So you want to be a model?

Imagine you make it to the top. You are chosen to walk the runways of Europe, modeling fashions from the top designers , your images will be seen and admired from people around the world.

All eyes are on you, this is a moment of a lifetime, a dream come true.


This is how you look. This is how you feel. This is how your family sees you.

You go back to your model’s apartment, shared with the others, and sit alone, starving, hoping you can make it through the night with out “cheating” on your diet.

A diet that consists of baby food, cigarettes, and mandarin oranges by the pound. You have willpower, you don’t binge like the others. You watch them devour an entire cake at the kitchen table, laughing as they stuff their faces, rich chocolate frosting covering their lips. Their high ends as quickly, as they walk down the hall together towards the bathroom to vomit.

“Step on the scale. Let me see your body,” are the words of my Paris Agent as he ushers me into his office. “Just a few more pounds. This is a big job, try not to eat over the weekend.”

I won’t forget these sickening words uttered to me at 16 years old, working as a model in Paris. My agent running his old hands over my skinny frame, as we both face the huge mirror covering an entire wall of his office.

“Build up your shoulders, this is important,” he tells me as he puffs out his chest to demonstrate. He looks out the door and calls my booker in to take a look.

“Implants would complete your body,” my booker says. Ahh, yeah at 16, 5’9, 125 pounds I have exercised my body to the bone, what I had of any boobs are gone.

“Not an option,” I say. That ended that conversation. As I look back I despise these people, but at the time they had control. If I could go back in time, I would kick both of those two perverts in the balls.

As my agent and booker complete their weekly review of my body, they move on to my face. Can’t get out the door without more instructions on how to improve my look.

“Keep up those face exercises, we need to get rid of that baby fat,” my agent says as he kisses me forcefully on the cheek. Face exercises. Does it get more ridiculous that that? The sad part is we all did them.

Anything to be viewed as better than the next girl in line.

Need help? Reach out to me.

Other organizations and blogs that can help:

Inside Beauty

Eating Disorder Survival Guide for Parents

Mind on The Media

Back in Skinny Jeans Blog

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8 Responses to So you want to be a model?

  1. Nicole says:

    Stephanie Quilao referred me to your site. I’m doing a documentary on the impact the MEDIA (fashion mags, TV, celebs, commercials etc) has on girls and young women. I too modeled internationally with ELITE in the mid 90s. Would like to connect with you and see if maybe we can arrange an interview before I complete filming and shift into editing mode.


  2. We just brought a mom on board to contribute to our blog. You are the SUPERHEROS! Keep up the posting and please contribute via comments, I’d love to send some traffic your direction.

  3. mamavision says:

    Hi Steve: Your comment made my day, thank you! I had much hesitation in sharing these thoughts in this blog but the more I express, the more I feel like I am doing the right thing because of people like you.

    I checked out your site, nice work. I posted today to the blog that I believe was your new mom blogger, she had some interesting thoughts.

    Have a good one!

  4. Isabella says:

    Hello! my name is isabella and i have been modeling for about two years, i am now fourteen and am waiting for my contract to run out with wilhelmina. An agent in New York called me the other night saying he saw my photos and was impressed. The first thing he said to me was that i need to bring my weight down. I am 5’10” and my measurements are 36-26-34 and i am 130 pounds, i DO feel that if i lost a little weigh then i can do the catwalk (my ulitmate dream). I just feel that if i lose a little weight and get swept up in the Travel lifestyle that i will regret it in the end. If i make it big, then i will most likely drop out of school, and take online classes. It is what i really want, but i feel that i will be left hanging at the age of 30 with no degree or place to go. i really want to model, andi i feel that i can control my weight. I was just wondering if you could pleasee give me your advice on this lifestyle and some tips. Some things i should look forward to! i need help, to see if it worth it. Thanks!

  5. harriet offei says:

    pls do help me make it pls.thisis a good place n i know by his grace ucanhelp me achieve my aim. Thanks!

  6. chris says:

    good work – great photoshop …

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