doing online.

  6. Jennie says:

    Mama V thankyou. that’s all I can say. Palmtreechick I know, I think the same way but I agree with Mama V – The more weight I lost the more obsessed I got and you know? I never saw myself as any different then, now and ever. I always look exactly the same size in the mirror and photos – too big, even at deaths door. I think in the end it matters more on the inside, if you never see yourself right then that is the thing to change, not the body. I don’t know, I’m still working on it.

    Kay, you really are lucky. my mother supported my problem and encouraged it. if it wasn’t for the supportive and caring man who became my husband I would have died long ago, I almost did.

  7. Hey Mama V.

    You’re comments are NOT irratating at all. I love reading them. Thank you! What am I doing on the positive track?? Hmm, working out? :) I don’t really know what I’m doing. I guess nothing. I’m not really sure.

    I’m trying to move to NYC, I know that. I would love to be a country singer, I know that. Other than that, I don’t really know where I’m going or what I’m doing.


  8. I spelled IRITATING wrong and it’s IRRITATING me.

    Oh yeah, that “Me uncovered” post was written about a year ago. I should go back and check it out too. Ugh, that might be frightening.

  9. Joey says:

    If you’re going to go against pro-anorexic sites then pick the sites that are truly pro-anorexic, not the ones that ARE support sites, or the ones that are in the transition.

  10. LisaMarie says:

    Hi mamaV,

    I have never written to you before, but I love what you are doing. I wish my parents had been pro-active and searched the computer history and busted me. I was asking to be caught and no one cared. I am now paying for this all now. Girls mamaV knows what she is talking about, I would listen or you will end up in a situation similar to mine or worse. I am now trying to take that first step too recovery, I have the support and am in therapy but to actually confront ED head on is so hard. I have health problems no 19yr old should have, medical bills a student can’t afford. MamaV, you are my hero and my inspiration keep up the awesome work!!!!

  11. Jennifer says:

    Perhaps people would take better to your preaching if you weren’t so self-righteous and bitchy about “busting” people.

    “You getting busted is a victory.” Yeah, if I was anorexic you can bet being told that will really help me want to get help. I can totally tell you’re doing this for their own good by the way you keep rubbing peoples noses in their failures (meaning your flickr is disgusting. Posting pictures of people and assuming they have an ED? What the hell is that about?)


  12. mamavision says:

    Dear Jennifer: Do you homework and come back when you are ready to have an adult conversation.

    I am a mother with two children, a great job, and an awesome life….also a survivor of and ED. This blog has turned into a parttime job for me, I put my heart into this to help people and I have, more times then you would ever care to know.

    If you see not value in my efforts, not a problem, go find somewhere else to post your off the cuff remarks.

  13. mamavision says:

    Hi Lisa Marie: You are a shining example of why I am doing what I am doing. I am so glad you see value in this blog, and I wish you the very best in your recovery.

    Life without ED is beyond explaination. ED is so overwelming, it consumes every aspect of your life to the point that you can not visualize any other life.

    Spread the word! The girls you see posting here who are angry will find their way, at least I hope they will.

    Take care and I hope to see you posting more comments.

  14. KaylaLee says:

    Hi mamaV,
    This is the first time I’ve seen your site; I ran into it while doing a research project for my women’s studies class. I love what you’re doing here. I’ve probably spent the last hour procrastinating my essay and just browsing your site. I used to have an ED in high school, and since college have faltered back to it at certain times, but I really wish I had found something like this, back when I was always on those pro-ana sites that just propell your efforts towards your ED.

  15. Pingback: Eating Disorders « Kimkins Scam

  16. DanaKay says:

    what is your problem. why can’t you let people be people. I am a proud anorexic and bulimic and just because you’re a jealous bitch doesn’t mean you can tell people that we are sick twisted people. We just are stronger people than you’re FAT ASS!

  17. Leia says:

    I think what you are doing is brilliant. Too many people (males and females) die of this horrible sickness. I myself was almost one of them. Keep up the good work and ignore the little teeny boppers wow are ‘proud’ of having the disorder. They will see one day how much you are trying to help them. (Thats if they don’t pass-away first)

  18. Tiffany says:

    The ugly truth does rear its head.

  19. Don says:

    I marvel at the incredible vanity, love of self and the sheer stupidty of some of these young ladies. But I also wonder where are the parents in all of this?

    My daughter worked 3 jobs as a young lady. A waitress, a weekly contributor for the local newspaper and, much to the amusment of her skin-deep school chums, a janitors helper at the school. While she was earning an honest dollar cleaning toilets and scraping gum off desks her “fashionable” friends would snicker and giggle. She saved 80% of every paycheque. In addition she volunteered at the local SPCA at was regularly seen about town catching stray cats and other sick animals and taking them in to be cared for.

    If she was caught anywhere near a convenience store to hang out with friends…..well lets just say ……lets not go there!!. Her homework was reviewed on a daily basis. Her wardrobe was subject to censorship, in other words she wasn’t allowed to dress like a whore. She wasn’t allowed to wear make-up or date until she was 17. When she was out in the day or in the evening we knew who her friends were, where her friends lived, who their parents were and exactly where she was going…..and we regularly paid her a “surprise” visit. She was always home before 9 pm and in bed and asleep before 10 pm. She was not allowed to have a computer and certainly not a telephone in her bedroom. She never had a cell phone (please!! don’t make me laugh…a child with a cell phone….!!!) Her use of the house phone was limited….as I would always say “a telephone is a tool…not a toy”

    She would never speak to anyone without saying “yes please” or “no thank you”….her elders were referred to as “Ma’am” or “Sir”. God help her if she was ever rude or disrespectful to either her mother or me. She ate everything on her plate and would not dream of complaining. Her room was kept clean (that was a real battle) and her chores around the house would be done without fail.

    Above all she knew she was a child and not an adult. She knew her place in the house and she also knew she was loved. But she knew, clearly, where the boundaries were and how not even God himself could help her if she decided to get “creative” with the rules.

    She was allowed to get a drivers licence but her driving record was checked monthly and she knew we would pull her licence if she received so much as a parking ticket.

    As parents we were not concerned with what the politically correct social workers and teachers thought. We could care less about the latest polls on television and the babblings of fools like Oprah and every other media “talking head” had no place in the raising of our daughter. We were not concerned about her “rights” or her “empowerment” or her “blossoming spirit” or any of that other new-age double talk. We told her many times, “when you start paying the rent then you can be as empowered as you like”. We raised her with commonsense, love and an iron hand.

    In return we have a beautiful, law abiding young woman who married a hard working young man. They purchased an acreage outside a national park with a view of the mountains and have been recently blessed with a son. They have chickens and a herd of adopted stray dogs and cats. She started her own pet grooming business has never looked back.

    She was a gift and a responsiblity. She has no regrets and neither do we.

    As for me… I am an ill tempered old bastard and a very proud father. ( and grandfather!!)

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